Deathmatch Hype Deathmatch. R3 Match 2 Calvin vs Master Bruce

[Calvin]

If you vote for me, I promise, to the people, that I will rape Dakota Fanning in the ear.

 

[DOG LIPS]

We have to wait all ****ing day for Holly to put up the damn polls.

 

[Da Docta]

If you vote for me, I promise, to the people, that I will rape Dakota Fanning in the ear.

I will but make sure it goes into her brain.

 

[Calvin]

I will but make sure it goes into her brain.

Duh, with me, it'll go out the other ear.

 

[DOG LIPS]

Master Bruce wants your votes.

 

[Calvin]

That's giving gay people a bad name. They have better fashion sense than that. Atrocity!

 

[DOG LIPS]

That's giving gay people a bad name. They have better fashion sense than that. Atrocity!

 

[Calvin]

Keep that stuff in your own thread

 

[Holly Goodhead]

Vote ****s.

 

[Calvin]

Yes sir.

 

[jaguarr]

Seawinkle is a much better name for a pony than Parasol.

jag

 

[Calvin]

You're such a loser, Holly.

 

[Batman]

Let's sum things up.


Calvin

best friend - is Nirvana the cat
tools - 'I don't need tools. I'm a manly man. *unzips pants*"
hairstyle - crappy
arch enemies - Uncle Sam
attire - Red scarf, red and white t-shirt, black painter's hat, pencil thin mustache, Peppy Le Pew as an overcoat
political stance - ""

Batman

best friend - Superman. ****ING SUPERMAN. Oh, and not to mention... you know... Catwoman.
tools - So many that James Bond's head would explode due to the awesomeness. And Anti-Calvin spray.
hairstyle - One that gets him numerous supermodel chicks on a daily basis.
arch enemies - The greatest villian in comic book history, along with Liam Neeson and Jack Nicholson.
attire - Kickass Nomex Survival suit... WITHOUT nipples, mother****er.
political stance - "What are you, dense? Are you ******ed or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I'm the goddamn Batman. "


Clearly, Batman is the righteous choice. But since he isn't on the poll, my opponent, Master Bruce should be the victor because I hate Uncle Sam.

Wow. That was inspirational, almost.

...Almost.

 

[Holly Goodhead]

MB gives me better orgasms. Its nothing personal Calvin. Yes it is.

 

[Calvin]

MB gives me better orgasms. Its nothing personal Calvin. Yes it is.

Better, as in he gives you orgasms at all, while I wouldn't let you touch me with a ten foot clown vagina.

 

[Calvin]

Wow. That was inspirational, almost.

...Almost.

Editing people's quotes is so goddamn lame.

 

[DOG LIPS]

I don't know who to vote for, Calvin is my Satan Cat brother, but MB gives me back rubs. In the front.

 

[Calvin]

I don't know who to vote for, Calvin is my Satan Cat brother, but MB gives me back rubs. In the front.

Follow your heart. Or else Satan Cat will eat it.

 

[Batman]

Editing people's quotes is so goddamn lame.

So is skipping over more highly accurate facts. But I didn't expect any less.

 

[Holly Goodhead]

Here come the kitty claws.

 

[Calvin]

So is skipping over more highly accurate facts. But I didn't expect any less.

Those facts came from Batman's autobiography.

 

[Batman]

Those facts came from Batman's autobiography.

Please. We all know that was written by L. Ron Hubbard.

 

[Calvin]

Please. We all know that was written by L. Rob Hubbard.

That man is a SAINT, a goddamn SAINT! Bite your tongue you booger-eating ogre.

 

[DOG LIPS]

Please. We all know that was written by L. Rob Hubbard.

Who the hell is L. Rob Hubbard?

 

[Holly Goodhead]

Who the hell is L. Rob Hubbard?

Your husband.