Batman Quotes: The Best of the Best

[DarkKnightJRK]

Post quotes from Batman (or other characters in the Bat-verse) that you like: be it funny, touching, or just plain badass.

Here's a few from Broken City:

"Now, longly hearts and Sunday School teachers like to say that the rain is the tears of God. But God doesn't bother to cry on Gotham. This rain? If it coems from Him...it's not His tears."

"Out the window...onto the street. The street...and into my head. My head. Crash. Bang bang. Ka-boom. Gunshots? Thunder? Or just God...laughing at me again?"

Allen: What are you doing?
Bruce: Grilling.
Allen: Who?
Bruce: A steak.
Allen: You cook?
Bruce: No, I grill. It helps me relax.
Allen: Grilling a steak to relax? But a prime piece of meat has to be just right, not under--or God forbid--overdone. It is. And there's no sause known to mankind--or the French--that could hide the fact that the chef's to blame. That makes a steak the most stressful thing to cook, you know?
Bruce: I know.

Batman: You know how accidents happen, Jonny? Guys--guys like you--get careless, forget what's dangerous in a place like this. Next thing they know, they're in the emergence room, one hand wrapped in a sticky, wet shirt, the other clutching a bag full of ice and little pieces of themselves. It's a shame too, because it could be prevented, if they'd just paid attention...to what's really dangerous.

Batman: "A man without fear...is a LIAR. Truth is, EVERYBODY'S afraid of SOMETHING. I've successfully spent more time than money making sure EVERYBODY'S afraid of ME. Afraid of me. EVERYBODY'S afraid of SOMETHING. What am I afraid of? It's not spider's the dark, losing...LOSING...or even death. But DREAMING.
SOMETIMES when I dream, the gun goes "bang bang"..but he MISSES. Or BEFORE the 'bang bang' I act. I know EXACTLY the right bundle of nerves I need to squeeze to make him drop the gun. Which he does, but I keep squeezing, more pressure, more pressure...waiting for the nauseating POP...and when it comes, I know he'll NEVER be able to hold a gun ever again...and I'll be held by arms that I've NEVER been held by SINCE.
And SOMETIMES, it's not just a 'bang bang', but a...bang bang...BANG. And we're TOGETHER. But it's just a LIE. A DREAM...that WON'T come TRUE.

Scarface: See, I jus' got off da blower with da boid an' he says the Bat's woids is GOSPEL.
Rosie: The Bat? Since when does the DEVIL tell the TRUTH?

Batman: "tonight, three inmates simultaneously stuck their arms up wher the sun NEVER shines and pull their GUTS into the LIGHT of day."

Batman: "The rain seemed to be letting up, coming down in DRIBBLES and SHAKES--meanin God was done with Gotham. I appreciated that His timing couldn't have been WORSE for me, but I felt lucky to find a broken gutter, so I could HIDE the stream runnign down my face. And as the sun, that had been too afraid to show its face in this scity, started to turn the black into grey, I SMILED. Not out of HAPPINESS, but because I KNEW...
...That one day, I WOULDN'T have to do THIS anymore. One day, I could stop fightng, because one day...I would WIN. One day, there will be NO PAIN, NO LOSS...NO CRIME. Because of ME, because I FIGHT. For YOU. One day, I WILL win.
I HOPE, for YOUR sake, that day is TOMORROW..."

 

[spdrknight]

Nice quotes man

 

[Phantasm]

BEAUTIFUL quotes.Hadn't heard of them before.

"My parents taught me a different lesson.Lying on the street,shaking with deep shock, they showed me that the world only makes sense when you force it to."

"The wolf howls. I know how it feels."

Batman is such a beautifully tragic character.

 

[BatmanRules33]

are we doing quotes just from the comics?

 

[Antonello Blueberry]

"I know pain. Sometimes I share it. With someone like you"

 

[DarkKnightJRK]

are we doing quotes just from the comics?

Nah, if it was just comics, then I'd just put it on the comics forum. Just put good Batman quotes, be it from the comics, television, cartoons, or whatever.

 

[Phantasm]

"Guy who dresses up like a bat CLEARLY has issues!"

 

[Batfan14]

Batman: "He Fell."

