Thanks! I was quite fond of how you wrote Dent. I really could picture him trying to hold his own against someone as intimidating as Bats.
And I'm horrible at writing camera direction. That's best left to someone who actually enjoys all that stuff. I just like to set the mood and writing the performance.
I also had to resit giving Dini a nod by having the Joker call Harv "Big Bad Harv."But I thought that would be too much fan-service, which I don't really like that much.
So how long before some fool who glances at this thread claims our writing as leaked scripts on other message boards? :P
[EDIT] D'oh! I meant to call the 'podium' and all similar descriptions the gallows! The term just escaped me at the moment! :/
sorry i guess i wasn't clear about my last comment. from what i've read, you only need to write what the audience would see. In the first post i read (once again, an excellent scene), the first sentence says "record setting rain pours down." how do we know it's record setting? i'm not knocking your style, but screenwriting has a different technique than prose writing. you have amazing potential, so don't think i'm bashing you man because believe me I'm not. you should see some of my earlier stuff! now that's crappy screenwriting!
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all i'm saying is that screenwriting is more about technique than style you know? if you go to Barnes & Noble soon, look for a book called How NOT to Write a Screenplay. I bought it, and it's done wonders to improve my screenwriting.
...actually that little "record-setting rain" thing was the only "error" that i've seen so far...other than that you've done a killer job with both scenes! BIGto you. I like how Dent meets up with Batman in an alleyway instead of the GCPD rooftop. It makes the scene seem more tense. very nicely written
The lead up to this scene is that as Joker continues to terrorize Gotham and develop an obsession with Batman, Rachel steps up her determination to build a case against him. Batman pays her a visit telling her to stop going after Joker because he's worried about her, this guy scares him. She is not impressed. He expresses his feelings for her. She rejects him again saying they both now owe a duty to Gotham and can't let their feelings get in the way of their mission. Joker has just learned the true identity of Batman.
Int. Limo - Backseat
Bruce Wayne reads the stock section of the Gotham Times as his cellphone rings.
Bruce
Hello?
Rachel V/O
Bruce, I've thought about what you said...the other day. I think I made a mistake.
Bruce
Rachel...
Rachel
Please let me finish. I'm sorry I was rude. I know you care about me and I shouldn't have talked to you that way...I want to see you.
Bruce
I'm on my way.
Rachel
I love you Bruce.
Before Bruce can say anything, she hangs up.
Bruce
Alfred, take me to Rachel's house.
Int. Rachel's Home
Rachel hangs up the phone and turns around. The Joker is standing there.
Rachel
Happy?
Joker
Bravo.
Ext. Rachel's Home - Evening
Bruce approaches her door and sees a note. He smiles and opens the door. As he enters he sees rose petals strewn about the floor. The lights are dimmed and romantic music is playing softly. He can't believe his luck. The petals lead him to the Kitchen. 2 Champagne flutes are on the table with a note that reads: Bruce, champagne is chilling in the fridge. When you're ready bring it up to my bedroom. He laughs to himself. He approaches the fridge, but suddenly his instincts kick in. He freezes. The door is open about a half inche. Not enough for the fridge light to be on, but he notices nonetheless. As his senses engage and years of training come into action, he realizes something is terribly wrong.
Bruce
No...
He slowly approaches the door. Apprehensively he grabs the handle just as a hand plops out. It dangles there between the door and wall of the fridge. Bruce's face immediately melts.
Bruce
No No No NO..
His face steals itself for the agony that is sure to come. He opens the fridge fully, revealing the body of Rachel Dawes crumpled up and stuffed in the fridge like leftovers.
Bruce
No, rachel...Oh no, oh god..
He is bawling as he gently takes her body out of the fridge. Crying uncontrollably and beggin god to undo this catastrophe we can now see sloppy lipstick drawn onto her face like a giant smile. Bruce continues to cry and hug her to him, his oldest friend. Slowly he regains his composure, lifts up her body and proceeds to carry it up the steps and into her bedroom. He lays her down onto her bed and goes into the washroom to grab a towel. Lovingly he washes the lipstick from her face and closes her vacant eyes. He looks at her one last time. She really looks beautiful. He gently kisses her forehead and walks out of the room. As he descends the stairs of her house, a change comes over him. His eyes go cold. His posture and body tense and subtly become heavier. His mouth turns into a feral grimace and his fists clench into rage-filled balls. By the time he gets to the bottom of the stair he is no longer Bruce Wayne. His clothes may be tailored and his hair may be gelled and perfect, but he is now The Batman. He stands in the middle of Rachel's living room, his fists still clenched. He growls in the familiar Bat-voice
Bruce
Show yourself.
Joker V/O
That would ruin the fun...
Bruce
I'm not playin games. Where are you?
Joker V/O
Can't find me? Those Bat-skills can't sniff me out? What's the matter Brucie, losing your edge? Hahahaha.
Joker's laugh slices into Bruce like a knife as he realizes something is deeply wrong. His senses HAVE been dulled, his vision is blurred and his reaction time is off. He looks around in a panic.
Bruce
What have you done to me?
Joker V/O
I put a little perfume on her face before I shoved her into the fridge. Something to soften the blow of you finding her like some bad chinese food you've forgotten was in there for weeks. Hahaha.
Bruce
You...bastard...I'll...this won't stop me!
Joker V/O
Oh I don't want to stop you. Nonono. I just want to slow you down a little. So that we can both enjoy this moment. Hahah
Bruce swirls around and around stumbling trying to find the source of this satanic voice.
