Me and Her: we hit a snag and now nothing

[Spider - Man]

Back in Feb, I met this girl in college and we've became friends. It started as classmates, then friends on facebook, and later in March we shared our numbers and we texted until after school ended where we now called each other. Approaching my last day, I asked if she would like to have lunch with me, she said yes. On my last day, she had no classes to attend, but decided to come anyway because of me. After talking for an hour, it was time to leave, and it was on the tip of my tongue to ask her out, something my friends said I should and not beat around the bush. But surprisingly, she asked first; asking if I was interested in hanging out/meet up, and later asking if I would like to meet her family. I said yes, but also added my question in the mix: go out, and have dinner sometime; she said yes. We hugged, and the day ended great.

A couple weeks later, I asked her if she wanted to have dinner with me on a Saturday, and while she said yes, days later she asked if it was a date. I panicked, because I didn't know how to respond, so I said truthfully that I didn't know, but my friends assumed it was, and that it is a complex answer. She responded that she just wanted to know, and the day was still on, but later she texted that she wanted to hang out as friends and no misunderstanding. I didn't know what else to do, but I called her later that night and she could tell something was wrong with my voice (I guess it was because it seemed like "that" wasn't an option, though my friends suggested we might be moving too fast), but we talked on the phone like it was normal. The dinner didn't happen due to family problems, so she suggested Dave & Busters with her and her siblings. But it seemed like it wouldn't be worth it, because her sister couldn't come and our times couldn't match, but there was seeing a movie on the later week. Now, the confusion started when, in my mind, it sounded like going out/hanging out wasn't going to happen unless someone else was with us, and I was just assuring her that it was okay if it was just the two of us, because we hanged out before. Looking back, I know that sounded confusing, because I believe she misunderstood me. The next day, she texted me saying that maybe the movie idea shouldn't happen because it sounded like a date because I wanted to be alone with her. It was not a date, and when I tried to call her or text to explain that she misunderstood me, I got nothing. So I left a voicemail the next day, and was told by my friends to wait for her response. A week later, with nothing from her, I tried her again and again, with attempting to call her, texts, and another voicemail and got nothing. She's still on my facebook, so I sent a message asking why was she ignoring me and I know she read it but nothing too. Over time during the summer, I either called or texted once in a while, and nothing was sent back to me. Then last week, under the advice from some self-help sites, I sent a message stating how I was feeling over this and didn't know she was doing this to me, what I said was misunderstood and confusing, but in the end wanting to resolve it so we can go back to how things were before it started. She did read it, but like before, nothing. Perhaps she's waiting, but I don't know; I don't know anymore.

I really don't know what to do; she's never done this before, which is why I would say it's out of the ordinary for her to do this. I want to talk to her again because I miss her, but because of this situation, I don't know what to say or what to do so she can answer her phone, or reply to my texts, etc. I know after looking information up that she hasn't blocked me, so that can, maybe/maybe not, be a good sign. This can't be a case of no hope, because she didn't block me, and regardless of facebook not really meaning anything, I'm still on her's. I mean she can be shy all the time, so could she be embarrassed. Or, could I have scared her away? If so, the question still reminds: how can I get her back? One idea I had was to contact her sister and ask her, and keep in mind I never met her family, but she did say she had told them about me (pre-all this), so maybe...

I just want to talk to her again and have it be like it was, and I need help to do so. Anyone?

