enterthemadness
The Triumvirate
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2005
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Me too.
This isn't nearly as incoherent and unwieldy as it needs to be for me to conclude it. As long as I need a place to unload lots of arbitrary/esoteric/scatalogical (take your pick) humor, I'll be throwing things onto this bit of silliness, or something similar. Honestly, it's just been a lot of fun to do it again.
Oh dude, half the Fan Fiction section used to be goofy stories starring Hype members. It started with a "comic" that tomwelling4supes did a while back, then Dog Lips did one of his own, then he and a few others sort of took the concept and ran. DL had "Hype Zombie Apocalypse", which was probably the first really major Hype-fic, then I think it was Abaddon who had a long-running parody of "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer". Master Bruce had "Master Bruce Begins", a pretty accurate parody of "Batman Begins", and I think a few others. For my part, I had "Hype World, An Epic", which was written basically like this but even longer and even less coherent (ultimately, it was a testament to how much I liked Drakon when he first became a mod). Speaking of that, I know at least one mod reads this, and I've been wondering if there is any place in existence where the thread containing my first Hype fic still exist. It isn't on this site anymore, and I have been nostalgic since somebody bumped the Hype Encyclopedia thread over in Community. If you know anything, a future installment of this story will feature many high praises directed at you.
And now, back to teh stupid...
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The three moderators sat in the jacuzzi of the Four Seasons Mars.
Malice: So guys, it has been brought to my attention that we have technically completed our mission of traveling to Mars.
Elijya: Yeah, I'm pretty sure I told you that. Five minutes ago.
Malice: Yeah, but Dog Lips hadn't gotten here yet.
Dog Lips: I'm still not really paying attention.
Dog Lips closed his eyes and relaxed as a water jet blasted him in the back.
Dog Lips: Mmmm, that's how Big Doggy L likes it.
Malice: Well, here's the problem. We have no way of returning to the Tukiluka Memorial Space Station, and by extension, returning to Earth. The escape pod we took to this planet isn't functioning anymore, and I think we all know why that is.
Elijya: Dammit, Karem-Knight wanted to drive so badly! How could I say "no" to him?
Dog Lips: By saying "No, random Victorian-era-English street urchin, you cannot guide this expensive vehicle to the surface of an alien planet"?
Elijya: Quiet, you.
Dog Lips: Hey, I'm a moderator! I don't have to take that from you!
Elijya: I'm older.
Dog Lips: ......
Malice: Look, this is a very serious problem.
Dog Lips: Agreed. If we are to return to our home planet, we'll have to construct a very large catapult, and fling the members of our crew home, one by one. Now, this is a very dangerous means of transportation, but it is our only way home. I suggest we test the first few models on Dread.
Malice: Actually, I had a more sane idea. We ask the aliens who are also staying here for a lift.
Dog Lips: The ones who tried to kill us before?
Elijya: We're cool with them now, remember? Enterthemadness and their leader sang "Man in the Mirror" together at the karaoke bar last night?
Dog Lips: No, enterthemadness is cool with them again. That Master Bruce character is still mad that he heard us singing "Rocket Man" a while ago.
Elijya: Oh, we got that worked out. We sang "Come Sail Away" with him later on. Dude's a Styx fan.
Malice: As it turns out, they did a concert on his home planet a few years ago, and totally saved their economy.
Dog Lips: Well, so much for our other plan.
Malice: What other plan?
Dog Lips: *sigh* Nothing. I'll be back.
Dog Lips climbed out of the jacuzzi, grabbed his towel, and left the room.
Elijya: Was he just wearing a g-string?
Malice: You mean you're not?
Dog Lips: Hey guys, sorry, the problem's taken care of.
bored: So we don't get to play for everyone?
Abaddon: We practiced so hard.
Dog Lips: I know, but they've already patched things up with Master Bruce via musical expression, so we're going to have to wait for another time.
bored: Curses. One day, our death-bubblegum-gangster-polka-jazz fusion combo will have its chance. Now what should we do with all of these instruments we stole?
Master Bruce entered the jacuzzi. He was also wearing a g-string. All important people do that. It's how they identify each other.
Master Bruce: You would ask a favor of me, Earthlings?
Malice: Yes. Nothing huge. We just need a lift home, or at least back to our space station, which can take us the rest of the way.
Master Bruce: Your space station can move?
Malice: Yep.
Master Bruce: Isn't that just a, you know, space ship?
Malice: Don't get technical on us. But anyway, we can't afford too many more nights in this snazzy hotel. We've all got outstanding tabs at the bar, and Karem-Knight keeps ordering pay-per-view.
Master Bruce: Hmmm, yes, I suppose I could help you, but there will be a cost.
Dog Lips: Not it.
Malice: Not it.
Elijya: Dammit!
Elijya pouted, then moved closer to Master Bruce and began to lower his head into the water.
Master Bruce: Um, no, not what I had in mind.
Elijya: Oh, thank Xenu!
Master Bruce: If I am to give you Earthlings a "lift", I shall require you to help me deal with a situation I found out this morning has arisen on my throne-world.
Malice: The wife's getting lonely, eh? Elijya's having that same problem.
Elijya: She makes my dinner!
Master Bruce: No, well, that's probably also happening. Rather, I am told that a rather successful coup is taking place while I am gone. If you can help me put this rebellion down, I shall give you a ride home. No need for that space station of yours. It probably smells bad, with nobody being on it for so long.
Meanwhile, on the Tukiluka Memorial Space Station...
Squeekness: I lay claim to this level of Space-Earth! None shall enter without my permission!
Brett Spiner: Not for long, knave, for the top floor of Space-Earth is now under my control! Have at thee!
The two began sword-fighting with towel racks.