Omegle?

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You: Wanna see my butthole?
Stranger: r u megan
You: Yep
Stranger: how old r u
You: Depends on how old Megan is...
Stranger: how old r u
You: HOW OLD IS MEGAN?!
Stranger: 10
You: Then I'm 10
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Pwned the ****er.
 
You: Hi my name is Matt Foley and I am a motivational speaker
Stranger: you're a ****
You: First off let me give a little scenerio of what my life is all about
Stranger: **** you anon
You: Im 35 years old, I am divorced and I live in a van down by the river
You: Now young lady what do you wanna do with your life?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
Stranger: [Omegle is required by law to tell you that you are chatting with a registered sex offender. This message cannot be viewed by Stranger.]
Stranger: hi
You: hey
You: im looking for someone
Stranger: well i am someone, i just dont know if your looking for me
Stranger: im a pedophile
 
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: heey
You: ZOMBIES
Stranger: really?
You: yes, everywhere, I just found this computer during the melee
Stranger: i like zombies
Stranger: hahaha
You: get help
Stranger: where?
You: i'm at 14543 s st, racoon city
Stranger: i can helo you
You: do you have weapons?
Stranger: oh noo sorry
You: ahhh. zombie got my pinky
You: close one, well any weapon will do
Stranger: oh its terrible =X
You: yeah, that was my favorite pinky
Stranger: where i can find you?
You: 14543 s st racoon city, I'm in the abandoned police precinct
You: oh damn!!
You: JILLLLLLLLLL!
Stranger: ohhh
You: My gold fish, they got her...
Stranger: relaaax
Stranger: oh my goood
Stranger: i'm going thereee
You: :( Damn, that was a graduation present
You: YES< HURRY
You: Bring weapons
You: even a toaster
Stranger: oh yaa
Stranger: ya
Stranger: are u hungry too?
You: yes, i prefer Poptarts
You: OH MY HEAVENS
Stranger: mcdonalds?
You: My toes!!!! Damn zombie licked them clean off, then I cut his head off. DAMN
You: Yes, do they still serve the McBLT?
Stranger: i can ask on drive tru
You: Mc Rib?
You: THank you... thank you..
Stranger: big mac
You: You're helping me through the madness.
Stranger: coca cola?
You: Yes please, no pickles.
You: Sprite.
Stranger: sprite? ok
You: Whoa, whoa, hold on.
Stranger: i want your pickles
Stranger: yes?
You: No, I need the pickles. I throw them at the zombies. One sec.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: your name?
You: Holy crap, there are like 300 zombies marching towards my location.
You: Hurry DAMN you!!
You: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Stranger: i dont have money to buy to much sandwiches ^^
You: bfmklsbdklfjdklfjsdfkljdsklfjdsf
You: Hey, this Fred the zombie, one of the many zombies now devouring this poor guy.
Stranger: my name is Nathalia
You: If you want, you can still bring the Mcdonalds.

That sir is a win.
 
Stranger: "A new security feature from Omegle requires you to press "Alt + F4" to speak with this user"
You: ha, nice one. not falling for it though
You: i'm totally using that on people now. thanks.
Stranger: lol no prob

:up:
 
You: how's it going
Stranger: it's going pretty good
Stranger: should be asleep really, but I always get hooked on Omegle for a while if I decide to stop by
Stranger: sup with you?
You: you a guy or girl
Stranger: does it really matter?
You: ever been f'ed in the a and had c blasted all over your face?
Stranger: nah, not into anal personally
You: ever had a really big piece of **** just hanging.........it feels kinda like that
Stranger: wouldn't it be sorta the opposite feeling?
Stranger: I mean
Stranger: you gotta consider
Stranger: that
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


My first time........I'll try harder next time
 
Stranger: hi
Stranger: age?
You: 13
Stranger: aaaaaaaaaa
Stranger: too old
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
Stranger: hi
You: ever tasted monkey urine?
Your conversational partner has disconnected
 
I had a conversation with a guy from "France" and how he believes that the states want to secede from the federal government so they won't have to worry about debt. I tried explaining to them that no state is thinking about doing that since the Civil War.
 
