PhotoJones
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What's with you projecting vaginas all the time? 
BOUGHT/THOUGHT for September 19, 2007
- Thread starter PhotoJones
- Start date
TheCorpulent1
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There's no projection necessary here, dude:
PhotoJones
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Wow. No there isn't. Damn.
TheCorpulent1
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That's what I said!
PhotoJones
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What the hell, man. That's just blatant.
fifthfiend
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I'm not so much thrown by it being a vagina as it being a vagina with teeth.
I mean, dang.
I mean, dang.
PhotoJones
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I find myself looking at my girlfriend differently now. 
TheCorpulent1
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You're so checking for teeth tonight, aren't you? 
PhotoJones
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Yes.
PhotoJones
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I'll teach you about foreplay sometime, Trop. 
BrianWilly
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Countdown #32
It took us a total of twenty issues to even put Mary Marvel in the same room as Eclipso. Twenty issues. Twenty issues for something to happen that they told us was going to happen from day one. Why in the hell does Klarion want Mary's powers? Last I checked, he was ruling the Sheeda. Add him to the list of characters that Countdown has screwed up, I suppose.
Things keep happening in this series and they appear to just be happening because things have to happen. Cadmus agents want to study Jimmy, and apparently they needed a fcking car chase to do it. Why couldn't they just ask him, you ask? Well, the explanation that they give is that they want to put Jimmy's life in danger so his powers will activate, which is so damn cuckolded that you just want to throw up your hands and vomit freely. To paraphrase Paul O'Brien, the minute we part company with anything recognizable as human psychology is the minute I lose interest altogether.
Which brings us to Piper and Trickster. I keep thinking that Piper and Trickster's story could be the bestest thing ever if it were happening anywhere else except here. Instead, we have two people just acting and behaving in ways that we recognize as action and behavior, but without a single shred of anything resembling logic or foresight or explanation. Trickster is a fcktard. Piper is not quite a fcktard, but nonetheless seems incapable of making any decisions that aren't fcktarded. It all might work, perhaps, as a comedy series, except that that's not nearly what we have here. Countdown has neither the tone, the circumstances, nor the timing for a comedy series. So we wind up with two fcktards doing fcktarded things on a weekly basis.
I do have to give giant, giant, giant shoutout though to the fact that whoever writing the Cadmus portion of the series remembered to put Serling and Dubbilex from Superboy's old supporting cast into the mix. Normally I'd rather any characters with any worth at all to run screaming in the opposite direction than to be exposed to this Countdown stuff, but...nostalgia gets me every time. Of course, I always thought Serling felt really out of place in that old Superboy book and Dubbilex was pretty much J'onn J'onnz: The Remix, but hey like I said; nostalgia.
(4.2 out of 10)
World War Hulk #4
I got as far as the page where Hulk beats Strange by punching him really hard, then I put the book back on the shelf. About half a minute later, I picked it up again and skimmed through the remaining pages just to make sure it wasn't just someone's idea of a bad joke. Then I put it back.
Yeah, no. Have fun with the remaining issue and a half of this event, you all.
(3.4 out of 10)
Countdown to Mystery #1
This is...good.
This is really good. Borderline great, though not quite.
Do you realize how scary it is that I think that? I thought this was going to be the worst thing of forever. And then it goes and...is good. I need to get over this twitchy fear of anything related to Countdown; a lot of tie-ins at this point have been tolerable/good instead of outright bad.
In the Doctor Fate portion of the story, we meet the new Dr. Fate, who is...Kent Nelson. But a different one. I don't really get why they felt the need to name him after the original Fate; let's be frank, he's not the sort of A-list or even B-list hero whose original identity is so ingrained in peoples' thoughts that his old name is gonna be recognizable to anyone. They could have named him Kent Nelson or they could have named him Mark Mabooble and it wouldn't have made a lick of difference. As it is, it even comes off a bit chintzy, a bit too desperately nostalgic. And you never want to be desperately nostalgic; you just want to be nostalgic, not desperately so.