Women are the wierdest beings on the planet. They are easy to understand but that understanding doesn't come naturally. Some men think that the way to win a woman is to shower her with kindness, gifts, etc. That is the WORST way to seal the deal with a woman. You need to balance every gift or kind act with something that pisses her off or causes an argument. This keeps her off guard and confused as to where things stand. Look at all the times you tried to contact this girl. I'm sorry to tell you but she is not interested in ANYTHING to do with you as evidenced by the fact that she's reading your messages and not responding. Women don;t respect a guy who fawns over them and relentlessly wants to know "What's wrong? What did I do?" The best thing you could have done was to just break all contact after the first unreturned attempt. HAd you done that, shoe would have called you by now if she was interested in you at all. I don;t mean this in an ugly way, but with every call and text you sent, she saw you more and more as a needy wimp and the less she wanted to do with you. Women need to believe that you know you would be JUST FINE without them, maybe even better in fact. No woman can resist the challenge of making themselves irresistable to you but once they know they have, the challenge is gone. HOw do you think these guys you see who look like they're 100 pounds soaking wet, haven't shaved or bathed in a week and like they fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down have some hot blonde on their arm? It is because, in their mind, they are the settler and they let the hot blonde know this all the time. They use cocky little put downs (not abusive stuff, but playful BUT it still has an effect) and 'threats' (I know 10 other women waiting on me) to let them know that she doesn;t have them wrapped around her finger. Good guys think they are showing their woman respect by deliberately not looking at another woman. The man who knows how to keep a woman will not only look at another woman but tell his girl how he loved that other woman's (fill in the blank).

I'm sorry to tell you, man, but this girl wants nothing to do with you. At the very least she has revealed her character to you. Best you can do is STOP trying to talk to her, forget about her, retain whatever dignity you have left and move on. If she does try to call you back, don;t fall back into the same trap of thinking that you can go back to behaving like you were before because that's why she called you back. If she does call back, it will be because you STOPPED acting the way you were (i.e.: calling and texting her relentlessly). Be a man and realize that no woman is worth ruining you're emotional health over. Hey, I'm married and my wife is crystal clear on the fact that I love her but if she chose to walk out, to me it would be her loss. That is the attitude you should have in every interaction/relationship you ever have with a woman.

Here's an idea: Find the hottest girl you know (one that she doesn;t know), take a pic with her and then post in on Facebook with the message "me and _____ ". Girls are willing to help out a guy especially if they know it is to make another girl jealous. I'm sure you could tell some cute girl that and get her to pose with you in a sweet, cuddly way. If nothing else, that will get the message across that you are over her and have moved on. Just don;t ruin it by trying to call or text her if you don't get some response. JUst a thought!

 

[Erzengel]

Women are the wierdest beings on the planet. They are easy to understand but that understanding doesn't come naturally. Some men think that the way to win a woman is to shower her with kindness, gifts, etc. That is the WORST way to seal the deal with a woman. You need to balance every gift or kind act with something that pisses her off or causes an argument. This keeps her off guard and confused as to where things stand. Look at all the times you tried to contact this girl. I'm sorry to tell you but she is not interested in ANYTHING to do with you as evidenced by the fact that she's reading your messages and not responding. Women don;t respect a guy who fawns over them and relentlessly wants to know "What's wrong? What did I do?" The best thing you could have done was to just break all contact after the first unreturned attempt. HAd you done that, shoe would have called you by now if she was interested in you at all. I don;t mean this in an ugly way, but with every call and text you sent, she saw you more and more as a needy wimp and the less she wanted to do with you. Women need to believe that you know you would be JUST FINE without them, maybe even better in fact. No woman can resist the challenge of making themselves irresistable to you but once they know they have, the challenge is gone. HOw do you think these guys you see who look like they're 100 pounds soaking wet, haven't shaved or bathed in a week and like they fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down have some hot blonde on their arm? It is because, in their mind, they are the settler and they let the hot blonde know this all the time. They use cocky little put downs (not abusive stuff, but playful BUT it still has an effect) and 'threats' (I know 10 other women waiting on me) to let them know that she doesn;t have them wrapped around her finger. Good guys think they are showing their woman respect by deliberately not looking at another woman. The man who knows how to keep a woman will not only look at another woman but tell his girl how he loved that other woman's (fill in the blank).

I'm sorry to tell you, man, but this girl wants nothing to do with you. At the very least she has revealed her character to you. Best you can do is STOP trying to talk to her, forget about her, retain whatever dignity you have left and move on. If she does try to call you back, don;t fall back into the same trap of thinking that you can go back to behaving like you were before because that's why she called you back. If she does call back, it will be because you STOPPED acting the way you were (i.e.: calling and texting her relentlessly). Be a man and realize that no woman is worth ruining you're emotional health over. Hey, I'm married and my wife is crystal clear on the fact that I love her but if she chose to walk out, to me it would be her loss. That is the attitude you should have in every interaction/relationship you ever have with a woman.

