Five-Minute X-Men: The Last Stand

[Goddessreicho]

Good great god, I haven't stopped laughing yet.

Everything was freakin hilarious.

I loved the Independance Day Speech. I always thought it was so prentious for an action movie, thanks for reminding me.

I loved the anti-Hudlin line. I think you may be my new special friend!

 

[Latin_Princess1]

Lmao....dats Really Guud...it Was Sooo Funni.!!!

 

[Angry Sentinel]

I knew I should've searched for this today... someone should've posted a sign. I said it once, I'll say it a thousand times, you should get paid by the Hype for this...

Zev, you do THE BEST SYNOPS EVER!!!

PHOENIX: I want you to do me a favor.

JEAN: Yeah, sure...

PHOENIX: I want you to hit me as hard as you can.

JEAN: What? In the face?

PHOENIX: Surprise me.

JEAN: Well, what do you want me to do? You just want me to hit you?

PHOENIX: C'mon, do me this one favor.

JEAN: Why?

PHOENIX: Why? I don't know why; I don't know. Never been in a fight. You?

JEAN: No, but that's a good thing.

PHOENIX: No, it is not. How much can you know about yourself, you've never been in a fight? I don't wanna die without any scars. So come on; hit me before I lose my nerve.

JEAN: This is crazy.

PHOENIX: So go crazy. Let 'er rip.

JEAN: I don't know about this.

PHOENIX: I don't either. Who gives a ****? No one's watching. What do you care?

JEAN: Whoa, wait, this is crazy. You want me to hit you?

PHOENIX: That's right.

JEAN: What, like in the face?

PHOENIX: Surprise me.

JEAN: This is so ****ing stupid...

PHOENIX: Mother****er! You hit me in the ear!

JEAN: Well, Jesus, I'm sorry.

PHOENIX: Ow, Christ... why the ear, man?

JEAN: Guess I ****ed it up...

PHOENIX: No, that was perfect!

the best part of this for me was that although I know the original reference, I kept picturing Grant Morrison's End Song in my head where Jean faces off with Phoenix.... TOO FUNNY!!!

 

[matthooper]

Damn, that was more entertaining than the entire film, and much better written!

 

[Goddessreicho]

Omigod I just re-read it. My friends and I went nuts when we realized that it was the Mail Call guy calling for the weapons!

DUDE YOU ARE GOOD!

where's the link for the 5 min spiderman???

 

[Zev]

Five-Minute Spider-Man 3.

There ya go.

 

[TrailerMusic]

lol @ the Independence Day Speech & many others. Good one

 

[Farren]

CYCLOPS: **** you.

WOLVERINE: Go write about it on your LiveJournal, *****.

 

[shigsy2003]

Hi

Another awesome one. That was ace, the Fight Club reference was amazing

 

[thedarks0ldier]

seemed longer than five minutes. but oh well. Still hilarious at many points.

He was talking about how long it took to type it, yea, he's that good

BTW, zev, you are now the funniest person alive,

RIP Mitch Hedberg

 

[thedarks0ldier]

I enjoyed this more then the movie.

 

[Ronny Shade]

good god that was brilliant.




and I dont give that out lightly

 

[Angry Sentinel]

MAGNETO: ...RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!

SOUTH PARK XMEN... the only way to jibe!!

 

[Iceman]

Five-Minute Spider-Man 3.

There ya go.

You should make a career out of this.

 

[Ronny Shade]

MAGNETO: The Army is killing us with needles? What is this, a Cronenberg movie?

I love it

 

[oneteen]

Even though I don't get most of the things on there, well done!

 

[Herr Logan]

Get a girlfriend and a life, dude.

Nobody forced you to read it, if in fact you even read the whole thing, "dude."

Go figure out where you belong, trashling.

 

[Bat Brain]

Ah, that cheered me up after my ****ty day. Excellent work Zev, as always.

 

[MoviesKickAss]

The only thing I would add is after Wolverine did all those Speeches & then after he got Storms approval of the last one I would have did a little addition where itd say Juggernaut started crying & says something like "they were beautiful"

 

[YJ1]

I can't believe I caught the "Hot Shots" reference.

Very funny!

(Gives Zev a standing ovation.) FUNNY Stuff!!!

I caught that Hot Shots reference myself. I'd have noticed it sooner but my eyes are ceramic. Caught a bazooka round at Little Big Horn. Or was it Okinawa? The one without the Indians...

 

[flavio_lebeau]

PHOENIX: I'm taking a siesta.

Zev, really, congrats. This one single line made my day again

 

[Sandman138]

STORM: We are gathered here today to pay tribute to Xavier, who in the comics ended up having sex with some alien chick who had a sideways mohawk. He died, as is traditional for mentor characters in Campbellian story arcs.

WOLVERINE: Why!? I hate Campbellian storytelling!

STORM: So do all who live through such times. But that is not for us to decide. All we have to do is decide what to do with the time that is given us.

MAGNETO: ***** stole my line!

That was ****ing brilliant. As was this:

FANS: Boo! Since when does Magneto have a vehement, unreasoning hatred, a "prejudice" if you will, against humans?

MAGNETO: Maybe... since that time I tried to commit genocide?

 

[Cyclops]

For those of you who don't get it - don't try. Zev is obviously greater than your small minds can comprehend. Bwahahahaha!!

 

[WorthyStevens]

WARREN WORTHINGTON II: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO: Warren, are you in there? Warren, come out here right now! We've talked about *********ion euphemisms as code for puberty with Spider-Man. Remember, webbing is not...

WARREN WORTHINGTON III: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK: Coming dad!

WARREN WORTHINGTON II: JUDGMENT DAY: Oh my God! You've caught bird flu!

ANGEL: Hey, remember me? I'm one of the thousand subplots.

WARREN WORTHINGTON II: DIE HARDER: Now to force you into a life choice you don't want, just as all good fathers do.

ANGEL: How 'bout no?

DR. RAO: I was a terrorist on 24!

ANGEL: I'm outta here!

R. LEE ERMEY: Everyone, metal weapons are SO last year! This year, the latest craze is PLASTIC WEAPONS!

SOLDIERS: Say, since we're guarding the Cure clinic with Cure weaponry, why not just shoot all the mutants standing in line?

R. LEE ERMEY: WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION!?

My favorites. Just awesome work, Zev.

 

[Sue-Twin]

OMG!!! Thats was soooo good. I loooooove the Joss Wheadon and Buffy song you through in there! Buffy rocks.