My draft for the 'Superman Returns' sequel...

[enommaz]

INT. LOIS’ KITCHEN – MORNING – SAME TIME (continued)

LOIS
(to Jason)
It’s on the table near the front door (referring to the yogurt),
I’ll have to stop off at the store tonight
and pick you up some more

Jason quickly walks over to a cabinet drawer to get a spoon for his yogurt. Jason slightly opens the drawer.

LOIS
Spoon’s out there too.

JASON
Thanks mom.

LOIS
(looks at Richard)
You have your comb don’t you?

RICHARD
I’ll make sure he combs his hair.

Richard kisses Lois again.

RICHARD (continues)
(to Jason)
Kiss your mom.

Lois bends down and Jason kisses her on the cheek; Lois then kisses Jason on his cheek.

LOIS
(to Jason)
Be good at school.

RICHARD
(to Lois)
I’ll see you tonight –
(to Jason)
ready Jason?

Jason nods two times.

Richard picks Jason’s ball cap back up from the counter top, and slaps it back on to Jason’s head.

 

[enommaz]

INT. LOIS’ KITCHEN – MORNING – SAME TIME (continued)

RICHARD
(to Jason – referring to the ball cap)
I’ll let you keep it on in the car…

EXT. LOIS LANE’S HOUSE – MORNING – MOMENTS LATER

We see a beautiful SEMI-WIDESHOT of Lois Lane’s Lake house. Richard and Jason are walking out to the car.

Richard is talking to Jason as they make their way to the car; the audience now hears Richard and Jason speaking, as if they were talking through a mechanized-filter; the sound is coming from Superman’s super-hearing. Superman is off-screen.

RICHARD
(to Jason)
You’ve got all your school stuff?

JASON
Yeah.

The camera moves away from Lois Lane’s house in QUICK-GRADUAL-SUCCESSIONS. We see all kind of images flash by; this is Superman’s telescopic vision at work. This is Superman’s other daily ritual since he found out that Jason was his son; this is how he sees Jason off to school. We finally arrive at:

EXT. METROPOLIS – DAILY PLANET – MORNING – SAME TIME

We then see SUPERMAN hovering high above the now repaired Daily Planet Globe; his cape slightly fluttering in the wind.

RICHARD V.O.
Got your homework?

CLOSE UP on Superman’s face.

JASON V.O
(beat)
Yeah.

SUPERMAN
(smiling – to himself in a low tone)
Morning Jason.

The shot holds for a few seconds; and then we DISSOLVE TO:

 

[enommaz]

If you've read this far, then I really appreciate you putting in your time and effort.

This is as far as I've gotten (I may or may not finish it) with the draft. I get burned out pretty quickly on writing stuff for myself. Now if Warner Brothers ever asked for my input (this sucker would've been finished)...


Thanks again for reading.

 

[Excel]

where is the action???

 

[enommaz]

where is the action???

If I continue writing it, there will be physical action (which is what I assume you're talking about) between Superman and his villains. The big action is something that I want to build up to. I'd like the story and the action to be balanced.

 

[GhostPoet]

You've got talent. I enjoy writing screenplay's myself...but I really feel Jason needs to be taken out of the picture as much as possible.

As for super-villains...we'd need to see a major villain like Brainiac...or someone who poses a physical threat to Superman rather then more Lex using his genius to stop the man of steel...just my opinion.

 

[enommaz]

You've got talent. I enjoy writing screenplay's myself...but I really feel Jason needs to be taken out of the picture as much as possible.

As for super-villains...we'd need to see a major villain like Brainiac...or someone who poses a physical threat to Superman rather then more Lex using his genius to stop the man of steel...just my opinion.

I appreciate that Ghost Poet (regarding the talent thing).

Yeah my idea would be to include a villain(s) who would pose a greater physical challenge to Superman.

 

[enommaz]

EXT. OUTER SPACE – THOUSANDS OF MILES FROM EARTH – MORNING – SAME TIME

We see a SHOT of a MAMMOTH SIZED ROCK FLOATING through space.

EXT. NEW KRYPTON – SAME TIME

The mammoth mass of rock is NEW KRYPTON; as it was later termed in a Daily Planet article. The massive structure, infused with Kryptonite that nearly killed Superman, as he lifted it from the depths of the ocean, and hurled it into outer space.

We see more of New Krypton SLOWLY FLOAT through the darkness and depths of space; it’s a cold, desolate, and lifeless behemoth. CHUNKS BRITTLE off the structure periodically.

We see several DISSOLVES. Each dissolve shows a different angle of New Krypton, until we are brought to the interior of the rock.

INT. NEW KRYPTON – MOMENTS LATER

We see SEVERAL ANGLES of the CRACKED AND TATTERED SURFACE of New Krypton. All is incredibly quiet on the structures surface.

