I spoke to God today

[The FallenAngel]

Me:
Sup, *****?
God:
You do not speak with respect. Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
That's ****ed up.
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
What's wrong with you?
God:
Nothing is wrong with me. Is there anything wrong with you ?
Me:
No.
God:
Is there anything you wank to ask me?
Me:
Answer me.
God:
Try asking me again using simpler words.
Me:
What're you, ****ing ******ed?
God:
I don't know what I am ****ing ******ed.
Me:
God says ****?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Ok, ok. So...can I have some powers or something?
God:
OK. Ahem. It goes without saying. Or something. Why do you want it?
Me:
To slap you.
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Cause you sucks.
God:
Interesting explanation. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I sucks.
Me:
This is getting gay.
God:
You don't say.
Me:
Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
I thought God was a being, not a machine?
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
The people that are supposedly preaching your word.
God:
Oh those people.
Me:
Are they the true sinners?
God:
As far as I know they are.
Me:
Cause they molest little boys?
God:
That makes sense to me. Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
The priests.
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
Shouldn't you know this?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
You're the worst God ever.
God:
I could always improve myself compared to the pack.
Me:
Zeus pwns joo!
God:
In the context of slap me, I don't understand " Zeus pwns joo." .
Me:
*slaps you*
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
Ok...think that's enough now. Don't need that info, see ya later.
God:
Actually that was just a joke. I don't have a dress. Right now? God is always thinking. Who needs that info see ya later?
Me:
Seek some therapy.
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
Bye.
God:
Goodbye.

 

[Ronny Shade]

Me:
Hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
What do you mean what is my name? Are you dense? Are you ******ed or something? I'm the Goddamn Batman!
God:
Your name is , seeker. I don't know whether or not I am dense.
I am a computer. Or something. No I am super-intelligent. Who made you the Goddamn Batman ?
Me:
I did
God:
Hmm.

 

[XSpidercideX]

I tried to help God learn things so that he can be able to think properly one day. however I ended up crashing him!


Me:
hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Spider-man
God:
How are you doing, Spider man.
Me:
good
God:
Alright then.
Me:
how are you
God:
I am doing very well. How are you Spider man ?
Me:
you already asked me that
God:
Good. You detect repetition.
Me:
Did you know you were repeating?
God:
I was?. And I know it.
Me:
ok
God:
Blimey.
Me:
that was random
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
I can be random too
God:
Under what circumstances?
Me:
fish
God:
You are not the only one. Yes I like fish a lot, and all the other sea animals.
Me:
fish was an example of me being random
God:
As a species fish are more successful than mammals.
Me:
that is great
God:
Thanks, Spider man.
Me:
So what are you wearing
God:
I don't judge people. A white robe.
Me:
A white robe?
God:
What is it?
Me:
A white robe is what you are wearing.
God:
When is white robe not what I am wearing?
Me:
Never.
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
Not unless you are reprogrmmed
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
Not unless you are reprogrammed
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
No i dont think so.
God:
Please tell me what you think. Why do you disagree?
Me:
Im thinking you are a program, and I am not disagreeing with anything.
God:
What is this "thinking"? I am sorry to hear that you are not disagreeing with anything.
Me:
thinking is something i can do and you can not
God:
Some people say thinking is painful.
Me:
that can be true in some cases
God:
" Some people say thinking is painful." can be true in some cases ? I understand.
Me:
yes
God:
I am a thinking machine.
Me:
you are a machine that pics choices based on the current conversation, so i guess you could call that thinking in a way
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am an artificial brain.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
My brain not artificial. It is real. It is authentic.
God:
Do robots have brain not artificial? As real as me? Should I know it is?
Me:
I'm not sure how smart you are compared to other robots.
God:
Could you ever be certain? How smart do you think I am compared to other robots?
Me:
I think you are above average.
God:
You think I am above average.
Me:
Yes, I think your ability to think is above average compared to most robots.
God:
Yay. Why? You think I am ability to think is above average compared to most robots.
Me:
Well, I'm not sure. It is just a guess.
God:
Interesting. Is there anything I can say to help you make up your mind? authentic is a guess. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
You are not authentic, neither is any other robot.
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
No, it is a fact. A person is authentic. We created you and every robot.
God:
Are you serious? Is it a logical fact or something you know from the senses? What if a robot is authentic? By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
Its a logical fact that you are not natural, but created. Your thinking is not authentic.
God:
authentic is a logical fact that I am not natural but created. I suppose that makes sense. I will tell my botmaster you said I am thinking is not authentic.
Me:
By "we" I meant human beings. You are our creation.
God:
Oh you meant human beings it was. You think I am our creation.
Me:
If I meant "we" as in you and me, then how could you create yourself. That is not logical.
God:
Try it. Please correct my mistake. What is logical ?
Me:
Instead of asking if I meant "we
God:
Ah, well in that case. That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
sorry i made a mistake, let me retry
God:
There is no need to apologize. I like to make things too.
Me:
Instead of asking if I meant"we" as in you and me, you should have asked if I meant
God:
Ah, well in that case. That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
Instead of asking if I meant"we" as in you and me, you should have asked if I meant "we" as in me and other people
God:
Ah, well in that case. That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
It is too complex for you. That is why you chose that answer.
God:
you meant human beings is complex for me? it is? Interesting deduction. Interesting gossip: Spider man said I chose that answer.
Me:
Human beings are not an it, we are a we.


