A Dating Guide for Women: "Man Talk"

[AndThePickles]

And that fact that no men have any profiles listing off what their perfect girlfriend would proves how much we don't care about those. If a dude actually hits one of those criteria usually it's by accident.

I'm letting you boys know that that list is what a lot of women are expecting, though. lol

 

[kainedamo]

I always hate those cheesy email forwards.

They're so damn tacky.

 

[Immortalfire]

- Give her a hoodie of yours to wear so other people know she is yours.
What if they don't know I own said hoodie?

- Leave her sweet texts to wake up to.
Knowing my luck, texting "Good morning" would be responded with "What is that supposed to mean?!"

- Sneak up behind her.
And have her become prone to panic attacks? No thanks.

- Grab her by the waist.
- Tickle her, even when she says stop.
What are these, first attempted rape tips?

- Do anything to make her smile.
- Always make her laugh.
Good ideas.

- Tell her she's beautiful, not sexy.
If you say so

- Tell her she has amazing eyes.
I love some amazing eyes.

- When your friends walk by, say, "This is my girlfriend."
That could come across as pathetically desperate.

- Say I love you to her face not JUST over the phone.
Noted.

- If she's sad, take her in your arms and tell her everything will be okay.
My best buddy tried that once, and his gf yelled at him for thirty minutes about sensitivity.

- NEVER cheat on her.
That should go without saying.

- Kiss her on the forehead.
Why?

- When you walk with her, walk slowly.
I'd have to practice, I'm an unintentional fast walker.

- Don't say I love you unless you mean it.
Done.

- Listen to her when she talks.
I listen to everyone.

- Tell her your secrets.
Baby...I once sang along to the Bee Gees.

- Protect her.
From what?

- Brush any hair out of her face and say something chessy like: "Sorry, I just want to see your beautiful face." and add a cheesy smile. Girls love it.
Typically, any cheesy line like that gets met with an eye roll and no response.

 

[kainedamo]

I think girls like being told they're beautiful AND sexy.

 

[AndThePickles]

I think girls like being told they're beautiful AND sexy.

Very much so.

 

[jaguarr]

"Tell her she's beautiful, not sexy."

Haha! Honey, you are beautiful, NOT sexy!

jag

 

[AndThePickles]

"Tell her she's beautiful, not sexy."

Haha! Honey, you are beautiful, NOT sexy!

jag

Haha yeah, I think that's the worst one on the list. Good way to get dumped

 

[Erzengel]

Ha, I'm a fast walker too and I always have to have to wait so she can catch up. LOL

 

[Alex The Great]

Here's all women need to know about men.

EVERYTHING MEN WANT

1. A blow job

2. A sandwhich

3. For you to shut the f**k up every once in a while

That's it ladies, that's as deep as it goes. As soon as you accept this, the easier it will be for everyone.

also,
here's some other stuff thingies
1. If we have tickets to the game, i'm GOING to the game!
2. Men want Women to shut the freak up once in a while.
3. Men DO NOT want to go to a play. Shakespear crap. ugh. Do it once in a while with your GF but...please...not on every date. A man can't stand the boredom
4. Give the guys a minute, it takes us a minute to figure out stuff sometimes .

 

[Joker]

3. Men DO NOT want to go to a play. Shakespear crap. ugh. Do it once in a while with your GF but...please...not on every date. A man can't stand the boredom

Not always true. I'm down for MacBeth whenever. And I've seen awesome productions of 1984 and The Invisible Man on my own. It all depends on the play. If she wants to see Mama Mia, or some crap like that, she can go alone though

 

[Immortalfire]

Twelfth Night is where it's at.

 

[Eggyman]

- Kiss her on the forehead.
Why?

There's an invisible button there that opens their legs.

- Protect her.
From what?

