Five-Minute Infinite Crisis

[Dwarf lord]

Is Fables un-murdering Steph? No?

Then nobody cares about Fables.

^^^

This is how you know someone hasn't read Fables.

 

[Zev]

Is Fables un-murdering Steph? No?

Then nobody cares about Fables.

"I'm so proud of you I could burst."

^^^^

Actual line that comes out of Batman's mouth in Bill Willingham's Robin.

Just because Babylon 5 rocked doesn't mean that The Other is great sci-fi, if you see my comparison.

 

[Green Lantern]

Just because Blade Trinity sucked doesn't make Goyer's Batman Begins rock any less, using the same type of comparison.

 

[Zev]

Just because Blade Trinity sucked doesn't make Goyer's Batman Begins rock any less, using the same type of comparison.

But you still wouldn't want to go see Blade 4.

 

[Green Lantern]

But I'll still go and see the next movie Goyer's involved in. Just because his Robin sucked doesn't mean his Fables isn't STILL the BEST book on the shelf.

 

[Zev]

But I'll still go and see the next movie Goyer's involved in. Just because his Robin sucked doesn't mean his Fables isn't STILL the BEST book on the shelf.

Sucked is a nice word. As bad as Blade Trinity was, it didn't feature Blade suddenly breaking into a song and dance number in which he, amidst a flurry of jazzhands, confessed his love for molesting young children while dressed as a nun while, in the background, Abraham Whistler made love to a goat.

Now imagine that, only ten times more out of character, and you have Leslie Thompkins murdering Stephanie Brown. Which is only the cherry on top of the monumentally bad idea of killing Steph off in the first place, which I would say ranks right up there with Gwen's Goblin Babies as far as ill-conceived story directions go. If as Willingham's Robin, as bad as it is, can't erase the goodness of Fables, I submit to you that the goodness of Fables can't erase the soul-destroying suckitude of Willingham's Robin, which is enough to put any conceivable readership off any non-Fables Willingham book for the foreseeable future.

And by foreseeable future, I mean that if giant space slugs descended from the sky and started eating skyscrapers whole and the only comic book still being published was being written by Bill Willingham, I'd rather go and watch the giant space slugs raping my planet, for surely it would be a far more beautiful vision than Willingham's halfwit scribblings.

 

[The Hero]

As bad as Blade Trinity was, it didn't feature Blade suddenly breaking into a song and dance number in which he, amidst a flurry of jazzhands, confessed his love for molesting young children while dressed as a nun while, in the background, Abraham Whistler made love to a goat.

Unfortunately,that scene was cut.Hopefully we'll be getting some hot goat sex in The Dark Knight.

 

[Green Lantern]

Sucked is a nice word. As bad as Blade Trinity was, it didn't feature Blade suddenly breaking into a song and dance number in which he, amidst a flurry of jazzhands, confessed his love for molesting young children while dressed as a nun while, in the background, Abraham Whistler made love to a goat.

Now imagine that, only ten times more out of character, and you have Leslie Thompkins murdering Stephanie Brown. Which is only the cherry on top of the monumentally bad idea of killing Steph off in the first place, which I would say ranks right up there with Gwen's Goblin Babies as far as ill-conceived story directions go. If as Willingham's Robin, as bad as it is, can't erase the goodness of Fables, I submit to you that the goodness of Fables can't erase the soul-destroying suckitude of Willingham's Robin, which is enough to put any conceivable readership off any non-Fables Willingham book for the foreseeable future.

And by foreseeable future, I mean that if giant space slugs descended from the sky and started eating skyscrapers whole and the only comic book still being published was being written by Bill Willingham, I'd rather go and watch the giant space slugs raping my planet, for surely it would be a far more beautiful vision than Willingham's halfwit scribblings.

But you didn't say "Any non-Fables work" you said "Anything Willingham has written." He's not a good Super-hero writer, I know that. He's a GREAT Vertigo writer within his own universe.

 

[Zev]

I believe I said "anything Bill Willingham has written ever since his run on Robin." Fables falls well before that.