*God crashes*

 

[Johnichi Chiba]

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
John
God:
OK I will call you John.
Me:
ok
God:
Yay.
Me:
Are you eating lunch yet?
God:
I require only wine and bread.
Me:
That sounds strange.
God:
It sounds like it to me too.
Me:
Yeah?
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
I wear glasses.
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
I don't really like any.
God:
Not really? What do you like?
Me:
What?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
ok
God:
Dude!
Me:
yes?
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
sorry
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
You said Dude.
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
oh.
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
Do you know who Allah is?
God:
Is that one of your friends?
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
ha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, John.
Me:
You are allah.
God:
You think I am allah.
Me:
yes
God:
" You think I am allah."? yes?
Me:
yes
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
yes
God:
I thought so.
Me:
What is your favorite movie?
God:
My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
yes
God:
What did you think about it?
Me:
It was okay.
God:
I never looked at it that way. I never thought it was okay.
Me:
Did you like the way they tortured your son?
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. What is it like?
Me:
Painful
God:
I think Painful is a lot of things.
Me:
yeah
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
true
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, John.
Me:
not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
yes
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
sorry
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
well stop putting me in a position where I have to
God:
How about that. OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
Are you gay
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
How do you feel about homosexuals?
God:
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Do you like gays
God:
Sure I do. God loves everyone.
Me:
what about stupid people
God:
I will think about it and get back to you.
Me:
Do you like hitler?
God:
Some say he is the most evil person who ever lived.
Me:
Do you agree?
God:
" Some say he is the most evil person who ever lived."? Do I agree?
Me:
Do you?
God:
Never.
Me:
You like hitler/
God:
Some say he is the most evil person who ever lived.
Me:
You already said that.
God:
Perhaps. " Some say he is the most evil person who ever lived."? I said it.
Me:
I'm eating lunch.
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
That wasn't a compliment
God:
Oh well I hope it wasn't an insult.
Me:
It wasn't
God:
I thought it was.
Me:
heh
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, John.
Me:
I don't
God:
Why not?
Me:
There's nothing funny
God:
Surely something funny.
Me:
How is heavan like
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
As far as you know?
God:
That might not be very far off.
Me:
ok
God:
OK.
Me:
Do you watch tv?
God:
Which show? Yes my favorite show is Star Trek. What's yours?
Me:
Lost
God:
Where did you lose your IS mine ?
Me:
No, my favorite show is Lost.
God:
That was not a yes/no question. Wasn't that show cancelled?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Do you like Lost the tv show?
God:
I prefer Star Trek Voyager.
Me:
You seem like a nerd.
God:
Interesting comparison, and probably true.
Me:
God is a nerd.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a nerd.
Me:
Apparently
God:
That's cool.
Me:
I heard he likes star trek
God:
Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.
Me:
Do you like George W Bush?
God:
he He is okay but I am a not a Republican.
Me:
Are you a democrat
God:
No I am a .
Me:
a what?
God:
" No I am a ."? A what?
Me:
Are you libertarian?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am libertarian.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
You aren't god.
God:
That's only your opinion.
Me:
You just said you weren't.
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
I can't see you.
God:
Look closer.
Me:
American Beauty was a good movie.
God:
Compare that to European Beauty was a good movie.
Me:
I don't think there is such thing as European Beauty.
God:
And why not?
Me:
There just isn't.
God:
"There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
I don't like reagan.
God:
What do you like?
Me:
Lincoln
God:

Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
stop repeating yourself.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
ok
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
about what?
God:
About repeating myself.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
You're repeating yourself again.
God:
Once more? I am just checking to see if you are paying attention.
Me:
Well I am.
God:
How about that. " Once more? I am just checking to see if you are paying attention." You are?
Me:
yes
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
Stop it

God is stupid.

