Henry Golding in Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins

Well that is quicker than Black Widow.

Well Black Widow still has some box office gas left in the tank and it has premiere access on Disney+. Black Widow is still likely going to be the biggest domestic box office performer of the year when all is said and done.
 
Well Black Widow still has some box office gas left in the tank and it has premiere access on Disney+. Black Widow is still likely going to be the biggest domestic box office performer of the year when all is said and done.
Especially if No Way Home moves from December. Which is looking very likely right now.
 
Watched this earlier today and wow I am beyond floored that for some reason Paramount thought this basic, generic, forgettable movie was going to be the start of a bigger franchise.

I didn't even dislike overall and at best its an average/mediocre timewaster, but this did not deserve a theatrical release IMO, especially when its this low stakes and small in scale.

It honestly felt like I was watching something made for streaming the entire time and other than those giant CGI snakes I don't see where that $90M budget went at all.
 
It is very basic and generic. Like nothing about this movie screams franchise despite all the franchise bait that's layered in. Like watching the movie reminded me of DTV and sort of Amazon Prime and Netflix schlock. Like those schlocky action movies Netflix or Amazon Prime might recommend for you to watch.
 
This was deeply mediocre. The only good thing I can say about it is that Andrew Koji and Samara Weaving both looked really good :atp:.

Also, was it just me or was Henry Golding really bad in this? He looked so ridiculous trying to be angry and intimidating. I’ve only seen him in Crazy Rich Asians which was a pretty basic role but I had heard lots of good things about him. None of that good acting was on display here IMO :shrug:.
 
This was deeply mediocre. The only good thing I can say about it is that Andrew Koji and Samara Weaving both looked really good :atp:.

Also, was it just me or was Henry Golding really bad in this? He looked so ridiculous trying to be angry and intimidating. I’ve only seen him in Crazy Rich Asians which was a pretty basic role but I had heard lots of good things about him. None of that good acting was on display here IMO :shrug:.

Oh yeah, Golding blew it in this leading man opportunity. No charisma, no presence, no magnetism. His anger and rage weren't believable. He couldn't even maintain his accent, which was falling apart midway.
 
I enjoyed him in The Gentlemen and A Simple Favor, but Golding was super miscast here and I also just didn't like how they wrote the Snake Eyes character either with him basically playing everybody and flip flopping between the two sides which got really annoying and old after a while.

He just came off so unlikable which I put more at fault with the lazy, bad writing in this, but I kind of didn't mind some of the other characters like Akiko and Peter Mensah as Blind Master.

Andrew Koji desereved better though aswell as Iko Uwais, but atleast both were more likeable and had more presence than Snake Eyes and I thought Samara Weaving was horribly wasted in this.
 
I watched it the other day and I was bored.

I missed the cheesyness of the first film. I find there's a certain charm to that film.
 
The only good GI Joe movie:

This may sound like sacrilege to say but I argue that movie isn’t actually good either and like the Transformers The Movie it only gets thought of as good due to nostalgia. If one takes the nostalgia blinders off, it really doesn’t hold up as a movie as the dialogue and voice acting are still pretty atrocious and cheesy. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s still the “best” Joe movie but that’s more because it’s the *least* worse than because it’s actually good, imo.
 
Rewatching Rise of Cobra and Retaliation after this really made me realize just how incompentent Paramount is when it comes to this franchise.

It's like the people there just don't get it, but there are elements in both of those films that could actually work if atleast the writing was alot better.

For example, I believe Rise of Cobra had the right amount of energy and fun injected into it, but I actually prefer the more serious, gritty tone of Retaliation.

Rise of Cobra just got too cheesy at times though and the bad peformances didn't help, but atleast its a more entertaining movie than Retaliation.

They did Destro and Cobra Commander really dirty in those movies too.
 
Lorenzo di Bonaventura despises the character of Cobra Commander because he says CC wears a hood similar to the kkk. I don’t remember the Klan ever wearing a blue hood with a snake emblem on it but alas he’s a creative Harvard genius and we are morons and sub-literates who read comics so what do we know. That’s his mentality.
 
It's not like the hood is his only look.

Also, Hasbro is refusing to make any more GI Joe figures of Cobra Commander wearing the hood. So obviously what Di Bonaventura said to Hasbro struck a cord with them.

In post-Trump America, Hasbro is being overly cautious about Cobra Commander. Why is that there is a mandate now that no hoods for the figures anymore? Even Hasbro is skittish about the hood and being connected to the KKK.
 
I think this franchise could still survive; hopefully Paramount can deliver with a better sequel like they did with Retaliation.