We now see the KRYPTONIAN CRYSTALS lying SCATTERED on the surface of New Krypton; the same crystals that Kitty Kowalski intentionally dropped from the helicopter, as she and Lex Luthor fled for their lives a couple years ago; the crystals that Luthor stole from the Fortress of Solitude.

CAMERA HOLDS on the scattered crystals. Next we FAINTLY HEAR the sound of what appears to be FOOT STEPS in the distance. The foot steps continue to get LOUDER and LOUDER until we see what appears to be the tip of a metallic boot near one of the crystals.

We now hear HEAVY FOOT STEPS. We only see a dark metallic looking HAND HOLDING 3 of the crystals tightly.

We now see a DARK SILHOUETTE of what appears to be a HUGE HUMANOID looking creature ascending a MASSIVE STAIRCASE; in a location of New Krypton we’ve never seen before. The Humanoid’s steps are LOUD.

INT. NEW KRYPTON – CONTROL PANEL – MOMENTS LATER

The Humanoid shaped creature reaches the top of the staircase. The stair case leads to a massive platform similar to the one in the Fortress of Solitude; but slightly different. The Humanoid stands there for a moment.

 

[enommaz]

INT. NEW KRYPTON – CONTROL PANEL – MOMENTS LATER (continued)

The Humanoid has reached the CONTROL PANEL.

HUMANOID POV: we now see through the eyes of the Humanoid; it has these weird hieroglyphic type symbols, phasing on and off its eye-screen, as it SEARCHES its surroundings; the humanoid sees its surroundings in a gold-tinted color. Its computerized vision is similar to the way a Terminator from the movie “The Terminator” sees things; only much more advanced.

We now see the humanoid TURN ITS HEAD RIGHT in a robotically-smooth fashion.

The humanoid holds the crystals out in front of its body; gently SWEEPING THE CRYSTALS OVER the place where the console should activate;

(When the humanoid communicates, the audience sees what he is saying in subtitles; it sounds mechanical, alien).

HUMANOID
(computerized tone)
(unknown language)
There is no detectable power source.

Beat.

Another voice communicates to the humanoid. We do not see where this other voice comes from.

V.O.
(computerized tone)
(unknown language)
It’s there.

Beat.

V.O. (continues)
(computerized tone)
(unknown language)
Give it time.

Beat. We see a WIDE SHOT of the humanoid holding the crystals out in front of him.

HUMANOID
(computerized tone)
(unknown language)
I feel…

 

[enommaz]

INT. NEW KRYPTON – CONTROL PANEL – MOMENTS LATER (continued)

Beat.

HUMANOID (continues)
(computerized tone)
(unknown language)
…a slight tremor on the surface.

V.O.
(computerized tone)
(unknown language)
It’s activating.

The Humanoid STEPS BACK.

A SMALL, JAGGED-SHAPED, CONSOLE OF deformed CRYSTALS slowly BREAKTHROUGH from beneath the surface of the Platform area. A bluish colored-light emanates from the console, breaking the darkness, illuminating the Humanoid briefly.

After a few moments, the console now sits atop the platform.

Long pause.

The Humanoid walks slowly up to the console; it’s METALLIC FACE, slightly illuminated.

HUMANOID POV: GOLD-TINTED VISION: The humanoid examines the console for a few moments.

Beat.

HUMANOID
(computerized tone)
(unknown language)
Odd…

V.O.
(to Humanoid)
(unknown language)
Explain.

HUMANOID (looking around)
(computerized tone)
(unknown language)
…This whole place is out of sync, its core structure immensely flawed.

 

[enommaz]

INT. NEW KRYPTON – CONTROL PANEL – MOMENTS LATER (continued)

V.O.
(to Humanoid)
Indeed.

HUMANOID POV: GOLD-TINTED VISION: the humanoid looks at the crystals and SCANS them.

HUMANOID
(referring to the Crystals)
(unknown language)
And these are perfect.

V.O.
(to Humanoid)
The crystals?

HUMANOID
(unknown language)
The crystals are flawless, and exact.

Beat.

V.O.
(to Humanoid)
(unknown language)
Load one into the console.

HUMANOID
(unknown language)
Which one?

V.O.
(unknown language)
Choose.

The Humanoid gently places one of the crystals into the odd shaped console.

The console begins to emanate a bluish colored light. The light eventually fills the entire screen.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LEX LUTHOR’S OFFICE – DAY - LATER

 

[DestinyMakerX]

continue on! it's great!

 

[enommaz]

continue on! it's great!

Thank you DestinyMakerX. Glad you like it so far.

