Batman Quotes: The Best of the Best

[DarkKnightJRK]

Batman: Haunted Knight

"He calls himself "Scarecrow." Psychologist turned psychopath. He preys on the innocent and instills them with fear.
"When I chose to wear my...costume, it was to prey on the CRIMINALS, and instill them with fear.
"The irony is not lost on me..."

Scarecrow: THAT way is a very nice way. It's pleasant down THIS way, too. Of course, people do go BOTH ways.

Bruce: Jim! Good of you to make it. Barbara having a good time?
Gordon: Yes, I suppose...thought I saw her playing pool with Harrison Ford.
Bruce: He's a delight.

Scarecrow: I know a man who had a dog. His dog told him to cut his family into pieces. Bark. Bark. Bark. Bark! BARK!

Jullian: Bruce. Were you ever bit by a dead bee?
Bruce: What? No. A dead be is a...dead bee.
Jullian: What about you, Mr. Pennyworth?
Alfred: Yes, Miss, it was quite painful, actually.
Jullian: What did you do?
Alfred: I bit him back.
Bruce: You...bit him back?
Jullian: You're all right, Alfred. I can see why Bruce keeps you around.
Alfred: Yes, Miss.
...
Bruce: What was all that about a dead bee?
Alfred: Miss Jullian apparently has an unique sense of humor--as well as a love for old film dialogue.

Alfred: Oh, good show, sir. For a moment, I was afraid you'd had a rational thought.

Scarecrow: See how they run. See how they run. She cut off their tails with a carving knife! Have you ever seen such a sight in your life?

Scarecrow: Little Miss Muffet...Little Jack Horner...The Three Little Kittens! Go. Goo. Goo. Gooosse.

Mad Hatter: tWiNkLe, TwinKLe, LiTtLe BAT! HoW i WoNdEr WhErE yOu'Re At! Up AbOvE tHe WoRld YoU fLy--LiKe A tEaTrAy In ThE sKy!

Mad Hatter: tHe QuEeN. OfF. oFf. OfF. ...wItH hIs HEAD!

Batman: Tetch. I'm willing to give you a chance.
Mad Hatter: tHe tImE hAs CoMe...
Batman: Yes...to talk...of many things...
Mad Hatter: oF sHoEs!
Batman: No. The children. The MISSING children.
Mad Hatter: --aNd ShIpS--
Batman: COOPERATE.
Mad Hatter: --aNd SeAliNg WaX!

"The demand was unnecessary. The singular solution is striking quickly. Relentlesly. Some would say...savagely. Innocent lives are at stake. Almost any means justifies the ends."

"As the protector of Gotham City's residents--justice must be blind. Expedient. And severe. I have learned that my decisions cannot be encumbered by one's personal indulgences."

Alfred: Did you lose your keys sir? Or did you merely wish to make certain I was awake at this hour?

Ivy: Kind of...abrupt, weren't you? He was only offering you an opportunity...
Batman: Lucius wouldn't have understood. No one could. I mad a PROMISE. To honor my parents. Somday to rid Gotham City of the crime that took their lives.
Ivy: Is THAT how your parents would have wanted you to honor them?
Batman: You wouldn't understand. No one could.
Ivy: So you've said...so you've said...

Joker: Ooo. Rough-housing. Missed me. Missed me. Now you gotta kiss me.

Joker: I mean, no point in beating a dead horse, Batty old boy. Unless, of course, you like the tast of horse meat.

Joker: Third floor. Everybody out. Garden supplies. Ladies' under-garments. And out Halloween showroom.

Joker: And they say CRIMINALS are a "superstitious, cowardly lot." heh.

 

[darkknightlife]

it was about movie quotes not the best movie duh and as far as the movie goes it wasnt that bad a batman fan would be thankful for a least another movie wb could made some other p.o.s. movie that year i mean get real

 

[Benstamania]

I don't know about anyone else, but I really think the first opening pages of Superman/Batman: P.E. is classic writing.

Superman: The dream always begins the same. My parents.....Jor-El and Lara El put me in the rocket as the planet Krypton breaks apart.

Batman: The Nightmare always begins the same. My parents.....Thomas and Martha Wayne take my hands as we leave the theater.

Superman: I can only imagine how difficult it was for them sending their only son into outer space....as their world died around them.

Batman: I can only imagine the fear that gripped them when the gunman stepped out of the shadows.....never knowing that these were their last moments alive.

Superman:I don't know what I actually remember or if it's just what I've pictured in my mind. The planet shattering around me, the colors, the brilliance of the Universe being delivered to me. My future out there in the great unknown.

Batman: I will never forget the sound of the gun firing. Tiny pieces of metal ripping through the only two people I ever loved. The blood, the acrid smell of gunpowder. My future going black before my eyes.

Superman: The rocket landed in a cornfield on Jonathan and Martha Kent's farm. This was Smallville, Kansas on the planet Earth.

Batman: My parents lay in the street, bleeding to death. It seemed like hours before anyone came to help. This was Park Row in Gotham City. They call it Crime Alley now.

Superman: Suddenly, in the dream, I can see myself -- older --as I watch Ma and Pa come into my life. At that moment, my childhood began.

Batman: Unexpectedly, in the nightmare, I can see myself --alone-- as I watch my Mother and Father leave me forever. At that moment, my childhood ended.

Superman: My parents tought me to side with justice, I came from another planet with powers and abilities far beyond those of other men. I'm known as a hero, an inspiration. It's been a good life.