None of which has anything bearing whatsoever on his actual story which, as I said, is quite good. Now, if you're as jaded as I am, you're gonna notice immediately that his origin is kinda similar to Dr. Strange's. Not a copy per se, but similar. This could be a point of annoyance, but then again, I like Dr. Strange's origin so...I'm not annoyed. In any case, the whole "flawed hero" persona really comes into play here, makes for a fascinating inner monologue, and I'm looking forward to how it plays out. Kent here has the opportunity to become a really cool magic hero leading-man type, a kind of character that the DCU has but never uses.
Of course, it may just be that I simply have an unquenchable obsession with legacy heroes who all of a sudden receive magical weapons/objects in alleyways.
Meanwhile, in the Eclipso portion of the story, we catch up with the Spectre; specifically, Spectre and Crispus Allen. The last we saw them was in Tales of the Unexpected, which started interesting and unfortunately become a bit of a disappointment (with their portion, not Dr. Thirteen's, which was an epic win), so let's hope that doesn't happen here. They get some nice exchanges here, along with an unexpected sidekick. We really see interesting status quo between Cris and the Spectre that Will Pfeifer (of all people) set up way back in their first mini, and it's utilized for good effect. "Tales" didn't really explore it at all, and ended up the worser for it.
Eclipso shows up and starts to manipulate Plastic Man. I'm a bit worried for Plas, here; I can't see this ending in any remotely positive way for him, and he's one of the few utterly comedic bright spots of the DCU still left. But I'm willing to see what happens, here. Darkseid also makes a surprise appearance, and once again I fear the Countdown connections, but nothing seems off so far. He claims to be the one who created Eclipso in the first place, which is either a lie or a giant retcon, albeit a workable one. Regardless, the narrative is intriguing and the dialogue and characterizations are all solid. If you're getting sick of Eclipso being turned into a two-bit joke stock villain in Countdown, this may be the place to look.
(4.2 out of 5 for the Fate story)
(3.6 out of 5 for the Eclipso story)
(7.8 out of 10)
Captain America #30
HOLY ZOMG SHT!
(8.8 out of 10)
Green Arrow/Black Canary Wedding Special
Sigh.
Right off the bat, the art does not help matters. Not even remotely the right kind of style for this. Bad enough to see Dinah's infamous "hanging from the rafters" moment presented a la Saturday morning cartoons, worse that the two then start tearing off their clothes and oh my Buffy I didn't need to see that.
Winick has no one to blame but himself (okay, fine, he can blame Johns and Beechen a bit) that Deathstroke is a fcking horrible, laughable character now and his very inclusion here is a thing of utter trash. Can someone name to me the last time Deathstroke had an appearance where he didn't just throw around some ridiculously pretentious monologuing and then run away gloating at the at the first sight of actual trouble? I swear to Buddha, "run away gloating" is his real superpower.
Most of the issue is tolerable enough. The page filled with panels of people reacting to the wedding was a genuinely funny moment, possibly because it was the one moment where the art didn't feel riduckulously out of place. I still do agree with the majority stating the Winick does not understand Dinah nearly well enough to be writing her, much less a series based on her; the fact that she spends most of the issue tripping out like a PMS-ridden Shamazon is evidence enough, but the wedding itself goes off about as well as you might expect. It is cute, at times.
And then we get to that ending. God fck it. Look, I see exactly what they're trying to do here. And it's going to work. But boy do I still hate them for doing it. It's cheap. It's so cheap and such a copout. And I'll be following along because it's the kind of cheap copout that begs and pleads on all fours for a resolution.
(5.9 out of 10)
Quasar #4
Rampant lesbian bestiality! I'm sure Moondragon will get turned back to her old lesbian self sooner or later, maybe even in the next issue, but for now it was a pretty cool idea. And we get some blatant classic knight/dragon imagery, with lesbians, which was clever. The art on this lesbian book is really worth the admission price, and I don't say that about a lot of books lesbian. One issue to go, and I lesbian hope the payoff is worth it for whoever the hell this "savior" is; I hoped that they wouldn't keep us in suspense until the very last page of the very last book, but it looks like that's exactly what they're doing.
