Anybody else hate feeling obligated to do small talk?

[Darthphere]

The most I do if I'm around somebody I don't know is either give them a head nod, or if it's a hot girl I will say hi or hey, and leave it there.

Not really small talk related but we do and say stupid **** when hot girls are present. I remember once in high school the hot girl in school was walking towards me and my friends and I panicked and told one of them to hit me in the balls, as if that was going to impress her.

 

[Figs]

Not really small talk related but we do and say stupid **** when hot girls are present. I remember once in high school the hot girl in school was walking towards me and my friends and I panicked and told one of them to hit me in the balls, as if that was going to impress her.

 

[Darthphere]

I know right.

 

[PyroChamber]

I work in retail so small talk can really annoy me, especially if it's from a customer who feels they have to make some "witty" remark or something like that to get a reaction out of me.

I'm working here, I don't have time to hear you go on about how you went to all these different places to find an item that we don't even carry.

 

[Darthphere]

I work in retail so small talk can really annoy me, especially if it's from a customer who feels they have to make some "witty" remark or something like that to get a reaction out of me.

I'm working here, I don't have time to hear you go on about how you went to all these different places to find an item that we don't even carry.

I feel you. I hate it because there's so much emphasis on customer service so you have to just take whatever they say. I mean, just last week a customer complained about me because "I wasn't friendly enough." What the ****?

 

[Leenie]

Sometimes I LOVE socializing, and sometimes I just want to be left alone. There is nothing worse than dealing with a big group of loud people when I'm really not in the mood for it. Sometimes I just need some down time to recharge my battery, ya know? It's always good to have some "Me Time" once in a while, in my opinion.

As for small talk with someone, I used to find it really awkward, but not so much anymore. I'm one of those people who says nothing when they have nothing of substance to say. I've learned to get comfortable with that. If other people find it uncomfortable, then that's not my problem. That doesn't mean I never engage in small talk though ... I just don't want to yammer on about the weather for 20 minutes. Haha.

 

[Fading]

I used to hate small talk, but have warmed up to it. I don't think you need to work on "people skills" as much as just naturally grow into it. I used to be big on making every word count. I hated the thought of sounding stupid, especially from rambling since I hated when others rambled on. Eventually I just got comfortable enough to say what's on my mind rather than keep everything in. Once I started doing that I made quick friends with everyone at my old job. Apparently I'm good with random humor, and make co-workers laugh, makes the day go smoother.

I still hate cliched small talk though, "How's the weather?"...blah, just look up. My advice would just allow yourself to let loose around others, and respond to them naturally. You'd be surprised how conversation opens up more interestingly when you're not just hitting the generic one liners.

 

[Fading]

I know right.

Better than just locking up. I just froze, and turned red when a hottie I liked walked past me in school.

Both of which are better then that annoying suddenly raising your voice, and bringing up some irrelevant topic to your friends like it's the most important conversation of your life. All while hoping she hears you, not realising you're being too obvious, and making an ass of yourself.

 

[Anita18]

I'm an extreme introvert and engaging in small talk was exceedingly difficult when I approached it thinking I had to be the one to initiate conversation. Cause I'm awkward and really bad at it.

Now it isn't nearly as hard for me as it was before. I just mostly listen, and ask questions. We're introverts, right? We like to listen, normally. Or at least we prefer listening to talking. And people loooove talking about themselves.

Also, conversations get a lot more interesting when you get to the meat right away. I find talking to older folks to be much more interesting than talking to people my age or younger, because most older folks will just say what they mean, right away. No "small talk" or "putting on appearances."

Just today I went to the ice rink and found myself in conversation with an older woman just learning to skate. I had brought an art project to photograph there, and she commented very positively on it, so that was our original ice breaker. Later I came over to compliment her skating, and less than 10 minutes later she was telling me about how she was a nurse during the AIDs epidemic in the early 80s and how scary it was because they didn't know anything about it. And how she ran down the stairs of the WTC during 9/11 and now she just does what she wants (including not being scared of learning to skate) because everything else is small fry.

All that stuff is MUCH more interesting than talking about the weather. As introverts, we're actually better built to get to the real meat of a conversation and find out more about people.

But that only applies if you're actually interested in people, which I am. My fiance is even more of an introvert than I am and I bet he doesn't care about what people do, really.

 

[sickbeef]

OK. First of all. Sorry this is WAAAAAAY off topic.

This is the worst forum i've ever signed up for. I cant start a thread, every thread i try to read only comes up on the third try. This is the last time i will even think about visiting these ****** forums. MODS! Please read this and try to improve for the people who will want to use this forum.

 

[Secret Fawful]

I hate small talk. It's so pointless. I don't understand how these small, meaningless, miserable, rotten little worms can think I would care about their trivial day to day thoughts and matters. I'd rather see them all burned ALIVE.

 

[Darthphere]

OK. First of all. Sorry this is WAAAAAAY off topic.

This is the worst forum i've ever signed up for. I cant start a thread, every thread i try to read only comes up on the third try. This is the last time i will even think about visiting these ****** forums. MODS! Please read this and try to improve for the people who will want to use this forum.

You're terrible at small talk.

 

[Anubis]

I hate small talk. But I really hate people who start with small talk and move into big talk.