-Hush

 

[DarkKnightJRK]

From Justice League International:

Blue Beetle: ...You think maybe it's too late to petition for a new Green Lantern? Hey, Bats--mabe you could wear the ring...
Batman: It would only get in my way.
Blue Beetle: ...Yeah...besides, who'd ever buy a super-hero called the "Green Batman"? I mean, that's almost as dumb as--
Batman: The Blue Beetle?
Blue Beetle: Well...um...ah...

Blue Beetle: You have any idea how many hours we've been here...
Batman: Nine-point-two hours.
Blue Beetle: Thank you, Mr. Spock.
Batman: Pardon me?
Blue Beetle: Just a little joke, Bats.
Batman: Spare us the humor, Beetle. This is serious business.
Blue Beetle: Isn't it always?
---
Batman: Can you follow them--but from enough distance so we're not noticed?
Blue Beetle: Sure can!
Batman: Okay then, Mr. Sulu--Warp seven!
Blue Beetle: Hey everybody--Batman made a funny! BATMAN MADE A FUNNY!!
Batman: Don't push your luck, Beetle.
Blue Beetle: Sorry, Bats.

Batman: Be a good boy now, Guy--or I'm going to have to keep you after CLASS. You wouldn't want that, BELIEVE ME.

Maxwell Lord: You're upset, Batman. I can see that.
Batman: You're very perceptive.
Maxwell: Let's talk about this like reasonable men.
Batman: But I am NOT a reasonable man.

Guy Gardner: Geez--I don't know how I let myself get CLOBBERED like that.
Batman: Don't blame yourself, Guy. It wasn't your fault.
Guy: Say what?
Batman: You can't help it if you're an IDIOT.

Booster Gold: If we keep standing around out here in the open, he's gonna be finding US preety soon.
Batman: Good idea, Booster--we'll stay right where we are and let him come to us.
Booster: But I wasn't suggesting--
Batman: I like the way you think. Keep up the good work.
Booster: Was he kidding--or what?
Black Canary: Well, I seem to remember him making a joke once--it was...let me see...four..no, five years ago.. He's about time for another--and that might've been it.

Batman: Then let's see if we can knock that thing out of the sky.
Mr. Miracle: If we can't--I'll eat my mask.
...
Batman: How would you like that cooked?
Mr. Miracle: Rare...with a mild cheese sauce.

 

[logan_weapon_x]

This thread shoulda been called The Best of the Bat.

 

[DarkKnightJRK]

This thread shoulda been called The Best of the Bat.

Look up.

 

[logan_weapon_x]

Look up.

aw damn

 

[CorporalHicks]

"I am The Batman."

 

[Fledermaus]

"This from a man who uses a dog and a cape to protect his fortress..."

Superman: "We're surrounded, you know. I can hear them all.
Batman: "I think we can take them. Do you think we can take them?"
Superman: "You always think we can take them."
Batman: :Yes. I do"

Policeman: "Your under arrest, mister! You've crippled that man!"
Batman: "He's young, he'll probably walk again. But he'll stay scared--won't you punk?"
Punk: "Jesus, sweet Jesus...."

"It was tough work, carrying 220 pounds of sociopath to the top of Gotham Towers--the highest spot in the city. The scream alone is worth it."

"Deep down Clark's essentially a good person... and deep down, I'm not"

I know its not Batman it still kicks ass...
After handing him a severe beating with a crowbar...
Red Hood(to Joker): "Tell me....How does that feel?"

 

[Marina-Myst]

BTAS: Perchance to Dream

Batman: Why? Why did you do it?!!
Hatter: YOU, of all people have the...GALL to ask me that?!! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!!! I was willing to give you whatever life you wanted...JUST TO KEEP YOU OUT OF MINE!

 

[elorenishii386]

Batman & Poison Ivy: CAST SHADOWS

"How does one protect an entire city? By making sure the shadow he casts is long and wide...so that its reach can embrace--or engulf--all that walk here. So that every man, woman and child in the city of Gotham can feel its touch. If you are good, the shadow's wings are a welcome, protective blanket. If you are bad, you know its touch as a black splinter of fear."