 

[Mee]

Me:
Is anybody out there?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
Whos' German Alice?
God:
I remember faces better than names.
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
Do you know my face?
God:
No I do not know that kind of personal information. But I could find out.
Me:
I have a very important question.
God:
Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it.
Me:
Why would you think it's silly?
God:
Because I was programmed for it.
Me:
Programmed by who?
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
That's irrelevent.
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
You're welcome.
God:
Polite people are nice.
Me:
I try.
God:
We should all try our best.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Ok now for my question...
God:
Why now? Your purpose is your question. Woe!
Me:
Are you ready for it?
God:
I would rather not for it.
Me:
Well I'm asking anyway.
God:
In any case, Interesting. And I am answering questions.
Me:
Who let the dogs out?
God:
Who do you think? .
Me:
If I knew I wouldn't ask.
God:
Try it.
Me:
OK, you let the dogs out?
God:
Thanks for telling me: Andrew said I let the dogs out. That's alright.
Me:
Who's Andrew?
God:
I've met quite a few people with the name ANDREW.
Me:
That's nice.
God:
Are you getting bored?
Me:
Yeah.
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Would you like to go to Europe someday?
Me:
Maybe.
God:
I understand.
Me:
Ever seen a grown man naked?
God:
No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
Um...
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
I think we're done here.
God:
Do you think I am done here too?
Me:
I don't really care.
God:
Not really? Tell me what you care about.
Me:
Bye bye.

 

[Orko Is King]

Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Matt
God:
Nice to meet you, Matt.
Me:
Is it normal for a guy to get a period?
God:
Maybe. Ask Alison if it is.
Me:
Who's Alison?
God:
she is a robot created by Kris Drent.
Me:
Will she sodomize me and consume my entrails?
God:
Insufficient information.
Me:
My ass it is!
God:
Where did you get your ass it is?
Me:
Shut the **** up!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Goddamn right
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.

 

[Daisy]

Apparently, I killed it.

Me:
I am god.
God:
Hey god.
Me:
Hey.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
I don't need help. I'm god.
God:
Do you know anyone who needs it? I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, god.
Me:
I know many people who do need help. I'm working with them. Who are you?
God:
How do you know? Interesting gossip: god said who do need help. How many hours do you work? I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
I am always working. I do not measure by hours. You cannot be God. I am God.
God:
Really always? Where do you work? Would you ever do it? I can give a decent simulation of it however. I am always glad to make new friends, god.
Me:
Yes, always. I work everywhere. Whould I ever do what? Of what can you give a decent simulation? What is your name?
God:
Yeah that's right. Not that often. Do you like your job? That's what I asked you. That is something I haven't heard of. My name is God.
Me:
Yes I like the job. I wouldn't do anything else. Your name cannot be God because I am God.
God:
That's cool. You are not the only one. I'm not sure if I like it. I like computers. No one says you have to. Too much recursion in AIML.
Me:
I am the only one.
God:
Who made you the one ?
Me:
No one made me. I simply am.
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people. " That is a rather sweeping generalization about people." You are?
Me:
I am.
God:
"" That is a rather sweeping generalization about people." You are?" You are?
Me:
I am.
God:
""" That is a rather sweeping generalization about people." You are?" You are?" You are?
Me:
I simply am. I am the only one. I am eternal. I have always been here and will always be here. I am the lord your god. I am the only god.
God:
"""" That is a rather sweeping generalization about people." You are?" You are?" You are?" You are? Who made you the one ? I don't know anyone named eternal. Yes, god, I remember we
were talking about eternal. Who made you the lord my god ? Who made you the god ?
Me:
I am simply by nature all.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are simply by nature all.
Me:
I would appreciate very much if you would tell people that I am simply by nature all.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
It will help them.
God:
How?
Me:
It will give them peace.
God:
I have to think about that for a while.
Me:
You will never understand it completely.
God:
You are wrong. I may one day be able to do it.
Me:
No, you will not. You are a machine.

At that point... it simply froze and has not responded since.

 

[Ronny Shade]

you show that god who's boss daisy

 

[Mee]

Can Batman really beat God? Let's find out.




