If you're a girl in a horror movie...

[Pink Ranger]

79. Change your name to one that's fairly androgynous (Jamie, Sydney, Tracey, Sam)

80. If you happen to be a hot, sexual girl, make friends with somebody hotter and ****tier than you. Then make friends with a nerdy virgin girl. That automatically makes you the protagonist and you survive.

 

[Immortalfire]

81. If you want to be the hot girl, but also the one who lives, mimic Eliza Dushku in "Wrong Turn". Hot, smart, keeps her clothes on, teams up with the strong and intelligent Desmond Harrington, and she survives.

 

[Kevin Roegele]

82. Even if you are the main character and you can stick up for yourself and even kick a little ass, there will always be a default male hero around to steal your thunder.

 

[JackBauer]

83. Under no circumstance be sassy. It'll do you no good when that machete's coming to get personal with your face.

84. If you live in a small town and you're being chased by the psycho at night, don't bother looking for other people. It'll be like the town is deserted. Plus, someone else will find you, most likely sneaking you up from behind.

85. When that person finds you, get ready for a loud music cue.

 

[Kevin Roegele]

86. Don't expect doors to open until the last possible second.

 

[OptimusCannabis]

What if you're a ****e in a girl movie?

Would you be Elisha Cuthbert?

 

[Avalanche]

19. Don't bother with the car, it either won't turn on or you'll drop the keys and won't know what's comin'.

Don't bother with the car because the killer will invariably have somehow managed to get in the car before you, knowing you were heading there, and just as you're driving off, believe yourself to be safe, he will rise up from the back seat, having been lay there the whole time, and kill you with some over-large weapon.

 

[Avalanche]

84. If you live in a small town and you're being chased by the psycho at night, don't bother looking for other people. It'll be like the town is deserted. Plus, someone else will find you, most likely sneaking you up from behind.

In addition, it's more than likely that every member of this town is themself some sort of homocidal psychopath, and will know and understand the killer, and will let him know where you are. You will realise, but it will almost be too late.

 

[Ring Deacon]

87. When leaving a room, never say "I'll be right back" because you will be dead soon after.

88. Do take jobs at summer camps where people have been killed the past 11 summers. That is just asking to be killed.

89. If the killer says he is at the front door run out the back door.

90. Don't pick up hitchikers.

91. Stay on the main road, short cuts through small towns can only lead to no good.

92. Always keep a good supply of garlic, wooden stakes and a gun loaded with silver bullets on hand at all times. You never know when a Vampire/Warewolf war will break out.

93. When babysitting DON"T ANSWER THE PHONE!

 

[Sentinel X]

94. If you hear a mysterious noise outside, dont go out to try to find out whats causing it.

95. Try not moving into a house that is said to be haunted or had a family murdered there.

96. If your house has a ghost in it...just leave...don't stay and think it'll go away.And don't call in a priest, he will just get hurt or possibly killed.

97. If your TV is acting weird via producing paranormal static and images...try unplugging it or throwing away your TV. Beleive me...throwing away a 500 dollar television set is better than losing your life

 

[livrule]

"96. If your house has a ghost in it...just leave...don't stay and think it'll go away.And don't call in a priest, he will just get hurt or possibly killed."

LOLt:

 

[JackBauer]

98. If you happen to get sepparated from a friend, don't go around shouting their name. You'll just give away your position to the killer who, from all you know, could turn out to be your friend.

 

[Watson]

99. Be a virgin

100. No exploring any abandoned anything, EVER.

 

[WorthyStevens]

101. And you're a ****, give up any hope of survival.

 

[Valorman]

102. if your lost, do not, under any circumstances, ask for advice from any dirty, hillbilly "i hate them city folk" types. they are leading you into a trap.

 

[McFly Fan]

103. If you are hot and Blonde...your only hope of survival is that your name is Buffy Summers!!!!!!

 

[Immortalfire]

104. When on a cross country road trip, avoid those middle-of-nowhere desert towns at all cost.

 

[Spidey Lover 10]

Here are some basic rules for survival, and also as a counterpoint, some assorted bits how to be a good horror movie girl who will surely die.


1. Don't bother with the big studly jock. He may be strong but he wont be able to do you any good when it matters.

2. Keep your clothes on. If you show your breasts, your ass or anything else, you will die.

3. Be nice. If you're the least bit *****y you will die. With the nice attitude, you have some chance of living, but barely.

4. Strike up a friendship or romance with the guy who is in good shape and at least has some intelligence. He will be able to rescue you when the psycho has you bound and gagged.

5. The only time you are allowed to panic is when the psycho has you in his clutches and the hero is coming to rescue you. Any other time and you're as good as buried.

6. When you're being pursued by the killer, never run upstairs. You won't come back down.

7. When you find your dead boyfriend, don't stand there screaming. The killer is right behind you.

8. Don't bother trying to call for help. The phone lines have been cut and your cell phone wont get a signal.

9. The police are no good. In fact, even if you manage to find one, they'll probably get shot or impaled while you're talking to them.

10. Never forget to overreact to everything.

11. Always feel something bad is going to happen.

12. Don't go investigate that noise in the backyard.

13. You can hide under the bed, table or desk. The killer usually doesn't look under there for some reason.

14. Don't stand over the supposedly dead killer for ten minutes and then run. Run immediately, and you might have a chance.

15. Make sure you let out a high pitched scream every now and then. It doesn't help your situation in the slighest, but who cares?

16. Don't smoke pot, this too is a seal of assured death.

17. Don't wander off on purpose to scare your boyfriend, only to jump out and surprise him. This will come back and bite you in the ass when the killer gets ahold of you.

18. You probably have some hidden talent you're not aware of. Such as archery or sharpshooting. Said talents will manifest during danger, so put them to use during the climactic point.

Others?

u 4got, ALWAYS CARY A ****ING GUN 2 USED AGAINST THE BAD GUYS!!!! I'M SICK 2 DEATH OF SEEING PEOPLE IN HORROR FILMS NOT BEING ABLE 2 DEFEND THEY ****ING ASSES 2 SAVE THEMSEVES FROM THE VILLIANS!!!!

 

[SolidSnakeMGS]

105. Avoid movies with Nicolas Cage, because you'll get punched in the face by a guy in a bear suit and in the end, your movie won't even turn out to be a horror movie because it's so laughable how bad it is.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

106. Always talk to the creepy loner guy, you may think he's the killer, but he's not. He's actually got valuable information as he's survived this killer's attacks before, that's why he's now a creepy loner, all his friends were killed last year.

 

[Spider-Fan83]

107. feel free to break in to the killers house (car,... where ever) when they not there, to find out about there past, you can psychoanalyst the killer later, to distract him for a few minutes
it will most likely just piss him off, even more, but, it while buy to some time to catch your breath before running again lol