Oh sure, leave
me to do the heavy lifting.
Thanks, bub.
Seriously, I read 'Midnight Nation' because I actually liked JMS' work on Spider-Man to some degree, even when he was messing around with that Totem nonsense. I've always hated that cryptic nonsense, and after watching several years of Buffy (which hardly paid off toward the end, if any of you have seen the latter two horrible seasons), I had my fill of "Chosen Ones" and "destinies" and "mythic origins." If I was reading Thor, I sure as hell wouldn't complain about any of that. Why, that would be sort of like saying, "I love Spider-Man, but I never liked the idea of mechanical web-shooters, so I'm glad the comics now match the movie," which is heresy, pure and simple, but I'm talking about
Spider-Man. He's an urban vigilante, and while the White Tiger can pull of both the mystical angle and the street-level ass-kicking, Spider-Man wasn't meant for that. If he was, don't you think Steve Ditko, the creator of
Doctor freakin' Strange, would have plotted something to that effect during his run?? .
He's a
science hero, which really means he gained his power through pseudo-scientific means. Yes, magic and science aren't always mutually exclusive, but by all that is crunchy and lightly salted, this is not a character for whom that connection should be explored. Hell, as far as I'm concerned, the whole thing was a vehicle through which JMS could plug Dr. Strange's new book several times, which is basically what he did.
Anyway, I did like JMS a little early in his run, because the dialogue was funny and Spider-Man was shown interacting with people on the street again, eating bagels and other stuff that made him seem back in his element. Nice fake-out, Straczinsky! I never saw any of that other bull$hit coming, and I'm a pessimist, so bra-****ing-vo!
But my nasty little opinions don't count, because I judged Gwen a **** (which she very much is, the way that hack wrote her), which means I'm buying into the whole "Madonna/****e" complex. Right, because I, being the opinionated and universally judgmental person that I am (that's not sarcasm folks, that's my admitting the obvious and telling you for future reference that it's not an insult when you call me that, it just means you're awake and can tap the right keys!), wouldn't have said essentially the same thing about Peter if he had cheated on her, or MJ, or anyone else, right? Maybe I'd have used the word "****," maybe I'd just say he was a scumbag with the same meaning behind it. I sure as hell said that about Foggy Nelson when he cheated on Liz Osborn in the Daredevil story 'Guardian Devil!" I qualified it as ambiguous, however, since there were drugs involved. If Daredevil can be drugged into flying into a rage whenever someone makes positive remarks about a particular baby, then Foggy can be drugged into throwing a hump to a smokin' hot client. In general, without such complications, I don't give free passes for infidelity. Hell, I was even pissed off at Wolverine when I realized he was still engaged to Mariko when he slept with anyone from crimelord Tyger Tiger to super-terrorist Mystique. Still not sure how to feel about that, because Mariko's culture and honor system aren't mine, so maybe she'd have been okay with it. Another complication. But there was nothing complicated at all about "Gwen" and Norman Osborn. "Magnetism" isn't drugs, and Peter isn't a Japanese matriarch who lives according to Bushido.
Point is, JMS's "What If" version of Gwendolyne Stacy was a
filthy, despicable **** for cheating on Peter with his best friend's middle-aged father, and nothing will
ever change that. What
can be changed is the inclusion of that bastardized version to canon. I still don't accept it. Gwen wasn't like that and never will be (unless it's that clone that's still out there), because she's dead and should have stayed in her grave undisturbed. There's another big chunk o' proof that JMS has no originality reserved for Spider-Man. Instead of bringing in an old villain and giving him a new scheme (which isn't necessarily a gloriously original idea-- depending on the new scheme-- but at least it's appropriate for a Spider-Man story), he dug up a corpse and branded her an unfaithful ****e, even if he can't understand what he did. Okay, he gave us new villains. New, one-shot villains that are either magic-based or not coming back, or do come back and are poor excuses for "arch-enemies." Morlun keeps hitting Spider-Man "harder than he's ever been hit before." Okay, well, to hell with characters like the Hulk who are supposed to be the strongest there is and have decades of character development behind them. We'll just bring in a slightly prettier version of Morbius, jack him up to the power level of a lovechild between Hulk and Thor, and have him do nothing remotely clever or exceptional. Just beat on Peter and have him eat his eyeball. You know, just like that cannibal Mauvaise (that's French for "bad," kids) did to Wolverine a few years ago. But JMS probably didn't know that. He probably never read a Wolverine comic in his life, judging from how he acts in the Avengers. Both Bendis and JMS can't seem to get that right. Or anything else at Marvel, for that matter.
Losing steam. Rant over. For now...
Here's a super-long essay with dozens of quotes (I'm not even a quarter of the way through yet, but I'm enjoying the recap and annotations) on the history or Gwen Stacy and Norman Osborn, written by our friend Gregatron, for the purpose of formally proving that 'Sins Past' never could have happened. We who know our Spider-Man comics don't need proof, of course,
but it's nice to see it laid out. Here it it:
GREAT POWER, GREATER IRRESPONSIBILITY
.
Come on! Insanity! So, maybe one day we'll get that story of Peter getting his drivers license changed from motorcycle...to a car. 
