I Got A Job In The Porn Industry... I Sh** You Not!

[Eggyman]

Honest.

My girlfriend was looking at part-time writing jobs for me, so I could earn a lil extra money for her diamond shoes and wombat-fur knickers.

She says, ‘I’ve found the perfect job for you!’

Me: ‘Ooooo…’

Then, with a smile, she says, ‘It’s writing articles and reviews for porn sites - up to £400 a week!’

‘WTF?’ I say.

So I apply, not taking it seriously in the least. I enter online. Here’s what I wrote…

Hello,

My girlfriend sent me the link to this. She said it'd be 'right up my street'. Sex and writing. The woman's always right. I mainly write satire and think something like this could use some wit. Maybe?

What do you think?

I'm an upcoming writer who wants to make some money on the side whilst waiting for my golden egg to hatch. I've tried sitting on it but still nothing...

I'll be happy to send you some of my work - mainly short stories and a few articles for a very dry work's magazine, but first I'd like some response to my initial message with hopefully some reassurance that you're legitimate and not some pimple-covered teen with wa**er's cramp that plays World of Warcraft and drinks Pepsi Max.

Have I charmed you enough? I hope so. I'm not quite sure how much you are expecting from these messages, so I'll leave it at this and wish you a good day.

Thanks. For now, just call me Andy.

Anyway, I get a reply and all seems well - they like my humour. I’ve not actually started doing anything yet, but after sending them some of my work, I’ve just been given the go-ahead and should start soon once they have an account to pay me through… after not having the slightest thought that it’d go anywhere. I've found out the average writer earns around £200 a week. Not bad for a little on the side.

See, sometimes doing something for sh**s and giggles pays off!

 

[Drakon]

Awesome, but I wouldn't put this on my resume.

 

[Eggyman]

Awesome, but I wouldn't put this on my resume.

I'm not going to nor do I need to

It's just a side thing to earn some extra money.

 

[Drakon]

Now you can talk your Lady Egg into some kinky stuff and say it's "research for work"

 

[Eggyman]

Now you can talk your Lady Egg into some kinky stuff and say it's "research for work"

If I needed excuses she wouldn't be my Lady Egg lol.

She's made me swear I won't tell my mother. Or at least, not to tell her that she directed me to said employment heh.

 

[Eric Brooks]

congrats

 

[ultrasuperduckman]

Make sure to send us links of your work. (If you can) Should be funny.

 

[Eggyman]

I'll obviously have to PM them lol

 

[Drakon]

If I needed excuses she wouldn't be my Lady Egg lol.

True, but better to have and not need than need and not have.

 

[Eggyman]

True, but better to have and not need than need and not have.

You blow my mind.

 

[AnorexicBatman]

Eggyman is my new best friend...
Porn... it brings people together...

 

[Eggyman]

Eggyman is my new best friend...
Porn... it brings people together...

lol

Let's just hope I don't get writer's droop.

 

[Drakon]

You blow my mind.

I'll leave that one alone, and once again congratulate you on your position.

And ask for a PM to these people to try my luck

 

[Majic Walrus]

That's awesome! And it seems to pay pretty dang well too!

PM me with a link to the site if you like so I can check out your work. Because I think it'll give me somehting to do.

 

[Majic Walrus]

lol

Let's just hope I don't get writer's droop.

How exactly does one review porn sites? Do you give like... "Thumbs" up or down? Do you have to view all the material or just the site in general?

 

[Wiseman]

Eggyman, I want you to be careful. Porn leads to promiscuous lifestyles and diseases and drugs follow.............................I"m just ****ing with you, Congrats!!!!! WOOOO!!!!

 

[Aesop Rocks]

I wish I had your job.

 

[Eggyman]

That's awesome! And it seems to pay pretty dang well too!

PM me with a link to the site if you like so I can check out your work. Because I think it'll give me somehting to do.

Will do! So far I've gathered that it's going to be multiple sites, under a network or such.

How exactly does one review porn sites? Do you give like... "Thumbs" up or down? Do you have to view all the material or just the site in general?

Similar but not with thumbs

Eggyman, I want you to be careful. Porn leads to promiscuous lifestyles and diseases and drugs follow.............................I"m just ****ing with you, Congrats!!!!! WOOOO!!!!

And like everything, I'm doing it backwards lol. Thanks bud.

I wish I had your job.

We'll see. I mean, I had a friend who worked at Burger King for a while, and it put him off burgers...

 

[Aesop Rocks]

But...it's porn man.

 

[WompuM]

Congrats Eggy. You're one step closer. Closer to what? I'm not sure exactly.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

One step closer to the edge and he's about to break.

Everything you say to eggy!
One step closer to the edge and he's about to break!
Needs a little room to breatheeee.
One step closer to the edge and he's about to break.

 

[Drakon]

God, my soul just died reading that.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

Quick! Eject!

 

[AnorexicBatman]

The Internet Is For Porn!
The Internet Is For Porn!

Now You Know Why The Net Was Born!
PORN! PORN! PORN!

 

[Ahura Mazda]

Hope it goes well for you.