Batman: My parents killer was never brought to justice. I cloak myself in the very shadows the gunman used to hide his face from me. I'm known as an urban myth, a frightening creature, the bogeyman. It is not a life I would wish on anyone.

 

[DarkKnightJRK]

Batman: Year One

Gordon: Gotham City. Maybe it's all I deserve now. Maybe it's just my time in hell.

Bruce: From here, it's clean shafts of concrete and snowy rooftops. From here, it looks like an achievement. I should have taken the train. I should be closer. I should see the enemy.

Gordon: I keep talking to myself. This time, I say, you'd better know your facts before you bring another cop down. Espically in public. Flass has had Green Geret training. I can tell. And he knows how to use his size. I witch and I don't do a dman thing and I memorize every move. For future reference.

Bruce: I'm not ready. I have the means, the skill--but not the method... No. That's not true. I have thousends of methods. But something's missing. Something isn't right. I have to wait. I have to wait.

Bruce: It's a twenty block walk to the enemy camp. It's been educational. I was sized up like a piece of meat by the leatherboys in Robinson Park. I waded through pleas and half-hearted threats from junkies at the Finger Memorial. I stepped across a field of human rubble that lay sleeping in fron of the overcrowded Sprang Mansion. Finally, the worst of it. The East End. Hard to believe it's gotten worse.

Selina: Shut up, Skunk. You know what I hate most about men, skunk? Never met one.

Bruce: Very good, Bruce. You've really put the fear of God into them.

Bruce: Fire--only take seconds to reach the gas tank. Sirens--more police--tank will go before they get here--these men--they probably have families--

Gordon: I don't crack his skull. I don't crush his larynx. I don't break his ribs or punch my hand through his chest. I do just enough--to keep him out of the hospital. I toss his gun into the woods. I should be rusty by morning. I take his clothes off and leave him in his own cuffs by the side of the road.
He'll never report it. Not Flass. He'll make up some story that involves at least ten attackers and never admit I did it. But he'll know. And he'll stay away from Barbara. Thanks, Flass. You've shown me what it takes to be a cop in Gotham City.

Bruce: Father...I'm afraid I may have to die tonight. I've tried to be patient. I've tried to wait. But I have to know. How, father? How do I do it? What do I use...to make them afraid? If I ring this bell, Alfred will come. He can stop the bleeding, in time. Another of your gifts to me, father. I have weath. The family manor rests above a huge cave that will be the perfect headquarters...even a butler with training in combat medicine. ...Yes, father. I have everything but patience. I'd rather die...than wait...another hour. I have waited...for eighteen years... ...Eighteen years since...since Zorro. The Mark of Zorro. Since the walk. That night. And the man with frightened, hollow eyes and a voice like glass being crushed... Since all sense left my life. Without warning it comes... ...Crashing through the window of your study...and mine... ...I have seen it before...somewhere...it frightened me as a boy. Frightened me... Yes, father. I shall become a bat.

Gordon: I take the ugly weight off my hip...I hold it up like a dead rat and prey that the man understands.

Blume: Spider nasty don't noise it-- No lunch. No lunch.
Gordon: I'll order out.

Gordon: Poor kids must have been scared out of their wits. Right. Like I wasn't.

Gordon: It kicks. Gunpowder burns my eyes and fills my nostrils. A wad of lead flies... If that were a man--the wad would shatter his spin and he'd feel his legs go dead even before his heart explodes.
Another kick.
The wad would leave a neat, round hold and I'd see the horror in his eyes as it pushed half his brain through the back of his skull.
I hate the gun. I hate my job. I keep practicing.
Another kick. Strong boy, little James...
...I pray he's very strong. And smart enough to stay alive. How could I let this happen? How did I screw up so badly...to bring an innocent child to life...in a city without hope...

Batman: Ladies. Gentlemen. You have eaten well. You've eaten Gotham's wealth. Its spirit. Your feast is nearly over. From this moment on, none of you are safe.

Batman: She knows how to walk in heels. So few women do these days. It's practically a lost art.
And she knows how to scream. You could hear it from the rooftops. Normally, screaming wouldn't help. Not in this neighborhood.
Here on the East End, a midnight walk constitutes attempted suicide. Luck for her that there are so many cops around.
There's Sargent Feck, playing wino...
And hunched in the sedan--Detectives Shelly and Lerner. There are more officers waiting, crouched in stoops and garbage dumpsters down the block.
Gordon't wasting a lot of manpower on these traps.

Guard: Sir--Your Rolls--it's gone--
Falcone: It was HIM. Said the Rolls is in the river. Even told me which pier. Thinks he's a damned Robin Hood. He DIES.

Batman: The slightest dose of anaconda on the darts--enough to put a man to sleep--for a day or so--Twelve men left--two darts--no good--One bullet--will make all the difference--they've got thousands.

Batman: You're the one--who tried to shoot the cat--

Gordon: The crowd is all screams and angry shouts. Then, I hear a wrecking ball take out the wall--and a hardware store clatter across the street.
A cheer goes up. They've made a hero out of him.
Then the cheering disintergrates...and the screaming starts again...

Gordon: She got into law enforcement after being told she was too masculine for aout six other careers.
Whoever told her she was masculine must've been blind, deaf, and dead.

Gordon: ...Gotham weather. Just when the rain seems to be clearing up lightning flashes.