Bruce
Who are you??!
He stops swirling to find Joker standing right behind him. Joker speaks in a faux Batman voice:
Joker
I'm Joker
(pause)
Hahahahahahahahahahha.
Bruce wasted no time and grabs him by the throat and shoves him down to the floor. He proceeds to pummel him as he shouts obscenities over and over. Blood is flying as Joker continues to laugh and taunt him.
Joker
Is this how Rachel liked it? Hahahahahah...
Bruce continues to hit him over and over, tears flowing down his face, when all of a sudden he stops. He can hear sirens. He looks up and sees flashing red and blue. He looks down. Joker is gone. His hands are covered in blood. The door bursts open as police enter shouting various commands at Bruce. Some of them restrain him while others go up the stairs. Leutenant Gordon enters.
Gordon
Bruce Wayne. We got a call that there were screams coming from this place. What the hell happenned?
Bruce (still drugged and out of it)
She's dead..I...she's dead..
Cop
Leutenant we got a dead body up here. Female caucasion, twenties.
Gordon
Bruce...How..?
Bruce
I didn't, it was-
Cop #2
He's got blood all over his hands...
Gordon
I'm gonna have to take you in Bruce. I'm sorry
(pause)
You have the right to remain silent, you have...
Gordon continues to read Bruce his rights as he is cuffed and escorted out of the house and into a police car. Fade to black.
EXT. POLICE ROOFTOP NIGHT
A drizzling rain falls coldly across the hazy city of Gotham. On the rooftop of police headquarters LIEUTENANT JAMES GORDON stands in the rain, a cigarette dangling on his cold lips. The wind makes a chilling howl as raindrops sizzle on the bright spotlight arching skyward.
A door opens. A man steps onto the rooftop, joining Gordon.
MAN
Picked a hell of a night, Jim.
GORDON
Glad you could make it, Harv.
Harv shuts the door behind him and opens up his umbrella.
HARV
How long is this going to take?
GORDON
It shouldnt take long.
HARV
Where is he, then?
Gordon takes a drag of his cigarette.
GORDON
Hes coming.
Harv sighs, visibly impatient. He twists his umbrella as he gazes out across the rooftop to the city below. A siren echoes faintly in the streets.
HARV
Do you think this is a good idea, Gordon?
Gordon remains silent. He takes another drag from his cigarette.
HARV
How can you trust him? This man
Continues to elude our officers,
Violates the law at every turn, and
Runs around the city dressed up like
a god-damn bat. A vigilante, for
Christs sake!
GORDON
Hes on our side, Harvey.
HARVEY
Are you sure about that?
GORDON
Why dont you ask him yourself?
HARVEY
Maybe I will. Maybe Ill have him
Arrested when he gets here.
GORDON
Then arrest him.
HARVEY
What?
Harvey turns around. Shilouetted against the modified spotlight is a dark, broding figure. His arms are crossed as he stands to his full height, towering over Gordon and Harvey. His cape blows in the crisp and rainy wind. The Dark Knight. The BATMAN.
BATMAN
Gentlemen.
EXT. GOTHAM STREETS - NIGHT
The streets are still wet from the day's rain, but the skies are clear and the stars shine bright over Gotham. HARVEY DENT walks home down the street, looking from one derelict to another. His trek leads him out of the streets and into an alleyway.
BATMAN (O.S.)
Maroni's about to crack.
DENT's heart skips a beat as he turns to a shadowy part of the alley, following the BATMAN'S voice. He sees BATMAN, faitly, in the shadows.
BATMAN (CON'T)
But the Joker is still out there.
(BEAT)
Where's Gordon?
DENT
He's at home with his family.
It's Christmas Eve.
Decent people should be with their families tonight.
DENT sighs.
DENT (CON'T)
The Joker struck again last night.
This time he took out Maroni's nephew.
To make things worse, the Scarecrow put Maroni's lawyer into a catatonic state.
Maroni's about to declare war on these 'freaks.'
BATMAN
Not in my city.
DENT
You think it might be best for us to let these three duke it out?
You know: The enemy of my enemy is my friend?
These guys are just slaughtering each other.
Why not just sit back and let them do our work?
The BATMAN glares to DENT.
BATMAN
That's not our work, Mr. Dent.
DENT (FLUSTERED)
I didn't mean it like that.
You know what I meant.
(BEAT)
Too many innocent people have been caught up in this already.
A lot of young cops.
BATMAN
I won't let these three use Gotham City as their stage.
I'm going to stop both of them from turning Gotham into a warzone.
DENT runs his hand over his mouth, looking down in though as he realizes how serious the BATMAN is.
DENT
So what's your plan?
How can I hel-
DENT looks up to a vacant shadow. He looks up, hoping to catch the BATMAN before he truly vanishes but only sees the moon high above him and nothing more.
Of course, I'm taking a few liberties with the cast.Originally I wanted a meeting between Gordon and Bats, but then it became more apparent that this meeting would be better suited for Dent and Bats. But that meant I had to cut the a line from Gordon where he would explain that he walks his old beat every night on his way home, a nod to Dark Victory's Chief O'Hara. Without it, it kinda doesn't make sense that Harvey Dent, who is presumably new to Gotham, would walk down Gotham City's notorious streets at night. Oh wells, it's too early to try to work in logic so I'll just assume the prior scene explains why Dent is walking home.