Inebriated Review Thread!!!

[nosebleed.]

This is for all the people who would like to read or write a review from a different perspective. Please add to it what you whill...or take from it what you won't....but do not take it seriously or take seriously tings from the serious??? I am truly sorry HR.

This is my inebriated review.. I LOVE Transformers. I ahve loved Transformers since I was 7 years old. I have loved Transformers longer than I ahve loved girls....and THAT is a damnbed long time because I'm a horny pervert. I will not apologize for my love for Transformers becuse that is what makes me who I am today. I am a military leaeder who occasionally looves to let his geek side show through. Ther is nothing wrong with that...I feel it makes me a better person. I fyou don't loike it then please depart the premises...or be escorted out by my assitant...CFLASH!! (you are my hero)l..

I hate AND love this movie. I love the fact that it is a funny speectacle that will surely please audienes everywhere. I love that SHIA is the MAYN!!!. He truly deserves any and all praies that is embellisheed upon him. If a normal high school student had half the chrarisma he had in the movie then he surely would get laid on the daily.

I LOVE Peter Cullen. He is the saving grace for this movie besides Shia. He is the ONLY bone that Michael Bay has thrown us....(the fans). ss. His voice is ...REGAL...his voice is Transformers. As I've said before...if Shia and Peter Cullen were not in this movie...this movie would be NOTHING!!!

I HATE the fact that the autobots are chractgerless shawllow pieces of CGI. They offer nothing to the screen except eye c andy. They make me cringe in their "performances". They manek me want to punch my conputer screen!!! They will ruin what peoplelove in Transformers if their characgteres are the same in the sequel. I TRULLY hope that the sequel is dreeicted by someone with vision. Or that Orci nd Kurtzman re FIRED for writing such drivel...I ABHOR them...I ABHOIR the fact that they have written such DRIVEL!!! I cannot state how much I ABHOR the simplification ofalready simplified characters!!

I Hate the plot holes. I hate the fact that Barricade disapperars for the last battle. I hate The fact that they couldn't finish the battle at teh Hoover Damnb and had to bring the batle into a HEAVILY POPULATE DAREA!!! WTF Wwas an Air Force CAptain thinking????? he was NOT tghinking or Orci And Kurtzman ****ed up another story element. Asses. I hate the fact that a little puny human was so reliant upon the almighty Autobots to do something. They are vastly superior race of powerful cratures who coutld have easily crushed Shia...but they RELIED upon him to saive their behinds....I'm confusedm, bewildereed and hurt. So freekin sue. me.

But in the end...its okay...becauyse I LOVE the positives WAAAY more than the Negatives. I LOVE this movie. I LOVE transformers...and I can only pray that a sequel will TRULY bring what I feel is Transforemers to life. While this ISN"t what I've always imaginesd a Transformers movie to be......it still IS a dream come true to see my heroes on the screen...kicking ass and shouting "ONE SHALL STAND........AND ONE SHALL FALL!!!!!!!"

 

[xwolverine2]

typos galore....

please take some pills...

 

[nosebleed.]

Goodnite...ai m goijng to havg sex.

 

[dimmutaker]

Didn't we have another one of these "reviews" threads already?

 

[OverMyHead]

This was the review we were all waiting for?

*shakes head*

 

[xwolverine2]

Goodnite...ai m goijng to havg sex.

with victoria alexander?

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/transformers_the_movie/reviews_users_article.php?articleid=1643677

 

[DorkyFresh]

i too a,m inebirated....and i too agreew with every point that you make. the movie hhas major flaws like the overly comedic tone, MAJOR lack of character develoipment and plot holes the size of texas....but i too agree that the positives outweight he negatives. it's f****in' Transformers done MOSTLY right on the big screen, kicking @$$ and taking names. TILL ALL ARE ONE!!!

 

[nosebleed.]

This was the review we were all waiting for?

*shakes head*

DON'T taek this threaed seriously...

http://forums.superherohype.com/showthread.php?p=12052888#post12052888

THAT is my real review.

 

[*Dead*End*]

Seeeeri-isly?

My review is in the other review thread!

 

[mMark]

true that. nothing perfect, you can always pick up some flaws out of everyting, I guess that's just what negatrons are busy doing right now.

anyway, think about it the other way around, those negative critics could be good for the movie's sequel, right?

will think of something to write.

 

[nosebleed.]

i...have...a...headache

 

[Arcturus]

lol at this thread,

take some asprin nosebleed, it should make your noggin feel better.

 

[The Kid]

I wwwwish... waaaahhht!! what, you wanna fight?

