*Official* Relationship Advice Thread Strikes Back

[Erzengel]

Anyway, back to my situation, i'm doubley confused now, I text her yesterday asking how she was, she text back asking how I was, I text her again asking what she was upto at the weekend, and no reply since, this was yesterday, i'm getting to the point now were I dont know if its worth it as clearly something is going on.

Its likely i'll see her out and about some time this weekend, I may just go back to being a friend type with her.

You put the ball in her court and she didn't send it back. Just move on and don't waste your time analyzing it.

 

[Erzengel]

Well i'd rather she just told me if that was the case and i'd back off, i'm a grown man I can take it if she is, I told this to her best friend last week and she said she'd pass the message on so god knows whats happening.

Sounds simple, right? Some people don't communicate as well as others. I have a big mouth and normally people know I have a problem even before I do. My missus on the other hand... I need KY Jelly and a crowbar to get it out of her.

I think most people just want to be nice or avoid an uncomfortable situation.

Instead of telling you, she isn't interested or seeing someone else, avoidance is sometimes an easier method.

You just have to learn to read between the lines.

 

[NotAHenchwench]

Sounds simple, right? Some people don't communicate as well as others. I have a big mouth and normally people know I have a problem even before I do. My missus on the other hand... I need KY Jelly and a crowbar to get it out of her.

Hahaha holy ****, Eggy. That describes me to a T.

But Aveit, I'd just walk away. Spend some time building your confidence. Most of us have low self esteem, but the only way to fix that is to build your confidence, and you'll find yourself more attractive to others if you're sure about what it is you want, and what it is you expect from a relationship [any kind, romantic or otherwise.].

 

[Frodo]

I think most people just want to be nice or avoid an uncomfortable situation.

Instead of telling you, she isn't interested or seeing someone else, avoidance is sometimes an easier method.

You just have to learn to read between the lines.

Good Point. Alot of times women don't want to hurt the guys feelings or are afraid they'll lose a potential friend if they just come out and say they've met someone.

However, it is better just to tell the person the truth and make sure everyone is on the same page.

 

[Erzengel]

I think the latter is the only option for a person who just doesn't get it.

 

[AVEITWITHJAMON]

Sounds simple, right? Some people don't communicate as well as others. I have a big mouth and normally people know I have a problem even before I do. My missus on the other hand... I need KY Jelly and a crowbar to get it out of her.

Yeah, women tend to be a little more reserved when comes to saying things that need to be said, this is true.

You put the ball in her court and she didn't send it back. Just move on and don't waste your time analyzing it.

Yeah, at the moment i'm not, i'm gonna go out tonight and just enjoy myself.

I think most people just want to be nice or avoid an uncomfortable situation.

Instead of telling you, she isn't interested or seeing someone else, avoidance is sometimes an easier method.

You just have to learn to read between the lines.

Yeah, I think I have read between the lines now, i'm just gonna move on I think, see what happens when I speak to her, if i'm not feeling it i'll just be a friend.

Hahaha holy ****, Eggy. That describes me to a T.

But Aveit, I'd just walk away. Spend some time building your confidence. Most of us have low self esteem, but the only way to fix that is to build your confidence, and you'll find yourself more attractive to others if you're sure about what it is you want, and what it is you expect from a relationship [any kind, romantic or otherwise.].

When I said I had low self esteem that wasnt entirely true, I have confidence in a lot of things about myself, for example I am confident the first time I meet someone I can make them laugh within the first 5 mins, i'm more than confident i'm a nice person, its just little things i'm not so good at. Expressing my feelings tends to be one of them.

Good Point. Alot of times women don't want to hurt the guys feelings or are afraid they'll lose a potential friend if they just come out and say they've met someone.

However, it is better just to tell the person the truth and make sure everyone is on the same page.

Well, the thing is, I thought she'd know me well enough by now to know that i'll respect her decision if she decides to go with someone else and wont be an ass about it. I'm not a jealous person, never have been, never will be, hell if I saw her out with another man i'd make the effort to shake his hand and speak to the guy in a nice way, I just with she'd tell me so I at least know were I stand.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Anyway, back to my situation, i'm doubley confused now, I text her yesterday asking how she was, she text back asking how I was, I text her again asking what she was upto at the weekend, and no reply since, this was yesterday, i'm getting to the point now were I dont know if its worth it as clearly something is going on.

Its likely i'll see her out and about some time this weekend, I may just go back to being a friend type with her.

Well i'd rather she just told me if that was the case and i'd back off, i'm a grown man I can take it if she is, I told this to her best friend last week and she said she'd pass the message on so god knows whats happening.

Sorry, this is gonna sound harsh, but in terms of trying for a relationship you are definitely not a grown man. A grown man calls the woman and asks her out on a date, from the sound of it, you never had an actual date with the girl, you just hung out with her. A grown man doesn't ask a woman out via text. A grown man also doesn't ask her friend to pass messages along. That's high school crap, next woman you're interested in, get her number, call (don't text!) and ask her out, don't ask her if she wants to hang out, friends hang out, people interesting in a romantic relationship go out. It's a small difference in vocabulary, but makes a world of difference.

 

[Anubis]

You wanna be a man's man, you ask her out to her face. You wanna be a man's man's man, you tell her when you're gonna pick her up rather than ask her for a date. You wanna be a man's, man's, man's, man, then you gotta go to prison.

 

[BlackLantern]

You wanna be a man's man, you ask her out to her face. You wanna be a man's man's man, you tell her when you're gonna pick her up rather than ask her for a date. You wanna be a man's, man's, man's, man, then you gotta go to prison.

oh sweet lord, this is damn near sig worthy

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I recently tried asking a girl out via Facebook. It really was my only option in her case (considering that's about the only place I interact with said person), but I have a sneaking suspicion it's not a good practice.

