Omegle?

[Gilpesh]

Stranger: hello
You: ever been ****ed in both holes at once while covered in ky jelly with a ball gag in your mouth?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Classic.

 

[-Arya-]

What if that had been a 14 year old girl?

 

[Wiseman]

What if that had been a 14 year old girl?

shut-up

 

[deathshead2]

Stranger: [Omegle is required by law to tell you that you are chatting with a registered sex offender. This message cannot be viewed by Stranger.]
Stranger: hi!
You: So your one of those people.
Stranger: what?
You: who post the your a sex offender thing.
Stranger: why do you say that?
You: Cus I'm watching the real world.

 

[Gilpesh]

Oh man, Wiseman. That made me laugh way too loud.

 

[-Arya-]

Im just saying. Judging by the reaction, it wouldn't be farfetched to think so.

 

[Wiseman]

Oh man, Wiseman. That made me laugh way too loud.

I knew you'd like that one

 

[Wiseman]

Im just saying. Judging by the reaction, it wouldn't be farfetched to think so.

I don't trust anyone on there, that site is so wrong.....and if any kids are on there well they shouldn't be

 

[Gilpesh]

I knew you'd like that one

I think it was that they waited until the "lick it off" part to leave, that made it so hilarious.

 

[deathshead2]

Stranger: I am rquired to tell you I am a sex offender
Stranger: is that ok wit you
You: your doing that trick wrong
Stranger: no im adding my personnel touch
You: Alright.
You: then shoot.
Stranger: you?
You: People, hell no I don't shoot people.
Stranger: my boob is big
Stranger: (I only have one(
You: Like the lady from Kung Pow
Stranger: exactly, that was me
You: Then your old.

 

[POWdER-man]

Stranger: hey
You: I know Kung Fu
Stranger: ?
You: Whoa
Stranger: what
You: Guns lots of guns
Stranger: ok?
Stranger: i see u r violentt
You: This...this isn't the Matrix?
Stranger: no.. whats that
You: Whoa, deja vu.
Stranger: what
You: What is the Matrix?
Stranger: yes what is it
You: The Matrix has you.
Stranger: really
You: Follow the white rabbit
Stranger: following
Stranger: now what
You: I thought it wasn't real
You: Holy ****!
Stranger: well where am i going?
Stranger: i am following
You: Free your mind
Stranger: freeing
Stranger: freed
Stranger: now what
You: The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy.
Stranger: how do i stop it
You: I know why you're here, Neo. I know what you've been doing... why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night, you sit by your computer
Stranger: tell me the answers please
You: You're looking for him
Stranger: i will be so greatful
You: I was looking for an answer. It's the question that drives us, Neo. It's the question that brought you here. You know the question, just as I did.

Stranger: what is it?'
You: This is your last chance
Stranger: ok what do i do
You: After this, there is no turning back.
Stranger: ok i am ready
You: You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes
Stranger: thank u i am soooooooo greatful goodbye wish meh look
Stranger: luck*
You: Actually, I've been thinking it ever since I got here: Why oh why didn't I take the BLUE pill?

Stranger: oh no! i took the red pill!
You: oh noes you got teh aidz!!!
Stranger: oh no!
You: or it could have been all that buttsecks you had
Stranger: oh no! im melting!
Stranger: HELP!!
Stranger: MEH!!
Stranger: AHHHHH!

You: never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Stranger: heyyy
Stranger: huh?
You: Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry

Stranger: the question you should have asked...
Stranger: ................................................. .....................,-~~'''''''~~--,,_
.................................................. ..................................,-~''-,:::::::::::::::::::''-,
.................................................. .............................,~''::::::::',::::::: :::::::::::::|',
.................................................. .............................|::::::,-~'''___''''~~--~''':}
.................................................. .............................'|:::::|: : : : : : : : : : : : : :
.................................................. .............................|:::::|: : :-~~---: : : -----: |
.................................................. ............................(_''~-': : : ::: : : : : :
.................................................. .............................'''~-,|: : : : : : ~---': : : :,'--NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP
.................................................. .................................|,: : : : : :-~~--: : ::/ --NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN!
.................................................. ............................,-''':: :'~,,_: : : : : _,-'
.................................................. ......................__,-';;;;;:''-,: : : :'~---~''/|
.................................................. .............__,-~'';;;;;;/;;;;;;;: :: : :____/: :',__
.................................................. .,-~~~''''_;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',. .''-,:|:::::::|. . |;;;;''-,__
................................................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;. . .''|::::::::|. .,';;;;;;;;;;''-,
................................................,' ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;. . .:::::,'. ./|;;;;;;;;;;;;;|
.............................................,-'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',: : |__|. . .|;;;;;;;;;,';;|
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........................................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;. . |::|. . . |;;;;;;;;|/
......................................../;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;; ;;; |..|. . . .|;;;;;;;;|
......................................./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;'', |.;|. . . . ;;;;;;;|
....................................,~'';;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;,-'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|. |.;|. . . . .|;;;;;;;|
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..............................|;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-';;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;| |:|. . .,';;;;;',;;;;|_
............................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'_;;;;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; |.|:|. . .|;;;;;;;|;;;;|''''~-,
............................/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/_'',;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ,;;| |:|. . ./;;;;;;;;|;;;|;;;;;;|-,,__
........................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'...|;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;| |:|._,-';;;;;;;;;|;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;'''-,_
......................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'....,';;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;|.|:|::::'''~--~'''||;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;,-~''''~--,
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................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/.......,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;|:|:|:::::::::::::::|;;;;;|................ .............._

Heh becomes distorted a bit...

