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A Dating Guide for Women: "Man Talk"

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A Dating Guide for Women: "Man Talk" Translation By David Wygant Special to Yahoo! Personals Updated: Jun 17, 2008


When you first look at a man and a woman, you are able to notice the subtle differences between the sexes. It is when the two sexes communicate with each other, however, that the differences become truly glaring. This is because one is speaking "he talk" while the other is speaking "she talk."
Where this difference really becomes a problem is when you are in a relationship, and you need to know how to combine "he talk" and "she talk" into "we talk." So I feel like it's my job as a man and as a dating coach to help women learn how to understand "he talk" (or "man talk" as I like to call it), so that they won't need to hire a translator to understand what men are saying.
Women want men to express their feelings. They complain, "Why can't he just say he loves me?" or, "I wish he would just compliment me more."
What you need to pay attention to and realize, though, is that men do tell you they love you and compliment you... they just do it using their own language. Men, in fact, sometimes don't use words at all when they are communicating with you.
This will help you understand men's verbal and non-verbal language.






Sometimes it's not what men say, but it's their actions that are significant. It is necessary for women to learn to interpret men's roundabout way of communicating with them.

Here are 10 things that men say and do, and what they really mean:

1.
He starts talking about how crazy all his single friends lives are, and then he tells you that he doesn't miss it at all. What most women will think if they hear this, is that he misses those days. This is not true. He says this because he is looking for confirmation that you feel exactly the same way. He also wants to communicate that he's ready to take the relationship to the next level.

2.
Since you recently took him to your family's house for dinner, he can't stop talking about how much fun he had with your brother. What he means here is that he really likes your family, and wouldn't mind being a part of your family.

3.
He teases you about things like how clumsy you are or about how you put smiley faces in every one of your emails. What he's really telling you when he does this is that he really likes you a lot. Remember that men are just giant boys... we tease the ones we love and ignore the ones we don't.

4.
A man tells you he needs his space. So what does this mean to you? It means that you need to ignore him and not call him. Men love the chase. By not calling him, he'll start calling you and wondering what happened.

5.
A man says that he really wants you to meet his parents. What does this mean in man talk? He's telling you that you are his girlfriend, and that he is ready to take it to the next level by getting you involved with his family. This brings us right to the next bit of man talk.

6.
When a man calls you and says, "I want you to meet my friends on Friday night," this is as big as meeting his parents. He's introducing you to his pack. It means that he thinks you are attractive and sexy, and he wants to show you off to his friends.

7.
After sleeping over at his house several times, he tells you that the next time you sleep over you should bring some things to make you feel more comfortable and a change of clothing. In man talk, that is basically telling you that he's wondering what it would be like to live with you. He also wants your things around.

8.
You have plans with him on a Sunday, and you find out that he passed up floor seats to his favorite basketball team to keep those plans with you. What does that tell you in man talk? It tells you that he's hooked... and that you are his girlfriend.

9.
He is watching one of your favorite shows on a night you're not together, and he calls you afterwards to talk about it. In man talk, what does this mean? By doing this, he's telling you that he pays attention to you, and he's interested in learning more about you and sharing more things with you. Men generally do not choose to watch "Project Runway" on their own. If we're watching your TV shows, we really like you.

10.
He tells you, "I've cleaned today." What this means in man talk is, "I spent the day doing something I dislike more than anything." You need to realize that when a man says this to you, he really likes you. To most men, cleaning the house is just about the worst way he can spend a day.








Once you understand the hidden language and actions of man talk, you'll become far more secure in your dating and relationships. So the next time you go over to your man's house and he looks at you and says, "I cleaned today," you'll know that he really meant to say, "I must really like you, because I can ignore my mess most of the time."
*************


ok some of this is iffy like 9.
 
That was pretty stupid.

Dating advice articles are usually pretty dumb, ESPECIALLY the "what does he really mean??" articles.

Half of those points are basic common sense, while the other half can be interpreted in any number of ways. Who the hell says to their girl "I cleaned the house today" as some sort of coded message that really means "I really like you".
 
Here's all women need to know about men.

EVERYTHING MEN WANT

1. A blow job

2. A sandwhich

3. For you to shut the f**k up every once in a while

That's it ladies, that's as deep as it goes. As soon as you accept this, the easier it will be for everyone.
 