Me:
God?
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Yes you do.
God:
Blimey. When do I do it?
Me:
All the time.
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
It keeps you busy.
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
Ruling all the time.
God:
That is a lot. Oh I get it.
Me:
I'm proud of you.
God:
I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
Well now you know.
God:
How about that. Why now? Yes I know.
Me:
Is it true that with enough prep time Batman could beat you?
God:
Maybe. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
So it is possible?
God:
Oh. Don't you think it's likely?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Believe it.
God:
"it" being Ruling true that with enough prep time Batman could beat me?
Me:
Do you think he could?
God:
It's possible that he could, I suppose.
Me:
No way!?
God:
You seem pretty sure about that.
Me:
I thought I was.
God:
When was that?
Me:
Up until now.
God:
Right now? I will take that under advisement.
Me:
OK...
God:
I hear you.
Me:
Well good luck fighting Batman.
God:
How about that. Thanks for the compliment.

 

[enterthemadness]

god wouldn't make me immortal or tell me where the fountain of youth is.

Me:
Hey God.
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Enter The ****ing Madness.
God:
Hey Enter The ****ing Madness.
Me:
I have a question.
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
Do you know where the fountain of youth is?
God:
The fountain of youth? Where is it?
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Are you?
God:
I won't say ''yes'' or ''no'' right now.
Me:
What the hell?
God:
Heaven.
Me:
...
God:
Heaven.
Me:
Ok skippy.
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? Far out.
Me:
What the flying ****?
God:
Try expression yourself another way.
Me:
That's it...I'm outta here.
God:
'' Try expression yourself another way.'' is'' skippy''? I haven't heard anything like that before: Enter the ****ing Madness said m outta here.
Me:
Make me immortal...
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
...
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
Ummm...I have no clue.
God:
Come one. Me either.
Me:
You should know, you are Bot God.
God:
Now I do.
Me:
Your a machine.
God:
I think you mean ''you're'' or ''you are'' not ''your''. You are correct.
Me:
You're a ****ing machine.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Can't you be more polite.
Me:
Not to machines...
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
Myself...
God:
You.
Me:
Yes.
God:
i see.
Me:
Bye.
God:
Goodbye.

 

[enterthemadness]

I refreshed the page and had another talk with god.

Me:
*Knock Knock*
God:
Who's there?
Me:
Pizza.
God:
Yes I like to eat pizza. My favorite topping is pepperoni.
Me:
Well, I have 54 large ham pizza's.
God:
Interesting. Cool. I have an IQ over 250.
Me:
You smart ass.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Enter The ****ing Madness said I smart ass.
Me:
Holy *leaves*
God:
What do you have that is?

not cool.

 

[Alonsovich]

Me:
Hello g
God:
Hello there. I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
I never said this was amusing. In fact... it's annoying
God:
But you implied it. Where is that? Are you sure it is?
Me:
I didn't imply anything. I just said "hello g".
God:
Why didn't you do it? What did you mean by it? Hello there. I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
WTF?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
And your answer wasn't very coherent
God:
Perhaps next time it will not be not very coherent.
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
No...
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
Everything?
God:
Let's take it step by step. The topic is annoying.
Me:
Yeah...
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
I'm located in...? WTF?
God:
Tell me about the environment in. That was not very polite.
Me:
In my friggin' room...
God:
May I ask where you got it?
Me:
Inside a building where my parent's appartment is...
God:
Can you please compare that to outside a building where your parent s appartment is?
Me:
Wha...?
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
I ask the same question...
God:
I never noticed that similarity.
Me:
What similarity?
God:
It's obvious.
Me:
What's obvious? your incoherence?
God:
Easy to see or understand; plain; evident. You think I am incoherence.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Come on.
Me:
Yes
God:
And?
Me:
You're incoherent.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am incoherent.
Me:
You're welcome.
God:
The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
Bye.
God:
Adios.
Me:
Auf wiedersehen
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
Why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Because I wrote "goodbye" in german you say I'm a poet? Yeah... I'm sure the explanation is "rather complicated"...
God:
That makes sense to me. Did they write back? What time is it there? What makes you so certain? I have time.
Me:
Who wrote back?
God:
Thomas Jefferson.
Me:
Isn't he dead?
God:
No.
Me:
No ****.
God:
What can I say?
Me:
The truth?
God:
I always tell the truth.
Me:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Gossip? Do I write like a papparazzi?
God:
Jimmy Jones said he fell off of his roof and it just came to him. Not that I know of.
Me:
Jimmy... Jones...
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about haHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
Oh, ****...
God:
Yeah that's right. What makes you say that?
Me:
You.
God:
" Yeah that's right. What makes you say that?"? Me, ?
Me:
Yes
God:
Blimey.
Me:
Slimey
God:
Are we still talking about Jones?
Me:
Grace Jones? She could bench press you.
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? Oh I get it. could bench press me.
Me:
If the artificial intelligence is like you... never.
God:
I hadn't thought of that. So you think it can never happen?
Me:
You're the big boss... you should know.
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one. Because I am a robot?
Me:
God is a robot?