Just get a better writer & a more competent director to film the action. This isn’t Shakespeare we’re talking about:

G.I. JOE: RESOLUTE
directed by Chris McKay

Snake Eyes is recruited by the peacekeeping organization G.I. Joe to fight alongside five elite soldiers—Duke, Scarlett, Tunnel Rat, Heavy Duty and Wild Bill—in the conflict against clandestine terrorist network Cobra.


G.I. JOE
Snake Eyes: Henry Golding, 34
Shana O’Hara / Scarlett: Samara Weaving, 29
Conrad Hauser / Duke: Glen Powell, 32
Nicky Lee / Tunnel Rat: Remy Hii, 35
Lamont A. Morris / Heavy Duty: Mike Coulter, 44
Bill Hardy / Wild Bill: Josh Lawson, 40

General Abernathy / Hawk: Bruce Greenwood, 65
Ali Burnett / Lady Jaye: Eiza González, 31
Blaine Parker / Mainframe: Lewis Pullman, 28

COBRA
Baroness: Úrsula Corberó, 32
Storm Shadow: Andrew Koji, 34
Dr. Mindbender: David Dastmalchian, 44
Cobra Commander: Luke Evans, 42 (voice)

ADDITIONAL
Dr. Adele Burkhart: Elizabeth Marvel, 51
President: David Andrews, 68
Destro: Andrew Howard, 52

PLOT

After the events of Snake Eyes, our hero is again living off the grid—this time with his pet wolf Timber in the American Northwest. Atoning for his sins and acting as a silent guardian angel vigilante for the downtrodden in Seattle, he is eventually tracked down by Agent Scarlett who offers him the chance to join G.I. Joe and save his brother-in-arms Tommy who has finally resurfaced. Now known as Storm Shadow, he is working for the nefarious shadow terrorist network Cobra.

Snake Eyes is again a fish-out-of-water but instead of exploring the secretive inner workings of the Arashikage clan, it’s the elite military squad known simply as G.I. Joe. The new team of recruits come together—or least try to—through intensive boot camp.

Led by General Hawk, the team consists of field leader Duke, second-in-command Scarlett, and Heavy Duty (chief mechanic & artillery), Tunnel Rat (demolition & infiltration), & Wild Bill (vehicle transport).
  • Snake Eyes develops a relationship with Scarlett.
  • He butts heads with Duke initially—he doesn’t like taking orders.
  • Heavy Duty, Tunnel Rat and Wild Bill serve as comedic relief.
  • Both Lady Jaye & Mainframe report directly to General Hawk and operate out of the “Hawk’s Nest” in HQ.
The Joes are tasked to rescue the missing Dr. Adele Burkhart, an outspoken genetic scientist who is discovered to be alive and held captive in an off-shore research facility by Storm Shadow and Cobra terrorists; she managed to send a distress signal & and the call was directed to the Joes.

Inside the complex, the Joes discover Cobra is developing a new top secret weapon: genetically-enhanced super soldiers known as Bio-Vipers.
  • Dr. Mindbender is introduced as Cobra’s lead scientist, using Burkhart’s research and machinery to create Cobra’s army.
Baroness has tasked Storm Shadow to train these Bio-Vipers in the way of the Arashikage clan, finally allowing him to lead a clan under his own vision.
  • Cobra Commander is present throughout as a shadowy hologram, micro-managing Baroness after her implied recent failures.
With Burkhart rescued, Duke orders the Joes retreat. Their mission is complete. Snake Eyes goes after Storm Shadow, believing there still to be some good in him. He returns the favor by detonating a bomb—destroying the complex and nearly killing the Joes, allowing the Cobra villains to escape.

This causes a rift in the team and Snakes Eyes and Duke come to blows forcing Scarlett to break it up, but Snake Eyes still leaves.

Snake Eyes drowns his sorrows in a bar, flooded by good memories of he and Tommy in Los Angeles years ago and training together in Japan.

The Joes are later betrayed by Dr. Burkhart who signals Cobra the location of GI Joe HQ. The team is captured and set to be transformed into Bio-Vipers—if they survive the transformation process! General Hawk is killed. Only Duke escapes—Mainframe has to push through a secret hatch to force his retreat.

Duke finds Snake Eyes to convince him to come back into the fold, needing his help, but Snake Eyes doubts his worth as a hero. Duke sympathizes with him—he’d do anything save his family too, just like Snake Eyes wants to save Tommy. Snake Eyes agrees.
  • Hawk was a father figure for Duke; Snake Eyes understands his desire for vengeance after he chased his own father’s killer—which got him in this new world of super spies and bio-terrorism.
The two embark on a desperate rescue mission to Cobra Headquarters, a labyrinth hidden under the quiet town of Springfield.

