Y'know...I write reviews that are at
least as lengthy as Dread's, I'm reasonably certain I hate Bendis and his Avengers books far more than he does,
and I overanalyze everything about everything. And yet week after week in these threads we must always,
always have a page or two reserved for the btch-at-Dread crowd, while usually I can expect little more than a lighthearted "lulz u shor do rite long revewz" in response. In light of that I can't help but wonder, just a bit...is all this targeting and stirring sht up actually,
honestly a result of having things to whine about against Dread's reviews, or are we just poking him with a stick 'cause it's the in thing to do or what?
I'm not exactly saying that I care, I'm just saying that I'm saying.
Oh, and I'm a little saying that I care.
With that said...my reviews for Mighty Avengers, Ultimates, ASBARTBW, and Flash will all have to wait since I was running late to a showing of 28 Weeks Later and didn't have time to read them in the store

. I know, I know, you're all so very sad and you just can't wait, and for that I apologize. If it makes y'all feel any better, I was sht-faced drunk off my arse for good reason and it possibly wouldn't have been a great idea to read those particular books right then in that particular mindset

.
Countdown #50
After having read a bloody thirteen-page preview of this which is really my own fault and something that I resolve never to do again, I was hoping that the remaining dozen or so pages has some bigass beyond-the-charts awesomeness, 'cause those thirteen just seemed to suck the steam right out of this series for me after a pretty solid first issue. No such luck. Bad signs abound...we're merely in the second week and already in murky waters.
Mary's story is okay so far, but I hope she gets a more distinct personality, stat. Right now you could switch her for another character entirely and it wouldn't make a lick of difference to her dialogue. And I realize this is out of the hands of the Countdown writers, but I'm really wondering why -- if she needed answers about her powers -- she doesn't just yell for Billy. Or, on that note, why Billy is ignoring her.
Karate Kid sequence is too long,
far too long; we could have cut the first three pages, or at the least the first two and a half, and gotten the point across perfectly fine. Hell,
Brad Meltzer's script of the same exact event seems positively breezy compared to this, and we're talking Brad frakkin' Meltzer who needed seven issues to form a team comprised of members who already knew each other. And yes, I did like that JLA story. It's still a valid point. I realize that Karate Kid's going to be an important part of this obviously multiverse-centric series, but come on. The scene's been seen before, and just recently; did y'all honestly think it would be a good idea to waste time on it, or are we just filling the page-quota for lack of anything better to write?
As I said otherwhere, Jimmy knowing about Jason Todd could be explained with reasonable efficiency and is ultimately not that big a deal. Jimmy knowing about Dick Grayson makes no goddamn sense and must needs retcon punching
now. I do really like his conversation with the Joker, though. I don't really...understand why this particular scene needed to be here, but maybe the next issue will make it clearer.
Another storyline that I'm liking is the Rogues'. They were always a bit of the more relatable, blue-collared type characters than other mad-scientisty despot villains, and I'm looking forward to seeing what comes of their story and how it will depict the villains' world in the DCU, which has always been one of the DCU's strong points. I like that the hardcore rogues are doubting Piper and Trickster's allegiance so much; for pete's sake, Piper's had dinner with the Flash's wife. I was afraid that this series would just turn him into a villain again without any explanation for the sake of a plotline -- it's happened to characters before, and it'll happen again -- but thankfully that seems not to be the case here.
(6.8 out of 10)
X-Factor #19
Peter David's best and worst attributes both come out in this issue. His best attributes, of course, being his flawless sense of dialogue and character which have often been the only things keeping me on this book in lieu of a plotline --
any plotline -- that I cared about. Ironically enough, that in particular is not a problem here; the plot (certain ex-mutants are pissed about M-Day and are doing something about it) is just fine, and a whole lot more understandable and interesting than the Singularity tomfoolery of yesteryear.
The problem, and one I've sometimes seen in his other books like Aquaman (which sucked