Gordon: I hate this city. I hate myself and the night and everything it brings. Mostly, I hate it when she cries...
Another fight. We fight so much, Barbara and I. She tells me I'm away too much and just when I should apologize, I snap at her...I freeze up inside... Tonight, she called the office and I wasn't there--I was out having coffee with Sarah--
Sarah--my God, I'm calling her Sarah now...it's all wrong...and Barbara's right, as always...
...And right now I should be talking to her--begging her to forgive me for--
For the baby in her stomach and the way I'm thinking about Essen--that's right--call her Essen--forget how she felt--how her body and her lips felt.
Barbara...I should talk to her. I shouldn't be thinking--not about Sgt. Essen--
And not about Batman. He's a criminal. I'm a cop. It's that simple. But--
But I'm a cop in a city where the mayor and the commissioner of police use cops as hired kilers...
He saved that old woman. He saved that cat. He even paid for the suit.
The hunk of metal in my hands are heavier than ever...

Gordon: Her arms are strong. Her whole body's strong.
It's late, we've both worked late again.
I never get tired around her.
She's requested a transfer. She's leaving Gotham City.
I'm in love with her.
It's the only thing to do.

Batman: You can never ecape me. Bullets don't harm me. Nothing harms me. But I know pain. I know pain. Sometimes I share it. With someone like you.

Bruce: Excuse me. It must have be the champagne. I neglected to introduce my friend-- You see, I'm not sure of her name, and she doesn't speak any language I know...
Barbara: That must be convenient.

Gordon: He laughs and rings for his butler. His butler brings his datebook. I could auction off the phone numbers in his notebook for a fortune. They're all women. They're all famous. They're all beautiful.

Alfred: Master Bruce--I've come across a facinating piece in the times. Concerns the effects of lack of sleep among the marginally sane... ..."Marked increase in paranoia" ...hmm... ..."Tendecy towards aberrant, even violent behavior"...

Barbara: Don't--I'll kill you--
Bruce: Mrs. Gordon. You have to trust me. I won't let your boy die.

Gordon: You must be wearing some armor under that jacket.
Bruce: Yes.
Gordon: You know, I'm practically blind without my glasses. Sirens coming. You'd better go.

Gordon: As for me--well, there's a real panic on. Somebody's threatened to poison the GOtham reservoir. Calls himself The Joker. I've got a friend who might be able to help. Should be here any minute...

 

[titan101]

dark knight returns:

joker:im really...very DISSAPOINTED with you,my sweet...the moment was...perfect...and you...didn't have the NERVE...paralysis...really...just an ounce or two more...of PREASSURE...and...do i hear...SIRENS...?...yes...coming CLOSE...you won't get FAR...but then...it doesn't MATTER...if you DO...they'll KILL you for this...and they'll never KNOW...that you didn't have the NERVE...i'll..see you... in HELL...


bruce:I want you...to REMEMBER,clark...in all the YEARS to come...in your most PRIVATE moments...i want you to REMEMBER...my HAND...at your THROAT...i want... you to REMEMBER...the one man who BEAT you...

kid:you got to kick his-
batman:WATCH...watch your LANGUAGE,son...
kid:yes,sir...

 

[DarkKnightJRK]

Batman: Hush

"The boy is trembling. Not that much older than I when... He's probably just as terrified of me as he is of what's happening.
It makes me think about Clark and how he'd handle the situation. Not just the bending steel and flying out. Clark would smile. That Boy Scout thing. And then say something homespun to put the boy at ease.
But, the boy doesn't have Clark. He has me. In my city. Gotham City.
It is better that way."

"First, my body betrays me. Then, my city follows suit. We have both grown too old together..."

Thug: Well. Well. Well. Look what fell into Hell.

"She's better than she knows...but wasts too much energy proving it. So much like I was when I was starting out."

Oracle: The rest is up to you--
Alfred: Actually, no.
Oracle: What do you mean?!
Alfred: It is, as always...his fight to win...

"Wayne Manor. What was once my father's house is now mine. Along with all the memories it holds."

"Criminals, by nature, are a cowardly and superstitious lot. To instill fear into their hearts, I became a bat. A monster in the night. And in doing so, have I become the very thing that all monsters become... Alone...?"

Lois: Well so much for flirting with the "billionaire playboy" to find out what he's REALLY doing here. I hope I didn't make you TOO jealous, Mr. Kent.
Clark: As long as I'm the one going home with you Mrs. Kent, flirt away.
Lois: Still, the roses were a nice touch.
Clark: I think there's only one way we're going to find out what Bruce is up to...
Lois: Have fun being all tights and flights. And remember, despite how he behaves when he's...y'know--that you two are friends.
Clark: Right.

Batman: You know your part?
Catwoman: Your standard snatch and grab.
Batman: Any one of the three of them.
Catwoman: It'll be the gal. If we want to get a reaction from him, it HAS to be the gal.
Batman: You've studied him?
Catwoman: Trust me. I know the type.

"I don't believe in luck. But if I did...NOW would be a good time to start."

"If Clark wanted to, he could use his superspeed and squish me into the cement. But I know how he thinks. Even more than the Kryptonite, he has one big weakness. Deep down, Clark's essentially a good person...and deep down, I'm NOT."

"Come on, Clark. BE THE BOY SCOUT."

"Sometimes all the detective work in the world can't beat a super-dog with a keen sense of smell."

Superman: Catwoman. Was that REALLY necessary?
Batman/Catwoman: Yes.

"There was something about the Opera--how they often ended in TRAGEDY--that my father found appealing..."

Catwoman: Badly concieved. Badly acted. Badly staged. The audience actually wants their money back.

"In the insanity of this evening, the audience believes we are part of the show. The Opera."

