For you beautiful ladies out there...

[Zero_Vault]

I got this in my mail. I wonder who the creator is.

"If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition
(or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant
to be.

Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find
what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you
deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends."
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like
he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at
yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different
women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat
you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers
you, speak up. Never let a man know everything.
He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's
behavior.
Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even
if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two
way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute
about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship
consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are,
and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man.
(Hallelujah, thank you Jesus!)
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone smile, another
rethink her choices, and another woman prepare. They say it takes a
minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them."

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

more femine self righteous bull****.

"Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even
if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less."

then women need to stop acting like THEY are the "quasi-gods"... she is a woman, nothing more, nothing less.

i hate that self righteous bull****.

 

[C.F. Kane]

You know, swap the genders on every gender-oriented word in this passage, and it will still hold true.

 

[Cylon]

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different
women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat
you any differently?

Divorce? The women cheated on him? They died of cancer?

 

[Logan's Runt]

Divorce? The women cheated on him? They died of cancer?

Obviously all those things are the man's fault and therefore he is a bad, bad man.

 

[Eggyman]

You know, swap the genders on every gender-oriented word in this passage, and it will still hold true.

I've never used this before; I will now: QFT

 

[Immortalfire]

Who sent you this, Lifetime TV?

 

[Eggyman]

Who sent you this, Lifetime TV?

Banky: Alright, now see this? This is a four-way road, OK? And dead in the center is a crisp, new, hundred dollar bill. Now, at the end of each of these streets are four people, OK? Are you following?
Holden: Yeah.
Banky: Good. Over here, we have a male-affectionate, easy to get along with, non-political agenda lesbian. Down here, we have a man-hating, angry as *****, agenda of rage, bitter dyke. Over here, we got Santa Claus, and up here the Easter Bunny. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first?
Holden: What is this supposed to prove?
Banky: No, I'm serious. This is a serious exercise. It's like an SAT question. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first? The male-friendly lesbian, the man-hating dyke, Santa Claus, or the Easter bunny?
Holden: The man-hating dyke.
Banky: Good. Why?
Holden: I don't know.
Banky: Because the other three are figments of your *****ing imagination!



Love that film. t:​

 

[Erzengel]

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Preferably, 2 at a time.

 

[The Lizard]

So why is this advice just for "beautiful ladies?"

Isn't it useful for the uggos too?

 

[Logan's Runt]

So why is this advice just for "beautiful ladies?"

Isn't it useful for the uggos too?

The uggos are supposed to get the loser guys, duh. The pretty people get the good ones.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Between the thread title, the email, the "realizations" people have come to, and now the Kevin Smith movie scene, where he thinks he's being clever but he's not at all in any way because we know what the punch line's going to be the second he says Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny...this is a ______ explosion!

"If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

Bloney. How about Iraq, or Prison, or on a more mundane level, you've been accepted to Yale but he has a life built in Seatte.
People that want eachother also have overriding life goals, that they had before they even met the person they want.
Life is not a Nora Ephron movie where everything ends happily.
Some people want to be together but can not.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Bloney. Tons of guys stay for money, as "kept" men. I know a guy that's with his wife, hates her ****ing guts, does not want to stay, but is going to counseling, not for her, but just for their children.
Tons of things will make a man stay even when he doesn't want the chick.

Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant
to be.

People seem to think that changing for a relationship is always a bad thing. It's not. If I used to go out partying and getting blacked out drunk every night, that's the "real me", but change is a MUST if I want to have a good relationship.
If you're a lard-ass, you shouldn't use the admonition above as an excuse to continue to wallow in your girth. If you care about your loved one, you'll have to change in many ways....FOR them.

Next, what is this "wasn't meant to be" crap?
Meant by WHO? God, Cupid, Aphrodite?
Humans are so terrified of taking responsibility in this life because it's so short and we're so imperfect.
There is no such thing as a relationship that's "meant to be".

You meet people.
If you mutually like each other, and enjoy each other's company, you may want to embark upon a "relationship".
It may work out.
It may not.
It's failure may be your fault, or the other party's fault, but most likely, you're just not compatible, or are both at fault.