I wwish shia did some dancing and sshhhhtt like spidey. Bay you don't know true comedy wtf with the dog peeing, shhht, bay.

lozl

 

[The Kid]

i too a,m inebirated....and i too agreew with every point that you make. the movie hhas major flaws like the overly comedic tone, MAJOR lack of character develoipment and plot holes the size of texas....but i too agree that the positives outweight he negatives. it's f****in' Transformers done MOSTLY right on the big screen, kicking @$$ and taking names. TILL ALL ARE ONE!!!

Yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuu gotts da tuch mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...... you gotttttttttttttttt tha pooooowwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 

[Theweepeople]

After reading everything that Orci said on the transformers message board it appears as though he did something similar to what Simon Kinberg did on thexverse.com for X-Men 3. Both writers deceived fans for months about what was going to be in their films. I'm not sure if Orci's answers to questions were intentionally deceptive or not. A lot of his answers to questions were vague and subjective while 90% of Kinberg's answers were definitely lies.

I remember thinking positive things about after they had that open web telecast last year. They spent a lot of time talking about the transformers personalities and suggested that all the characters would get proper development.

I'm going to see the movie tommorrow but, based on what I've heard this franchise would have better off without Orci and Kruztman as the writers. I'm glad that they won't be writing for the sequel but, I'm scared at their involvement with Star Trek.

 

[bluejake01]

Ok...5 beers in and 7 more to go.

Here is my buzzed to the point of almost drunk review. I don't think it woll be much different than my sober one. Mayhaps it will be...hey...Scrubs is on...cool.

I loved the movie. It was no more cheesy, no mo0re contrived, no more corny, no more logical than it's source material. It was, exactly what it should have been. That said, I know that the deal breaker for me would have been if they kept Frenzy as Soundwave. No matter how good the movie might be, if Soundwave ever acted like that little ***** bot I would have a very hard time seeing any thing good in the movie. I guess other fans have different deal breakers than I do. I only hoppe that if Frenzy was soundwave in the movie that I would have th efortitude and moxie to see past it and still love the mo0vie. I guess what I am saying is that I can see why negatrons might be upset, if they had different things that were their deal breakers. Though, honestlyu after seeing the kickassery of the movie I was tempted to just come on here and say "**** you" to the naysayers...always naysayers wantsa to say nay...just nay...never yay...

 

[Masut]

Yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuu gotts da tuch mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...... you gotttttttttttttttt tha pooooowwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Quiet you, or I'll keep commenting your fuzzy quality YouTube video until you cry.



NINJA VANISH!

 

[Avangarde]

I have a few doobies on the ready when I go back for viewing number 3, oh the colourful language I shall use here will be, well colourful

 

[Golgo-13]

O.k i think my review belongs here as i was a bit initially harsh, as i was in a 'drunken state' of shock after viewing the movie:

Let me repost my review here. Sadly, this is where it belongs:

GOLGO13's OFFICIAL TF REVIEW

O.k i just literaly walk in from the movie theatre, and man...............

.......i'm a big fan of horror movies, yes i am...and what i just witness was one of the biggest horrors of my life.......THE MOVIE SUCKED!

I'm a G1 fan, there's no question about it and i knew going into Bay's TF that this movie wasn't G1...but that's not the reason why it was unbearable to watch...it was just a bad movie, period.

PROS

The flawless CGI from ILM

Shia as SAM good performance. One of the few good performance in this film, as aside from the robots.

Bernie Mac- surprisely i like his performance. maybe because it was short, and too the point.

The G1 homages.


CONS

...where do i begin?

Megan Fox- completely useless. The whole "i didn't want to tell you about my dad" angle of her story made me wanna curl up and die. Poor, poor acting.

The score...completely terrible! This can mean the difference between a good movie and a bad movie, and it proved the latter. The music, the rock score,etc that played during some of the action scenes (Notibly when Barricade was chasing BB and Sam) was atrocious. The score sounded like it was comosed by an middle school music band..really!

Dialogue/comedy - again horrible. Even a veteran actor like Voight sounded like an idiot. Why, oh why was the comedy dragged on, and on and on? I was waiting for Jim Carrey to pop up on screen at any minute. Thank god Dane Cook wasn't in this thing, i don't think i could have taken another cringe worthy comedic scene - especially the one with the cop in the police station ****ing with Sam- like i said, if Dane Cook had made it into this movie, i would have pulled the straw out of my cherry Coke soda and gouged my own ****ing eyes out! Yes, it was that bad. It made the scene in Star Wars episode 3, where Anakin tells Padme, "No, i'm ssooo in love with you" seem like the performance that would win an oscar.

Really, the comedy angle of this film is milked, and milked and milked..until ALL the cows come home.

BIG WTF MOMENTS:

Prime saying- "My bad!" O.K, haha you got me. Earlier reviews said it wasn't in there, but i heard it as clear as day. Jokes on me.