Alright, let's break this down because ultimately every individual has their own code completely.

1. He starts talking about how crazy all his single friends lives are, and then he tells you that he doesn't miss it at all. What most women will think if they hear this, is that he misses those days. This is not true. He says this because he is looking for confirmation that you feel exactly the same way. He also wants to communicate that he's ready to take the relationship to the next level.

When I start talking about all the crazy things my friends are doing, ultimately I'm trying to say i want to join them, This is trollocks. I don't care about what my girlfriend is doing or wanting her to suffer as much as I am for the sake of each other. This is nonesense.

2. Since you recently took him to your family's house for dinner, he can't stop talking about how much fun he had with your brother. What he means here is that he really likes your family, and wouldn't mind being a part of your family.

If I'm talking about how nice her brother is, then there are some serious problems. I try not to form attachments to relatives or friends of girlfriends because I know it's all pretend. As soon as we finish, i'll never see the bastards again so why bother. If i'm talking about her brother, it's to fill a void of dull dull silence.

3. He teases you about things like how clumsy you are or about how you put smiley faces in every one of your emails. What he's really telling you when he does this is that he really likes you a lot. Remember that men are just giant boys... we tease the ones we love and ignore the ones we don't.
THis is pretty spot on, I do make fun of people i like more regularly, dunno why really.

4. A man tells you he needs his space. So what does this mean to you? It means that you need to ignore him and not call him. Men love the chase. By not calling him, he'll start calling you and wondering what happened.
This is spot on as well, I need complete and total isolation until i can come roudn to things on my own terms. NOw maybe that may seem a lil bit selfish at times but I find it's the best way for me to deal with certain issues without causing resentment so inthe long term it is for the best.

5. A man says that he really wants you to meet his parents. What does this mean in man talk? He's telling you that you are his girlfriend, and that he is ready to take it to the next level by getting you involved with his family. This brings us right to the next bit of man talk.
I don't think i'll ever want anyone to really meet my parents but if i simply wanted them to meet my parents, it probably means i think they are the one and the ***** is trapped for life. No way out, no divorce nonesense, it's till death.

6. When a man calls you and says, "I want you to meet my friends on Friday night," this is as big as meeting his parents. He's introducing you to his pack. It means that he thinks you are attractive and sexy, and he wants to show you off to his friends.
Actually this is the opposite, I'll introduce someone to meet my friends to make sure she isn't ugly, it doesn't really mean anything but the closer the friends, the longer it'll take to get to this stage. There are certain people I couldn't deal with giving me a hard time about a partner.

7. After sleeping over at his house several times, he tells you that the next time you sleep over you should bring some things to make you feel more comfortable and a change of clothing. In man talk, that is basically telling you that he's wondering what it would be like to live with you. He also wants your things around.
This simply means I don't want he using my toothbrush and nicking my and wearing all my clothes or going through my stuff and finding past romantic clothing from ladies of yore...

8. You have plans with him on a Sunday, and you find out that he passed up floor seats to his favorite basketball team to keep those plans with you. What does that tell you in man talk? It tells you that he's hooked... and that you are his girlfriend.
This just means i've ****ed up in a bad way and I'm trying to say i'm sorry, don't see this situation happening for any other reason.

9. He is watching one of your favorite shows on a night you're not together, and he calls you afterwards to talk about it. In man talk, what does this mean? By doing this, he's telling you that he pays attention to you, and he's interested in learning more about you and sharing more things with you. Men generally do not choose to watch "Project Runway" on their own. If we're watching your TV shows, we really like you.
I'm trying to have sex with you.

10. He tells you, "I've cleaned today." What this means in man talk is, "I spent the day doing something I dislike more than anything." You need to realize that when a man says this to you, he really likes you. To most men, cleaning the house is just about the worst way he can spend a day.
This may simply mean "I've cleaned today" or "You better be giving it up this weekend, it's about ****ing time".
 
^
I agree with NR about #8.

He's f'ed up and f'ed up bad. No self assured, level headed girl (barring extenuating circumstances) would make you cancel plans let alone plans that cost you $150 a ticket in order for you to spend time with her.
 
I don't believe #8 one bit. If I've got tickets to the game, I'm going to the game.
 
I don't agree with that list in the first post. It seems women would do that more than men.