Stranger: HI
You: ever rape a dog?
Stranger: have u??
You: once
You: that I remember
You: I get drunk a lot
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
Stranger: [Omegle is required by law to tell you that you are chatting with a registered sex offender. This message cannot be viewed by Stranger.]
Stranger: hey
Stranger: how are you doing?
You: I have hemmoroids
Stranger: really?
You: yes
Stranger: does it hurt?
You: they are like speed bumps for my lover
Stranger: wow cool
Stranger: can i touch them?
You: no, you can lick them
Stranger: :D

Stranger: i love you john
You: i love you mary beth
Stranger: god we are so in love
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
Stranger: hi
You: are you over 18
Stranger: yes
You: prove it
You: do you watch MTV
You: do you like Twilight?
Stranger: no no
Stranger: VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE
You: god damn right
You: lets have sex
Stranger: female?
You: sometimes
Stranger: o.O
You: don't worry, you'll like it
You: it's addition by subraction
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
Stranger: I ****ed your mom
You: nice next time you chat ask about the money she owes me
You: shes been holding out
Stranger: I ****ed your moms money
You: are paper cuts an issue there??
Stranger: I ****ed your moms moneys papercuts
You: you **** a lot
You: you should hydrate
Stranger: I ****ed your

Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
Stranger: I ****ed your mom
You: nice next time you chat ask about the money she owes me
You: shes been holding out
Stranger: I ****ed your moms money
You: are paper cuts an issue there??
Stranger: I ****ed your moms moneys papercuts
You: you **** a lot
You: you should hydrate
Stranger: I ****ed your

Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
I was posing as a woman and I just had a very dirty conversation. Can't post it unfortunately.
Bottom line: I was laughing my ass off.
 
Stranger: hello
You: ever been ****ed in both holes at once while covered in ky jelly with a ball gag in your mouth?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
Stranger: i love you
You: awesome. i love you too.
Stranger: good, good
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
You: you and me, anal beads, now
Stranger: HAHAHA
Stranger: I dont have an arse though.
You: oh yeah, well pull them out of mine with your mouth
Stranger: My mouth is sewed shut
Your conversational partner has disconnected
 
Stranger: yo
You: word to your mother.
You: Whats up
Stranger: the sky
Stranger: WHAT NOW
You: Planes I guess.
You: Unless they crash.
You: Then nothing.
You: Expect balls of fire
Stranger: if they crash in a tree they will still be suspended in the air
You: Hey now, thats cheating.
Stranger: cheating is my middle name
You: I like it.
Stranger: they all do.
You: You mean the ladies?
Stranger: i mean every being on this planet
You: You should run for office.
You: "Cheating is my middle name"
ou: Got a ring to it.
Stranger: i like you
Stranger: you come to my house?
Stranger: make me some dinner?
You: Its late, I don't know how it cook
You: I'm useless to you.
Stranger: don't say that, baby
Stranger: you'll always have a place in my heart
Stranger: at the very bottom.
Stranger: WHAT
You: I'm trying to think of something witty. But I've got noting.
Stranger: I tend to do that to people.
You: Shock and awe
Stranger: it's probably my wisdom
Stranger: chicks dig that ****.
You: +10 wisdom
Stranger: heck yeah
Stranger: can i have all your money please?
You: Obama took all my money.
Stranger: and you should be pround
You: Not really, I'm from Canada. He just came up and stole my wallet.
Stranger: i would be honoured.
Stranger: great man
You: He does have a nice voice.
Stranger: i like his ears.
You: Like Spock
You: a black spock
Stranger: who is the president of the unites states

Stranger: i don't have all day now

You: Until he gets his face on money, he aint anything special.

Stranger: that's obnoxious.

Stranger: hitler never had his face on money

Stranger: and look at what he's accomplished.

You: Are you saying Obama needs to kill jews to end up on the dollar?

Stranger: yes.

Stranger: yes i am.

You: Dang, then he'd take out everyone working in Hollywood.

You: Expect Spike Lee.

You: except Spike lee

You: Lucky him Inside man was a good movie.

Stranger: yes.

Stranger: for that he will be spared

You: Indeed.

You: We agree.

Stranger: we do.

Stranger: i love you

You: Thanks man.

Stranger: is that all you gonna say?

You: Shooo, lets cherish this moment.

Stranger: it's not a moment yet.

Stranger: first you need to tell me you love me.

You: I can't do that.

You: I'm a robot. Incapable of love.

Stranger: it's that stupid deborah, isn't it?

Stranger: that filthy ****e that you work with?