The Joes are rescued and spared Bio-Viper transformation, and assist in the takedown of Cobra. As the tides are turning in favor of the Joes, Mindbender overloads himself with Cobra Venom to become a monstrous Viper abomination.

In the battle, Snake Eyes and Duke learn to respect one another as new brothers-in-arms.

Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow find each other amidst the chaos and battle once again—the Tommy he once knew is long dead. Snake Eyes’ throat is slashed but he still seemingly wins the day against Storm Shadow when he falls into a fiery chasm. Only his sword remains…

The Joes manage to defeat the Mindbender monster and destroy all Bio-Viper research. Cobra Commander orders full evacuation protocols but instructs Baroness to stay. Her surrender will ensure Cobra’s survival for another day.

The Joes win the fight, but at great cost as Snake Eyes collapses from his wound. Duke rushes to his side as he bleeds out and his world fades to black.

Days later, Snake Eyes awakens in recovery but his vocal cords are permanently damaged.

The Joes begin to rebuild and Snake Eyes leaves again, this time on good terms; he is heading to Japan to return Tommy’s sword to the Arashikage clan but silently promises he’ll be back.

He and Scarlett kiss goodbye. She whispers his name but the revving of his motorcycle drowns it out and he rides off into the sunset.

MID-CREDITS

Cobra Commander awakens a Cobra sleeper cell in the Austrian Alps:

Inside Castle Cobra, Destro sits before a roaring fire drinking a glass of scotch, smiling as his beacon rings.

“Finally.”

POST-CREDITS

In Japan, Snake Eyes, with Timber in tow, is welcomed home by Blind Master and delivers Storm Shadow’s sword to proclaim his death. His mentor wryly smiles:

“Tomisaburo Arashikage is not dead. You still have much to learn. Come. There is work to be done.”
 
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It's not like the hood is his only look.

Also, Hasbro is refusing to make any more GI Joe figures of Cobra Commander wearing the hood. So obviously what Di Bonaventura said to Hasbro struck a cord with them.

In post-Trump America, Hasbro is being overly cautious about Cobra Commander. Why is that there is a mandate now that no hoods for the figures anymore? Even Hasbro is skittish about the hood and being connected to the KKK.

I always preferred the reflective face mask / helmet, anyway. It looked pretty sharp in Retaliation.
AdorablePastelGoat-size_restricted.gif


But let’s bring back the blue & update a classic look:

CC_Resolute_DVD.jpg
 
I think this franchise could still survive; hopefully Paramount can deliver with a better sequel like they did with Retaliation.

Just get a better writer & a more competent director to film the action. This isn’t Shakespeare we’re talking about:

G.I. JOE: RESOLUTE
directed by Chris McKay

Snake Eyes is recruited by the peacekeeping organization G.I. Joe to fight alongside five elite soldiers—Duke, Scarlett, Tunnel Rat, Heavy Duty and Wild Bill—in the conflict against clandestine terrorist network Cobra.


G.I. JOE
Snake Eyes: Henry Golding, 34
Shana O’Hara / Scarlett: Samara Weaving, 29
Conrad Hauser / Duke: Glen Powell, 32
Nicky Lee / Tunnel Rat: Remy Hii, 35
Lamont A. Morris / Heavy Duty: Mike Coulter, 44
Bill Hardy / Wild Bill: Josh Lawson, 40

General Abernathy / Hawk: Bruce Greenwood, 65
Ali Burnett / Lady Jaye: Eiza González, 31
Blaine Parker / Mainframe: Lewis Pullman, 28

COBRA
Baroness: Úrsula Corberó, 32
Storm Shadow: Andrew Koji, 34
Dr. Mindbender: David Dastmalchian, 44
Cobra Commander: Luke Evans, 42 (voice)

ADDITIONAL
Dr. Adele Burkhart: Elizabeth Marvel, 51
President: David Andrews, 68
Destro: Andrew Howard, 52

PLOT

After the events of Snake Eyes, our hero is again living off the grid—this time with his pet wolf Timber in the American Northwest. Atoning for his sins and acting as a silent guardian angel vigilante for the downtrodden in Seattle, he is eventually tracked down by Agent Scarlett who offers him the chance to join G.I. Joe and save his brother-in-arms Tommy who has finally resurfaced. Now known as Storm Shadow, he is working for the nefarious shadow terrorist network Cobra.

Snake Eyes is again a fish-out-of-water but instead of exploring the secretive inner workings of the Arashikage clan, it’s the elite military squad known simply as G.I. Joe. The new team of recruits come together—or least try to—through intensive boot camp.