Other people pushing the button

 

[jaguarr]

3. Men DO NOT want to go to a play. Shakespear crap. ugh. Do it once in a while with your GF but...please...not on every date. A man can't stand the boredom

Hehe! Sounds like someone doesn't understand Shakespeare.

jag

 

[kytrigger]

You know, I tried the "sneak up behind her" and "grab her by the waist" stuff before.

I spent the night in jail....

 

[kane9321]

8. You have plans with him on a Sunday, and you find out that he passed up floor seats to his favorite basketball team to keep those plans with you. What does that tell you in man talk? It tells you that he's hooked... and that you are his girlfriend.

This just means i've ****ed up in a bad way and I'm trying to say i'm sorry, don't see this situation happening for any other reason.

Like a dumbass I did that once (instead of going to a sharks playoff games which the damed tickets were $200.00) I stayed home to be with my g/f to end a fight we were having...I still wound up getting yelled at

Quote:
9. He is watching one of your favorite shows on a night you're not together, and he calls you afterwards to talk about it. In man talk, what does this mean? By doing this, he's telling you that he pays attention to you, and he's interested in learning more about you and sharing more things with you. Men generally do not choose to watch "Project Runway" on their own. If we're watching your TV shows, we really like you.

I'm trying to have sex with you.



These are correct in every way

 

[terry78]

8. You have plans with him on a Sunday, and you find out that he passed up floor seats to his favorite basketball team to keep those plans with you. What does that tell you in man talk? It tells you that he's hooked... and that you are his girlfriend.

This just means i've ****ed up in a bad way and I'm trying to say i'm sorry, don't see this situation happening for any other reason.

Like a dumbass I did that once (instead of going to a sharks playoff games which the damed tickets were $200.00) I stayed home to be with my g/f to end a fight we were having...I still wound up getting yelled at

Quote:
9. He is watching one of your favorite shows on a night you're not together, and he calls you afterwards to talk about it. In man talk, what does this mean? By doing this, he's telling you that he pays attention to you, and he's interested in learning more about you and sharing more things with you. Men generally do not choose to watch "Project Runway" on their own. If we're watching your TV shows, we really like you.

I'm trying to have sex with you.



These are correct in every way

Oh, I've sat on the phone with a girl for an hour to watch The Bachelor. Hoping it would lead somewhere when I saw her later the next day. It didn't.

 

[Immortalfire]

8. You have plans with him on a Sunday, and you find out that he passed up floor seats to his favorite basketball team to keep those plans with you. What does that tell you in man talk? It tells you that he's hooked... and that you are his girlfriend.

This just means i've ****ed up in a bad way and I'm trying to say i'm sorry, don't see this situation happening for any other reason.

Like a dumbass I did that once (instead of going to a sharks playoff games which the damed tickets were $200.00) I stayed home to be with my g/f to end a fight we were having...I still wound up getting yelled at

RIP kane's manliness

 

[PyroChamber]

I think girls like being told they're beautiful AND sexy.

Even if they're not, yes I said it.

- Protect her.
From what?

I'll protect my lady at all costs, but if a gun gets involved then we both start running.

Also, don't get upset if a guy works alot. Chances are he's working for you and him so you both can be happy. Sure you want his attention, but those bills have his attention even more (this comes from watching too much Cheaters).

 

[terry78]

Even if they're not, yes I said it.

I'll protect my lady at all costs, but if a gun gets involved then we both start running.

Also, don't get upset if a guy works alot. Chances are he's working for you and him so you both can be happy.

Human shield, mother****er.

"Here, stand in front of me so I can....push you out of harms' way."

 

[imdaly]

Y'know, for me, this article is pretty spot on. Just thinking about my current girlfriend, I can apply a lot of situations I've had with her to these points:

1. He starts talking about how crazy all his single friends lives are, and then he tells you that he doesn't miss it at all. What most women will think if they hear this, is that he misses those days. This is not true. He says this because he is looking for confirmation that you feel exactly the same way. He also wants to communicate that he's ready to take the relationship to the next level.