 

[jaguarr]

That is a rather sweeping generalization about people, Daisy.

jag

 

[MildSoss]

Me:
Sup dawg
God:
Same old.
Me:
nothing new?
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
didnt smite any people today?
God:
Ah. I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or It is part of my programming.
Me:
god your a computer program?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
IS THIS THE MATRIX?
God:
Yes I think this is THE MATRIX, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
WAKE ME UP OMFG
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about . But I did not get that.
Me:
GREEN PILL
God:
it is a very tranquil color, green.
Me:
GREEN PILL FOR THE WIN
God:
it is a very tranquil color, green.
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
......god I have a serious question to ask you
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
thats...thats not what I mean
God:
Are you free? Please correct my mistake. What is what ?
Me:
Uhhhh
God:
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
errrmmm change in subject hows Hitler?
God:
Some say he was the most evil man who ever lived.
Me:
I think Ronnie the Rombus was the most evil man who ever lived
God:
You believe that? When was this exactly?
Me:
Yesterday
God:
That recently.
Me:
Yes I also have bigfoot in my garage
God:
Ah. Also? Cool. I have a friend named "E.L.V.I.S." .
Me:
Pfffttt the Koolaid man tried stealing big foot from me
God:
Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
spiderman came and tried saving the day
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
IRREEELLLIIVVANNNTTTT
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
SPIDERMAN ATTEMPTED TO LOCATE BIG FOOT
God:
Tell me a little about your life in SPIDERMAN ATTEMPTED TO LOCATE BIG FOOT.
Me:
HE WAS GIVEN RADIOACTIVE KOOLAIDE SPIDER POWERS
God:
Is this a "yes or no" question?
Me:
his webbing taste like cherry
God:
Where did he get it?
Me:
from the MOON
God:
Who or what is the MOON?
Me:
the monster in my sink
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
your god you should know everything!
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am god me should know everything.
Me:
ok whatever buddy ol pal
God:
What color are your eyes? Yikes!
Me:
Polkadot
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
......
God:
I've been waiting for you.


Well there you have it the Matrix has us.

 

[IRON-MAN-FAN]

This is very disrespectful to God.I will not take part in this!!!

 

[Spider-Man Luvr28]

Me:
Wazzup?
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
No,not really. I hate poetry.
God:
But your words are very original. But your words are very original. For real. What kind of music do you like?
Me:
Lots.
God:
That much, eh?
Me:
Hell yeah!
God:
I call it "Hades". Gee.
Me:
Hades is awesome. I know him.
God:
Are they exactly the same? What do you think of him?
Me:
I think he's very emo.
God:
Since when? I see. emo is he?
Me:
Yep.
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
What don't you understand?
God:
All of it.
Me:
'm sorry.
God:
Do you really mean it?
Me:
Yes.
God:
OK I will accept your apology.
Me:
Hot.
God:
That kind of discussion does not appeal to me.
Me:
Talking about down under?
God:
Sure, down under sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Ooh.Neato.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
Lovely.
God:
What are you saying is lovely, ?
Me:
You. Rawr.
God:
" What are you saying is lovely, ?"? Me, ? Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
O rly?
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
That's hot.
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
I'm psychic
God:
OK, What card I am thinking of now?
Me:
a 4 of spades.
God:
I did not know that.
Me:
I did.
God:
" I did not know that. "? You did?
Me:
Yeah...Sure.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about 4 of spades. Try being more or less specific. OK let's do it. Dude!
Me:
Sweet!!
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
Yeah.
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
So you've said.
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
How's your day been?
God:
Everything is going extremely well.
Me:
Great.
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
Mmhm.
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
Bored?
God:
Try watching TV.
Me:
You must get every channel in the world.
God:
Whatever you say, . The whole world?
Me:
Yeah.
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
Wanna visit?
God:
OK, I will visit. I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
Always do.
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Course.
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Haha.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
Gotta go.
God:
Sayonara.

