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Epic Things You've Actually Said...

Carcharodon

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Today I said something that, I felt, was truly epic. It just felt so right to say, and upon reflection, it was wonderful.

"I think I just shat myself, Hobbes."

Hobbes is my 3-legged cat.
 
Check out the Guestion/Question thread, page 3. That was an Epic "conversation", though I may be leading up to something similar in the current lounge.
 
Something I said taken way out of context ( Don't know how)

"So, I was fist f'n this burn victim"
 
One time, about 17 years ago, my friend and I were waking up from a night of drunken debauchery, and with sore heads and all, I asked the question "Why do we drink???", to which my friend replied...

"Because we're stupid".

A truly epic answer right there, folks...

:yay:
 
Try this. I was kicking around ideas for a super hero with a friend at college last semester, when we came up with an entirely unusual concept based off of her pet...

"HERMAPHRO-CAT!"
 
Once I called Dog Lips a cotton-headed ninny muggins, that was rather epic at the time.
 
i was at a party at my friends house and i was sitting at the table while my girlfriend was over on the couches
one of her old friends came in and gave her a kiss on the cheek
Me:who's this guy kissing my girl
my friend: its ok, hes gay
and with out missing a beat
me:oh **** now shes gonna get AIDS
i immedietly felt bad for saying it,but its a good example of how i speak before i think
 
My ex called me a cheating bastard. I replied, "No. I'm merely conforming to the standard that society has employed upon its citizens to acknowledge and embrace my right to varying social standards. Its not that I can't commit but at this moment in time, me being with you is like communism, I can't bare to tolerate it."

She responded by spitting in my face.
 
I thought you were thesonofbat for a second since I was reading your user name in the corner of my eye.
 
I was talking to my friend who can't decide to choose one girl to date longer than a week, and I came up with this.

Me: You're like a rubics cube man, trying to mix too many colors because it can never make up it's mind about the one color it wants.
 
I thought you were thesonofbat for a second since I was reading your user name in the corner of my eye.

Thesonoboat isn'tas rebellious as I am. Although, I'm a reformed poster, 8th account in 5 bloody years.
 
Once I was on acid at the mall on Halloween. There was a lady there with a dog. In the mall. My friend Carey said (loudly) "You can't have dogs in the mall!" I replied, "Shut up man, she'd blind not deaf." About 5 minutes later we saw the same 'blind' chick sitting at a table reading a newspaper. I said to Carey, "I guess the dog's blind."
 
I wouldn't have described most of these as Epic, so I decided to check out the meaning of the term:

wiki dictionary said:
epic (plural epics)

1. An extended narrative poem in elevated or dignified language, celebrating the feats of a legendary or traditional hero.
The Icelandic epic took all night to recite.

2. A series of events considered appropriate to an epic.
The book was an epic in four volumes

So, the Guestion/Question thread was epic, it went on and on and on (and was also almost poetic). The Lord of the Rings and Star Wars are both epics. A one line sentence, while humorous, amazing or astounding, is not epic.
 
Nowadays, i say that when the party goes a little silent or there is an awkward silence between friends at a social gathering.

But, when it was first said, we were talking about weird things you have done, and one of my friends happened to be dating a person who was badly scarred by a fire (and let me tell you, he laughed at this joke too). And the conversation directly before, we were talking about the art of fisting. So, we got to talking about what kind of sex they had (my friend and her bv lover), and well, you just don't start a coversation with; "So I was fist f'n this burn victim"

There's the back story. Hope that helps.
 
Once I was on acid at the mall on Halloween. There was a lady there with a dog. In the mall. My friend Carey said (loudly) "You can't have dogs in the mall!" I replied, "Shut up man, she'd blind not deaf." About 5 minutes later we saw the same 'blind' chick sitting at a table reading a newspaper. I said to Carey, "I guess the dog's blind."

That's awesome!
 
Everything, and nothing, I say is epic.
 
Once I was on acid at the mall on Halloween. There was a lady there with a dog. In the mall. My friend Carey said (loudly) "You can't have dogs in the mall!" I replied, "Shut up man, she'd blind not deaf." About 5 minutes later we saw the same 'blind' chick sitting at a table reading a newspaper. I said to Carey, "I guess the dog's blind."

It may have been a "hearing ear dog". There's a show here in Canada called "Sue Thomas F.B. Eye" where the main character travels with a hearing ear dog. The dog lets her know when alarms are going off, horns are beeping, sirens are sounding on the street, things of that nature.
 
One time i was talking to a gir i wanted to hook up, and i asked if she wanted to go out some time, she said she's got a boyfriend now so i said...

"oh, he's not invited"

classic stuff right there, feel free to use that anytime lads!
 
"It's not necrophilia until regimortis sets in."

"Didn't Cat Stevesons change his name to Muhammad el Allah? **** it, I'm changing my name to Jesus McGod." Granded, I didn't know what the hell Cat Stevens changed his name to at the time, but people thought it was funny anyways

Female bartender about one of my friends, "Why'd he get so mad at (some chick) for calling him a name? I call him names all the time and he doesn't get mad a me."

Me, "Yeah, because you're hot." Got a phone number that day :up:

To a female friend concerned about her two year old son is touching himself while taking a bath, "The wireing's there, the power's just not turned on yet."

"How can a Pimps and Hoes party seem racist? Now, if was a Slaves and Masters party, I see how it could be seen as racist."

They may not sound too good in text, but they got big laughs in person :)
 
"That's not what God told me," Said to my biology teacher when she got annoyingly anti-religion.
 
Instead of "Epic Things You've Actually Said"....someone should make a
"Things You've Said That Were ACTUALLY Epic" thread.

:o
 

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