(8.3 out of 10)
Tales of the Sinestro Corps #1: Parallax
At once I'm reminded of Search for Ray Palmer; Marz is being handed an assfull of poop and asked to make gold with it. And he tries. And miraculously, he does achieve quite a bit with what little he's given. But it still doesn't change the fact that he was given a crappy situation. The situation is that Kyle is down in the dumps and Marz has to make that interesting and true to Kyle's character, and yet he can't take Kyle out of the dumps because the story has to go on. It's not a very enviable position, but Marz does what he can with it, which is admirable.
Marz is a great writer for Kyle, as we all knew he was; he is straightforward and uncomplicated, and Kyle is straightforward and uncomplicated. Straightforward and uncomplicated is where both of them shine, and it's when you throw in layers upon layers of pathos and melodrama and subtext that both character and creator get weighted down. The problem here, of course, is that there is still a lot of pathos and melodrama and subtext here in this issue. And, unsurprisingly, both creator and character get weighted down. I know that this experience is not going to destroy Kyle as a character -- it would take a lot more than this to do that -- but I really still can't wait for this nonsense to be over so he can get back to having good stories again.
Meanwhile, props to Marz for remembering what Johns either forgot or never knew or just ignored, that Kyle has fought "Parallax" many times before in the past and kicked its ass up and down the street. He would remember, considering that he wrote several of those instances himself.
(7 out of 10)
Flash #232
It's cute, if nothing else. Charming. Which of course is what Waid is going for, and it works. Nothing really too spectacular happens, which is odd, and I'm not sure what the heck the point of the vagina monsters are, 'cause for now they're kinda in Generic Alien Monster territory. Other than that it's a solid issue.
(8 out of 10)
Checkmate #18
Well, Khalid didn't end up being J'onn, but that's okay 'cause we may well be getting the next best thing. Really looking forward to seeing him work with Fire; anything to draw him out of his newfound (but rapidly dimishing) emoness is A Good Idea, and association with prior JLIers is sure to be one of those things.
This book seems to share a lot of continuity with Birds of Prey, at least from Simone's leftovers, which is interesting as well as productive. Sasha's scene with Oracle was wonderfully-written, with just a tiny dash of lesbian.
This series has sort of been leading up to the fall of the Wall right from the getgo, and it's kinda appropriate that Rucka is finishing off his solo-writing on this with this arc. I greatly fear the upcoming co-writer, but I guess I'm okay with it so long as Rucka is still the other co-writer.
(8.4 out of 10)
Birds of Prey #110
Pretty good standalone featuring Huntress on a solo mission. With a school bus. Crashing a school bus. Hijinks ensue.
I'm a fan of using a superhero's civilian skills as an advantage in their superhero job. Whenever Flash shows mechanical aptitude, I'm all over it. Whenever Superman applies his journalistic instincts, I get a stiffy. You absolutely needed to know that.
So when Huntress applies her career as a teacher for use in the field (and says as much), it doesn't come off cheesy or awkward to me. It comes off effective and as if writers actually know the characters they're writing or something. I know, I know, crazy right?
(7.9 out of 10)
It took us a total of twenty issues to even put Mary Marvel in the same room as Eclipso. Twenty issues. Twenty issues for something to happen that they told us was going to happen from day one. Why in the hell does Klarion want Mary's powers? Last I checked, he was ruling the Sheeda. Add him to the list of characters that Countdown has screwed up, I suppose.
Things keep happening in this series and they appear to just be happening because things have to happen. Cadmus agents want to study Jimmy, and apparently they needed a fcking car chase to do it. Why couldn't they just ask him, you ask? Well, the explanation that they give is that they want to put Jimmy's life in danger so his powers will activate, which is so damn cuckolded that you just want to throw up your hands and vomit freely. To paraphrase Paul O'Brien, the minute we part company with anything recognizable as human psychology is the minute I lose interest altogether.
Which brings us to Piper and Trickster. I keep thinking that Piper and Trickster's story could be the bestest thing ever if it were happening anywhere else except here. Instead, we have two people just acting and behaving in ways that we recognize as action and behavior, but without a single shred of anything resembling logic or foresight or explanation. Trickster is a fcktard. Piper is not quite a fcktard, but nonetheless seems incapable of making any decisions that aren't fcktarded. It all might work, perhaps, as a comedy series, except that that's not nearly what we have here. Countdown has neither the tone, the circumstances, nor the timing for a comedy series. So we wind up with two fcktards doing fcktarded things on a weekly basis.