Stranger: i knew it.

Stranger: my sister told me and i didn't believe her.

You: Is she the red head

Stranger: nio

You: Then nope.

You: Is her hair blue or purple.

Stranger: blue, of course.

Stranger: purple is just ridiculus for a hair color
You: Well, then I guess its over between us.
You: I'm sorry.
 
Last edited:
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: matthew?
You: frodrick?
Stranger: close enough
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
Stranger: hey
You: hi
Stranger: wats ya name
You: Wiseman, what's yours
Your conversational partner has disconnected

I guess they didn't like my name
 
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: [Omegle is required by law to tell you that you are chatting with a registered sex offender. This message cannot be viewed by Stranger.]
Stranger: hey
You: and the front tire is going flat
Stranger: ahh /b/rother not another
You: your a registered sex offender?
Stranger: what?
Stranger: no
You: [Omegle is required by law to tell you that you are chatting with a registered sex offender. This message cannot be viewed by Stranger.]
Stranger: :O
You: YOU ****IN PERVERT
Stranger: is that some kind of joke
Stranger: im a woman
Stranger: fs
Stranger: what is this
Stranger: ur at it
You: oh so women cant be sex offenders
Stranger: not at the age of 17
Stranger: can they?
You: if you molest someone i guess...
Stranger: if i was a sex offender then why didnt the police arrest me or inform me?
Stranger: wtf is that
You: how do i know they didnt
Stranger: this is u
Stranger: u dont this
You: you dont this what
Stranger: ive never had sex
Stranger: neverminde
Stranger: unwillingly
Stranger: this is some kinda sick joke
You: no
You: your the sick one around her buster
Stranger: like kick the virgin when shes down right?
You: its not my fault omegle thinks your a sex offender
Stranger: i never saw that message i think u made it up
You: i didnt make it up
You: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: [Omegle is required by law to tell you that you are chatting with a registered sex offender. This message cannot be viewed by Stranger.]
Stranger: u did
Stranger: why would u be so horrible
Stranger: :(
You: your the sex offender your the horrible one around here
Stranger: im not a sex offender:O
Stranger: omg
Stranger: thats a horrible thing to say
Stranger: as if my life wasnt bad enough
Stranger: i may aswell end it all now
You: just like you didnt touch george lucas's butt hole last night as he gave a monkey a reach around as it ate a banana
Stranger: wut?
Stranger: i dont even know what that means
Stranger: ur scaring me now
Stranger: im gonna report u
You: report me? your the sex offender
Stranger: whos george lucas?
Stranger: if im a sex offender report me
You: he is who he is
You: apparently someone already reported you
Stranger: well someones at it
Stranger: if im such a sex offender why r u stll here?
You: because im in no danger of being offended
Stranger: ?
You: ?
Stranger: then u dont think im a sex offender
You: omegle wouldnt lie to me
Stranger: i wouldnt lie to u
You: thats what you want me to think
Stranger: :O
You: so you can get close to me and sexually assault me like you did someone else
Stranger: :O this is horrible
Stranger: i have phoned the police
Stranger: please stay here
Stranger: till they get here
Stranger: i will have my name cleared
You: they already know where you live apparently since it says your a sex offender
You: DAMNIT I WANT THE TRUTH
Stranger: DAMNIT I WANT SEX
Stranger: NEVERMIND ON THE LIST
Stranger: I WANT SOME
You: i cant help you out then
Stranger: i never asked you to help
Stranger: sex offenders dont ask
You: good
You: so you admit to it now that you are a sex offender
Stranger: na not rly
Stranger: just a horny virgin
You: i dont care about your horns just keep them away from me
Stranger: with not a man in site at 4 in the morning
You: what are you smoking its only 10:30 pm
Stranger: are u gonna disconnect or what?
Stranger: im in britain
You: THATS EVEN WORSE
Stranger: hows it even worse?
You: because you have bad teeth
Stranger: i do not
Stranger: im scottish
Stranger: ameri***
You: im mexican
Stranger: and?
You: and?
Stranger: ****ing /b/tard
You: ahhhhh i see
Stranger: scottish women dont have horrid teeth
Stranger: thats the english
You: you lie
Stranger: i do not
Stranger: you lie