Here's all women need to know about men.

EVERYTHING MEN WANT

1. A blow job

2. A sandwhich

3. For you to shut the f**k up every once in a while

That's it ladies, that's as deep as it goes. As soon as you accept this, the easier it will be for everyone.

This list, however, I agree with.
 
*takes notes* I'm likin' this list.
but i have a few problems with it...
8. ok what is wrong with him? keep the floor seating, moron! sure i would have preferred him to go to a football game rather basketball. still- floor seating! i'm not a huge sports fan but i know the meaning of those words. :o
9. yeah stalkerish much? watch your own shows, if there's something we both like- great, if not, then oh well. i'll live. who wants late night phone calls over a tv show? unless it's Lost, wel lthen maybe I'll make en exception....:woot:
10. i dunno, yet another why to oh so subtley hint that the guy 'likes' her. why put yourself through all the trouble,dude? spit it out. 3 little words. see? you get it off your chest and not have to do something as horrible as cleaning(although some guys might just like to clean...and if so, thanks to this guide I've read too much into what he says.)
 
Project Runway is awesome, there are some real talented people on that show. It's made me start respecting clothes' designers alot more
 
That article is stupid. #8 is absolutely appalling. If I have tickets to the game, I sure as hell am going to go with or without her.
 
In all honesty the whole thing is rather absurd for the simple factthat not all men think alike. This is the biggest problem with articles like this is that just because somebody is 1 gfender doesn't mean they are exact replicas of each other. Some people might be saying "i like you're family" by saying the brother is cool, or some might be saying "I only like your brother, the rest suck", or some might just be saying "I like your brother" with no hidden message there at all.

People need to stop trying to master the general thinking habits of a gender and just focus on finding out what their specific partner means instead.
 
not really, there are plenty of people i want to have sex with that I don't like, especially ones really i don't like to be honest.
 
I think the list is more for the neurotic girls out there who need to be reassured all the time that their boyfriend actually does like them, even if he doesn't say it. A lot of these are pretty common things that happen during a relationship as it gets more serious. Truthfully a girl that neurotic, that needed to be reassured that much, most guys would just get what they need and broom her fast. Not worth the trouble.
 
"I'm trying to have sex with you" = any word that comes out of our mouth directed at a female.
 
Haha, I actually asked my boyfriend about this article last night :o He said a few were correct, but most of the article was ********.
 
Haha! Ohhhh, the age old mystery of the differences between the sexes. Researchers, scientists, poets and philosophers have tried for centuries to unlock these mysteries and enable men and women to finally understand one another explicitly and implicitly. Not until now have these cryptic riddles been deciphered by one Mark Wygant, a freelance blogger from Yahoo! Personals. Thank the stars above for Mr. Wygant for he truly has blessed this world with this incredible knowledge that he and he alone has been able to accumulate and document for all the world to see!

jag
 
This article reminds me of this, one of those damned forwards :whatever:

A True Boyfriend
- Give her a hoodie of yours to wear so other people know she is yours.
- Leave her sweet texts to wake up to.
- Sneak up behind her.
- Grab her by the waist.
- Do anything to make her smile.
- Always make her laugh.
- Tell her shes beautiful, not sexy.
- Tell her she has amazing eyes.
- When your friends walk by, say, "This is my girlfriend."
- Say I love you to her face not JUST over the phone.
- If she's sad, take her in your arms and tell her everything will be okay.
- NEVER cheat on her.
- Kiss her on the forehead.
- When you walk with her, walk slowly.
- Tickle her, even when she says stop.
- Don't say I love you unless you mean it.
- Listen to her when she talks.
- Tell her your secrets.
- Protect her.
- Brush any hair out of her face and say something chessy like: "Sorry, I just want to see your beautiful face." and add a cheesy smile. Girls love it.
 
Be warned about that forward, 'fire. I think something like 80% of the women I know have had that as their facebook profile or an AIM profile at one point or another :o
 
My niece is a hopeless romantic, and sends this junk to every person on her contact list.
 
Be warned about that forward, 'fire. I think something like 80% of the women I know have had that as their facebook profile or an AIM profile at one point or another :o

And that fact that no men have any profiles listing off what their perfect girlfriend would proves how much we don't care about those. If a dude actually hits one of those criteria usually it's by accident.
 

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