"Why would a man destroy his own life? And then stand at the precipice of that destruction, with nothing of that destruction, with nothing left to do--but run, run, run. A burning man, a streak of light in the darkness. A strange phosphorescent sparkle emanates from his skin and trails after him. From a distance, it is beautiful. up close, it is something else. Now the man feels a shadow at his back. Does he welcome it, as a protective blanket? Was he a good man or a bad man? He burns so brilliant in the night--can he even see the shadow that chases him? If your eyes are the sun, can you see shadows? can a flame see the moths that haunt it?
What would make a man leap off a roof after a falling gun he could never hope to catch?
A man hangs, saved. He glows, a torch in the night--unaware of the dark shadow above that holds his life by a thin line. the line taut between a shadow and a light."

 

[Cats]

The Autobiography Of Bruce Wayne by Alan Brennert
[after the death of Selina Kyle]
Bruce Wayne - She's been gone, now, for many months, but it still seems impossible to me. Her death was pointless, tragic... but I have long since given up trying to find meaning in death. The meaning is in life; not death... and Selina's life was full of meaning as it was of love, and spirit,and courage. And when my time comes to join her... I would only hope the same could be said of me.

Batman Son of the Demon by Mike W. Barr and Jerry Bingham
Batman (to Talia) - There's never been any room in my life for a woman... that's what I told myself, after every liaison I've ever known shattered... maybe that's just what I wanted to believe. I've tried to forget you, God knows.. But I can't, I never could. I never will.

Batman & Spider-Man by J.M.DeMatteis
Spider-Man - Look at all these guys! I feel like hope and Crosby in "The Road to Utopia"!
Batman - Actually it was "The Road to Morocco"
Spider-Man - Ah-Ha! I knew we had something in common beyond our love of tights! You're into old movies too huh?
Batman - I was, when I was young.
Spider-Man - Young? Somehow I can't picture you ever being young! You must've been pretty cute, waddling around in your diapers chasing the Joker across the playground.
Batman - I was never "cute".

Batman: Venom by Dennis O'Neil
Batman (to Alfred) - Al-fred, it's me. Need help. Your help. Know you're mad at me but got no one else.

Batman: Knightfall by Dennis O'Neil
Alfred - No! Bruce, I have never questioned you before. nor have I, for one moment, ever been disloyal. You have given me an extraordinary life - a life I have cherished and hope to continue cherishing. But I will not be part of your self-destruction. Anything but that. If you do not obey the doctor's orders, I shall resign my post.
Bruce - Please try to understand. All I am is a man who serves an ideal. It's not something I can do halfway. If I've got to die in that service, the sacrifice would be regrettable, but if I shy back from the possibility of dying, my life has meant nothing.
Alfred - In that case, Mr Wayne, I hereby tender my resignation, effective immediately. Good day, sir.

Batman: The Animated Series
Dr. Leslie Thompkins - You seem quieter than usual tonight.
Batman - Every year I come here and wonder if it should be the last time, if I should put the past behind me, try to lead a normal life.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins - Santayanna says, Those who forget the past are condemed to repeat it.
Batman - He also said a fanatic is someone who redoubles his efforts while losing sight of his goal.

Alfred: Master Bruce, are you all right, sir?
Batman - I'm tired, Alfred.
Alfred - Well I shouldn't wonder, you've taken no meals today, and I can't recall when you last slept.
Batman - A weary body can be dealt with, but a weary spirit, that's something else. Sometimes, old friend, I wonder if I'm really doing any good out there.
Alfred - How can you doubt it? The lives you've saved, the criminals you've brought to justice.
Batman - I've put out a few fires yes, won a few battles, but the war goes on Alfred, on and on...

Batman - I chose this life. I use the night, I became the night, sooner or later I'll go down. It might be the Joker, or Two-Face, or just some punk who gets lucky. My decision. No regrets. But I can't let anyone else pay for my mistakes.
Robin - Jim Gordon's a cop, Bruce. He knows the risks.
Batman - How long before I let someone else I care about down? Leslie, Alfred, you? When all is said and done, how much good have I accomplished? They sell t-shirts of me! I've become a cliche! More good for the tourist trade than the streets.

