Favorite/Memorable Pun/Joke/One Liner (Please Use Spoiler Tags for Newer Material)

[Spider-Aziz]

MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE CLUB EXCLUSIVE
The title would be too long for the title bar, so I had to share this bit in the thread, as bold and big as possible.​

I don't think there is any MCU movie, TV, or Netflix show without a good share of those, and I'm disappointed there isn't a thread for this already, and we're nearly 8 years in (4 months before the 8th anniversary of Iron Man theatrical release), so it's time to share your favorites, or ones that stick in your mind for a while for any reason.

There is one pun that sticks with me both for being funny and for being weird, from Marvel The Avengers:
"We have Shakespeare in the house?
Doth Mother Know Thy is Wearing her Drapes?"
It's weird because Thor does not speak that way in the movies.

A good joke from Netflix is [blackout]Jessica in the first episode handing the subpoena to that guy, her attempt at scaring him to taking the paper is amazingly funny.[/blackout]

 

[Guard82]

Here are some of my favorite funny moments in the MCU:

- In CA: TFA, Steve wryly points out that he has real authority by stating, "I'm a captain, remember?"

- In IM1, Tony hilariously starting to go into cardiac arrest after he made Pepper remove the device from his chest.

- Thor smashing his coffee cup - "ANOTHER!"

- When told by Widow that Loki is practically a god, Cap says, "There's only one God, ma'am. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't dress like that."

- Hulk smashes Loki around like a ragdoll.

- Any of the friendly banter between Sam and Steve in CA: TWS. Cap and Falcon had great chemistry. The humor in their interactions just felt totally natural.

- Black Widow in TWS: "Shall we play a game?" LOL. And then Steve confirms that he had already gotten around to seeing WarGames, so he got the joke. LOL.

- Tony's interactions with that fan of his in IM3, who had hilariously modeled his whole look after Tony.

- Everyone trying to lift Thor's hammer in AoU.

- Jessica Jones pretending to be a high-voiced, girly-girl contest hostess over the phone when she was trying to help Luke find his friend Antoine.

- On Agents of Shield, Coulson disintegrating John Garrett at the last second in the most casual way possible before Garrett could make his villainous return.

- In AoU, Thor says, "There's nothing in the universe that can't be explained. Except this one." (referring to Tony)

- Peter Quill's dance sequence in the opening credits.

- Rocket Racoon getting his hands on a big rifle: "Oh YEAH!"

- Drax: "What if someone does something irksome, and I decide to remove his spine?"

- Peter Quill, speaking to an alien soldier who grabbed him: "Hey, Ninja Turtle, you better get off me!"

- In Ant-Man: "Baskin-Robbins always finds out."

- Also in Ant-Man: that giant Thomas the Tank Engine toy falling out of the house.

- In Daredevil, when Karen first meets Matt and Foggy:
Karen: How long have you been practicing law?
Matt (to Foggy): What time is it?
Foggy: It's 12:22 AM.
Matt (to Karen): About seven hours.


Like you said, every MCU property has a nice touch of humor in there somewhere.

 

[Slushy]

Drax Vs. Metaphors.

Language.

Scott Lang: My days of breaking into places and stealing stuff are over! What do you need me to do?

Hank Pym: ...I want you to break into a place and steal some stuff.

 

[gildedmuse]

I know it was in the trailers and most people probably got sick of it, but every time Scott recommends calling the Avengers I have to smile. Such a common sense response! Also, when Scott meets up with Luis after getting out of prison. Really just about every scene with Luis.

And actually anything Tony does or says in Avengers and IM3. I enjoy a good desperate sense of humor. "You walked into this, but I've had hotter dates than you." / "That's all you've got, a cheap shot and cheesy one liner?" / "Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography." That plus, you know, every exchange with the kid. I should not be so amused by Tony being a jerk to a child, but the parts where he tells him to stop being a ***** about his dad leaving and him mocking the kid as he drives off and leaves him standing in the snow just make me giggle.

There is a lot of that desperate humor in Jessica Jones, too, but I love her exchange with Malcolm in the elevator.


Malcolm Ducasse: You look bad.
Jessica Jones: I need money.
Malcolm Ducasse: You can have my TV.
Jessica Jones: Thanks, Malcolm. You keep it.
Malcolm Ducasse: I stole it.
Jessica Jones: I figured.

 

[AVEITWITHJAMON]

Man, there are literally to many of these moments to list, or even remember in the MCU!

Some of the movies have some great humour, and the shows have so many great humerous moments as well.

 

[Marvel]

Pepper: "I do anything and everything Mr. Stark requires. Including occasionally taking out the trash. Will that be all?"

Tony Stark: "Let's face it, this is not the worst thing you've caught me doing."

Tony Stark: "That man is playing Galaga! Thought we wouldn't notice. But we did."

Tony Stark: "You know, the question I get asked most often is, 'Tony, how do you go to the bathroom in the suit?' ............. Just like that."

The guard Tony Stark faces down in IM3: "Don't shoot! Seriously, I don't even like working here. They are so weird."

Peggy Carter unloads her gun into Steve's new shield: "Yes. I think it works."

Just about EVERYTHING Tommy Lee Jones' Colonel Phillips ever said!

The Hulk: "Puny god."

Thor hanging his hammer on the coat rack.

Rhodey using the "Ex-Wife" dud missile in IM2.

And SHAWARMA!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[RiXi]

All of the above, plus:

"I wish I had a mother-of-the-year award, so I could bludgeon you with it."