 

[enommaz]

INT. LEX LUTHOR’S OFFICE – DAY – LATER (continued)

We see a modern looking business office; with a great panoramic view of the city. We see an ANGLED-WIDE SHOT of a MAN dressed in a fancy and expensive, cream colored business suit; he stands with his back facing the viewing audience. He’s holding a newspaper with both hands behind his back. He appears to be in deep thought, as he looks out upon the city of Metropolis; he is LEX LUTHOR.

We now see a CLOSE UP/PROFILE SHOT of Lex Luthor’s face.

We HEAR a phone ringing. The phone rings several times before Lex decides to pick it up.

Lex picks up the phone.

LEX
(solemn tone)
Yes.

We HEAR a woman’s voice over the telephone.

WOMAN’S VOICE
(pleasant/business tone via telephone)
Your car has arrived Mr. Luthor.

INT. LEX LUTHOR INCORPORATED – LOBBY – DAY – MOMENTS LATER

The lobby of Lex Luthor Incorporated, is very modern and business looking, lots of windows, an information desk, etc; comfortable chairs for potential clients, for other offices that inhabit the building. There are people walking around, some are having conversations, some on cell phones, some holding briefcases; the norm of the business world.

Lex Luthor has TWO MALE ARMED GUARDS, who look very serious, as they walk by his side. The guards are dressed in dark business suits, as they scan over their surroundings.

Lex Luthor and his guards near the information desk. The WOMAN at the information desk speaks to Lex.

WOMAN # 1
Morning Mr. Luthor.

Lex ignores Woman # 1, acting as if she didn’t exist; Lex and his guards are about to exit the building. The DOORMAN opens the door; he nods at Lex.

 

[enommaz]

INT. LEX LUTHOR INCORPORATED – LOBBY – DAY – MOMENTS LATER (continued)

Lex subtly nods at the doorman as he and his guards exit the building.

EXT. LEX LUTHOR INCORPORATED – DAY – SAME TIME

Waiting out front of Lex Luthor Incorporated is a glossy, immaculately clean, silver Hummer-limousine with darkly tinted windows. A very attractive, semi-athletically built, WOMAN limo driver is standing outside of the limo holding its door open.

The security guards head towards other doors to the limo.

WOMAN LIMO DRIVER
(greets Lex in professional tone)
(slight nod)
Mr. Luthor.

Lex doesn’t acknowledge the limo driver at all; Lex gets into the limo.

The limo driver gives a look like “I can’t believe this guy”; she subtly shakes her head in disbelief; shutting the limo door gently.

INT. DAILY PLANET – BULLPEN – DAY – MOMENTS LATER

The Daily Planet Bullpen has been slightly redesigned since it was nearly torn to pieces after the incident in Superman Returns; just about everything in the bullpen is new; new computers, fax machines, copiers etc. The bullpen still has an art deco look; yet the interior is a bit fancier, and brighter than it was before.

Journalists, reporters, business executives, copy persons, people of every position are in the bullpen. Some are drinking coffee; others are hard at work at their desks typing away;, some are on business calls/ personal calls. Some are talking with co-workers etc. Televisions are on the major news channels like CNN. The atmosphere is hectic and busy as usual.

INT. DAILY PLANET – PERRY WHITE’S OFFICE – DAY – SAME TIME

Perry White’s office has also been redesigned a bit; PERRY WHITE and JIMMY OLSEN are in the midst of a conversation.

PERRY
(slightly gruff)
I don’t feel it Olsen.

 

[enommaz]

INT. DAILY PLANET – PERRY WHITE’S OFFICE – DAY – SAME TIME (continued)

Jimmy looks a bit annoyed.

JIMMY
What’s to feel?

PERRY
How long have you been with this paper?

Jimmy looks as if he’s thinking.

PERRY
(non-demeaning tone)
(referring to a rhetorical question)
It’s rhetorical son.

Slight Beat.

JIMMY
(almost says Chief)
I figured that Chee…

Perry gives Jimmy the “don’t call me chief” look.

JIMMY (continues)
(respectfully)
…sir.

Perry displays a very slight grin.

JIMMY (continues)
I just think it would make a great story.

Perry scratches the side of his ear.

PERRY
(non-exaggerated, unbelieving tone)
A great story?

Jimmy nods his head. Beat.

PERRY
(light sigh)
A story about a talking Gorilla?

 

[enommaz]

INT. DAILY PLANET – PERRY WHITE’S OFFICE – DAY – SAME TIME (continued)

JIMMY
(clarifying)
A super-intelligent talking Gorilla. (subtle nod to Gorilla Grodd)

Perry shakes his head, slightly.

PERRY
You’ll believe anything Olsen.

Jimmy displays a slightly annoyed look.