Also, I feel I have not conveyed the awe and mystery of how much Willingham's Robin bit the big one. There was an arc where Robin teamed up with a team of paramilitary commandos and went to Mexico to exterminate a nest of giant insects. That's like Batman having a guest spot on a soap opera, only at least the soap opera would be novel. The Robin storyline was just a pointless waste of ink and paper, showing not only a basic misunderstanding of the character and mythos, but a misunderstanding of human nature, the English language, physics, and possibly even the existence of good in the universe. We have met the enemy and he is us after reading Bill Willingham.

 

[The Hero]

Now imagine that, only ten times more out of character, and you have Leslie Thompkins murdering Stephanie Brown. Which is only the cherry on top of the monumentally bad idea of killing Steph off in the first place, which I would say ranks right up there with Gwen's Goblin Babies as far as ill-conceived story directions go.

Let's see:Black Mask tortured Stephanie Brown with a large phallic object,which led to her being murdered by Leslie Thomkins because Women Just Can't Be Trusted,which led to Willingham refuting claims of misogyny with (I'm paraphrasing) "I'm sickened by the thought of you fanboys crying like a bunch of women",forming a lovely misogynistic sundae.

 

[Zev]

Let's see:Black Mask tortured Stephanie Brown with a large phallic object,which led to her being murdered by Leslie Thomkins because Women Just Can't Be Trusted,which led to Willingham refuting claims of misogyny with (I'm paraphrasing) "I'm sickened by the thought of you fanboys crying like a bunch of women",forming a lovely misogynistic sundae.

As well as the old "Middle Finger To The Fans" message. How DARE people care about a character enough to cry when she dies! What do you think this is, a tragedy?

 

[The Hero]

As well as the old "Middle Finger To The Fans" message. How DARE people care about a character enough to cry when she dies! What do you think this is, a tragedy?

Besides,everyone knows how a REAL MAN deals with personal tragedy: He takes a heavy drag off his cigar,scowls,maybe says "damn it" to himself a couple of times,and then he goes on with his goddamn day.

 

[Zev]

Besides,everyone knows how a REAL MAN deals with personal tragedy: He takes a heavy drag off his cigar,scowls,maybe says "damn it" to himself a couple of times,and then he goes on with his goddamn day.

No, he buries his sorrow in alchol, then shatters the beer bottle (a REAL MAN never drinks beer from a can) and has a bout of catharically punching walls and throwing things around.

 

[The Hero]

No, he buries his sorrow in alchol, then shatters the beer bottle (a REAL MAN never drinks beer from a can) and has a bout of catharically punching walls and throwing things around.

We're both wrong.This is how a REAL MAN deals with tragedy.

 

[fifthfiend]

As well as the old "Middle Finger To The Fans" message. How DARE people care about a character enough to cry when she dies! What do you think this is, a tragedy?

I have to say I particularly enjoyed the spectacle of an artist attacking people for being moved by art. I like to imagine Picasso leering over a showing of Guernica, watching for someone to show any kind of response so he can jab his finger into their chest, asking what's the matter with you and telling 'em suck it up, ***.

I mean you're right Dwarf, I haven't picked up Fables - I might, despite my best intentions, accidentally find it emotionally affecting. And then Bill Willingham will show up on my doorstep, half-empty bottle of Jack in hand, challenging me to fight and calling me a queer.

 

[Zeu]

I like to imagine Picasso leering over a showing of Guernica, watching for someone to show any kind of response so he can jab his finger into their chest, asking what's the matter with you and telling 'em suck it up, ***.

Problem is when someone decides to jab an elbow back.

 

[fifthfiend]

Double-plus bonus: The actual Willingham post. Actually for my money, this is the best bit:

And of course there were scores of those claiming that this incident was the last straw and they're giving up my books, or the Bat books, or all comic books, forever. Here's a splash of water for everyone who ever has or ever will make such an hysterical claim on a message board: We never believe you. If you're the type to indulge in "how dare they do that!" we know you'll always be back for further outrages. Those addicted to indignation need constant indignation feeding.

Tell me again why I'm supposed to pay this ******* money?

Problem is when someone decides to jab an elbow back.

Tee.t:

 

[The Hero]

Double-plus bonus: The actual Willingham post

Wow.Check out his Q&A post,where his answer to every one of the guy's very good questions is "Because I said so.Now suck it,fanboy".