...) and Supergirl (which rocked

!), is his filling the hell out of issues and storylines with bizarre...or rather "colorful" D-list nobodies that we're supposed to know and care about or something. And maybe if he took some time to let us get to know them, we
would care. But he doesn't. I see Marrow and Blob here, okay, I know those two because I play video games...and then there's Callisto, some chick with a blue gun, a guy with robot tentacles, and -- as far as I can tell -- a death clown with reverse-Guyver-arms.
And, yes, these guys have the most awesome dialogue ("My most
heartfelt apologies for not really
giving a crap.") but simply because they're so random and nameless, I too am having a hard time giving a crap. No matter how much the plot moves along (and it does, logically if not rapidly), this just feels in a lot of ways like an issue wasted.
(6.6 out of 10)
Justice League of America #9
...I am so confused.
I like the writing, I mostly like the interactions, I with my vast and completely useless font of DC trivia managed to recognize every character and every villain and every locale that they visit...but I am so confused.
They grab Timberwolf who's in Gorilla City, okay fine. Then there's Dawnstar (who manages to have a costume that screams "SEX ME!!!!" even louder than Power Girl's) who's on Thanagar for some reason...except that she's not and she only left her ring there...with a girl who's...in love with her? And then all the Legionnaires get drawn to the same place and they...are going to commit suicide to bring...someone back. From someplace.
...Alrighty then. Y'know, if this "someone" doesn't end up being Superboy which is a wild guess I'm pulling completely and painfully out of my ass, I'm pretty nearly going to consider this whole thing time well wasted.
It's just that this is a big ol' JLA/JSA crossover, both teams are just starting out, and...I guess I had hoped that the story would be a bit less abstract and a bit more...blockbuster?...than almost twenty people hopping around places chasing things and everything's a big ol' mystery which doesn't make a whole lot of sense since we're not being given a whole lot of info.
Don't get me wrong, there are things to like here. The characterizations are great; Vixen's excitement in Gorilla City is particularly cool even though no cheetah in the world should be able to keep up with Jay Garrick, much less scout things before GL manages to finish a sentence. Roy's being a bit/lot denser than in previous issues, possibly on purpose...
Power Girl: "
Stop. Trying. To have sex. With her."
Roy: "
Durr...what are you talking about? No speako your languagey."
...but then that's probably closer to how Roy has traditionally behaved (re: with his penis) than the first JLA arc Meltzer wrote.
I am still looking forward to the next JSA issue. Geoff Johns is notably a lot better at being able to explain these complicated, multiversal time-travel stories more coherently than almost any other writer these days, and I'm hoping that he'll shed some more light here.
(7.2 out of 10)
Checkmate #14
The greatest thing about Boomer accidentally leaking vital info regarding Waller's Suicide Squad during 52 is that it came as a total surprise. I'd completely forgotten about Boomer having been a part of that, and why Waller would be pretty damn checkmated (LULZ) if her involvement ever became known. These two teams seemingly have little to do each other actually have pretty vital things to do with each other; it's those little touches, teases, contributions to continuity that are completely casual and natural which make this book so lusted by me.
Actually, for all my adulations of this title, I did find Nightwing and Sasha's convo regarding Batman to be a bit/lot...juvenile. Well, not juvenile exactly, but cliche. Reminiscing about Bruce is a nice thing for these two incredibly different characters to be sharing, which is exactly why it should go a bit farther than "Ah yes, you were Robin. You made him laugh. I didn't. Different times. Yes." Um...good?
Katana's dialogue to Vertigo? Good times. Also, Tommy's gay. Y'know, to think that it was merely two years ago that I was ranting about the fact that in
all of both DC and Marvel's major mainstream teams -- X-Men, Avengers, JLA, JSA, Titans, FF, etc etc -- there was only
one team out of both universes who had gay characters; the Young Avengers. One single team. To see how far we've come along in just two yea...
...wait, actually, Checkmate isn't a mainstream team at all. Neither are the Runaways or the Outsiders, and Obsidian has yet to appear in JSA in any practical capacity whatsoever...so I guess we really
haven't come along very far. Huh. How 'bout that. Oh well, this book is still great.
(8.3 out of 10)