I'm taking care of this patron. I've never met this chick before. She starts in simple, about what she's getting and why and how hard her classes are. Before I know it she's telling about how she was homeless for 6 years and her best friend set her up to be raped and I'm like, "Lady! I don't wanna know that s**t!"

 

[BatSpider]

OK. First of all. Sorry this is WAAAAAAY off topic.

This is the worst forum i've ever signed up for. I cant start a thread, every thread i try to read only comes up on the third try. This is the last time i will even think about visiting these ****** forums. MODS! Please read this and try to improve for the people who will want to use this forum.

*awkward silence

not good at small talk i guess.

 

[Anubis]

Or using the internet for that matter.

 

[Figs]

I'm an extreme introvert and engaging in small talk was exceedingly difficult when I approached it thinking I had to be the one to initiate conversation. Cause I'm awkward and really bad at it.


Same here, only problem is that most people are ignorant and instantly assume because you're quiet that you're arrogant. I've found this out over many years and can understand where people are coming from but at the same time it's like people are stupid and don't realize some people are shy, or just don't like to talk a lot all the time.

Also, conversations get a lot more interesting when you get to the meat right away. I find talking to older folks to be much more interesting than talking to people my age or younger, because most older folks will just say what they mean, right away. No "small talk" or "putting on appearances."

In my experience it's also because older people have better stories and are in a lot of cases more intelligent than teens and people still immature in their 20s who talk out of their asses.

All that stuff is MUCH more interesting than talking about the weather. As introverts, we're actually better built to get to the real meat of a conversation and find out more about people.

I heavily agree about introverts getting to the meat of a conversation most of the time. Literally every extrovert I know talks out of their ass and just jokes around like a clown, they're not teenagers by the way. One thing I've learned in life is that introverted people are way more intellectual than your average attention seeking extrovert. I get **** from a lot of my so called friends because I like to get into debates and interesting arguments. We're in our very early 30s and they still, like high schoolers, say that that's being a downer.

Right, I'm being a downer because I'm acting like an intelligent mature and confident adult and don't want to engage in conversations about nothing as I like to call them.

With all that being said, not all extroverts are like that of course, but once again, in my experience, I would say a very large percentage are.

 

[katie_girl09]

Oh, oh! Meee! I do! I feel so awkward trying to make small talk. Feeling like I have to makes it even worse.

 

[ThePowerCosmic]

Oh, god. I really hate small talk, then again I'm a pretty big introvert.

 

[ComicChick]

OK. First of all. Sorry this is WAAAAAAY off topic.

This is the worst forum i've ever signed up for. I cant start a thread, every thread i try to read only comes up on the third try. This is the last time i will even think about visiting these ****** forums. MODS! Please read this and try to improve for the people who will want to use this forum.

you just joined, what could you possibly need to create a thread about already?

 

[E-Man]

The perfect way to fill in small talk is to talk about sports. If you're American chances are they like one of the major three sports, football, basketball, and baseball. If by chance you nor them like either like the soulless sad person you are, then talk boxing, soccer, MMA, the Olympics, tennis.

Everybody likes something. Just figuring out what they like makes small talk easier. It doesn't necessarily have to be sports, but sports are so popular that your chances of finding something they like is very high. Even if you don't like at least one sport because you're a bad person it gives you a platform to talk about what you do like.

 

[ThePowerCosmic]

Not everyone is a sports fan though, including me.

 

[El Payaso]

So why did you come to a discussion board and start a discussion?

This is BIG talk!

 

[terry78]

The perfect way to fill in small talk is to talk about sports. If you're American chances are they like one of the major three sports, football, basketball, and baseball. If by chance you nor them like either like the soulless sad person you are, then talk boxing, soccer, MMA, the Olympics, tennis.

Everybody likes something. Just figuring out what they like makes small talk easier. It doesn't necessarily have to be sports, but sports are so popular that your chances of finding something they like is very high. Even if you don't like at least one sport because you're a bad person it gives you a platform to talk about what you do like.

Though the irony is that if you're in the company of an introvert sports is like the last thing they know about.

 

[E-Man]

Not everyone is a sports fan though, including me.

Not liking sports means that you let the terrorists win. That makes Captain America cry.

Besides, you just gotta ask the questions and they'll talk. It's a lot better than awkward silence. Just ask, "You into sports? Who are you rooting for?" They'll tell you, and that'll break the ice a bit. When they ask you who is your team you say, "Oh I don't like sports because I'm letting the terrorists win, but I do like comics. I know you saw the Avengers, didn't you?"

Easy as pie.

 

[ThePowerCosmic]

Not liking sports means that you let the terrorists win. That makes Captain America cry.

Besides, you just gotta ask the questions and they'll talk. It's a lot better than awkward silence. Just ask, "You into sports? Who are you rooting for?" They'll tell you, and that'll break the ice a bit. When they ask you who is your team you say, "Oh I don't like sports because I'm letting the terrorists win, but I do like comics. I know you saw the Avengers, didn't you?"

Easy as pie.

Yeah, I just don't like when they ask me if I'm into Sports back, because then they look at me weird for bringing it up in the first place. Oh well, guess I'll just have to face the music...

Spoiler