While you do have some points, I don't subscribe to the whole "pissing her off to offset being nice to her" or "posting a pic of him with another attractive female" that's not going to make him feel better because more often that not, the other girl isn't going to care.

I think the main point is being nice =/= being a doormat.

 

[Zeus]

As a man, I have to say stand up and walk away. She's not interested and after a certain point some girls would prefer to men be only friends on the on-set. This girl is like that, she isnt one of those girls who tells you to be friends and lets keep it moving.

Reality is, this happens all the time. Some chicks think they are hot stuff so already assume guys also want more than just to hang out.

You'll meet new girls, stop dwelling on it is what I suggest.

 

[dodong27]

As a woman, I have to say STAHP AND WALK AWAY.

That is all. You can't make a girl reply to your texts or answer her phone. Her silence is enough. You had lunch once, she doesn't owe you a breakup meeting or even an email.

^There you go... you heard it from a respected source.

 

[Spider - Man]

While you do have some points, I don't subscribe to the whole "pissing her off to offset being nice to her" or "posting a pic of him with another attractive female" that's not going to make him feel better because more often that not, the other girl isn't going to care.

I think the main point is being nice =/= being a doormat.

The degree to which you should piss her off is based on the degree to which she may deserve it. But you're right, it is about not being a doormat. Lots of guys who are somehow with a hot babe and often find themselves looking around wondering how they got that lucky are prima candidates to change who they are to satisfy the woman not realizing that this breeds disrespect like nothing else. When I say do stuff to "piss her off" I guess what I mean is just let her know that she doesn;t have you wrapped around her finger. Of course you can be nice as long as it doesn;t compromise your principles. Some women try to pull a spur of the moment request when they know their man had other plans just to se if he will change his plans for her. That is death of the respect a woman will have for a man should he give in. Women are always testing. I told my wife when we first started dating that one of the things I valued most was my free time, a certain amount of time each week that I would take just for myself, to do whatever I wanted to do without her or anyone else. Guess what? 8 years later, I take my free time. She has tried to test that but quickly realized that I meant what I said.

The 'putting the picture on Facebook' is just if he wants to give her a parting shot. She may not care at all but he sounds pretty hurt. At the very least he might feel he took control of the situation in some way and create some closure for himself that way. To each his own.

 

[Erzengel]

I'm with someone who's never tried to impose on my me time. I never even had to state it as a rule. If I have plans to go out with some friends, and something comes up. I still go out with my friends and nothing is said about it.

Relationships are about mutual respect not trying to have the upper hand. That goes for both genders.

And I feel adding the picture is just something petty. And with the story given on their "relationship" or lack thereof, it just seems like a lot of wasted effort on his part. I mean she wasn't interested in him. She kinda asked from the beginning is this a date? It doesn't even seem like she lead him on. So he has to take a parting shot at her because she has to be punished because he got his feelings hurt?

 

[jaymes_e06]

Guys if she doesn't get back with you the first attempt...

She's
Just not
that into you.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

So from a female perspective:

Back in Feb, I met this girl in college and we became friends. It started as classmates, then friends on facebook, and later in March we shared our numbers and we texted until after school ended where we now called each other. Approaching my last day, I asked if she would like to have lunch with me, she said yes. On my last day, she had no classes to attend, but decided to come anyway because of me.

None of what you've described says anything more than friendship to me.

After talking for an hour, it was time to leave, and it was on the tip of my tongue to ask her out, something my friends said I should and not beat around the bush. But surprisingly, she asked first; asking if I was interested in hanging out/meet up, and later asking if I would like to meet her family. I said yes, but also added my question in the mix: go out, and have dinner sometime; she said yes. We hugged, and the day ended great.

So she asked if you wanted to continue hanging out as friends, maybe do something with her and her sisters.

And you tried to turn it around into more of a date, which she initally agreed to cause she didn't quite get your intention.