Catwoman: Batman...
Batman: Lie still. You need medical attention.
Catwoman: I know that...come closer... If you ever choose to rescue...me again...over catching the bad guy...I swear, I'll scratch your eyes out.

"Dick. Dick Greyson. Nightwing. He explained to me once that The Joker and I are forever linked in constant battle. That, in some sick way, The Joker exists because of me. How I reperesent the order that is necessary to live in Gotham City and The Joker is the chaos that disrupts that order. ... I think about what Nightwing said. My being responsible for The Joker as years worth of rage courses through my fist. I cannot...I will not...accept any responsibillity...for The Joker."

The Joker: HELLLLLP! WILDMAN! MADMAN! BATTYMAN!

"There is NOTHING I can do to him that would cause him the agony that he has brought upon others. But I can come CLOSE."

Batman: How many more lives are we going to let him ruin?
Gordon: I don't care. I won't let him ruin yours.

Selina: Oh, please, not "O' Captain, My Captain"...
Leslie: Don't you know, Selina? It's one of Bruce's favorite pieces.
Selina: Remind me not to have him speak at MY funeral...

Batman: If detective work were easy--everyone would be doing it.
Nightwing: Was that...humor? No I AM worried about you.

Nightwing: Does she have to listen to everything?
Batman: You'd know better than I would.
Oracle: I HEARD THAT!

Nightwing: Look, this may be none of my damn business. And I know you think I'm against you going out with a former...known...theif, or whatever she is...was. Anyway, I'm not. Against it.
Bruce, I've known you too long. I came down to the cave expecting to find you draped in shadows. Cut off from everyone--including yourself. You lost an old friend. I get it. But--there's something different about you. Good different.
If she makes you happy--great. Except--every relationship you've ever had with a woman--either as Bruce or Batman--has gotten screwed up because you didn't tell her about your being...either Batman or Bruce.
My point is--TELL HER. Hell, you've known each other so long, she probably already knows.
Batman: You're right.
Nightwing: Really...?
Batman: It IS none of your damn business.

"The LexCorp Gulf Stream 5 has the same specifications as WayneTech's Air Glide 3. Lucius tells me that we'll be in court for years over patent infringement. Having knowledge of the inner workings of the air craft gives me the edge. It's one of the few times I'm grateful for the way LexCorp does business.

 

[The Demon's Head]

Batman Begins:

Bruce: Everyone, everybody. I would thank you all for coming here tonight
And drinking all of my booze.

Ra's: Rub your chest. Your arms will take care of themselves. You're Stronger than your father.
Bruce: You didn't know my father.
Ra's: But I know the rage that drives you. That impossible anger strangling the grife until the memory of your loved ones is just poisining your veins. One day you catch yourself wishing the person you loved had never existed, so you would be spared your pain. I wasn't always here in the mountains. Once I had a wife. my great love. She was taken from me. like you, I was forced to learn there are those without decency who must be fought without hesitation, without pity. Your anger gives you great power but if you let it It will destroy you as it almost did me.

Alfred: You're getting lost inside this monster of yours.
Bruce: I'm using this monster to help other people, just like my father did.
Alfred: For Thomas Wayne helping others wasn't about proving anything to Anyone. himself included.

Batman: What do you think?
Gordon: I think you're trying to help. but I've been wrong before.

Ra's: Only a cynical man would call what these people have lives, Wayne.
Crime, despair. This is not how man was supposed to live. The League of Shadows has been a check against human corruption for thousands of Years.
We sacked Rome. loaded trade ships with plauge rats. Burned London to the ground. Every time a civilization reaches the pinacle of its decadence We return to restore the balance.
Bruce: Gotham isn't beyond saving. Give me more time. there are good people here.
Ra's: You are defending a city so corrupt we have infiltrated every level of its infrastracture. When I found you in the jail you were lost but I believed in You. I took away your fear and I showed you a path. You were my greatest Student. it should be you standing by my side saving the world.
Bruce: I will be standing where I belong. between you and the people of Gotham.

Bruce: Why do you give a damn, Alfred? It's not your family.
Alfred: I give a damn because a good man made me ressponsible for the most important thing in the world to him.

Bruce: Wait for my signal.
Gordon: You're just one man?
Bruce: Now we're two.
Gordon: We?

Ra's: Well, Well. you took my advice about theatriciality a bit literally.
Batman: It ends here.
Ra's: For you and the police, maybe. My fate however lies with the rest of Gotham. Now If you'll excuse me, I have a city to destroy.
Batman: I can beat two of your pawns.
Ra's: As you wish.

 

[DarkKnightJRK]

Batman: Hush

"The boy is trembling. Not that much older than I when... He's probably just as terrified of me as he is of what's happening.
It makes me think about Clark and how he'd handle the situation. Not just the bending steel and flying out. Clark would smile. That Boy Scout thing. And then say something homespun to put the boy at ease.
But, the boy doesn't have Clark. He has me. In my city. Gotham City.
It is better that way."

"First, my body betrays me. Then, my city follows suit. We have both grown too old together..."

Thug: Well. Well. Well. Look what fell into Hell.

"She's better than she knows...but wasts too much energy proving it. So much like I was when I was starting out."

Oracle: The rest is up to you--
Alfred: Actually, no.
Oracle: What do you mean?!
Alfred: It is, as always...his fight to win...

"Wayne Manor. What was once my father's house is now mine. Along with all the memories it holds."