Led by General Hawk, the team consists of field leader Duke, second-in-command Scarlett, and Heavy Duty (chief mechanic & artillery), Tunnel Rat (demolition & infiltration), & Wild Bill (vehicle transport).
  • Snake Eyes develops a relationship with Scarlett.
  • He butts heads with Duke initially—he doesn’t like taking orders.
  • Heavy Duty, Tunnel Rat and Wild Bill serve as comedic relief.
  • Both Lady Jaye & Mainframe report directly to General Hawk and operate out of the “Hawk’s Nest” in HQ.
The Joes are tasked to rescue the missing Dr. Adele Burkhart, an outspoken genetic scientist who is discovered to be alive and held captive in an off-shore research facility by Storm Shadow and Cobra terrorists; she managed to send a distress signal & and the call was directed to the Joes.

Inside the complex, the Joes discover Cobra is developing a new top secret weapon: genetically-enhanced super soldiers known as Bio-Vipers.
  • Dr. Mindbender is introduced as Cobra’s lead scientist, using Burkhart’s research and machinery to create Cobra’s army.
Baroness has tasked Storm Shadow to train these Bio-Vipers in the way of the Arashikage clan, finally allowing him to lead a clan under his own vision.
  • Cobra Commander is present throughout as a shadowy hologram, micro-managing Baroness after her implied recent failures.
With Burkhart rescued, Duke orders the Joes retreat. Their mission is complete. Snake Eyes goes after Storm Shadow, believing there still to be some good in him. He returns the favor by detonating a bomb—destroying the complex and nearly killing the Joes, allowing the Cobra villains to escape.

This causes a rift in the team and Snakes Eyes and Duke come to blows forcing Scarlett to break it up, but Snake Eyes still leaves.

Snake Eyes drowns his sorrows in a bar, flooded by good memories of he and Tommy in Los Angeles years ago and training together in Japan.

The Joes are later betrayed by Dr. Burkhart who signals Cobra the location of GI Joe HQ. The team is captured and set to be transformed into Bio-Vipers—if they survive the transformation process! General Hawk is killed. Only Duke escapes—Mainframe has to push through a secret hatch to force his retreat.

Duke finds Snake Eyes to convince him to come back into the fold, needing his help, but Snake Eyes doubts his worth as a hero. Duke sympathizes with him—he’d do anything save his family too, just like Snake Eyes wants to save Tommy. Snake Eyes agrees.
  • Hawk was a father figure for Duke; Snake Eyes understands his desire for vengeance after he chased his own father’s killer—which got him in this new world of super spies and bio-terrorism.
The two embark on a desperate rescue mission to Cobra Headquarters, a labyrinth hidden under the quiet town of Springfield.

The Joes are rescued and spared Bio-Viper transformation, and assist in the takedown of Cobra. As the tides are turning in favor of the Joes, Mindbender overloads himself with Cobra Venom to become a monstrous Viper abomination.

In the battle, Snake Eyes and Duke learn to respect one another as new brothers-in-arms.

Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow find each other amidst the chaos and battle once again—the Tommy he once knew is long dead. Snake Eyes’ throat is slashed but he still seemingly wins the day against Storm Shadow when he falls into a fiery chasm. Only his sword remains…

The Joes manage to defeat the Mindbender monster and destroy all Bio-Viper research. Cobra Commander orders full evacuation protocols but instructs Baroness to stay. Her surrender will ensure Cobra’s survival for another day.

The Joes win the fight, but at great cost as Snake Eyes collapses from his wound. Duke rushes to his side as he bleeds out and his world fades to black.

Days later, Snake Eyes awakens in recovery but his vocal cords are permanently damaged.

The Joes begin to rebuild and Snake Eyes leaves again, this time on good terms; he is heading to Japan to return Tommy’s sword to the Arashikage clan but silently promises he’ll be back.

He and Scarlett kiss goodbye. She whispers his name but the revving of his motorcycle drowns it out and he rides off into the sunset.

MID-CREDITS

Cobra Commander awakens a Cobra sleeper cell in the Austrian Alps:

Inside Castle Cobra, Destro sits before a roaring fire drinking a glass of scotch, smiling as his beacon rings.

“Finally.”

POST-CREDITS

In Japan, Snake Eyes, with Timber in tow, is welcomed home by Blind Master and delivers Storm Shadow’s sword to proclaim his death. His mentor wryly smiles:

“Tomisaburo Arashikage is not dead. You still have much to learn. Come. There is work to be done.”

Nah dont need any more cookie cutter G. I. Joe movies from the current leadership at Paramount

Until there are leadership changes nothing will change

& they definitely wont hire competent people because they will fight producers & studio for stuff like creative control when noobs wont
 
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