I do have to give giant, giant, giant shoutout though to the fact that whoever writing the Cadmus portion of the series remembered to put Serling and Dubbilex from Superboy's old supporting cast into the mix. Normally I'd rather any characters with any worth at all to run screaming in the opposite direction than to be exposed to this Countdown stuff, but...nostalgia gets me every time. Of course, I always thought Serling felt really out of place in that old Superboy book and Dubbilex was pretty much J'onn J'onnz: The Remix, but hey like I said; nostalgia.
(4.2 out of 10)
World War Hulk #4
I got as far as the page where Hulk beats Strange by punching him really hard, then I put the book back on the shelf. About half a minute later, I picked it up again and skimmed through the remaining pages just to make sure it wasn't just someone's idea of a bad joke. Then I put it back.
Yeah, no. Have fun with the remaining issue and a half of this event, you all.
(3.4 out of 10)
Countdown to Mystery #1
This is...good.
This is really good. Borderline great, though not quite.
Do you realize how scary it is that I think that? I thought this was going to be the worst thing of forever. And then it goes and...is good. I need to get over this twitchy fear of anything related to Countdown; a lot of tie-ins at this point have been tolerable/good instead of outright bad.
In the Doctor Fate portion of the story, we meet the new Dr. Fate, who is...Kent Nelson. But a different one. I don't really get why they felt the need to name him after the original Fate; let's be frank, he's not the sort of A-list or even B-list hero whose original identity is so ingrained in peoples' thoughts that his old name is gonna be recognizable to anyone. They could have named him Kent Nelson or they could have named him Mark Mabooble and it wouldn't have made a lick of difference. As it is, it even comes off a bit chintzy, a bit too desperately nostalgic. And you never want to be desperately nostalgic; you just want to be nostalgic, not desperately so.
None of which has anything bearing whatsoever on his actual story which, as I said, is quite good. Now, if you're as jaded as I am, you're gonna notice immediately that his origin is kinda similar to Dr. Strange's. Not a copy per se, but similar. This could be a point of annoyance, but then again, I like Dr. Strange's origin so...I'm not annoyed. In any case, the whole "flawed hero" persona really comes into play here, makes for a fascinating inner monologue, and I'm looking forward to how it plays out. Kent here has the opportunity to become a really cool magic hero leading-man type, a kind of character that the DCU has but never uses.
Of course, it may just be that I simply have an unquenchable obsession with legacy heroes who all of a sudden receive magical weapons/objects in alleyways.
Meanwhile, in the Eclipso portion of the story, we catch up with the Spectre; specifically, Spectre and Crispus Allen. The last we saw them was in Tales of the Unexpected, which started interesting and unfortunately become a bit of a disappointment (with their portion, not Dr. Thirteen's, which was an epic win), so let's hope that doesn't happen here. They get some nice exchanges here, along with an unexpected sidekick. We really see interesting status quo between Cris and the Spectre that Will Pfeifer (of all people) set up way back in their first mini, and it's utilized for good effect. "Tales" didn't really explore it at all, and ended up the worser for it.
Eclipso shows up and starts to manipulate Plastic Man. I'm a bit worried for Plas, here; I can't see this ending in any remotely positive way for him, and he's one of the few utterly comedic bright spots of the DCU still left. But I'm willing to see what happens, here. Darkseid also makes a surprise appearance, and once again I fear the Countdown connections, but nothing seems off so far. He claims to be the one who created Eclipso in the first place, which is either a lie or a giant retcon, albeit a workable one. Regardless, the narrative is intriguing and the dialogue and characterizations are all solid. If you're getting sick of Eclipso being turned into a two-bit joke stock villain in Countdown, this may be the place to look.
(4.2 out of 5 for the Fate story)
(3.6 out of 5 for the Eclipso story)
(7.8 out of 10)
Captain America #30
HOLY ZOMG SHT!
(8.8 out of 10)
Green Arrow/Black Canary Wedding Special
Sigh.