PERRY (continues)
(poking fun)
What’s the gorilla’s name…Doctor Zaius? (referencing 1968’s Planet of the Apes)

JIMMY
(slight stab at Perry)
Wasn’t Doctor Zaius an orangutan?

Slight Beat.

PERRY
That may be, but the answer is…

Lois Lane barges in Perry’s office.

PERRY
(notices that Lois didn’t knock on his door before entering)
(to Lois casually)
Learn to knock Lois.
(to Jimmy)
No.

Lois holds the door; she TAPS THE DOOR twice in jest.

Frustrated, Jimmy starts walking out of Perry’s office, not before he says:

JIMMY (last subtle plea)
Mr. White there’s a market for this kind of stuff.

PERRY
(a subtle joke on the word ‘market&#8217
Yeah, in the aisle where I pay for my groceries?

 

[enommaz]

INT. DAILY PLANET – PERRY WHITE’S OFFICE – DAY – SAME TIME (continued)

Lois supportively PATS Jimmy on his shoulder, nonverbally letting him know that everything’s okay.

Jimmy leaves Perry’s office.

LOIS
(referring to Jimmy)
What was that all about?

PERRY
Olsen got an anonymous tip about
a talking gorilla

Lois pauses to think, then displays a slight look of disbelief.

LOIS
That’s weird.

PERRY
Yeah, the chimp’s on its way to Central City with
the rest of the circus.

LOIS
That’s right…the circus is in town…
(switches back to the original topic)
…Thought you said it was a gorilla?

Perry gives Lois the “don’t question me look”.

PERRY
(smoothly changes topics)
Olsen’s taking better pictures I’ll admit, but
he’s got a ways to go before…

Beat.

LOIS
(waiting for Perry to finish his sentence)
Before????

PERRY
(pauses to think)
You get the idea.

 

[enommaz]

INT. DAILY PLANET – PERRY WHITE’S OFFICE – DAY – SAME TIME (continued)

Lois displays a “whatever” look to Perry; she heads toward one of the two lounge chairs sitting in his office.

LOIS
(as she sits in the lounge chair)
You know you’re going to have to eventually
give him a chance?

Perry contemplates what Lois says.

PERRY
(solemn)
Yeah…when he’s ready.
(changes topic and tone of voice)
So what’s so urgent?

LOIS
I think you know.

PERRY
(pauses briefly to think)
Oh yeah, the hospital thing?

Perry starts looking at papers on his desk.

LOIS
You said you’d have an answer for me today…

PERRY
(pretends to be reading)
I did say that didn’t I?

Beat.

LOIS
(‘don’t do me like this’ tone)
Chief!

PERRY
(sighs)
Lois, we’ve gone over this time and time again,
and my answer on this...

 

[enommaz]

INT. DAILY PLANET – PERRY WHITE’S OFFICE – DAY – SAME TIME (continued)

LOIS
(interrupts Perry)
Before you even say it…

Perry gives Lois a “no you didn’t interrupt me look”.

Perry not really liking Lois interrupting him sits back further in his chair, slightly swiveling from left to right.

Lois looks at Perry, knowing she may’ve crossed the line with him a little bit.

Perry contemplates for a moment; he then motions his hands; allowing Lois to continue speaking. Beat.

LOIS
(appreciative tone)
Chief I know how you feel about me and Luthor, but a lot has changed since then…

PERRY
(slight sigh)
Changed?

LOIS
Well for starters I’ve been taking self-defense classes…

Perry slightly shakes his head in disbelief.

LOIS (continues)
(sincere)
…I’m serious.

PERRY
(soft slightly aggravated tone)
Lois

LOIS
(slightly excited tone)
Let me finish. I’ve had a restraining order on him…

PERRY
(interrupts Lois)
A restraining order on him, for Jason

 

[enommaz]

INT. DAILY PLANET – PERRY WHITE’S OFFICE – DAY – SAME TIME (continued)

LOIS
(continues what she was saying)
…for
(emphasizes)
over two years now.

PERRY
(emphasizes Luthor)
Luthor…should be rotting away in prison.

LOIS
You think I don’t know that…if I could bury him
under a prison…

PERRY
(interrupts Lois)
He’d still dig his way out.

Lois sighs.

LOIS
…And we still have Superman.

PERRY
(slightly interrupts)
Who was almost killed too.

Beat.

LOIS
(soft tone)
That’s right…
(short pause)
Almost.

PERRY
(sighs)
Lois, my nephew…

LOIS
(tries to interrupt Perry)
Chief.

 

[enommaz]

This is it for today (Pages 35 - 38) are up and ready.

Take care.

 

[DestinyMakerX]

go on

 

[DestinyMakerX]

BUMP!

Is this script still being written?