Stranger: lets just get this out of the way, I'm a 20 m canada gay male
You: Hi I am blind
You: I only know how to type the first line and this one
You: ubancubiubcs
You: uabcbdvvbjb?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[X-Chick]

Stranger: hi
You: is this your ip: 98.264.763.62?
Stranger: ...i don't know
You: i've got what i need. thanks.
You have disconnected.

 

[Wiseman]

Stranger: hi
You: is this your ip: 98.264.763.62?
Stranger: ...i don't know
You: i've got what i need. thanks.
You have disconnected.

hahaha, you are evil. I love it

 

[Majic Walrus]

Hahaha, that's great.

 

[knowsbleed]

Stranger: lets just get this out of the way, I'm a 20 m canada gay male
You: Hi I am blind
You: I only know how to type the first line and this one
You: ubancubiubcs
You: uabcbdvvbjb?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Haha... uasdbubadlfj

 

[Cunning Stunts]

Stranger: hi
You: is this your ip: 98.264.763.62?
Stranger: ...i don't know
You: i've got what i need. thanks.
You have disconnected.

LMAO. You're freakin' hilarious on that site.

 

[X-Chick]

hahaha, you are evil. I love it

i keep hoping we get randomly connected there.

 

[X-Chick]

Stranger: Hi~
You: hi
Stranger: where are you live?
You: metropolis
Stranger: Wow, I never heared about that country
Stranger: where it is?
You: next to germany
Stranger: Oh cool~
Stranger: So it's in Europe
You: you're a bright one, aren't you?
Stranger: lol
Stranger: I thinks so
Stranger: thanks

i keep finding winners

 

[X-Chick]

take two:

You: hi
Stranger: hey
Stranger: from ?
You: metropolis
Stranger: wtf ?
Stranger: country ?
You: yeah
You: its country
You: just north of italy and south of england
Stranger: hm...
Stranger: male ?
You have disconnected.

 

[The Battousai]

Kids who go on that site are either completely new to the horrors of "teh internetz", or complete morons.

 

[knowsbleed]

Haha... that guy is insane.

"Stranger: That's fine, Xzibit gonna Pimp Your Kielbasa"

 

[Wiseman]

You: What's the craziest thing you've ever done?
Stranger: gone streaking on a dare
You: ha, that's funny
Stranger: wbu?
You: murdered three people
You: for fun
Stranger: cool
You: They still haven't caught me
You: it's been like 6 years
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[Wiseman]

This one isn't as funny as some of my other conversations but it made me giggle, just pretend I'm Obama as you read it


Stranger: hi *******
You: I'm on the toilet right now, I just need someone to talk to me so I don't feel the pain

Stranger: hahahahha
You: I've been constipated for a week
Stranger: niceee!
You: it burns
You: it burns so much
Stranger: have you belly ache?
You: yes
Stranger: ohh
Stranger: thats sucks
You: I took a laxative and it just made my stomach rumble
You: nothings coming out though
You: I feel hemmoroids starting
Stranger: yea, probably
You: I'm watching videos of people ****ting right now just because I wish I could do it
Stranger: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Stranger: and what you'll gonna do?
You: I think I need someone to call me an ambulance, I don't want to leave the bathroom, can you do it for me
Stranger: why do not you go to the hospital?

Stranger: i cant
Stranger: I'm far from your country
You: what country you live in
Stranger: where are you from?
You: Washington D.C.
Stranger: so far
Stranger: im from brazil
Stranger: so far away*
You: I live at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave...........can you call anyone at all and tell them
You: I'm in so much pain
Stranger: the emergency number of washington dont work here
Stranger: call your mother, you friendsss
You: I don't have the phone in here with me
Stranger: your neighbor, maybe
Stranger: well, get up there
You: I can't, I have the tip of a piece hanging out
Stranger: scream!
You: it won't go back in
You: I'm in a big house
Stranger: are you alone?
Stranger: do you have msn? myspace
Stranger: call your friendss
You: I'm not allowed to have any of that stuff because of my job
Stranger: ohh.. thats sad
Stranger: so.. i think i have to go ... for you find someone who lives in your city or in your country
Stranger: bye byee
You: no, don't leave me
You: I'll be here alone
Stranger: hahahaha
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[X-Chick]

You: hi
Stranger: ?AMBER
You: yeah, how'd you know?
Stranger: FAV SANDWICH?
You: pb&j, obviously
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[X-Chick]

what are the odds?

Stranger: AMBER?
You: you again?
Stranger: YEAH, IM LOOKING FOR SOMEONE?
You: i already told you i'm amber!
Stranger: FAV SANDWICH?
You: turkey
Stranger: NO
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

i'll get it right next time.