I really, really can't believe I'm doing this. I mean, really. But, hey, if you can't have fun in a web-based role-playing game, I dunno what the world's coming to.
If anyone gets annoyed or offended about this application (which is entirely serious, by the way)... then... um. I have no idea what to tell you. Please step back from the computer, evaluate your life, and realize that this is a game on a superhero message board.
From The Pages Of... RPG APPLICATION
Screen Name: Matt Murdock
Character you'd like to portray: Peter Griffin
Superhuman powers, traits, other attributes of interest: Peter has no attributes of interest. He's a beer-loving, mischief-causing, New England family man. With his wife, Lois, daughter, Meg, sons, Stewie and Chris, and best friend, Brian the Dog, Peter often gets involved in benign, idiotic, and outrageous situations. He is bound by the laws of
cartoon physics, but, for the most part, the situations he finds himself in are entirely plausible. He has gone through dozens of events that would kill a regular person, and has come out unscathed. Though it may be difficult to bring this to a game of the serious nature of
From the Pages Of..., I think it only serves as a challenge, and could only accentuate Peter's heroic nature if he's practically immortal. Also of note is that it is somewhat unclear as to whether or not Peter can break the fourth wall. He's spoken to the audience of the show several times, but has never made a definite address to the viewers.
Originally appearing from (which comic, and company?): Family Guy as published by
Devil's Due
Fictional history of the character (as you're going to interpret it): Living the same life as his television counterpart, Peter is an Irish African-American ******ed illegal Mexican immigrant living in the suburbs of Rhode Island with his attractive wife and talking dog. His baby has a British accent for no apparent reason, and he has made mortal enemies out of James Woods, a giant chicken, and countless others. Spending his days at 31 Spooner Street, in Quahog, Peter is a character who lives the epitome of a normal life and, yet, always gets himself into some sort of crazy scenario.
Hero, Villain, or Walking the line?: Hero
List a few reasons why you chose this character: I'd like to get better as a comedic writer and I like Peter Griffin. I'm a big fan of
Family Guy, and hope to do the character justice. That's really about it.
Write two complete sentences explaining what you can bring to this RPG: I'm pretty dedicated to most, if not all, of the games I play in. Things have gotten rough schedule-wise in the past, but, for the majority, I've kept my commitments in the games I play in. Also, I can bring the face of a character that has a chin shaped strangely like male reproductive organs.
That is to say that they look like testicles.
How many days a week you intend on posting in the RPG: Completely depends on the action.
Please provide a small sample post as your character, at least three paragraphs and one line of dialogue in length:
It seems today, that all you see...
Seated upon his comfortable couch, watching an episode of
Cheers, Peter Griffin smiled to himself. He was having a wonderful day, watching television, drinking beer, and occasionally letting his flatulence escape his control. His wife, Lois, entered the living room of their home, carrying their son, Stewie, with her.
She placed the boy next to his father, and kissed him kindly on the head.
"Peter, I'm going out with Bonnie. Make sure Stewie is asleep by 8:15. Chris has a report for school tomorrow, and Meg has to get ready for a geography presentation."
"Alright, honey, I'll have all of that taken care of by the time you get home." Peter said with a smile, not even taking his eyes off the TV.
Lois eyed him cautiously. She knew better than to trust him with menial tasks. It wasn't that he didn't have a good heart, it was just that... well... being married to a ******ed man took effort, that was all there was to say.
"Yes, that's a perfectly good idea, Lois." Stewie sarcastically touted.
"Leave the ******ed Mexican in charge of your infant son and the education of your children."
"Aw, Stewie doesn't want me to go." Lois said, patting her son on the head.
"Don't worry, sweetie, Mommy'll be home before you know it."
"Yes, of course she will." The boy hissed, batting her hands away angrily,
"Provided, of course, that there's a home for her to come to. Has she forgotten what the fat man did the last time she was out, mm? As I recall he had all of the celebrities he knows over, and we all know how well that turned out."
•••••
The Griffin's living room was full of celebrities. A make-shift stage had been crafted out of the bottom of the stairs, and Peter, dressed in a fine suit, made his way onto it, gripping a microphone.
"Everyone, I'd like to thank you all for coming, you all look magnificent."Spotting someone in the crowd, he cried out happily,"Farrah! You look wonderful."
He shifted on the stage and smiled. "We have a slew of guests tonight, I'm glad you were all able to come out. Tonight, though, is a special night for all of us. In just a few minutes, we'll have two of the greatest musical geniuses in the world. One of them is sure to Thrill you,"He said with a snicker, "and the other will knock your socks off with some terrific, terrific guitar playing."
The doorbell rang, and Peter scurried off stage, passing an older gentleman, painting an elaborate, though fancifully realistic caricature of Glenn Quagmire.
"Wow, Andrew,"Peter said, passing the artist,"you really capture Quagmire's chin, there. Great stuff!"
He opened the door, only to be greeted with the familiar blackness of an empty hood.
"Uh oh."Peter muttered. "Can you come back in, like, five minutes? Michael Jackson and Les Paul are about to duet."
•••••
"A celebrity death joke?" Peter's dog and best friend, Brian, asked, pulling himself up onto the couch.
"Really?"
"Beggers can't be choosers, Brian." Stewie snapped.
The pair's conversation was suddenly interrupted when Mayor Adam West burst through the door to their home.
"Griffin!" He cried, as Stewie and Brian bolted away.
"Uh... Yeah, Mayor West?" Peter asked quietly.
"I was just out, doing my nightly laps around Quahog's suburban streets, when I saw the most terrible thing on someone's television set!"
A breaking news bulletin suddenly interrupted
Cheers, and Peter and Mayor West were suddenly faced with the news duo of Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons.
"Our report on your latest failed pregnancy will have to wait, Diane, because it looks like the world of Quahog has been invaded by a cast of characters that are completely and utterly... normal?"
"That's right, Tom. Indiana Jones, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and even the Spirit, a fanciful character thought only to exist in comic books, have all been spotted in surrounding towns."
"That's what the reports are saying right now, viewers. And it looks like every person spotted has been a stereotypical adventure hero. And, of course, no news report would be complete without a consultation with our BlackUWeather Meteorologist, Ollie Williams. What character are you, Ollie?"
"I'm the token black guy!"
"Thanks, Ollie."
And, just like that, the report shifted back to the normal adventures of the patrons of Sam Malone's Bostonian Bar.
"Holy convenient plot devices!" West cried,
"Do you know what this means, Griffin?"
Peter nodded vehemently.
"That woman must be completely barren. Just... deserted. She must be like the dairy aisle on Easter. No eggs."
West simply stared at the man, dumbfounded.
Do you know how to post pictures on the Hype boards?: You bet.