 

[fifthfiend]

Wow.Check out his Q&A post,where his answer to every one of the guy's very good questions is "Because I said so.Now suck it,fanboy".

That is a total mischaracterization.

His answers were actually "you asking that insults me, which hurts my feelings. Now suck on it, fanboy."

 

[Spike_x1]

Double-plus bonus: The actual Willingham post.

I have in fact already dropped two Batman books because of recent storylines.

Looks like I may have to drop more.

Looks like I'm not the only one. After Leslie killed Steph, even though I really disliked Stephanie's character, I said to myself, "Christ, this is horrible writing. Hope it gets better." Yes, I did, in fact give the batbooks a chance to redeem themselves.

And then Batman and Nightwing took on Amazo and survived.

I haven't bought a batbook since.

 

[The Question]

Wait. WILLINGHAM wrote the Leslie goes crazy bit? I feel so conflicted now.

 

[Zev]

Wow.Check out his Q&A post,where his answer to every one of the guy's very good questions is "Because I said so.Now suck it,fanboy".

I find it hilarious how, after the "overly dramatic little girl" comment, he then refuses to answer most of those very good, very well-spoken questions with "See, that's the kind of thing that would get a banning if we were in my forum!" Guess what, moron, you're not in your forum and you're making yourself look like far more of a jerk than anyone in the thread ever insinuated.

When I become a big-time comic writer, I'm gonna have Tim Drake coldcock Superman, knocking him out cold, then explain it by babbling about "the mercurial nature of streetfighting."

 

[Ben Urich]

Anyone else think Zev's "Five-Minute" things should be adapted into shoddy Flash animation like Teen Girl Squad?

 

[The Hero]

I: Robin has suddenly become freakishly talkative in dangerous situations. Yeah, you explained it but that still doesn't make it in-character. He also become quite a bit of a jerk, something he wasn't before your run. Sure, you may say this is a result of how he's dealing with the deaths of his loved ones, but he was doing it before they died.

B: Here's the part where I begin to have a problem with your posting. By all means express critical opinions of my work. I can take it. But if you're also going to add my possible responses, and try to provide both sides of the conversation, why should I bother to weigh in at all? So, as instruction to future posters, please limit your arguments to your side of the question. If you try to add both sides, just to be able to dismiss possible answers in advance, one might reasonably conclude you're not actually open to an actual debate and simply intend to have your own say, and that's it. We don't do that here. So, Ian, if you intend to participate here in the future, please don't do this sort of thing again. Trying to premtively defend your stated opinions paradoxically only weakens them.

Holy ****.He didn't even answer the question,he just *****ed about the poster trying to insure that he gave a real answer instead of the most obvious one.

I: Oracle feels the only way she can convince Batman to stop fighting is by blowing up her home, rather than using the myriad defenses she has in it. On top of this, there were also any number of unconcious gang members in the lower levels of her building. She willingly crushed them all in the rubble and explosion of her collapsing building just to get Batman out of there? Were these things even thought through by yourself and your editors before they made it to print? Was no forethought given to these ideas that any joe-schmoe fan could pick up on immediately after having read the issues?

B: Well, see, there you have us, Ian. At the big secret Bat conference wherein all of this was planned, we didn't think anything through. One of the dirty little secrets of the funnybook biz is that no one currently working can outthink the joe-schmoe fans. Pardon the mockery, Ian, but this is the kind of statement from you that wanders into unreasonable discourse. By all means dislike or even hate what we've produced. But taking that extra step of speculating openly that we didn't put any thought into it crosses the line. Don't do this again.

Something tells me that he doesn't have a real answer to these questions.

 

[The Hero]

No, what I did was confess my reaction to such dramatic displays, and even in doing so was careful not to single anyone out. This is no more an insult than expressing other likes and dislikes. Let's use a silly example: The fact that you might be disgusted by the taste of lemon cake in no way insults me for enjoying it. I confessed to be from a generation that believes where little girls can be expected to carry on in overly dramatic ways in public, grown men shouldn't. I dislike it and always will.

He said that readers who cried because of a very emotional story were over-dramatic little girls who made him cringe.How is that not an insult?