My Cat gave me a black eye!

[Kyalesyin]

One of my mothers cats had a heabut strong enough it could leave bruises. He was only a little thing, but it was all muscle...

You should be proud of having such a big strong cat!

 

[Dew k. Mosi]

If only you had captured the action on video, then we can have all sorts of gifs with captions of "I'm Rick James, female-gendered-canine!"

Especially if this was last year when that might've been funny

 

[Cobblepot]

Every morning around 05.30 (I used to go out of bed around that time, but not for a while now.) my cat starts rampaging through the room, wanting attention and a full plate of catfood. It drives me nuts...

 

[Dew k. Mosi]

Yeah exactly what happens here. My aunt wakes up at 5:30 and that wakes him up. He does not want to wait until I get up at noon to eat I guess.

 

[Cobblepot]

But no one wakes up anymore around that time here. I just can't undo the little buggers eco clock. I'm afraid he'll wake us up at 5.30 for the next 12 years. ANd you really can't stay in bed, he'll ruin the drapes, closets whatever he can scratch or climb in. It's really funny if it wasn't so damn annoying.

 

[Kritish]

No one's going to believe that your cat gave you a black eye. t:

 

[Dew k. Mosi]

I was in an episode of Power Rangers once, and they gave me a black eye at make-up. It was a short day, so I went home, forgetting about the make-up and stopped at the grocery store. No one would meet my eye except a gay guy who put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Honey, he did it once, he'll do it again. You need to leave his ass."

 

[jaguarr]

that cat is a pimp

Haha! "Wake up and go make mah money, beyotch!" *HEADBUTT!*

jag

 

[Dew k. Mosi]

 

[jaguarr]

jag

 

[Morg]

So you all remember my stories about my weird ass aunt who thought I had stolen her sweaters and her shoes, and the noisy ticking clock. Well, things have calmed down with her so I've been ok, lately.

Well, this morning, my stupid cat Deputy bashed me in the face with his hard kitty skull to wake me up for breakfast.

See how unrepentent he is?

My eye has been bugging me all day and I didn't pay much attention, but I just glanced in the mirror and I have a ****ing black eye!

I'mma kill him!

You weren't giving it enough attention and he smacked you for ignoring him

 

[Abaddon]

I was in an episode of Power Rangers once, and they gave me a black eye at make-up. It was a short day, so I went home, forgetting about the make-up and stopped at the grocery store. No one would meet my eye except a gay guy who put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Honey, he did it once, he'll do it again. You need to leave his ass."

ROFL!

 

[Mr.Webs]

I was in an episode of Power Rangers once, and they gave me a black eye at make-up. It was a short day, so I went home, forgetting about the make-up and stopped at the grocery store. No one would meet my eye except a gay guy who put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Honey, he did it once, he'll do it again. You need to leave his ass."

That whole image is something I will forever cherish.

 

[Super Kal]

this is why I don't have a cat for a pet

 

[Lord Valumart]

this is why I don't have a cat for a pet

it's why a cat doesn;t have you as a pet. we think it's us that own them...but they own us

 

[Dew k. Mosi]

You weren't giving it enough attention and he smacked you for ignoring him

It was 5:30 in the morning. I was sleeping all snuggly under my Spider-Man bedspread with my fluffy Spidey pillow

 

[Morg]

It was 5:30 in the morning. I was sleeping all snuggly under my Spider-Man bedspread with my fluffy Spidey pillow

Perhaps you kicked him awake and he decided to give payment back

 

[sassycat]

My fattyass cat Tabby tried in the past to smother me while I slept. She would be all "purr-purr like", nuzzling my head and then BAM! Plop her flabby tummy on my face!

I'm allergic to cats




I have asmtha too. I think she knows...


Now I keep my door shut when I sleep. Sometimes I can hear her trying to push it open

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

Dayum Dew. I hope you dunked his black ass in cold water.

Repeatedly.

 

[kane9321]

I Told All Of You.....cats Are Evil....nobody Listens To Kane

 

[Kyalesyin]

My fattyass cat Tabby tried in the past to smother me while I slept. She would be all "purr-purr like", nuzzling my head and then BAM! Plop her flabby tummy on my face!

I'm allergic to cats




I have asmtha too. I think she knows...


Now I keep my door shut when I sleep. Sometimes I can hear her trying to push it open

Cats always know if you're allergic to them:

My wife is horribly allergic to cats. Lucky, who was so scared of people that if someone walked past the house he'd run and hide, jumped onto her lap the first time she came by my place and sat there like a furry sack of water, purring his big ass off. Lucky never even let us pick him up before.

The others all did the same. My non allergic friends got no special attention.