Little Willie, full of glee, Put radium in grandma's tea. Now he thinks it quite a lark To see her shining in the dark. Little Willie with a thirst for gore Nailed his mommy's baby to the door. Mother said with humor quaint, Willie dear, don't spoil the paint. Willie was thirsty in chemistry, But now he is nevermore. For what he thought was H2O Was H2SO4! Willie thought that life was a bore, So he drank some H2SO4. But his dad was an M.D. Who gave him some CaCO3. Now Willie's neutralized, it's true, But he's also full of CO2! Willie looking in the gun vPulls the trigger just for fun. Mother says in tones so pained, "Willie is so scatter-brained" Little Willie, wrapped in sashes, Fell in the fire and burned to ashes. Now the house grows damp and chilly, Because we haven't the heart to poke poor Willie. Little Willie, with a shout, Gouged his brother's eyeballs out. Stomped on them to make them pop. Mother said, "Now Willie, stop." Little Willie took a rocket, Put it in his father's pocket. Then he said to cousin Dan, "Daddy is a traveling man." Little Willie found a mirror, Went and sucked the mercury off, Thinking in his childish error, It would cure his whooping cough. At the funeral, Willie's mother Sadly said to Mrs. Brown, "'Twas a chilly day for Willie When the mercury went down." Little Willie, home from school, Where he'd learned the Golden Rule, Said, "If I eat all this cake, Sis won't get a stomach ache." Little Willie, Brand new skates Hole in ice Pearly gates Willie bashed open baby's head To see if brains are gray or red What a naughty boy is he He shall have no jam for tea. Willie poisoned Auntie's tea Auntie died in agony. Uncle came and looked quite vexed. "Really, Will," he said, "what next?" Little Willie, mean as hell Drowned his sister in the well. Mother said, while drawing water, "Gee, it's hard to raise a daughter." Little Willie at a passing gent Threw a batch of fresh cement. Then he said, "Wait until you dry! Then you'll be a real hard guy!" Little Willie on his bike Through the village took a hike. Mrs. Thompson blocked the walk; She will live, but still can't talk. Willie fell down the elevator, Wasn't found 'till six days later. Then the neighbors sniffed, "Gee whiz! What a spoiled child Willie is!" Willie in the cauldron fell; See the grief on mother's brow! Mother loved her Darling well, Willie's quite hard-boiled by now. Willie's cute as cute can be. Beneath his brother, only three, He lit a stick of dynamite. Now brother's simply out of sight. Willie, I regret to state, Cut his sister up for bait. We miss her when it's time to dine, But Willie's fish taste simply fine. Willie's on the railroad track The engine gave a squeal. The engineer just took a spade, And scraped him off the wheel. Little Willie hung his sister, She was dead before we missed her. Willie's always up to tricks! Ain't he cute? He's only six! Willie poisoned Father's tea. Father died in agony. Mother was extremely vexed. "Really, Will," she said, "what next?" In the family drinking well Willie pushed his sister Nell. She's there yet because it kilt her. Now we have to buy a filter. Willie with a thirst for gore Nailed his sister to the door. Mother said with humor quaint, "Willie dear, don't scratch the paint." Willie saw some dynamite, Couldn't understand it quite; Curiosity never pays: It rained Willie seven days. Little Willie fell down a drain; Couldn't scramble out again. Now he's floating in the sewer The world is left one Willie fewer. Willie coming home from school, Spied a dollar near a mule. Stopped to get it, quiet as a mouse. Funerals tomorrow at Willie's house.