A couple weeks later, I asked her if she wanted to have dinner with me on a Saturday, and while she said yes, days later she asked if it was a date.

I'd imagine her family and friends picked up on your actual intentions, and advised her that if she didn't feel the same she should be clear with you and not lead you on.

I panicked, because I didn't know how to respond, so I said truthfully that I didn't know, but my friends assumed it was, and that it is a complex answer.

It is not a complex answer, it is a totally simply answer. You just sensed her tone (that said 'I hope this isn't a date) and didn't want her to back out of it, so tried to be as vague as possible so she'd still agree to it.

She responded that she just wanted to know, and the day was still on, but later she texted that she wanted to hang out as friends and no misunderstanding.

Good for her, at least one of you was being straight.

I didn't know what else to do, but I called her later that night and she could tell something was wrong with my voice (I guess it was because it seemed like "that" wasn't an option, though my friends suggested we might be moving too fast), but we talked on the phone like it was normal.

Bit confused by this. Are you saying you called her up sounding upset about the fact a proper date wasn't an option?

Well yeah, that's a good way of cementing in her mind that you definitely saw this differently than she did.

The dinner didn't happen due to family problems

Hers or yours?

Cause if it was hers, I guarantee there were no family problems.

So she suggested Dave & Busters with her and her siblings. But it seemed like it wouldn't be worth it, because her sister couldn't come and our times couldn't match, but there was seeing a movie on the later week. Now, the confusion started when, in my mind, it sounded like going out/hanging out wasn't going to happen unless someone else was with us

Well... Yeah...

This is where she has to arm herself with back up so that you DEFINITELY don't get the wrong impression that it's a date. Because she has now obviously become uncomfortable about what you might be expecting if she doesn't make that clear.

And fair play to the girl, she must have been fond of your friendship to try this hard to keep it.

And I was just assuring her that it was okay if it was just the two of us, because we hanged out before. Looking back, I know that sounded confusing, because I believe she misunderstood me. The next day, she texted me saying that maybe the movie idea shouldn't happen because it sounded like a date because I wanted to be alone with her.

Any girl would do the same IMO.

If you've made it totally clear that you just wanna hang out as friends, but the guy keeps pushing for one on one time and inviting you to go places that are date associated.

Dinner or a movie, for a girl and a boy, is pretty date like unless your brother/sister close.

I mean, I have a lot of male mates, and some of them I even hang out with just the two of us. But it's never dinner or a movie.

It was not a date.

Yeah it was. You know that's what you wanted. And that's what you hoped she meant when she asked you to hang out the first time.

But the truth is, the minute she made it clear a date wasn't on the table, it should have been over.

You should have said 'Ah, I was hoping for a date, i'm interested in you. If you definitely don't feel the same, maybe it'd be a bit silly hanging out one on one'.

Sure, that seems like a hit to your pride and it'd be embarrasing in the moment. But she'd respect you a hell of a lot more for that.

And when I tried to call her or text to explain that she misunderstood me, I got nothing. So I left a voicemail the next day, and was told by my friends to wait for her response. A week later, with nothing from her

What did you say in your text and voicemail?

I'd imagine whatever you said, and however you said it, is the reason why she never responded.

It would have cemented the conclusion she was coming to - that you wanted to go out with her, and were desperately trying to cover up that fact so that you could still get to see her and try and 'win her over'...

... which as she knew was never going to happen, she realised the kindest thing to do would be to not even humour you by listening to your denials, but to be 'cruel to be kind' and not give you anything more to latch on to and get the wrong impression from.

I tried her again and again, with attempting to call her, texts, and another voicemail and got nothing.

And at that point, you have now become someone this girl will NEVER want to hang out with again. She probably wonders how this happened, when you seemed alright at first. Her friends and family have now completely warned her off you and are advising her to not reply.

She's still on my facebook, so I sent a message asking why was she ignoring me and I know she read it but nothing too.

It's entirely possible her friends have now nicknamed you psycho boy, and are trying to cheer her up by making fun of the situation.