 

[AVEITWITHJAMON]

Sorry, this is gonna sound harsh, but in terms of trying for a relationship you are definitely not a grown man. A grown man calls the woman and asks her out on a date, from the sound of it, you never had an actual date with the girl, you just hung out with her. A grown man doesn't ask a woman out via text. A grown man also doesn't ask her friend to pass messages along. That's high school crap, next woman you're interested in, get her number, call (don't text!) and ask her out, don't ask her if she wants to hang out, friends hang out, people interesting in a romantic relationship go out. It's a small difference in vocabulary, but makes a world of difference.

Erm, fair enough, but at first I did actually ask her out to her face, AFTER that is when the texting began and at this point it was all from her, I have since asked her out to her face as well, twice, but because of circumstances (a family member being ill mainly) I had to cancel, not once did I ask her out via text, the texts were just to see what she was upto and keep in contact to let her know I was still interested mainly. I know what you are saying, but this hasnt been the case at all. So I think you are maybe being a little overly harsh, but dont worry, I didnt take offense, you just didnt know all the facts is all.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I recently tried asking a girl out via Facebook. It really was my only option in her case (considering that's about the only place I interact with said person), but I have a sneaking suspicion it's not a good practice.

In the words of Yoda "That is why you fail"

 

[Erzengel]

You could have asked for her number over facebook and called her.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Erm, fair enough, but at first I did actually ask her out to her face, AFTER that is when the texting began and at this point it was all from her, I have since asked her out to her face as well, twice, but because of circumstances (a family member being ill mainly) I had to cancel, not once did I ask her out via text, the texts were just to see what she was upto and keep in contact to let her know I was still interested mainly. I know what you are saying, but this hasnt been the case at all. So I think you are maybe being a little overly harsh, but dont worry, I didnt take offense, you just didnt know all the facts is all.

Well cancelling a date twice even for a good reason is going to really hurt your chances. That was of course out of your control, but that may be the reason why things aren't working out. Cancelling once is okay, cancelling date number two or three twice though, at least for me, you're done.

 

[Frodo]

Well, the thing is, I thought she'd know me well enough by now to know that i'll respect her decision if she decides to go with someone else and wont be an ass about it. I'm not a jealous person, never have been, never will be, hell if I saw her out with another man i'd make the effort to shake his hand and speak to the guy in a nice way, I just with she'd tell me so I at least know were I stand.

Well, you know, most guys will just walk away and end all contact if they don't think they have a shot, and she may think you'll do the same even if you two know each other well. I guess you'll just have to confront her with it, and once you do , i'm sure she'll give you an answer. If not, then, I would take it as a hint that she's moved on and that you should move on too.

 

[AndThePickles]

Well thats weird because I have TONS of friends and everyone i know thinks i'm hilarious! I guess I do it in the right way.

Thats like me Nell, I like to make fun of myself as well as others, i'm the type of person to make fun out of someone and then turn around say "Dunno what i'm on about look at the state of me......." I'm a good time man, I love having a joke and a good time its just my personality, making people laugh is what i'm good at, if thats wrong then i'm screwed!

My apologies, I misinterpreted. There is definitely a line between being able to make fun of yourself and constantly being down on yourself. As long as it doesn't turn into self-hatred, you will be fine!

I have seen a lot of people over the years with low self esteem who ripped themselves apart to the point where it was painful to watch, because everyone knew they weren't truly joking. They were also the most negative people ever, so no one wanted to be around them. Looking back, I wish that someone (or even myself) would have just been up front with them and told them that all they were doing is driving people away, thus making themselves even more depressed

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

As true as the asking out over Facebook is, oddly enough the last date I went on I asked the girl out through Facebook.

 

[AVEITWITHJAMON]

Well cancelling a date twice even for a good reason is going to really hurt your chances. That was of course out of your control, but that may be the reason why things aren't working out. Cancelling once is okay, cancelling date number two or three twice though, at least for me, you're done.

Thats a shame, I didnt cancel because I didnt want to go out with her, but I guess I can see were the hurt comes from.

Well, you know, most guys will just walk away and end all contact if they don't think they have a shot, and she may think you'll do the same even if you two know each other well. I guess you'll just have to confront her with it, and once you do , i'm sure she'll give you an answer. If not, then, I would take it as a hint that she's moved on and that you should move on too.

I was going to confront her last night but again couldnt get her alone, I think the writing is on the wall though, i'll just have to get over it.

 

[Erzengel]

Bang her sister or best friend.

 

[AVEITWITHJAMON]

Well cancelling a date twice even for a good reason is going to really hurt your chances. That was of course out of your control, but that may be the reason why things aren't working out. Cancelling once is okay, cancelling date number two or three twice though, at least for me, you're done.

Bang her sister or best friend.

Ha ha, I am just going to have to confront her tonight I think, again she was giving me signals last night that she is still interested, so I really just dont know, I am fed up now so will have to ask her tonight.

 

[terry78]

Let the board know the update. Because it will drive people insane if they don't hear about it.

 

[Erzengel]

Ha ha, I am just going to have to confront her tonight I think, again she was giving me signals last night that she is still interested, so I really just dont know, I am fed up now so will have to ask her tonight.

Why give her the time of day?

Ignore her and talk to another girl all night.

 

[Frodo]

I think it's safe to say if she's giving you the run around, it's best to meet someone else. If she gets jealous , oh well.

 

[Ghostvirus]

I have a quick question/confirmation. If you are out with a woman & she starts bra shopping with you there. Is that a clue to something?

 

[BlackLantern]

it just means she needs bras.....bras to women are like socks or tools to us