"Criminals, by nature, are a cowardly and superstitious lot. To instill fear into their hearts, I became a bat. A monster in the night. And in doing so, have I become the very thing that all monsters become... Alone...?"

Lois: Well so much for flirting with the "billionaire playboy" to find out what he's REALLY doing here. I hope I didn't make you TOO jealous, Mr. Kent.
Clark: As long as I'm the one going home with you Mrs. Kent, flirt away.
Lois: Still, the roses were a nice touch.
Clark: I think there's only one way we're going to find out what Bruce is up to...
Lois: Have fun being all tights and flights. And remember, despite how he behaves when he's...y'know--that you two are friends.
Clark: Right.

Batman: You know your part?
Catwoman: Your standard snatch and grab.
Batman: Any one of the three of them.
Catwoman: It'll be the gal. If we want to get a reaction from him, it HAS to be the gal.
Batman: You've studied him?
Catwoman: Trust me. I know the type.

"I don't believe in luck. But if I did...NOW would be a good time to start."

"If Clark wanted to, he could use his superspeed and squish me into the cement. But I know how he thinks. Even more than the Kryptonite, he has one big weakness. Deep down, Clark's essentially a good person...and deep down, I'm NOT."

"Come on, Clark. BE THE BOY SCOUT."

"Sometimes all the detective work in the world can't beat a super-dog with a keen sense of smell."

Superman: Catwoman. Was that REALLY necessary?
Batman/Catwoman: Yes.

"There was something about the Opera--how they often ended in TRAGEDY--that my father found appealing..."

Catwoman: Badly concieved. Badly acted. Badly staged. The audience actually wants their money back.

"In the insanity of this evening, the audience believes we are part of the show. The Opera."

Catwoman: Batman...
Batman: Lie still. You need medical attention.
Catwoman: I know that...come closer... If you ever choose to rescue...me again...over catching the bad guy...I swear, I'll scratch your eyes out.

"Dick. Dick Greyson. Nightwing. He explained to me once that The Joker and I are forever linked in constant battle. That, in some sick way, The Joker exists because of me. How I reperesent the order that is necessary to live in Gotham City and The Joker is the chaos that disrupts that order. ... I think about what Nightwing said. My being responsible for The Joker as years worth of rage courses through my fist. I cannot...I will not...accept any responsibillity...for The Joker."

The Joker: HELLLLLP! WILDMAN! MADMAN! BATTYMAN!

"There is NOTHING I can do to him that would cause him the agony that he has brought upon others. But I can come CLOSE."

Batman: How many more lives are we going to let him ruin?
Gordon: I don't care. I won't let him ruin yours.

Selina: Oh, please, not "O' Captain, My Captain"...
Leslie: Don't you know, Selina? It's one of Bruce's favorite pieces.
Selina: Remind me not to have him speak at MY funeral...

Batman: If detective work were easy--everyone would be doing it.
Nightwing: Was that...humor? No I AM worried about you.

Nightwing: Does she have to listen to everything?
Batman: You'd know better than I would.
Oracle: I HEARD THAT!

Nightwing: Look, this may be none of my damn business. And I know you think I'm against you going out with a former...known...theif, or whatever she is...was. Anyway, I'm not. Against it.
Bruce, I've known you too long. I came down to the cave expecting to find you draped in shadows. Cut off from everyone--including yourself. You lost an old friend. I get it. But--there's something different about you. Good different.
If she makes you happy--great. Except--every relationship you've ever had with a woman--either as Bruce or Batman--has gotten screwed up because you didn't tell her about your being...either Batman or Bruce.
My point is--TELL HER. Hell, you've known each other so long, she probably already knows.
Batman: You're right.
Nightwing: Really...?
Batman: It IS none of your damn business.

"The LexCorp Gulf Stream 5 has the same specifications as WayneTech's Air Glide 3. Lucius tells me that we'll be in court for years over patent infringement. Having knowledge of the inner workings of the air craft gives me the edge. It's one of the few times I'm grateful for the way LexCorp does business.

Continued:

Catwoman: I know you're awake. CATS can sense that sort of thing.
Talia: I can smell him on you. LOVERS can sense that sort of thing.

"Think like the enemy, and to do so...without becoming the enemy."

Talia: I told you recently there was something different about you. Now, I know why. You care for her, maybe...even love her. Your mysterious opponent knows this and will use that against you. Is she worth it?
Batman: ...Yes...

Batman: As soon as Alfred is done, there'll be work to do.
Alfred: Yes, because taking time for this to heal would be out of the question.
Catwoman: I bet you have to do this preety often...?
Batman: No.
Alfred: Constantly.

"I am NOT...nor will I ever be...most people."

"Dick saw being Robin as a THRILL. It's probably why he outgrew it. Jason saw being Robin as a game. It's probably what got him killed. But...Tim...I have to hand it to the boy... He wants to be the world's greatest detective. And from what I've seen so far...he WILL be someday."

Riddler: I USED to be a somebody in this town. Now, everybody has a gimmick. I was going to show them all. AND I DID.

Riddler: Riddle me this... Who is that under Batman's mask? And now the world is my oyster. Right, Bruce?
Batman: What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?
Riddler: What...?
Batman: What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?
Riddler: "Time to get a new fence." Everyone knows that one. It's worthless.
Batman: That's why I have nothing to fear from you. You HAD to tell Elliot--but no one else. Not even CLAYFACE when he was playing "Robin." I know you, EDWARD NYGMA. Maybe better than you know yourself. Riddles are your compulsion. Your addiction. And a RIDDLE THAT EVERYONE KNOWS the answer to is..."worthless."