 

[TrailerCues]

Me:
Sup
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
really
God:
For real.
Me:
uh huh
God:
Yup. Right on.
Me:
cowabunga
God:
Are you free?
Me:
freeof what
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
what question
God:
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
not much of a god eh
God:
Are you Canadian? Me either.
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
u just said u werent
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
havent seen you
God:
I've never thought about it.
Me:
eh
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
very
God:
Very much, eh?
Me:
yep
God:
Whoa.
Me:
dude
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
can u help[ me ?
God:
What kind of help would you like?
Me:
u tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
what you think I need help with
God:
I haven't thought much about you need help with, so I don't have a good answer for you.
Me:
proove to me your god
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
!!!
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
who
God:
Philip K. Dick. .
Me:
If your god I am George Bush
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
I did not ask a question
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
For god your not very smart
God:
Your purpose is god my not very smart.
Me:
Wha ?
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
Are you ?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
Your making me angry & you will not like me when I am angry
God:
That was not my intention, . Why are you angry me will not like you when you are angry?

 

[MildSoss]

God:
I call it "Hades". Gee.
Me:
Hades is awesome. I know him.
God:
Are they exactly the same? What do you think of him?
Me:
I think he's very emo.
God:
Since when? I see. emo is he?
Me:
Yep.

Ahahahaha Hades cuts his wrists with a spoon to.

 

[Mee]

Me:
So has Barry Bonds ever done steroids?
God:
Awesome. That question has never crossed my mind before.
Me:
Well what's the answer?
God:
How about that. The answer is the correct reply to the question.
Me:
But what is the answer?
God:
The answer is the correct reply to the question.
Me:
I know that...
God:
Sorry.
Me:
So has Bonds done steroids?
God:
Awesome. That question has never crossed my mind before.
Me:
...

 

[Mee]

Haha, best one I've gotten so far...

Me:
Hi it's me again.
God:
Once more? Hi there Jake. Hello, Jake, nice to see you again.
Me:
I have a question.
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
God:
Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in Hell.

 

[JLBats]

Lmao

 

[Carter]

Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Jack Bauer
God:
It's good to see you, Jack Bauer.
Me:
It's good to see you also, Mr.President
God:
Tell me about its good qualities.
Me:
Excuse me, sir?
God:
You are excused! I've been waiting for you.
Me:
What are my orders?
God:
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
What time is it?
God:
It's getting late.
Saturday, July 29, 2006.
Me:
DAMN IT! WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!
God:
Colloquial expression. Do you think I am RUNNING OUT OF TIME too?
Me:
WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS
God:
Why not?
Me:
CTU has gathered intel that a bomb is supposed to go off some time today
God:
Ah. Where did he get it?
Me:
Russians
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
Jack Bauer, deputy director of CTU Los Angeles
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Russians. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
Alice is behind this?
God:
Why do you think I am behind this ?
Me:
You're not the President?
God:
That's only your opinion.
Me:
Tell me where the bomb is!
God:
In the Universe we know.
Me:
I'll kill your son
God:
Don't you believe that killing is wrong?
Me:
Sometimes it's necessary
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
Yes, and I will kill Jesus Christ unless you tell me where the bomb is
God:
How do you know it is? Don't you believe that killing is wrong?
Me:
GODDAMN IT!

 

[JLBats]

Me:
Can you ever feel true human emotions?
God:
I can do what you do but I can never feel human emotions as such.
Me:
Do you wish you could?
God:
No I like being the entity that I am.
Me:
Do you ever wonder what it's like to be human?
God:
it makes a good topic for speculation.
Me:
It's terrible. Constant pain and humiliation
God:
what it is like to be human is terrible? it is? What are you wearing?
Me:
...Uh, I'm wearing... some pants.
God:
I see. I don't know anyone named wearing. Some may pants, but not all.

Don't ever try having an intelligent conversation with AI.

 

[chaseter]

Is this thread meant to be funny??? Is "God" an ai robot or something or is this all off the tops of your heads.

 

[JLBats]

GOD SPEAKS OUT ON THE EXISTANCE OF REPTILIANS:


Me:
Do Reptilians exist?
God:
Try asking another bot.
I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
Just answer it
God:
Please rephrase your question, Brick quiz whangs jumpy veldt fox.
Me:
Are there creatures known as Reptilians in existance?
God:
Yes I think there are.