Over time during the summer, I either called or texted once in a while, and nothing was sent back to me. Then last week, under the advice from some self-help sites, I sent a message stating how I was feeling over this and didn't know she was doing this to me, what I said was misunderstood and confusing, but in the end wanting to resolve it so we can go back to how things were before it started. She did read it, but like before, nothing.

How long has it been since that first voicemail and you are STILL sending her messages?

Seriously, dude...

Perhaps she's waiting, but I don't know; I don't know anymore.

She's waiting for you to back the **** off.

I really don't know what to do; she's never done this before, which is why I would say it's out of the ordinary for her to do this.

What she has done is completely ordinary.

You are the one acting out of the ordinary.

I want to talk to her again because I miss her.

Which is how everyone feels when they have to handle rejection from someone they have feelings for.

But because of this situation, I don't know what to say or what to do so she can answer her phone, or reply to my texts, etc.

NOTHING.

You cannot control this situation. You cannot control a women's feelings, OR her actions.

Now, some people are fairly good at understanding other people and can find ways of turning a situation around (though I doubt even the most skilled charmer could come back from this one).

But YOU are not one of those people.

Give up.

I know after looking information up that she hasn't blocked me, so that can, maybe/maybe not, be a good sign. This can't be a case of no hope, because she didn't block me, and regardless of facebook not really meaning anything, I'm still on her's.

Maybe she's trying not to dig the knife in because she's a nice person and can see that you really liked her and aren't dealing with it well.

Or maybe she is afraid if she deletes you, you'll get angry and turn dangerous...

I mean she can be shy all the time, so could she be embarrassed. Or, could I have scared her away?

You have embarrassed youself and her.

And you have most definitely scared her away.

I can't even understand why you need to ask that question, as from what I can gather the timeline is at least an entire summer since you last spoke... OF COURSE you've scared her away What other scenarios are you imagining?

If so, the question still remains: how can I get her back?

You absolutely can't.

And for that matter, you never had her in the first place.

One idea I had was to contact her sister and ask her, and keep in mind I never met her family, but she did say she had told them about me (pre-all this), so maybe...

If you contact her sister, I would imagine her sister will have a few harsh words to say to you if she is aware of what's happened.

She isn't going to help you convince her sister to see you again.

She's going to protect her sister from the guy who won't leave her alone.

As a woman, I have to say STAHP AND WALK AWAY.

That is all. You can't make a girl reply to your texts or answer her phone. Her silence is enough. You had lunch once, she doesn't owe you a breakup meeting or even an email.

 

[Teelie]

She doesn't owe him one but it would be polite to just tell him it's not going to happen.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

She doesn't owe him one but it would be polite to just tell him it's not going to happen.

It wouldn't help.

She'd say 'It's not going to happen'.

He'd say 'Why, I swear, you got the wrong end of the stick, it was never a date' (total lie).

She'd say 'I'm sorry, I just don't feel comfortable with it'.

He'd try bargaining, saying they could just meet for coffee and she could bring her sisters.

She'd say 'No, it really is just over'.

He'd still be questioning in frustration, not understanding why she won't just be his friend again.

And he'd be so wound up after such an unsatisfying attempt at 'getting her back', he'd probably start up the messaging on a regular basis all over again.

This way is much less messy, doesn't involve her having to argue with him or explain herself over and over because he just won't listen, and stops her getting herself anymore worked up or upset about it than just reading his constant stream of messages is making her.

 

[Teelie]

I don't know it wouldn't help... he's already barraged her with messages trying to find out what's going on. Maybe give him the benefit of a doubt and he'll drop it if she says she's not interested.

Then again, you might be right since he didn't seem to accept it sooner...

 

[Anita18]

Guys if she doesn't get back with you the first attempt...

She's
Just not
that into you.

Needs to be repeated.

You cannot win over a woman by being her doormat, or wining and dining her, or buying her jewelry, or being mean to her, or any other combination of those. She's not a vending machine, she's a person. She's into you, or she's not. If she's not, just move on. Plenty of fish in the sea.