Guard: What happened?
Batman: He fell.

Catwoman: Oh. So, it's over. If you wand me to say, "I love you..." Listen, I don't need to know if this started out as a spell. Forget about being a detective for once. We are what we are. THAT'S why it works. Maybe, someday, you'll come to TRUST that. Until then...

 

[Benstamania]

One of the FUNNIEST lines Batman ever said was in The Animated Series, the show "Almost Got 'im."


Batman as Croc: "And then I threw a rock at him!"

[Other rogues look unimpressed.]

Batman as Croc: [lamely] "Well......It was a big rock....."

 

[DarkKnightJRK]

One of the FUNNIEST lines Batman ever said was in The Animated Series, the show "Almost Got 'im."


Batman as Croc: "And then I threw a rock at him!"

[Other rogues look unimpressed.]

Batman as Croc: [lamely] "Well......It was a big rock....."

Hehehehe.

Though, I think the "Night of the Creeper" was funnier:

*After seeing Creeper get crushed by a big box*
Batman: We have to get him out!
Robin: Got a mop?

*Batman and Robin on a building, scouting*
Robin: Which way did they go?
*huge explosion in the background*
Batman: That way.



Also, the Jessie Jackson-esque' guy was hilarious, "If the Bat's on a spree, Wayne must pay the fee!"

 

[MaskedManJRK]

Batman: Black & White

"People think I'm a knight. A savior. But, in trugh, I'm only a vessel to hold thememories of those who've passed on. Those who've no shell left to store them.
"They must think I revel in my victories; it must seem like I never lose a fight.
"I lose plenty.
"The ones I couldn't get to. The ones I couldn't save in time. Those are the ones I carry around inside of me. Those are the ones I'll mourn forever.
"...You only have your thoughts and your dreams ahead of you. You're someone. You mean something. I'll remember. You're within me now.
"Forever."
-- Perpetual Mourning

"Mutants. Mising heiresses. Kid stuff. As if it took a lab and a mad scientist to make a monster. When all it takes--is a street."

"What's a BATMAN supposed to do with people like this? Compassionless...angry...kill you as soon as look at you. By all definations, monsters. Eleven years-old. Dear God...
"Should be running around with a rubber ball in his pockets. Instead, he packs a gun.
"How do they get so screwed up?"

"Get them young--give them 'family,' an attitude--and permission to kill--THAT is how you make a monster. No test tube required."
--Monster Maker

"No. That was too easy. No, Bruce. Listen. Listen.
"You can hear me. You can feel me. I flow with the blood in your veins, I am the thing that rides your spine in the gold hours. You can feel me, Bruce, try to feel me. And remember. Try to remember.
"When your eyes stared upon the helpless, the discraced, the humiliated victims of inhumanity... The shorrow, the pity, the disgust may have been yours...and the vengence...but the Justice was mine.
" ... I know you thought, Bruce, as you lay there these moments staring into the dead boy's eyes that could, or should, have been you those yars ago.
"But you didn't die then and you came to me. I needed you then, and Bruce, I need you now. I need you more than ever. Surely...you reconize me.
"You are with me--I am with you most every night. You know me by the should I make rushing--pounding through your veins. Listen.
"Listen... GOTHAM...GOTHAM... WE, Bruce...WE ARE THE BATMAN."
--Dead Boy's Eyes

"Dear Bruce,
"I have just left you sleeping in your bed...yet I clind to you still, if but in memory. The snow lies heavy against Wayne Manor. It is so very quiet.
"I hear you still, inside me. Your laugh.
"From the first moment I saw you, your joy has infected me. It has changed me. For you see, I was also born...that day when you arrived.
"I ran through the snow to find you, calm and waiting. Already, you were the teacher. And I was beginning to learn. Before you were born, I was a man convinced life was meant to be conquered. And I spent every minute of my life in pursuit of that. I was determined. I was determined to conquer every disease, vanquished every hatred, put a torch to every darkness. I was obsessed. As I hope you will never be. I want better for you.
"Today, we celebrated your third birthday. You have grown so much, my son. I remember you taking your first steps. Courageous. Fearless. Resourceful in the face of great odds.
"I think of the coming days...as I watch you grow to be a man. When I can speak to you of such things. The love of children. The need for balance. Disease will be conquered. And hate will be vanquished. What you have taught me, I will teach to you.
"There will always be a light to keep us from the dark.
"Your loving father,
"Thomas"
--Good Evening, Midnight

Batman: You've used me--or rather, the threat of me--as a monster, a bogeyman to control your own son. This is cruel and unfair to him. Kyle's bogeyman is not called Batman...he's called DADDY. ... Can you fell it?
Man: I...don't...yes! Yes!
Batman: Pure...absolute...TERROR?
Man: Please! I don't know...I don't know...Yes...yes...whatever you say...p-please...
Batman: I want you know one final thing... I'm not Kyle's bogeyman, you pathetic waste of skin...I'm YOURS.

"A blustery evening in Gotham...I said that there are two ways to go through this...the easy way...and the hard; Violent and non-violent...painful or not... I was wrong. Niave and simplistic...
"Blaming others for our ills is easy. Pulling a trigger is easy. Victimizing ourselves and others is easy... Our courts are clogged with those who see personal responsibility as the other guy's job.
"When it comes to real personal growth...facing our pain...our fears...our demons...there is only one way to go through it...
"The only way."
--Bent Twigs

 

[Hellstormer]

Not sure if I got these exact

Morgan Freeman- What exactley do you need this for?
Christian Bale- Spelunking.
-----------------------------
Freeman-So you like it?
Bale- Does it come in Black?
-----------------------------
Alfred- Why do we fall, sir? So that we might better learn to pick ourselves up.