You: just shut your mouth
You: your coming off as stupid right now
Stranger: just shut your mouth
Stranger: your coming off as stupid right now
Stranger: your coming of as a ****ing border bandit right now
You: why because im black?
Stranger: if were stereotyping here
Stranger: ******
Stranger: WHERE THE ****S THE KKK WHEN U NEED THEM
You: how am i the n-word if im white?
Stranger: so ur black and white
Stranger: mj in the house
You: i never said i was black
Stranger: u did
Stranger: read up
You: i didnt say anything about black
Stranger: i cant see what im doing in the dark but even i know its your mothers corpse
You: except my mothers still alive so
You: you fail
Stranger: thats what you think
Stranger: insanity wolf has already killed ur mum
Stranger: and ur lack of typin means u just checked
You: my lack of typing means i went to get a sip of water
Stranger: u go get sips of water
Stranger: queer
Stranger: drink it like a man
You: i did
You: so hows your beard coming in
Stranger: ahh im female idiot
You: i know
Stranger: then u should know my beards coming in swell
You: its probably not as good as your ass hairs
Stranger: nice an waxed thanks
Stranger: thanks for taking the time to comment
You: your welcome
You: thanks for taking the time to be stupid and lugubrious
Stranger: your welcome
You: your welcome
You: hows your mail box doing
Stranger: fine urs?
You: good
You: is your refrigerator running?
Stranger: no
You: oh
You: you better get that fixed
Stranger: its being sorted
You: your face is being sorted
Stranger: with some *** preferably
You: ahhh gay
Stranger: straight
Stranger: but at least ur admitting now thats the first step
You: you come off as a very banal young man
Stranger: im sure someone will happily take u out
Stranger: well i can assure u im a female
You: yeah you have a penis dont you maybe you can
Stranger: nope only vagoo on this end
You: AGAINST THE WIND
Stranger: shall i describe labour for you?
You: AGAINST THE WIND
You: STILL RUNNIN
You: AGAINST THE WIND
You: AGAINST THE WIND
You: IM STILL RUNNIN AGAINST THE WIND
Stranger: i will not success
You: STILLLLL RUNNIN
You: STILL RUNNIN
Stranger: son
You: SEE THE YOUNG MAN RUN AGAINST THE WIND
Stranger: i am dissapiont
You: WATCH THAT YOUNG MAN RUNNIN
You: AGAINST THE WIND
You: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
You: LET THE COWBOYS RIDE AGAINST THE WIND
Stranger: i am enjoying ur seranade
You: THEYLL BE RUNNIN AGAINST THE WIND
You: RIDIN AGAINST THE WIND
You: AGAINST THE WIND
You: RIDE RIDE RIDE RIDE
You: AGAINST THE WIND
Stranger: now im hitting the hay but ill leave this on untill u young troll decide that u will not success
You: ill leave this open all day then
Stranger: same
You: same
Stranger: i dont mind
You: me either
Stranger: :D
Stranger: agreed
You: agreed twice
Stranger: were in it for the long haul
You: i know it
You: and i dont know why
Stranger: i know it
Stranger: and i do know why
You: then please enlighten me
Stranger: [Omegle is required by law to tell you that you are chatting with a registered sex offender. This message cannot be viewed by Stranger.]
Stranger: thats why
You: because your a sex offender
Stranger: because im a f***ing /b/rother well sister rly
Stranger: stubborn as f***
Stranger: wont give up
Stranger: and what not
You: indeed
You: are you seeking shelter against the wind?
Stranger: not at all
Stranger: im seeking me kip and me bf tis all
You: who the hell is kip
Stranger: bed
You: good
You: ill talk to you in the morning
Stranger: this /b/rothers on here when she should be in bed
Stranger: kk ill talk to u in a few hours
Stranger: ud best still be here
Stranger: or i will have successed
You: ill be here
You: or at work
You: or in britian
Stranger: in britian
Stranger: where apparently
Stranger: scottish wome have manky teeth
You: and the jews are still cheap
Stranger: that they r
Stranger: and we have more hamilton than u can shake a stick at
You: *shakes a stick*
You: take that
Stranger: in britian u woulda been hoarded with hamiltons for that
You: good i love to be hoarded
Stranger: sounds kinky :S
You: no not really
Stranger: get a frip gayboy
Stranger: *grip
Stranger: letting men hoard u
You: ill frip as much a i want
Stranger: u have just inspired me to post before i sleep
You: good
You: i was hoping i would
 
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