One time I got really drunk and...

[Majic Walrus]

So last night was poker night and a few friends from work decided to drink and play poker. Long story short we all drank far to much. My friend who will be hereby known as "John" decided to walk across the road at 4:00 AM to hit on the neighbor.

She she said in no uncertain terms that he was a "horse's ass" and that if he ever came back she would "stab him in the taint."

In semi-sober hindsight this morning John realized his grave error was not in hitting on the neighbor at 4:00 AM, but instead was in hitting on her while holding an empty liter bottle of Jack Daniels' in his hand.

So to cheer John up how about you share some horrible drunk mistakes.

 

[Nathan]

I was rambling and confessing my love in a very loud fashion on my 17th Birthday. The rest of the night is a blurr.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

The first time I ever drank I puked 15 times, every where.

 

[Majic Walrus]

The first time I ever drank I puked 15 times, every where.

Good man. I make vomit a habit of drinking. If I drink more than a pint of liqour I always vomit twice and drink a pint of water before I sleep it off.

 

[Hound55]

Oh man... this is the last post I'll make in this topic or many will think a fair bit less of me.

The Simpsons quote "Alcohol is a way of life. Alcohol is MY way of life and I plan to keep it!" would have been my mantra through high school. Booze and basketball is how I survived...

 

[Aesop Rocks]

Good man. I make vomit a habit of drinking. If I drink more than a pint of liqour I always vomit twice and drink a pint of water before I sleep it off.

When I was puking my friends and I were jamming to some Led Zepp and I said:

"TURN THAT OFF NOW I WILL NOT BE ****ING JOHN BONHAM".

(died choking on his own puke).

 

[Hound55]

There's worse things to be than John Bonham...

Dude died more talented as a drummer than most could ever hope to be...

 

[Aesop Rocks]

Huh?

 

[Hound55]

Huh?

Disregard.

Honestly, I've had more than a few Coopers Dark Ale's tonight (which makes this fairly opportune timing for this topic)

 

[Aesop Rocks]

I just bought a 30 pack of Busch Light about 2 hours ago.

Hm, being 21 rocks.


One time when I was super tanked, we were having a cook out at a friend of mines and a girl called his phone, I knew it only worked in 'speaker phone' mode and well I was drunk and those things slip your mind. Anyways, she was just too hot and she was on her way over and me being me I said "Thank God, I'm gonna try to **** her". She hung up and none of us ever talked to her again.

 

[CelticPredator]

Never been drunk...but I've been around some drunk people before. I hate them.

All they do is puke, sleep, and want sex. Which I guess isnt bad...unless you're a acne ridden tub of lard trying to get in my pants.

Drunk people scare me.....

 

[Aesop Rocks]

I'm used to be a wild stupid drunk.

Now I just get drunk and eat then sleep.

For 2 days....

 

[Majic Walrus]

Never been drunk...but I've been around some drunk people before. I hate them.

All they do is puke, sleep, and want sex. Which I guess isnt bad...unless you're a acne ridden tub of lard trying to get in my pants.

Drunk people scare me.....

That sounds about right.

 

[VampElvis]

Two from me

I lived in a motel style dorm in college, all doors opened to the outside. There were lights in between the doors of each room for lighting the external walkway at night. My room was on the end opposite the parking lot and one night I came home and punched all the lights off the wall as I was walking to my place.

Then there was the time I got drunk before we went to the club and asked for the keys. They gave them to me. I passed out in the car and woke up hours later and they rocked the car and screamed at me. The club had closed and kicked them out and they were freezing in 20 degree weather trying to wake me up so we could get back to he hotel. I was comfortably passed out in the back seat using all their coats as blankets.

Two funny stories witnessed that weren't me

We were hosting a party once and some fat dude passed out on a futon. That was no big deal, happens all the time. We noticed he pissed himself, ok, gross, but ok. A little later we noticed the smell. Then we made his friends carry his huge fat crap filled underpants self the hell out of out party. Yes, the bozo pooped himself.

Again, back on campus, we got really drunk and decided to walk to a nearby club were we got even worse. Walking back, one of the guys got real paranoid and decided he was being watched. He started running around erratically then the next thing you know he dives head-first into a construction dumpster. We pull him out and he's all scratched and cut up and bleeding - and still babbling about how they are gonna get him and as soon as he gets his legs under him he takes off again. Even drunk and zigg-zagging like a madman he was still a LOT faster than the rest of us and next thing we know he's gone. We get back to the dorm and he's there looking quite ragged and now he's shoeless. Seems he decided there were tracking devices in his shoes so he threw them away. We went looking for them the next day but they were gone.