Jim Gordon - Gotta keep fighting, never stop. What I try to live by. Maybe if I had been younger I could have been like you. Always wanted to be a hero.
Batman - You are a hero, Jim.

D.A. Janet Van Dorn - I see now there's a need for what you do. But I'm still going to work towards a city that doesn't need Batman.
Batman - Me too.

Justice League Unlimited
Batman - [while falling through the air after having to abandon his plane] I could use a little air support seeing as I can't fly... at all.
[continues to fall]
Batman - Now would be a good time.

Batman - What would stop you from doing what the Lorder Superman did?
Superman - There's always that kryptonite you carry around.
Batman - [yelling] You don't get to joke! Not today! I just took a bullet for you.

Batman: I'm not really a people person. But when you need help, and you will, call me.

Batman (to Wonder Woman) - Next time I let Superman take charge, just hit me, real hard.

 

[Batman]

BTAS:

Fake Thomas Wayne-"You are a disgrace!"

Batman-"No......NO......You are not my father.....I am NOT a disgrace!I am VENGEANCE.....I am THE NIGHT......I.......AM......BATMAN!"


Batman Begins:

Flass-"I dont know anything....I swear to god!"

Batman-"SWEAR TO ME!!"

- - -

Bruce-"You still havent given up on me?"

Alfred-"Never."

- - -

Ra's Al Ghul-"Justice Is Balance.You burned my home,and left me for dead.Consider us even."

- - -

Crane-"Hes here."

Thug-"Who?"

Crane-"The Batmaaaaaaan."

- - -

Gordon-"Take this guy.Armed robbery,double homicide......Got a taste for theatrics,like You.Leaves a calling card..."

Batman turns the card over,revealing a JOKER.

Batman-"I'll look into it."

Gordon-"I never said thank you."

Batman-"And you'll never have to."

- - -

Batman-"Its not who I am underneath......But what I DO that defines me."

- - -

Falcone-"What the hell are you?!?!?!"

Falcone is pulled through the sunroof.

Batman-"I'M BATMAN!!"

- - -

Bruce-"How do you know my name?"

Ducard-"The world is too small for someone like Bruce Wayne to disappear...No matter how deeply he chooses to ascend himself."

- - -

Bruce-"Gotham isnt beyond saving."

Year One:

Batman-"Ladies And Gentlemen....You have eaten well.You've eaten Gothams wealth.Its spirt.Your feast is nearly over.From this moment on,None of you are safe."

All-Star Batman & Robin:

Batman-"On your feet,soldier.You've just been drafted.Into a war."

 

[TheShadow]

Superman: I thought i was the boy scout

Batman: You were untill I met shazam

 

[Comic Book Boy]

This thread rocks!

 

[Phantasm]

Yes it does!

 

[Batman]

Random Quotes:

Batman(on Green Lantern's outfit): "Nintendo has a lot to answer for."

- - -

'She doesnt like you.' - Jim Gordon.
'Good. I'm not here to be liked.' - Batman.

- - -

"Dark...Meaningless...Oblivion..."-Martian Manhunter
"Sounds like my last Date."-Batman.

Dark Victory:

Gordon-"I dont know if I can protect you on this one."

Batman-"That isnt,and never was,nessacary."

Batman Begins:

'I seek the means to fight injustice. To turn fear on those who prey on the fearful.' - Bruce Wayne.

- - -

'They told me there was nothing out there... nothing to fear. But the night my parents were murdered I caught a glimpse of something. I've looked for it ever since... I went around the world... Searched in all the shadows. And there is something out there in the darkness... something terrifying... something that will not stop until it gets revenge... me!' - Bruce Wayne.

- - -

*Bats screech from above*
'What is that?' - Jim Gordon.
'Backup.' - Batman

- - -

'When you told me your grand plan for saving Gotham, the only thing that stopped me from calling the men in the white coats was when you told me it wasn't about thrill-seeking.' - Alfred.
'It's not.' - Bruce Wayne.
'Then what would you call that?' - Alfred.
*Alfred points at TV screen which shows police chasing the Batmobile on the news*
'Damn good television.' - Bruce Wayne.