 

[The BatDude]

batman movie (1989) quotes and i added some joker ones as well

The Joker: Bruce... Wayne, n'est-ce pas?
Bruce Wayne: Most of the time.

Mugger: Don't kill me, man - don't kill me!
Batman: I'm not going to kill you. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to tell all your friends about me.
Mugger: Who are you?!
Batman: I'm Batman.

Vicki Vale: I just gotta know, are we going to try to love each other?
Bruce Wayne: I'd like to. But he's out there right now, and I've gotta go to work

Vicki Vale: Some people think you're as dangerous as the Joker.
Batman: He's psychotic.
Vicki Vale: Some people say the same about you.

Batman: You killed my parents.
The Joker: What? What? What are you talking about?
Batman: I made you, you made me first.
The Joker: Give me a break. I was a kid when I killed your parents. When I say "I made you" you gotta say "you made me." How childish can you get?

The Joker: I have given a name to my pain, and it is Batman.

The Joker: Haven't you ever heard of the healing power of laughter?


Vicki Vale: You're insane
Joker: I thought I was a Pisces


Batman: What people?
Vicki Vale: Well, face it. You're not exactly normal, are you?
Batman: This isn't exactly a normal world, is it?

The Joker: Never rub another man's rhubarb

The Joker: Where does he get those wonderful toys?

The Joker: Gotham City. Always brings a smile to my face.

 

[MaskedManJRK]

The Joker: Bruce... Wayne, n'est-ce pas?
Bruce Wayne: Most of the time.

Does anyone know what Joker meant by the 'n'est-ce pas' bit?

Vicki Vale: I just gotta know, are we going to try to love each other?
Bruce Wayne: I'd like to. But he's out there right now, and I've gotta go to work.

I love that quote, fits Batman to a tee, in my opinion.

 

[The BatDude]

Does anyone know what Joker meant by the 'n'est-ce pas' bit?



I love that quote, fits Batman to a tee, in my opinion.

yeah it does fit batman

 

[The BatDude]

now its time for batman begins quotes

bruce: They told me there was nothing out there, nothing to fear. But the night my parents were murdered I caught a glimpse of something. I've looked for it ever since. I went around the world, searched in all the shadows. And there is something out there in the darkness, something terrifying, something that will not stop until it gets revenge... Me.

Bruce: I wanted to save Gotham... I've failed.
Alfred: Why do we fall master Wayne? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.
Bruce: You still haven't given up on me, have you?
Alfred: Never.

Alfred : Are you coming back to Gotham for long, sir?
Bruce : As long as it takes. I'm gonna show the people of Gotham that their city doesn't belong to the criminals and the corrupt.

Bruce: People need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy and I can't do that as Bruce Wayne, as a man I'm flesh and blood I can be ignored I can be destroyed but as a symbol, as a symbol I can be incorruptible, I can be everlasting.

Batman: It's not who I am underneath, but what I do, that defines me

Bruce: Why are you doing this?
Prison Guard: For protection!
Bruce: I don't need protection!
Prison Guard: Protection for them!

Batman: Nice.
Gordon: Couldn't find any mob bosses.
Batman: Well, Sergeant?
Gordon: Oh, it's lieutenant now. You really started something. Bent cops running scared. Hope on the streets.
Batman: But?
Gordon: The Narrows is lost. And we still haven't picked up Crane or half the inmates of Arkham that he freed.
Batman: We will. We can bring Gotham back.
Gordon: And what about escalation?
Batman: Escalation?
Gordon: We start carrying semi-automatics, they buy automatics. We start wearing Kevlar...they buy armor-piercing rounds.
Batman: And?
Gordon: And you're wearing a mask...and jumping off rooftops. Now, take this new guy. Armed robbery, double homicide. Got a taste for the theatrical...like you. Leaves a calling card.
Batman: I'll look into it.
Gordon: I never said thank you.
Batman: And you'll never have to.

Gordon: I gotta get me one of those

Bruce: My anger outweighs my guilt.

 

[The BatDude]

Does anyone know what Joker meant by the 'n'est-ce pas' bit?

i think i means a rhetorical question

 

[The BatDude]

Batman Returns qoutes

Catwomen: How could you? I'm a woman.
Batman: I'm sorry, I...
(hits Batman)
Catwoman: As I was saying, I'm a woman and can't be taken for granted. Life's a *****, now so am I.

Bruce: Security? Who let Vicki Vale into the Batcave? I'm sitting there working; I turn around, there she is. "Oh hi, Vick - come on in."

Gordon: Thanks for the saving the day, Batman. I'm afraid the circus gang is back.
Batman: We'll see.

Selina: It's gonna be a hot time in a cold town tonight.
Bruce: You've got sort of a dark side, don't you?
Selina: No darker than yours, Bruce.

Caywomen: You're catnip to a girl like me. Handsome, dazed, and to die for. Your the sencond man who killed me this week, but I've got 7 lives left.
Batman: I tried to save you.
Catwoman: Mmm seems like every woman you try to save winds up dead... or deeply resentful. Maybe it's time for you to retire.

Alfred: Why are you still up? Are you concerned about that strange, heroic Penguin person?
Batman: I think he knows who his parents are. There's something else.

Batman: Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.
Catwoman: A kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it.

