Hype High

[DOG LIPS]

You're mistaking her with your dad.

Or your big fat hippo momma, Fatman.

 

[Swordmaster]

If you're going to insult me, you're going to need to learn how to spell the word 'monkeys'.

...It's how me and my friends spell it.

*You don't have friends, dumbass*

...

...

We'll meet again, Spider-Man!

 

[Swordmaster]

Hey, I'm no monkey!

You're not a sex hungry clone, either.

 

[Batman]

You're not a sex hungry clone, either.

No, she's not.

She's better.

 

[Swordmaster]

No, she's not.

She's better.

Yeah, well...

 

[Swordmaster]

New chapter tomorrow afternoon

 

[Spider-Man Luvr28]

New chapter tomorrow afternoon

Yay.

 

[DBella]

Yay.

I think we could use a bit enthusiasm than just "Yay".

 

[Alexia Dark]

*waits for it*

 

[Swordmaster]

Chapter 9: Second Period…Finally


After the locker incident, and Meatbag’s sodomization (which he secretly enjoyed, btw) the four “friends” parted ways: MB and Dante went to English; Flexo went to “How-to-Kill-George-Lucas-Without-Really-Trying”; Meatbag went off to Home Ec., and DOG LIPS stood in the hallway, absentmindedly licking his crotch.

***
In Home Ec., Meatbag found himself in a room filled with Spidey Memorabilia and Sewing Machines. Each machine had a chair in front of it, and each chair was occupied, except for one next to…

Snipershot: boogerz!?@&

Meatbag:…Damn.

Snipershot: The boobeez is boogerz!?

Meatbag: The hells?

Snipershot (Grinning like a madman): PENIS!

Meatbag: NOOOO!

As Meatbag ran for the door, it opened, and a blonde twenty-something woman wearing a Spidey-Heart T-Shirt walked in.

Blonde: Hello, Class. I am SpidrmanLuvr28. All guys: Giggity!

Snipershot: u suckerz monkey!

…What? Snipershot is not a guy. Proven fact.

As SML28 made way to her desk, she passed a homeless man.

SML: Nice coat

Future Master Bruce: Thanks.

All guys sat staring (i.e. Drooling) at SML28 as she passed. Snipershot busied himself by stroking his salami. That’s not a metaphor. He really was stroking the piece of meat he’d been beaten with. Bastard.
JLBats broke from his trance long enough to grab SS by his neck.

JLBats: You are the most disgusting, vile thing on this Earth. You are a worthless sack of s**t who is both shallow and stupid. I hate you with every fiber of my being, and I think you should be exiled to eternity living with Joel Schumacher!

SS: nipple ribberz cooool!

(Note: SS actually enjoys the movie Batman and Robin. I kid you not.)

JLBats threw SS out of the window.

JLBats:

SML28:….Anyway, today we will learn to sew moneys back together.

Girls:…

Guys:

***
Meanwhile, in English, Dante, MB, and DL are in heated debate.

DL: Now, if you had to do any of ‘em, who would it be?

Dante: Dude, it’s the freakin’ Golden Girls!

DL: Exactly. And if you had to do…any of them…butt-nekkid…

MB: Betty White.

Dante:…Dude. Bea Arthur OWNS Betty White.

MB: No…wait. We’ve been spending WAY too much time with DL.

Dante: ANY time with DL is too much time.

MB: Point

Suddenly, MB started sniffing the air frantically.

MB: Do you smell that?

Dante: The smell of a pathetic sack of basteed sniffing the air? Yup.

MB: Besides that! No, the smell of arrogance, of obsession, of my stolen under-roos…

Dante: You don’t mean…
MB: PHANTASM!

Phantasm, looking more and more like Margot Kidder with glasses, walked in.

Phantasm: MB!

MB pulls out a textbook (Prep-Time for Dumbasses like Master Bruce) and knocked himself out with it. Dante surveys him sadly.