Megatron came to earth to turn all of Earth's technology into an army thousands of years ago...when earth had no ****ing technology.WTF?

Frenzy or should i say Gizmo/Gremlin tip toeing inbetween ppl after he escapes from Air Force one, in plain view to meet up with Barricade, and nobody see's him. WTF?

The ALLspark has the ability to only make Decepticons ala the tiny one in the glass box at Sector Seven, the Vending machine ,and the one that ate that gitsy chicks face off in the car. WTF?

The cop trying to intimidate Sam at the police station with the gun. WTF?:

Devastor/Brawl being everybody punching bag. WTF?

Bonecrusher being owned by Prime after only getting One minute and 30 seconds of screentime.WTF?

And my biggest wft......WTF happened to Barricade????????????

Summary

I think most on here knew the story going into this movie, as did i.I read the script thoroughly. I knew and excepted all the design changes (which looked good on screen btw), and knew and accepted that this movie wasn't gonna be G1 but all that still didn't prepare me for this movie sucking as bad as it did. THE ONLY saving grace of this movie are the robots themselves. Their voices, movement and characters (even though short, or non-existant with the Decepticon) was perfect. Other than that you've got a very lousy movie, with even lousier dialogue and worst of all poor perfomances.

I don't know, maybe after a second viewing i may warm up to it. The only reason i'm going to see it again, is because i promised my 5 year old that i'd take him, otherwise i would wait for the dvd. I truly found myself struggling to sit through this first viewing; which is a bad sign.

Like i said before, i may warm up to Transformers later on, after the horror of it wears off. My only hope is that they VASTLY improve on the characterization of the bots and the script for TF2. I felt almost the same way about TF as i did about X Men 1, but eventually warmed up to it later...and X Men 2 rocked, so there's hope on that front.

Can't blame Michael Bay for this. Michael Bay is..well, Michael Bay. It's like being pissed at a duck for acting like a duck. Speilburg on the other hand, should have known the whole cube thing didn't make sense. Did he have his head buried to far in Indy 4 to notice? Or maybe it was up his own ass...i'd like to know.

In closing i'd like to say that if you enjoyed Ang Lee's HULK movie you'll enjoy this, it's about the same caliber; awesome cgi with an unbearable story around it.

Now if you'll excuse me, i'm still pondering whether or not i should go and slit my wrists.

Golgo13's Transformers review:

7/10 - seven for the CGI and Sam-only.

 

[nosebleed.]

uuuuhhhh....my head kills.

but i lol at Michael "Duck" Bay.

 

[Golgo-13]

WOW!WOW!WOW!

I just got back from my second viewing ..and it was an utterly different experience. I had said before that the movie sucked, well i recant my statement! The comedy was still a bit much, but i knew it was coming so i tolaterated it more..but man, what a first movie!

Things i noticed on the second time seeing it:

1) Scorponok survived! Can't belive i missed that on my first view.

2)The Sector Seven suit 'Tom Banachek' was indeed the hologram image used by the Decepticons. Why did they use him? Is there a deeper reason behind it than explored?

PS i didn't notice Barricade arm on the shi, when the other Decepticons were being disposed by the military, as others has said. I saw pieces of Blackout, and Megs but no Barricade. I believe he, scorponok and Starscream are the 3 surviving Decepticon.

I changed my last score of 7/10 to a solid 9!

 

[nosebleed.]

Golgo MUST be inebriated...wow.

t:

 

[CFlash]

You wouldn't have wanted to see my inebriated review last night. It would not have been pretty. Even after I woke up I was still pissed off. I think I woke up yelling "hey Anthony Anderson-- find a speaker- you can use it as a microphone you f***ing idiot."

Then after I went back to sleep I dreamt Optimus Prime was rushing me to get out of the bathroom at the bar I had been in earlier. "Hurry Up! Sheesh!"

 

[nogster]

well i loved it and i thought i would be in cflash's camp, having read the script and every spoiler i could get my hands on prior to seeing it...i went in with very low expectations and came out beaming....yeah the plot was silly and their were some stupid moments and some things wernt resolved etc etc....but man it rocked hard.....bought out the kid in me.. heaps better than i thought it would be..
and i thought the autobots characters were great.....just as good as the series....i mean, they had no depth in the show, its just that there were some episodes that focused on a character and only then was there some sort of character depth, but mostly it was just one liners showing their attitudes etc...
ironhide was still the fiesty grizzled vet.
ratchet was still the grizzled medic....
jazz was still the cool "black guy". [albiet mixed with cliffjumpers personality i thought]
and bumblebee was honourable and loyal. [more goldbug than bb though].
i loved it...thought it was faithfull to the source material, but updated and re-imagined for todays times..