Did somebody say fish? I haven't be fed all day!
Batman: Eat floor.
9throws catwoman down]0
Batman: High fiber.

You're not the mayor.
The Penguin: Things change.
Batman: What do you want?
The Penguin: Ah, the direct approach. I admire that from a man with a mask.
The Penguin: You don't really think you'll win, do you?
Batman: Things change.

Bruce: Merry Christmas, Alfred. Good will towards men... and women.

Catwoman: You're catnip to a girl like me. Handsome, dazed, and to die for. You're the second man who killed me this week, but I've got 7 lives left.
Batman: I tried to save you.
Catwoman: Mmm... seems like every woman you try to save winds up dead... or deeply resentful. Maybe it's time for you to retire.

Penguin: You're just jealous that I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask!
Batman: You might be right.

 

[MaskedManJRK]

Green Arrow: Quiver

SUPERMAN: What kind of masochist keeps track of the different kinds of pain they've--
BATMAN: Four-hundred and ninety-six, by my last count.

SUPERMAN: Don't you believe in redemption of any kind?
BATMAN: I believe in justice. Period.
SUPERMAN: I believe in second chances.
BATMAN: Then let's recruit Doomsday to bring back the sun.
SUPERMAN: I stand corrected, I have felt a chill in my bones before. Every time I try to reason with you.

WONDER WOMAN: How long have you been skulking around here?
BATMAN: Long enough to hear that none of you could get past your cartoonish, slack-jawed dumbfoundedness over the situation and secure any answers as to why a man who we all know is dead walks around articulating like a walking anachronism.
GREEN LANTERN: That is, by far, the most complex sentence I've heard anyone utter.
FLASH: Ten bucks says he's been hiding in the shadows for the last hour, just so he could come up with a put-down that classy.

SPOILER: With all due respect, Bats...anyone ever tell you you're a wierd guy?

SPOILER: ...You knock him out, X-ray every bone in his body, and give him multiple cat-scans. Or do we call 'em 'Bat-scans' down here?
BATMAN: And I thought Tim was chatty.

BATMAN: My point is...I tend to expect the unexpected.

GREEN ARROW: All I remember is meeting the Fascist League's Junior G-Man, and then someone sucker-punching me... HEY! IT WAS YOU, WASN'T IT?!
BATMAN: And people call me the detective.

GREEN ARROW: Can I at least ask WHY you were examining me in the first place? Where I'm from, a guy punches you and takes his clothes off, he's either hazing you or dating you!

GREEN ARROW: This beats the Arrow-Plane all to hell!
BATMAN: Arrow-Plane. Haven't heard that in ages. You retired it years ago, along with the Arrow-Car.
GREEN ARROW: What about the Arrow-Cave?
BATMAN: Good Lord, man--did you EVER have an original thought back then?

BATMAN: What was THAT?!
GREEN ARROW: Fire Extinguisher Arrow.
BATMAN: ...I will never...EVER...mock your trick arrows again.

GREEN ARROW: You've got some wierd friend, you know that?
BATMAN: Says my friend who died.

ARSENAL: I was worried how she'd feel, seeing him again. They didn't part very well, last time they saw each other. Guess that answers that.
BATMAN: Dinah's a complex woman. I wouldn't necessarily assume all's been copmletely forgiven just yet.
ARSENAL: You're a real romantic, you know that?

ARSENAL: Who is this guy Blood anyway?
BATMAN: An occultist, a mage of sorts.
*Batman sees an upside-down cross hanging on the wall*
BATMAN: And a man with a very sick sense of humor, apparently.

BLOOD/DEADMAN: Ollie's okay. Hal pulled him out of the mix before Etrigan had a chance to fry him.
BLACK CANARY: HAL?!?
BATMAN: Yes. It seems none of our departed ranks knows how to stay dead anymore.

ARSENAL: Classic Ollie... Man, I really hope I'm wrong. I mean, aren't most heroes BEYOND kid sidekicks at this point in their careers.
BLACK CANARY: Ahem...
(Arsenal looks at Batman.)
ARSENAL: Not...you know...that there's anything wrong with that... Oh boy.

ARSENAL: You've got to get off that kick about Ollie.
BLACK CANARY: Fine--YOU get off YOUR kick about him abandoning you!
BATMAN: Perhaps you should BOTH get off your respective "kicks" and appreciate the fact that the man's alive.
ARESNAL / BLACK CANARY: ...Yeah...

 

[Batman]

My god...I really,really need to find a copy of Quiver....

 

[MaskedManJRK]

My god...I really,really need to find a copy of Quiver....

Yes, yes you should. Kevin Smith's best writing ANYWHERE. Yes, I'm including the movies.

 

[Hellstormer]

Yes, yes you should. Kevin Smith's best writing ANYWHERE. Yes, I'm including the movies.

Ya Lunchbox is one of my personal favorites and Phil Hester's art isn't half bad either.

 

[nite-owl]

Batman: I've been so blind ... All this time. I thought the real Bruce Wayne was that happy child of memeory ... But now that everything has been stripped away from him, I realize that mask is not Bruce .... not at all. I am Bruce Wayne. I always have been.

 

[The BatDude]

Batman: I've been so blind ... All this time. I thought the real Bruce Wayne was that happy child of memeory ... But now that everything has been stripped away from him, I realize that mask is not Bruce .... not at all. I am Bruce Wayne. I always have been.

where is that from?

 

[MaskedManJRK]

where is that from?

Bruce Wayne: Fugitive, Volume 3.