I don't know it wouldn't help... he's already barraged her with messages trying to find out what's going on. Maybe give him the benefit of a doubt and he'll drop it if she says she's not interested.

Then again, you might be right since he didn't seem to accept it sooner...

I used to use an online dating site. (I stopped because I met my husband on one.) I checked messages every two weeks, replying to those I found interesting and deleting those I did not. I figured, who has time to reply to every single one? My non-reply would certainly get the message across, right?

The quickest way to the block button was when a guy would message me again going, "I can't believe you didn't reply to my message! You're missing out!" And you bet I didn't reply to that either.

So although it might be selfish-seeming behavior, but on the woman's part, it might be self-preservation too. (We don't know Binker, she does. She might feel he'll get stalker-ish if she replies. Definitely all assumptions though, and depends on the person, as all relationship things do.) A few guys always ruin it for everyone else.

 

[dodong27]

So from a female perspective:



None of what you've described says anything more than friendship to me.



So she asked if you wanted to continue hanging out as friends, maybe do something with her and her sisters.

And you tried to turn it around into more of a date, which she initally agreed to cause she didn't quite get your intention.



I'd imagine her family and friends picked up on your actual intentions, and advised her that if she didn't feel the same she should be clear with you and not lead you on.



It is not a complex answer, it is a totally simply answer. You just sensed her tone (that said 'I hope this isn't a date) and didn't want her to back out of it, so tried to be as vague as possible so she'd still agree to it.



Good for her, at least one of you was being straight.



Bit confused by this. Are you saying you called her up sounding upset about the fact a proper date wasn't an option?

Well yeah, that's a good way of cementing in her mind that you definitely saw this differently than she did.



Hers or yours?

Cause if it was hers, I guarantee there were no family problems.



Well... Yeah...

This is where she has to arm herself with back up so that you DEFINITELY don't get the wrong impression that it's a date. Because she has now obviously become uncomfortable about what you might be expecting if she doesn't make that clear.

And fair play to the girl, she must have been fond of your friendship to try this hard to keep it.



Any girl would do the same IMO.

If you've made it totally clear that you just wanna hang out as friends, but the guy keeps pushing for one on one time and inviting you to go places that are date associated.

Dinner or a movie, for a girl and a boy, is pretty date like unless your brother/sister close.

I mean, I have a lot of male mates, and some of them I even hang out with just the two of us. But it's never dinner or a movie.



Yeah it was. You know that's what you wanted. And that's what you hoped she meant when she asked you to hang out the first time.

But the truth is, the minute she made it clear a date wasn't on the table, it should have been over.

You should have said 'Ah, I was hoping for a date, i'm interested in you. If you definitely don't feel the same, maybe it'd be a bit silly hanging out one on one'.

Sure, that seems like a hit to your pride and it'd be embarrasing in the moment. But she'd respect you a hell of a lot more for that.



What did you say in your text and voicemail?

I'd imagine whatever you said, and however you said it, is the reason why she never responded.

It would have cemented the conclusion she was coming to - that you wanted to go out with her, and were desperately trying to cover up that fact so that you could still get to see her and try and 'win her over'...

... which as she knew was never going to happen, she realised the kindest thing to do would be to not even humour you by listening to your denials, but to be 'cruel to be kind' and not give you anything more to latch on to and get the wrong impression from.



And at that point, you have now become someone this girl will NEVER want to hang out with again. She probably wonders how this happened, when you seemed alright at first. Her friends and family have now completely warned her off you and are advising her to not reply.



It's entirely possible her friends have now nicknamed you psycho boy, and are trying to cheer her up by making fun of the situation.



How long has it been since that first voicemail and you are STILL sending her messages?

Seriously, dude...



She's waiting for you to back the **** off.



What she has done is completely ordinary.

You are the one acting out of the ordinary.



Which is how everyone feels when they have to handle rejection from someone they have feelings for.



NOTHING.

You cannot control this situation. You cannot control a women's feelings, OR her actions.

Now, some people are fairly good at understanding other people and can find ways of turning a situation around (though I doubt even the most skilled charmer could come back from this one).

