2010 was a banner year for my drunk ass.
May - For my friend's 21st birthday, we all went to a bar. Of course, I pregamed with straight tequila. My friend warned me not to overdo it, but I responded with some smartass answer like, "You're just a lightweight." I was gone by the time we got to the bar. So much so that I passed out on the beer pong table. That's what I remember up to. My friends filled me in on the rest. I apparently woke up afterwards, and in the bathroom, I started saying to anyone who would listen, "Thank God for urinals, otherwise I'd be pissing all over the place" and "It feels good to pee" until my friend dragged me out of there. Not long after telling a girl she had a nice ass and passing out once again near the dance floor, we left to go to a diner. Of course, because I was wasted, I had the bright idea of ordering a slice of chocolate cake and a glass of milk instead of normal sobering food like a burger. I puked straight milk out the car window on the ride home. I would say I regret something, but I can't remember any of it.
June - Dominated in beer pong at my friend's barbeque and ate a full box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch by myself. Puked my guts out.
August - Broke a digital jukebox at a bar by punching the screen. Never got caught.
September - Went home with a girl who hooked up with five other guys at the bar besides myself the same night as me. I know this because I saw it happen, but by the end of the night I was too drunk to care. Needless to say I spent the next morning in the shower gargling mouthwash.
November - After a night at the bar, my friends and I went to a ***tty old diner to sober up where we sang "Shout" with what appeared to be a crackhead at 3 am. It actually started out awesome. The guy just started shouting "A little bit louder now!" and like clockwork, we all answered back, "Shout!" and it went on for five minutes.