Dante: I woulda hit him…L

Phantasm walks over to Dante, MB, and the still-drooling DL. Dante is busy drawing a penis on MB’s head.

Dante: Add some hair…Oh! Phantasm!

Dante put the sharpie in his pants, but not before sniffing it.

Phantasm: What happened to him.

Dante: Genital herpes.

Phantasm: *pats Dante’s diseased head*

Dante: …damn it….Hey! Look! Emma Watson talking about wanting Hermione in JEANS!

Phantasm:

Phantasm pulls a pitchfork from her huge-ass pocketbook and runs toward nowhere, mumbling.

Dante: Phew. Katie Holmes.

MB sits up, instantly alert.

MB: Where?

Dante: Nowhere.

DL: Except in MB’s mind.

Dante: What the-? Why didn’t you help me against Phantasm!?

DL: I was busy fantasizing about the Golden Girls…nekkid…in chocolate…melted chocolate…

Dante and MB puke. When they’re done, MB looks at the clock.

MB: We’ve got five minutes left in the period. Where’s the teacher?

DL: Who…cares…?


MB: You’re not even in this class!

DL: …So?

As MB was about to respond (i.e. “Cry”) the door opened. A woman wearing a Scrubs t-shirt walked in with a beer bottle in one hand and five lit cigarettes in the other.

Woman: Yo. I’m Fry’s Girl. I really don’t give a damn about any of you…or this damn subject, so…yeah…

Phantasm appeared out of nowhere, picking…jean shreds…off of her pitchfork…

Phantasm: Excuse me Fry’s Girl, but this is not how a class should be run. In fact, I should run this class…

Dante stood up and threw his pen at Phantasm.

Dante: SHUT UP!

Phantasm: *smiles* *pats misguided, angry head*

Dante: *grumble* I need a beer…

Phantasm: No. You shouldn’t drink. Ever. Such is my word, and my word is law.

DL: That’s right Bea…lick Betty right…there…yeah…that’s it…

***
Flexo sat in the auditorium, alone.

Flexo: Yar. Time to kill Lucas…

A door opened, and a fat man in plaid walked in.

Flexo: No…no…no!

Fat Man: George Lucas Hungry!

George Lucas opened his mouth incredibly wide.
George Lucas: Feed George Lucas!

Flexo: Noooooooo!

 

[Batman]

"George Lucas Hungry!"

up:

 

[Swordmaster]

Funny thing is...I had it all set a half-hour ago...then it came up "Page Cannot Be Displayed". I had to retype the damned thing....

 

[Batman]

Use Word first, next time.

 

[Swordmaster]

....I learned that the hard way...


So how was it, on a whole?

 

[Bat Attack]

Well, I want to be in Hype High.

 

[Swordmaster]

Very good. MB gets the next chapter

 

[Flexo]

"George Lucas Hungry!"

up:

ARRRR! I'll kill 'im from the inside, if'n the need be.

Ready the cannon and fetch me cutlass.

 

[DBella]

Who is the Fat Man? Not mfs, right?

Anyway, good job, Dante. Made me laugh.

 

[ShadowBoxing]

this stuff pretty funny

 

[Swordmaster]

Who is the Fat Man? Not mfs, right?

Anyway, good job, Dante. Made me laugh.

Fat man=George Lucas

 

[Swordmaster]

ARRRR! I'll kill 'im from the inside, if'n the need be.

Ready the cannon and fetch me cutlass.

Hmmm....I got an idea...

 

[DBella]

Fat man=George Lucas

How did I miss that?!
I thought Fat Man is some incompetent working for Lucas. Wait... I got it now! O

 

[MaskedManJRK]

So, am I ever getting back in? I'd love to see what would happen if the two obsessed Batman freaks met.

 

[Batman]

So, am I ever getting back in? I'd love to see what would happen if the two obsessed Batman freaks met.

Once you get done beating up that nameless clown, I'm sure you'll get back into the story.

 

[Alexia Dark]

Am I ever gonna be in this ****?