- - -

'People need dramatic examples to shake them out of ampothy and I can't do that as Bruce Wayne. As a man I'm flesh and blood, I can be ignored, broken but as a symbol I can be incorruptable, I can be everlasting.' - Bruce Wayne.
'What symbol?' - Alfred.
'Something elemental, something terrifying.' - Bruce Wayne.

- - -

'Seems familiar. Don't you have anything new?' - Ra's Al Ghul.
'How about this?' - Batman.
*Batman uses his gauntlets to snap Ra's Al Ghul's sword in three parts*

- - -

'Seeing as you're taking on the underworld, I presume this symbol is a dual identity that you'll use to protect those you care about.' - Alfred.
'Your thinking about Rachel?' - Bruce.
'Actually sir... I was thinking of myself.' - Alfred.

JLU:

*Wonder Woman makes a baby Etrigan cry then burp.*
'There that's all he needed.' - Wonder Woman.
*Green Lantern smells the baby Etrigan's diaper*
'That's not all he needs.' - Green Lantern.
'Now that's a job for Superman.' - Batman.

- - -

'In some ways, it was fun to be a kid again.' - Wonder Woman.
'I haven't been a kid since I was eight years old.' - Batman.

- - -

'Batman, Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne, Batman, or have you already met.' - Future Batman.
'Not now!' - Batman and Future Bruce Wayne.
'Oh great, now it's in stereo.' - Future Batman.

- - -

'Wait you can't go out there. Things have changed since your time.' - Future Batman.
'Are criminals still idiotic and cowardly?' - Batman.
'Yep.' - Future Bruce Wayne.
'Good enough for me.' - Batman.

- - -

'Are you saying you'd sacrifice millions just because you don't like this guy?' - Hawkgirl.
'You don't know Darkseid like I do.' - Superman.
'We do know he used you, humiliated you, destroyed your will, wound you up like a toy and set you loose on Earth... cry me a river.' - Batman.

- - -

*Wonder Woman and Batman are attacked by a giant reptile creature. It bites and traps Batman in its mouth. Batman uses an exploding batarang and blows up its mouth. He land face down in mud, covered in the creatures saliva.*
'Are you ok?' - Wonder Woman.
'Peachy.' - Batman.

 

[The Question]

While it's not Batman saying it, I love these quotes:



The Joker: Doing? You're doing what any sane man in your apalling circumstances would do. You're going mad.

The Joker:Remember? Ohh, I wouldn't do that! Remembering's dangerous! I find the past such a worrying, ancious place. "The past tense" I suppose you'd call it! HA HA! Memory's so trecherous! One moment you're lost in a carnival of delights, with poigniant childhood aromas, the flashing neon of puberty, and all that sentimantal candy floss! The next, it leads you to somewhere you don't want to go. Somewhere dark and cold, filled with damp, ambiguous shapes of things you'd hoped were forgotten. Memories can be vile, repulsive little brutes. Like children I suppose. HAHA!!! But can we live without them? Memories are what our reason is based upon. If we can't face them, we deffy reason itself! Although, why not? We aren't contractually tied down to reality. There is no sanity clause. So when you find yourself on an unpleasent train of thought, leading to places in your past where the screaming is unbearable, remember, there's always madness. Madness is the emergensy exit! You can just step outside, and close the door on all thoes dreadful things that happened. You can lock them away. Forever.

The Joker: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!! You've read about them in the newspapers! Now shudder as you observe, befor your very eyes, that most rare and tragic of nature's mistakes! THE AVERAGE MAN!!!!! Physically unremarkable, it has instead deformed a set of values. Notice the hidiously bloated sense of humanity's importance. The clubfooted social consience and withered optimism. It's certainly not for the squemish, is it? But most repulsive of all are it's frail and useless notions of order and sanity. If too much weight is placed upon them, they snap! How does it live, I hear you ask? How does this poor, pathetic specimen survive in todays harsh and irrasional world? The sad answer is, "not very well". Faced with the inescapable fact that humanity's existance is mad random and pointless, one in eight of them crack up and go stark slavering buggo! But who can blame them? In a world as psychotic as this, any other response would be crazy!

 

[SSJshawn]

Question, those joker quotes are awesome..where are they from?

 

[The Question]

"The Killing Joke" by Alan Moore. Arguably the best story featuring The Joker ever written.