Leave the sharks and dolphins alone... give me the frat dudes.
If you were given the responsibility, would you rather...
Inform a room of first grade students that their favorite pets have died tragically
or
Explain to a room of first grade students how sex works in graphic detail
Guess these kids parents are going to be mad at me, I don't do the Stork stories... they're getting a raw education!
A sinkhole opens up under you, you land in a cavern, you look over and see a vein of gold thicker than you are.
OR
Armed gunmen have a shootout with the cops outside, an explosion launches a metal box into your living room, it's full of money and coins.
Dressed in darkness, I have great spatial awareness, it's when I can see I get clutzy.
Your entire life is a TV show (like The Truman Show) but you're aware of it.
OR
Your every move is tracked, everything online is logged, but you're unaware.
Aquaman, I'm mildly pyrophobic. Also replace Amber Heard as Mera, she's the physical manifestation of a dumpster fire.
You get to name a reasonable price for Universal Basic Income and everyone gets that monthly
OR
Every single person on Earth gets access to free state of the art Healthcare forever.
I had an uncle, worst driver ever, get him well sloshed and suddenly he's driving like Mario Andretti... he didn't die from drunk driving, he got shot in the back seat of a taxi in the desert outside of Vegas.
That said, I'll take the hot maid, been a bad girl have you, we'll fix that
You find a box containing cursed jewelry, anyone you sell a piece to is going to have a bad time.
OR
A stray cat follows you home, now it's the cat's home, no way to get rid of it, it will demand things.
Wizard would be more interesting, Kings tend to get assassinated.
Sleep with an exact copy of yourself (sleep like all curled up together)
OR
Have your immediate family replaced by exact copies of them with no memories installed yet
Be electrocuted every time you swear, wouldn't take long to modify speech patterns getting zapped all the time.
Extreme Allergies to everything outside, and every time you sneeze you orgasm.
OR
Unusual side effect of oxygen on you, breathing turns your poo into gold.
Egging a house is more fun and a lot harder to clean up.
Stream a game you're not that good at playing with an online audience of 5-6 thousand people.
OR
Stream a naughty workout session for a random stranger online for however much money you make in a week.
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