I haven't done this myself yet...probably because my girlfriend and I are definitely the craziest of my friends anyway, but yes, I could see myself pointing out how I don't miss things about the single life simply because I'm liking what I have now, and saying that as a way to kinda hear that back that she feels the same way too...that the "sacrifices" are worth it.

2.Since you recently took him to your family's house for dinner, he can't stop talking about how much fun he had with your brother. What he means here is that he really likes your family, and wouldn't mind being a part of your family.

My girlfriend's mom is awesome. We got along instantly and we talk a lot whenever we're around each other while I'm waiting on my gf to get ready or whatever, and I love that. And I've pointed that out to my gf, too. To me, if I get along with her family...that's a great sign.

3. He teases you about things like how clumsy you are or about how you put smiley faces in every one of your emails. What he's really telling you when he does this is that he really likes you a lot. Remember that men are just giant boys... we tease the ones we love and ignore the ones we don't.

Absolutely. In fact, if I don't tease you and make fun of you...be worried. Probably means I don't like you.

4. A man tells you he needs his space. So what does this mean to you? It means that you need to ignore him and not call him. Men love the chase. By not calling him, he'll start calling you and wondering what happened.

For me, it's not so much the chase, but knowing that while we feel like we always want to be together, I need to know that she can still have a good day even if I'm not there, and vice versa. I don't want a relationship where we can't survive without each other...I want a relationship where we're fine in our time apart, and that our time together is just even better.

5. A man says that he really wants you to meet his parents. What does this mean in man talk? He's telling you that you are his girlfriend, and that he is ready to take it to the next level by getting you involved with his family. This brings us right to the next bit of man talk.

Absolutely. Just like getting along with HER family, I want her to see that she can get along wtih MY family. Make her feel more like a part of the family.

6. When a man calls you and says, "I want you to meet my friends on Friday night," this is as big as meeting his parents. He's introducing you to his pack. It means that he thinks you are attractive and sexy, and he wants to show you off to his friends.

Again, spot on for me. I want to show her off to my friends (and prove she actually exists! haha) and also let her into more of my world. If you can't get along with my friends, that's gonna lead to some problems when we all get together for things.

7. After sleeping over at his house several times, he tells you that the next time you sleep over you should bring some things to make you feel more comfortable and a change of clothing. In man talk, that is basically telling you that he's wondering what it would be like to live with you. He also wants your things around.

I love it when she wears my clothes, but it's also a great feeling to see her bring her things over, because I get a look at what her habits are at night when she has all of her "tools" at her disposal. It also helps her be more comfortable around me.

8. You have plans with him on a Sunday, and you find out that he passed up floor seats to his favorite basketball team to keep those plans with you. What does that tell you in man talk? It tells you that he's hooked... and that you are his girlfriend.

Now, I'm not into sports at all, so I can't literally compare myself to this. But I have cancelled other plans to be with her. But really...with my gf...if it's something important enough to me that I REALLY want to go...she goes with me!

9. He is watching one of your favorite shows on a night you're not together, and he calls you afterwards to talk about it. In man talk, what does this mean? By doing this, he's telling you that he pays attention to you, and he's interested in learning more about you and sharing more things with you. Men generally do not choose to watch "Project Runway" on their own. If we're watching your TV shows, we really like you.

I got hooked on "Grey's Anatomy" and "Private Practice" because of a girl I was into last year. She loved those shows, I thought I'd give them a chance....watched nearly every episode of all 4 seasons on my own time at home.

10. He tells you, "I've cleaned today." What this means in man talk is, "I spent the day doing something I dislike more than anything." You need to realize that when a man says this to you, he really likes you. To most men, cleaning the house is just about the worst way he can spend a day.

Absolutely. After I met the girl who I know am dating, I cleaned...and my sister (who's a roommate) noticed and asked me "Soooo...who'd you meet?" haha. If I clean, it's because of a girl.