Confront your fears...

[Kyalesyin]

How did you die? And aren't you gay?

I am indeed gay. Still very much a woman though.

I died by poisoning. Paracetemol poisoning to be exact. My liver shut down after batch one [45 lots of 500mg] and when I took batch two an hour later [66 lots of 500mg] there was nothing to stop the sedative getting in and shutting me right down. Breathing slowed, heart slowed, my mother found me. While she was waiting for the ambulance I almost stopped altogether. Flatlined in the ambulance. Got brought back.

I am so glad my mother found me, even if at the time I could have killed her for it.

 

[BRUTAL]

the war.....has begun....

*picks up gun and runs down street*

War? With Emos? That wouldn't even be a battle, not even a skirmish, not even a slap-fight. It would be like shooting fish in a barrel... pale, stupid looking, melodramatic, attention-****e fish.

 

[Kyalesyin]

All you need to do is tell them that breathing cholrine gas is cool this week. You don't even have to shoot them that way. They'll do anything if its cool.

 

[Gotendbz-2]

I am indeed gay. Still very much a woman though.

I died by poisoning. Paracetemol poisoning to be exact. My liver shut down after batch one [45 lots of 500mg] and when I took batch two an hour later [66 lots of 500mg] there was nothing to stop the sedative getting in and shutting me right down. Breathing slowed, heart slowed, my mother found me. While she was waiting for the ambulance I almost stopped altogether. Flatlined in the ambulance. Got brought back.

I am so glad my mother found me, even if at the time I could have killed her for it.

Okay. Was it Cup Cakes? They're so good....... yet they betray you in so many ways.

 

[Kyalesyin]

Okay. Was it Cup Cakes? They're so good....... yet they betray you in so many ways.

I just swallowed down whole pills. Easy enough done. After the first two you don't taste them.

 

[Gotendbz-2]

I just swallowed down whole pills. Easy enough done. After the first two you don't taste them.

By accident? Sorry if its too many questions.

 

[Kyalesyin]

By accident? Sorry if its too many questions.

Nobody takes 111 pills by accident, trust me on that one. It took me weeks to research it, plan it, get the pills together. Take em slow so the first lot shut down the liver, and then the second lot fast so they shut down your heart and brain. I was pretty damn determined, and I'm suffering the after-effects still.

Ok, thats something I can't do. I can't swallow pills any more. Not even the vitamin pills smaller than a fingernail. Can't do it.

 

[Kritish]

I am a woman, and I am not lying. I died for exactly 105 seconds on March 17, 2004. I was working on deconditioning my fears before that, but dying was really the crunch. If I can survive that, I can survive going to the bathroom without turning the lights on, or picking a spider out of the sink.

You sound like a goth.

 

[Kyalesyin]

You sound like a goth.

Eww. I don't even own an eyeliner pencil. Hippe childe me. I just saw no point in being afraid. I mean, the spider in the sink isn't going to kill me. If I'm in my house with the doors locked nothing is going to spring out at me.

And I did die. I got a very bruised chest while they were bringing me back.

 

[DBella]

I have a fear of heights.
And I'm claustrophobic.

 

[Kritish]

Eww. I don't even own an eyeliner pencil. Hippe childe me. I just saw no point in being afraid. I mean, the spider in the sink isn't going to kill me. If I'm in my house with the doors locked nothing is going to spring out at me.

And I did die. I got a very bruised chest while they were bringing me back.

What did you see?

I expect oblivion.

 

[Kyalesyin]

What did you see?

I expect oblivion.

Nothing, to be honest. There was a sensation, like floating in water, and I felt safe, but I didn't see much. It was like how I always imagined being in a womb would be- soft, warm, dark, safe. Its only a very fuzzy impression though.

 

[Kritish]

Nothing, to be honest. There was a sensation, like floating in water, and I felt safe, but I didn't see much. It was like how I always imagined being in a womb would be- soft, warm, dark, safe. Its only a very fuzzy impression though.

Not at all surprised, you still scare the **** out of me though.

 

[Kyalesyin]

Not at all surprised, you still scare the **** out of me though.

I scare you? How?

 

[Kritish]

I scare you? How?

You basically kill yourself just to no longer be afraid of it?

 

[Kyalesyin]

You basically kill yourself just to no longer be afraid of it?

Oh no. I killed myself after I was attacked at a friend's party and then misscarried a few months later.

 

[Kritish]

Oh no. I killed myself after I was attacked at a friend's party and then misscarried a few months later.

You're surprisenly open about your personal demons.

 

[Kyalesyin]

You're surprisenly open about your personal demons.

Been there, done that. No point in dressing it up or pretending it didn't happen. Thats how people end up letting things go on for years and getting trapped in that sort of cycle, by pretending things didn't happen. I wanted out of that before it got worse, before I came to expect it and just let it happen to me. I picked death as my way out.

Guess I was lucky my mother couldn't sleep that night.

 

[AndThePickles]

I wish that I really could *confront* my fears and get over them. They're just kind of.....there.

 

[Kyalesyin]

What are you scared of that can't be dealt with?

 

[BRUTAL]

Skin?

 

[Colossal Spoons]

Been there, done that. No point in dressing it up or pretending it didn't happen. Thats how people end up letting things go on for years and getting trapped in that sort of cycle, by pretending things didn't happen. I wanted out of that before it got worse, before I came to expect it and just let it happen to me. I picked death as my way out.

Guess I was lucky my mother couldn't sleep that night.

Let me just say that your openness and willingness to talk about your ordeal are most admirable. Though I don't have any stories as "interesting" as you; I try to be 99% open about everthing in my life. People who hold on to secrets end up festering.

Sorry to hear about your attack, miscarriage, and death(that's weird to type). Glad you got over that though.

 

[AndThePickles]

What are you scared of that can't be dealt with?

Look for my previous post

 

[BRUTAL]

I'm afraid of Bees as well

 

[AndThePickles]

I don't know what one would do about that.......don't think that sitting with bees crawling all over you without stinging you would help or anything like that lol.