Right off the bat, the art does not help matters. Not even remotely the right kind of style for this. Bad enough to see Dinah's infamous "hanging from the rafters" moment presented a la Saturday morning cartoons, worse that the two then start tearing off their clothes and oh my Buffy I didn't need to see that.
Winick has no one to blame but himself (okay, fine, he can blame Johns and Beechen a bit) that Deathstroke is a fcking horrible, laughable character now and his very inclusion here is a thing of utter trash. Can someone name to me the last time Deathstroke had an appearance where he didn't just throw around some ridiculously pretentious monologuing and then run away gloating at the at the first sight of actual trouble? I swear to Buddha, "run away gloating" is his real superpower.
Most of the issue is tolerable enough. The page filled with panels of people reacting to the wedding was a genuinely funny moment, possibly because it was the one moment where the art didn't feel riduckulously out of place. I still do agree with the majority stating the Winick does not understand Dinah nearly well enough to be writing her, much less a series based on her; the fact that she spends most of the issue tripping out like a PMS-ridden Shamazon is evidence enough, but the wedding itself goes off about as well as you might expect. It is cute, at times.
And then we get to that ending. God fck it. Look, I see exactly what they're trying to do here. And it's going to work. But boy do I still hate them for doing it. It's cheap. It's so cheap and such a copout. And I'll be following along because it's the kind of cheap copout that begs and pleads on all fours for a resolution.
(5.9 out of 10)
Quasar #4
Rampant lesbian bestiality! I'm sure Moondragon will get turned back to her old lesbian self sooner or later, maybe even in the next issue, but for now it was a pretty cool idea. And we get some blatant classic knight/dragon imagery, with lesbians, which was clever. The art on this lesbian book is really worth the admission price, and I don't say that about a lot of books lesbian. One issue to go, and I lesbian hope the payoff is worth it for whoever the hell this "savior" is; I hoped that they wouldn't keep us in suspense until the very last page of the very last book, but it looks like that's exactly what they're doing.
(8.3 out of 10)
Tales of the Sinestro Corps #1: Parallax
At once I'm reminded of Search for Ray Palmer; Marz is being handed an assfull of poop and asked to make gold with it. And he tries. And miraculously, he does achieve quite a bit with what little he's given. But it still doesn't change the fact that he was given a crappy situation. The situation is that Kyle is down in the dumps and Marz has to make that interesting and true to Kyle's character, and yet he can't take Kyle out of the dumps because the story has to go on. It's not a very enviable position, but Marz does what he can with it, which is admirable.
Marz is a great writer for Kyle, as we all knew he was; he is straightforward and uncomplicated, and Kyle is straightforward and uncomplicated. Straightforward and uncomplicated is where both of them shine, and it's when you throw in layers upon layers of pathos and melodrama and subtext that both character and creator get weighted down. The problem here, of course, is that there is still a lot of pathos and melodrama and subtext here in this issue. And, unsurprisingly, both creator and character get weighted down. I know that this experience is not going to destroy Kyle as a character -- it would take a lot more than this to do that -- but I really still can't wait for this nonsense to be over so he can get back to having good stories again.
Meanwhile, props to Marz for remembering what Johns either forgot or never knew or just ignored, that Kyle has fought "Parallax" many times before in the past and kicked its ass up and down the street. He would remember, considering that he wrote several of those instances himself.
(7 out of 10)
Flash #232
It's cute, if nothing else. Charming. Which of course is what Waid is going for, and it works. Nothing really too spectacular happens, which is odd, and I'm not sure what the heck the point of the vagina monsters are, 'cause for now they're kinda in Generic Alien Monster territory. Other than that it's a solid issue.
(8 out of 10)
Checkmate #18
Well, Khalid didn't end up being J'onn, but that's okay 'cause we may well be getting the next best thing. Really looking forward to seeing him work with Fire; anything to draw him out of his newfound (but rapidly dimishing) emoness is A Good Idea, and association with prior JLIers is sure to be one of those things.
This book seems to share a lot of continuity with Birds of Prey, at least from Simone's leftovers, which is interesting as well as productive. Sasha's scene with Oracle was wonderfully-written, with just a tiny dash of lesbian.