But YOU are not one of those people.

Give up.



Maybe she's trying not to dig the knife in because she's a nice person and can see that you really liked her and aren't dealing with it well.

Or maybe she is afraid if she deletes you, you'll get angry and turn dangerous...



You have embarrassed youself and her.

And you have most definitely scared her away.

I can't even understand why you need to ask that question, as from what I can gather the timeline is at least an entire summer since you last spoke... OF COURSE you've scared her away What other scenarios are you imagining?



You absolutely can't.

And for that matter, you never had her in the first place.



If you contact her sister, I would imagine her sister will have a few harsh words to say to you if she is aware of what's happened.

She isn't going to help you convince her sister to see you again.

She's going to protect her sister from the guy who won't leave her alone.

Great breakdown!

 

[DarkSovereignty]

I don't think we are ever going to hear from binker on the subject again lol

 

[dodong27]

I don't think we are ever going to hear from binker on the subject again lol

LOL... Yup.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

She doesn't owe him one but it would be polite to just tell him it's not going to happen.

I totally don't believe that, they didn't have anything together. In my mind, within the 0-2 date frame you can just disappear. What are you going to say? I'm just not that into you, that the basic gist of it at that point in the "relationship"

 

[Marvolo]

This thread is basically a treatise on how Binker fails lol.

Moral: don't look for blind encouragement on the hype. We tell it to you straight.

 

[Teelie]

I said it was rude, I didn't say it was mandatory or required. Not calling to cancel a dental appointment has more offense around here though.

 

[Marvolo]

I said it was rude, I didn't say it was mandatory or required. Not calling to cancel a dental appointment has more offense around here though.

Not calling to cancel a business arrangement (doctor, dental etc) is bad business and wastes a professional's time. Not calling to say you don't want to date someone isnt the same. A person knows if they are getting a date or not. If they don't then they need to work on their social skills.

 

[Teelie]

I think you missed the point. Anyways, he's ironically done the same thing to this thread that was done to him so I think it's safe to say this is all moot.

 

[Marvolo]

I think you missed the point. Anyways, he's ironically done the same thing to this thread that was done to her so I think it's safe to say this is all moot.

Pretty much. Its too bad. The advice has been good in here. I'm proud of the hype lol. Between our pointless geek debates and arguments we can squeeze in some words of wisdom.

 

[Spider - Man]

I'm with someone who's never tried to impose on my me time. I never even had to state it as a rule. If I have plans to go out with some friends, and something comes up. I still go out with my friends and nothing is said about it.

Relationships are about mutual respect not trying to have the upper hand. That goes for both genders.

And I feel adding the picture is just something petty. And with the story given on their "relationship" or lack thereof, it just seems like a lot of wasted effort on his part. I mean she wasn't interested in him. She kinda asked from the beginning is this a date? It doesn't even seem like she lead him on. So he has to take a parting shot at her because she has to be punished because he got his feelings hurt?

Not that I'm advocating what he did, but what done is done so from that perspective, you don't think it's rude as hell that she let him make attempt after attempt to contact her without at least acknowledging it?

 

[Marvolo]

Not that I'm advocating what he did, but what done is done so from that perspective, you don't think it's rude as hell that she let him make attempt after attempt to contact her without at least acknowledging it?

The only thing she did wrong was not blocking him off her facebook. That would have been the best thing to do. It would have said everything that needed to be said.

 

[StrainedEyes]

Not that I'm advocating what he did, but what done is done so from that perspective, you don't think it's rude as hell that she let him make attempt after attempt to contact her without at least acknowledging it?

We don't know what this guy was saying in those texts and phone calls (or the actual frequency), so it's not really possible to make a judgement call. Based on how obsessed he comes off in his post, no, I'm willing to bet her ignoring him was perfectly reasonable.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

The only thing she did wrong was not blocking him off her facebook. That would have been the best thing to do. It would have said everything that needed to be said.

That would send a message, but be callous. What's wrong with taking two minutes to write a "let's just be friends" or "sorry, but I'm not looking for a relationship" message to the poor guy?