 

[Hound55]

Never been drunk...but I've been around some drunk people before. I hate them.

All they do is puke, sleep, and want sex. Which I guess isnt bad...unless you're a acne ridden tub of lard trying to get in my pants.

Drunk people scare me.....

So essentially what you are saying is that it makes us men puke...

... well, I guess the odds we'll puke goes up exponentially. Fair comment.

 

[Nathan]

I have to say THE biggest mistake I did wasn't when I was drunk, it was the day after when I was sober.

Never make the mistake of drinking a glass of orange juice because you feel like you want something fruity. After that one glass of juice, I couldn't keep anything down anymore for most of the day. Not even water.

 

[Drakon]

I'm still trying to piece together what I did last night. All I know is that all my underwear were on the floor, I watched and relentlessly mocked the Dragonball movie [especially Roshi's interpretive dancing], my recent calls and all my texts were cleared, and I apparently called a few people and left hilarious voice mails.

 

[Drizzle]

I was drunk last night. Apparently I IM'ed my best friend and his girlfriend in a threeway chat, asking them when the hell they were getting married, if I was going to be the best man, and if I could be the godfather of their kids. They've only been dating a month and a half.

 

[Hound55]

i was drunk last night. Apparently i im'ed my best friend and his girlfriend in a threeway chat, asking them when the hell they were getting married, if i was going to be the best man, and if i could be the godfather of their kids. They've only been dating a month and a half.

gold!

 

[Drakon]

From the TIVO Thread:

I don't remember this even happening. And just a few minutes ago I pooped and could still taste the absinth. God help me.

You tasted it with your ass or you ate your poop which tasted like absinthe?

Ugh I don't care to know.

I was wondering this myself.

why would you even ask this?

He's a team player. I want to know, and deep down I think you want to know.

You know how sometimes when you burp, you can taste a little of what you had? Kinda like that, but I was pooping, and didn't burp.

This makes no biological sense.

Yeh, I think you should be thankful it was the absinthe you tasted lol

So was the taste coming from your ass?

No, like...I dunno how to explain it. All I know is I'm forever ruined on Absinthe and jelly beans.

 

[Ion Kenshin]

^^So great

 

[Anubis]

I got really drunk and made out with a 6'2" Transsexual on the train.

 

[Hound55]

Heh. Absinthe is a bad mutha...

Can remember the first time I went to Sydney, I sat myself in a sports bar in Sky City (Sydney Casino) and watched the Cavs play the Pacers a few years ago, drank around a dozen beers and finally thought to myself "You know what? I've always wanted to try absinthe, give me a shot of that." Downed the shot, taste was better than I thought it would be. Ordered another and nailed it too, asked for a third and got told they couldn't legally sell me more absinthe for a certain amount of time so I went back to beer because I still didn't feel hammered.

Anyway, the game finished and I wanted to go hit up the Garden Buffet (since destroying smorgasboards is what I was born for), felt completely sober, got up off the bar stool and my legs gave out under me. It was the craziest thing I'd ever gone through as the booze was hitting me from the ankles upwards...

But we're not done yet.

As it was hitting from the bottom up and I had consumed an awful lot of booze I went into the buffet, got my table. Felt the call of nature so went off to the bathroom, picked out a stool, sat down and BAM!

...passed out sitting upright on the can.

HAHAHA That was a crazy drinking session... woke up 3 hours later when the lunch session had finished by someone knocking on the door and asking if I was alright.

"Huh, yeah man, I'm ok, I'm just mrrfgusssaddaphrft."

 

[Wiseman]

When I was 17 there was this girl that had the biggest crush on me, and she was hot. I decided to spend the first night with her at a friends house where I got completely hammered off Goldshlager I told her how into her I was too, started making out with her. Asked her to be my girlfriend, then ten seconds later broke up with her cause I thought it was funny........at the end of the night I was so wasted I couldn't walk her down the stairs of the apt because I couldn't make it to the door without falling. Right after she left I sat on the couch and puked all over myself. My friends rolled me into the bathroom where I stripped naked and slept on a pile of dirty clothes....................Two weeks later I started dating her for real though, so no lession learned

 

[B]

Do you plan it all or do you just make it up as you go along?