High School Essays. Laugh with me please!

[Corinthian™]

I find it too wierd that these are all similes

 

[ScottyBBadd]

I wish wrote some of these.

 

[Halcohol]

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

Blatantly plagiarized from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: "The great yellow spaceships hung in the air in exactly the same way that bricks don't."

That being said, the vocabulary one was probably the best

 

[kytrigger]

Some of those are pretty funny. I rmember in highschool one of my english tachers read a similar thing like this to us. It was a contest on who could make the worst opening line in a story, and those were pretty funny too. The only one I can remember is:

"Looking and smelling like an over-ripe tomato stuffed with cottage cheese, Santa lay dead on the motel floor."

 

[butt_salad]

I write some pretty weird things in my essays.

One time,I had to write about a gift that my graduating class would give to the school. I wrote about a whale. I was BSing about how it would "raise the self-esteems of overweight students because anyone would feel thin compared to a whale".

And recently,I had to write about whether I agreed with a policy that would make everyone in the school clean up for 15 minutes a day. I didn't agree,and one of my reasons was that it wouldn't be unfair to the handicapped students. "What would the school do? Attach a broom to one of their wheel-chairs?!?"

rofl...I'm so funny.