Battle of Awesome!

[Shemtov]

Who would win?
An earth-crushing martial artist or a Batman?

 

[unstoppable]

Batman....it's always Batman

 

[JP]

I voted just to be different.

 

[Go Web Go!]

**** Batman, man.

 

[Alexia Dark]

Batman. The stuff people say about him is actually somewhat rooted in fact .

 

[Colossal Spoons]

Anybody BUT Batman

 

[Majic Walrus]

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

[knowsbleed]

Batman. The stuff people say about him is actually somewhat rooted in fact .

I'm with spoons.

 

[darkseid26]

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

[Wiseman]

Chuck Norris wins. He's so strong he doesn't need to hide his identity out of fear. And he fights real criminals, not birthday clowns and burn victims

 

[Morg]

Batman....it's always Batman

but he's not real so Chuck wins

 

[Arc-Light]

Bah Bruce Lee can take both of them..............

 

[Majic Walrus]

Bah Bruce Lee can take both of them..............

Godman, is that you in there?

 

[Prison Mike]

whoever wins...we lose

 

[Colossal Spoons]

I'm with spoons.

Good place to be

 

[The Spawn]

Chuck Norris > Everyone
Batman > Chuck Norris

Does that mean Batman = God?

 

[RKO]

Batman owns all.

 

[knowsbleed]

Chuck Norris > Everyone
Batman > Chuck Norris

Does that mean Batman = God?

That means you don't live in the real world.

 

[Carcharodon]

Batman. The stuff people say about him is actually somewhat rooted in fact .

He's a fictional character.

 

[The Spawn]

And the Chuck Norris everyone seems to know all of a sudden is fictional...the real answer to this question is:

Depends on who writing the story.

SO, I say, we do three word story and ALL of us be the writers of the battle that is about to ensue.

 

[Alexia Dark]

He's a fictional character.

And yet, still more believable than Chuck Norris.

 

[Drizzle]

He's a fictional character.

Must you be realistic about everything?

 

[The Spawn]

Batman responds to an alert from the JLA Watchtower on the Moon. Teleporting up, he finds his teammates are unconscious. Green Arrow's bow has been snapped. The Flash's kneecaps have been busted. Superman has a black eye. "Who could have done this?" the Batman wonders aloud.

Then he feels it. Someone is standing behind him!

"Tell you what, son," declared the voice. "You'd better know the truth of wrong from right!"

Batman drops down with a leg sweep, but the stranger is too quick. Catching a boot in his gut, Batman is sent flying through the air. He tried to fire his grappling hook but the tool is shot out of his hands. Batman hits the floor, then looks up. It's then that he sees his attacker: The Chuck Norris.

"Why?"

Norris tips his hat towards the Dark Night, "Just wanted to see how good y'all were. The answer: not very."

Anger shoots through Batman. Throwing himself at Chuck Norris, the two tussle in a battle of masters. At first it seems Batman might have the victory, but Norris trips his up with some Venusian Akido. Stumbling, Batman has no time to recover before his opponent whips out a fatal round-house kick to the back of his head.

Norris lands the killing blow... or tries to. For the first time ever, the hypothetical debates about the unstoppable force meeting the immovable object are realized in actuality. The mechanical underpinnings of the universe simply can't process Norris' boot heel striking Batman's face. Awesome can't beat Awesome because both are too Awesome. Reality shudders, then explodes in a flurry of badly Photoshopped effects and briefly glimpsed Elseworlds.

Batman and Chuck Norris find themselves tumbling through a void, locked in combat. Unchecked by a living universe, they struggle for an eternity and more. Both men's nigh-unlimited grit failing, each looks about for any possible advantage. Batman spots a shard of the universe passing through forever. He reaches out, grabs it, and smashes the shard into Norris' face. While no stranger to sharp edges, Chuck Norris is overwhelmed by the vision confronting him: scenes from his 1986 movie "Firewalker".

Norris howls, "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

The strain is too much for the Texas Ranger. His terror ripples through the void that was once the universe, drawing the shattered fragments of that reality inwards. Norris' defeat resolves the standing intellectual conundrum, rebooting the universe. Everything returns to normal, expect there'll be a new Hawkman. Or three.

Batman finds himself back at the Watchtower. Norris, absorbed into the healing fabric of reality, is no more. The rest of the JLA is up and about, unaware of what has transpired. His great challenger defeated, the Dark Knight will sleep a little easier from now on. Not that he needs to sleep. He's the goddamn Batman.

 

[The Spawn]

Batman cannot possibly defeat Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is mightier than God himself. In fact, when God said "let there be light," Chuck Norris made him say please.





































































Editor's Note: God then revealed himself to be Batman and crushed Chuck Norris' head.

 

[Matt]

Neither. Jack Bauer would show up and beat both of them.