The fact that, after time, you learn that you're not compatible, does not mean there is some Voodoo God watching you from above, upset that you got into this dead end relationship because it wasn't what he INTENDED you to do.

Believe me, fate and destiny do not even know who you are, much less give a rat's ass about who you're doing the nasty monkey dance with.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you
deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends."

Bloney, I've seen it.
Especially with Christians, who are commanded to love their neighbor as themself and turn the other cheek and forgive all insults and injuries.

A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Bulls***. Real close friends mistreat each other at times. That's how you know they genuinely love each other because they work it out, apologize/forgive, and move on, and some day they even laugh about it.

Whoever wrote this is brainless, as if a friend never had reason to say "I'm SO sorry. " to another friend.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at
yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

Now this b**** can tell the future!

Never let a man know everything.
He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's
behavior.

Yeah! Men need to bend over backward to provide the intimacy and honesty that women require, but don't reciprocate, because men are ALL vindictive and cruel. That's just how they all are, and as we've learned from this treatise, Men CAN'T change, and Women shouldn't ever HAVE to change.


What horsedung.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

No human can give another everything they need.
I thought women weren't supposed to depend on men to complete them.
Now the woman is handing over all responsibility for her needs to the Man?!?

Wow, if you're not the one who can get everything you need, but rather he is, maybe he is more important than you and you should treat him accordingly.











Other than those parts, the advice is right on, but it's still offensive because it's COMMON. F***ING. SENSE., so the writer must think the audience is comprised of idiots.

 

[Erzengel]

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

Your goal: To try and make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place.

These are better.

 

[terry78]

Far be it from me to interject on a thread I haven't created, but if I see one more relationship/love thread on here, I am honestly going to stab someone with a virtual knife.

 

[The Lizard]

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. [/b]

Heh.

"Don't argue when he suggests a threesome with your best girlfriend."

"Don't be dumb enough to suggest a threesome with him and another guy, because - duh - that's just gross and it ain't gonna happen."

 

[C.F. Kane]

Banky: Alright, now see this? This is a four-way road, OK? And dead in the center is a crisp, new, hundred dollar bill. Now, at the end of each of these streets are four people, OK? Are you following?
Holden: Yeah.
Banky: Good. Over here, we have a male-affectionate, easy to get along with, non-political agenda lesbian. Down here, we have a man-hating, angry as *****, agenda of rage, bitter dyke. Over here, we got Santa Claus, and up here the Easter Bunny. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first?
Holden: What is this supposed to prove?
Banky: No, I'm serious. This is a serious exercise. It's like an SAT question. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first? The male-friendly lesbian, the man-hating dyke, Santa Claus, or the Easter bunny?
Holden: The man-hating dyke.
Banky: Good. Why?
Holden: I don't know.
Banky: Because the other three are figments of your *****ing imagination!



Love that film. t:​

I've always taken offense to that. One of my dear friends is a male-friendly lesbian.

 

[Erzengel]

So she fools around with you?

 

[Lackey]

she's faking

 

[C.F. Kane]

So she fools around with you?

No, male-friendly means exactly that. She is friendly with men. I am a male and she is friendly towards me. She is my friend.

 

[Erzengel]

Then she's not male friendly.

 

[Eggyman]

I've always taken offense to that. One of my dear friends is a male-friendly lesbian.

Hahaha, don't worry about it, dude, it's not true anyway -- I get presents off Santa every year.

 

[Mee]

I've always taken offense to that. One of my dear friends is a male-friendly lesbian.

Kevin Smith doesn't care about Lesbian people.

 

[Eggyman]

Kevin Smith doesn't care about Lesbian people.

Oh, I'm sure he does hehehe.

Actually, I don't even agree with the quote I used, but I think the delivery from Jason Lee is amazing. He made those films for me that guy did.

 

[Lord Valumart]

Obviously all those things are the man's fault and therefore he is a bad, bad man.

well man did discover and name cancer...

 

[AhabTheArab]

The uggos are supposed to get the loser guys, duh. The pretty people get the good ones.

uggos must grab and hold on for dear life.