This series has sort of been leading up to the fall of the Wall right from the getgo, and it's kinda appropriate that Rucka is finishing off his solo-writing on this with this arc. I greatly fear the upcoming co-writer, but I guess I'm okay with it so long as Rucka is still the other co-writer.
(8.4 out of 10)
Birds of Prey #110
Pretty good standalone featuring Huntress on a solo mission. With a school bus. Crashing a school bus. Hijinks ensue.
I'm a fan of using a superhero's civilian skills as an advantage in their superhero job. Whenever Flash shows mechanical aptitude, I'm all over it. Whenever Superman applies his journalistic instincts, I get a stiffy. You absolutely needed to know that.
So when Huntress applies her career as a teacher for use in the field (and says as much), it doesn't come off cheesy or awkward to me. It comes off effective and as if writers actually know the characters they're writing or something. I know, I know, crazy right?
(7.9 out of 10)
Kitsune
Fox of Ages
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They had one of those in the Old Man Coyote myths. He stuck a hammer in first and broke all the teeth.
Darthphere
Kneel before 'Drox!
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Great sentence.
TheCorpulent1
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Did you just make a pass at Trop?I'll teach you about foreplay sometime, Trop.
Darthphere
Kneel before 'Drox!
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Lets hope so.
PhotoJones
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And what if I did?
TheCorpulent1
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Then you would be living an alternative lifestyle, and that'd be okay.
The issue ruled. It's pretty impressive that Rucka can still hand us some surprising twists, even though we knew months in advance about some spoilers thanks to the solicitations. I'm really looking forward to J'onn's presence in this series, and I hope it continues beyond just this arc. Once Waller's gone, maybe he'll become the new White Queen's Knight. Hell, maybe he'll shapeshift and become the new White Queen. I'm sure Rucka could pull anything off in here.
Co-writer? I somehow failed to hear about that.
The issue ruled. It's pretty impressive that Rucka can still hand us some surprising twists, even though we knew months in advance about some spoilers thanks to the solicitations. I'm really looking forward to J'onn's presence in this series, and I hope it continues beyond just this arc. Once Waller's gone, maybe he'll become the new White Queen's Knight. Hell, maybe he'll shapeshift and become the new White Queen. I'm sure Rucka could pull anything off in here.
BrianWilly
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It's apparently the same guy who cowrote the Gideon issue, which helps me to only cry myself to sleep on some nights instead of all the time. Co-writers are becoming all the rage at DC, and it actually seems to be working so I don't mind.
Darthphere
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But is it a permanent thing? Because if anyone should be co-writing with Rucka on this title, it should be Defilippis and Weir.
TheCorpulent1
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Well, Brubaker and Rucka co-wrote Gotham Central and Rucka was a co-writer on 52, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Trautmann's issue was pretty good, so that's encouraging. So long as Joe Bennett keeps penciling or is replaced by someone equally awesome, and the stories continue to be interesting, I'll be happy. Checkmate, Blue Beetle, and Green Lantern Corps are really the only comics at DC that I'm actually excited for anymore (though I still read others), so if they're good, I'm happy.
Oh, speaking of co-writers, are any of the other three people in the world who read Shadowpact hoping that Matthew Sturges continues writing and Willingham just goes away? Braithwaite should stick around, too. This past Wednesday's issue was easily the best of the whole damn series so far, and the first that actually approached Day of Vengeance's level of fun.
Oh, speaking of co-writers, are any of the other three people in the world who read Shadowpact hoping that Matthew Sturges continues writing and Willingham just goes away? Braithwaite should stick around, too. This past Wednesday's issue was easily the best of the whole damn series so far, and the first that actually approached Day of Vengeance's level of fun.
kainedamo
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You decided to stop reading a great book purely because Strange got hit by Hulk?
There is fanboy, and then there is fanboy!!
BrianWilly
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Oh god I don't know okay I just don't know stop pressuring me Christ.
Uh, I mean, he's solicited for December and presumably for the rest of that arc. Dunno if it's permanent.
Darthphere
Kneel before 'Drox!
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So in other words, you have no idea what you're talking about and you're making me nervous for nothing.
TheCorpulent1
SHAZAM!
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Ugh, I hate how beholden I am to comic creators now. They hold such power over my emotions.
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