Yes, yes, Ladies and Gentlemen who wish they knew more Ladies, I'm back! Not that I ever went anywhere. Or that I finished "Hype World" that long ago. Or that I'm not still posting stuff here ("X-Men: Reimagined", not so much a reimagining as me ****ing around with a franchise without bothering to conform to any continuity other than what I think would be neat). Anyways, I'm back! Or something or other, like that. ****, where was I going with this? Dammit, I've lost my train of thought ! OH! Oh, that's right! Yeah. Anyways, I like puppies, and long walks on the beach, and air guitar, and I'm really interested in a woman who will... Wait, no, still off. Okay, got it. After "Hype World" was concluded, I said I was considering a sequel/spin-off of sorts. Now, for those of you who didn't read "Hype World", shame on you. Why are you here, and not reading that? Moving on, there was a part at the end where, due to a mix-up while several people were jumping through a portal to reach the home of the Mods, who were being held captive by JPlaya (what? it made sense to me.), some of the characters, instead of reaching their destination, were instead dropped in the hellish wasteland known as Ohio. I chronicled their exploits to an extent, including their eventual return to Hype World, and their encounter with aging football legend Brett Favre, but I left out a great deal of the tale. So, I said I may tell the world how they escaped the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame after Lord Valumart messed up an exhibit and eventually made it back home. I don't feel like spending several months on this one, so it'll be a short Odyssey (something that punk Homer couldn't manage), but hopefully it will, carrying on the legacy of its predecessor, be utterly bizarre and slightly hilarious. So, may I neutrally present to you: A HYPE ODYSSEY Starring: CConn Phantasm Powderman Rigel7Soldiers Lord Valumart Master Bruce Sava Wilhelm-Scream Gunblade and Brett Favre Previously, in "Hype World: An Epic": Meanwhile, in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (which is in Cleveland)... Lord Valumart: Look at me, I'm Jimi Hendrix! LV plucked a string on a bass guitar that was played by Paul McCartney on the "Abbey Road" album. security guard: There's another one! Get him! CConn: Dammit, Valumart! Come on guys! Master Bruce: What are we going to do? Phantasm: Maybe a random football player will come and act as a Deux ex Machina to help us escape! CConn: What? No, no that's just stupid. Brett Favre: Awww, but I came all this way . CConn: You should have retired years ago! Now either run with us or go away! And now, we rejoin our heroes: ---------------------------------------- CConn burst through the door, and to freedom. CConn: But now I'm still on Ohio, and out of one of its few interesting destinations . Oh, right. But hey, it could be worse. CConn: How? You could be in an Ohio prison. CConn: Eh, well, count your blessings, I suppose. Powderman: CConn.... Who the hell.... are you talking to????? CConn shook his head, and rubbed his eyes. CConn: Good question, now let's keep moving! CConn hurried up. With him were Powderman, Sava, Lord Valumart, Master Bruce, Gunblade, Wilhelm-Scream, Rigel7Soldiers, and Phantasm. Master Bruce: If we're lucky, we can make it to Cincinnati to see the Bengals play! Brett Favre: The Bengals were knocked out of the playoffs in the first round by the Steelers. Master Bruce: Aw . CConn: Why are you still here? Brett Favre: Let's just say Carson Palmer is still doing better than me, even after his groin injury kept him out of the post-season, and the Pro Bowl, and was a big reason they lost their last regular season game to the Chiefs, 37-3. CConn: They did, really? Meanwhile, back in Hype World... bored: HELLZ YEAH! CConn: Well that doesn't leave much for us. Come on, we need to find some place where the police can't get us. This is your fault, Valumart! Lord Valumart: I just wanted to rock . CConn: Well, now the only important establishment in Cleveland is mad at us! Lord Valumart: Blimey. Brett Favre: While I made my career in Wisconsin, I know enough about Ohio to refute that. There is another. CConn: Okay then, lead the way. Brett Favre: Oh, I have to lead, then? Okay, let me break out the ol' walker. I need it for long trips. The group paused as Favre broke out his collapsable walker. Phantasm: That may have been a mistake. Gunblade: Oh, give him a chance. Phantasm: Make me! Gunblade: I will! As Favre got his bearings, the two girls got into a catfight, which kept the others, as well as several bystanders, entertained for the next few minutes. Hours later, the Hypesters were led into a large, underground lair on the outskirts of Cleveland. Rigel7Soldiers: I think this is an old, abandoned Sizzler. Brett Favre: That's true. Gunblade: Ew, I hate Sizzler. Phantasm: That true? Well, in that case, Sizzler rules! Gunblade: What did you say?! Phantasm: You heard me! The two had started slapping each other, when there was a large gust of foul, hot air. deep, mysterious voice: *Jabba-like* Haugh, haugh, haugh. Who dares enter my kingdom? Brett Favre: It is I, sir. The one known as Favre. dmv: Ah, yes. How is retirement treating you, Mr. Favre? Brett Favre: Um, I'm actually still playing. dmv: What?! But the Packers were so bad this year! The only good game they played was against the Seahawks! Brett Favre: Rub it in, why don't you? dmv: Enough. Why are you here? The owner of the voice, covered in shadow, saw Phantasm and Gunblade fighting. dmv: Oooh, a sacrifice. Phanty and Gunny: dmv: No? Brett Favre: No. Sorry. dmv: Poo. Brett Favre: Sir, we've come to request your services. These people are lost, and need safe passage home. dmv: I do not grant such things for free. Let us negotiate. After struggling to reach far enough, the figure reached, and flicked, a light-switch. The person looked, as expected, a lot like Jabba the Hut, though with a crew-cut and glasses. Brett Favre: Just tell us what you require. Drew Carey: I have for you my grocery list. They noticed a piece of notebook paper stuck to Carey the Hutt's greasy chest. Drew Carey: Bring me everything I've listed, and I will help you. Favre reached for it. Drew Carey: Not you. He glanced past Brett Favre. Phantasm: Me? Ewww! Drew Carey: No, not you. You. Sava: What? Oh, not cool.