The Amazing Spider-Man Pitch your Spidey wisecracks

[DACMAN]

grittier

"**** you I'm Spider-Man! *****"

but seriously, I've always liked:

"Be careful with that gun, you fire it prematurely and women are going to talk"

Nice.

Ultimate Spider-Man? If not that has to be from JMS's run. That guy could write Spidey like no-one's buisness.

 

[DACMAN]

i was fine how they were in the original trilogy i don't want the wisecracks to be so ridiculous it halts the whole scene

personally i saw quite bit of wisecracks in the whole series

Yeah. But we want ones that don't suck. "You're the one who's out Goblin. Out of your mind!" Just doesn't cut it.

Though "That's a cute outfit. Did your husband give it to you?" was ok. So was "look at Goblin Jr. Gonna cry?"

Other than those two, the rest were terrible.

 

[itsleroy]

Haha, some of you guys are actually really funny.

I don't know why, but I really enjoyed:

"Here's your change!" and "I have a knack for that" (during the bank robbery scene in Spider-Man 2 with Doc Ock.)

Also, when he punches Sandman in the chest and it gets stuck there, and he goes,

"Oh oh."

Short, and really really ridiculously funny.

 

[DACMAN]

"Who comes to a city filled with superheros to rob a bank? Seriously? It's actually kind of insulting."

Ok.

How about

♪♫♪♫♪♫♫♪
"Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Does whatever a spider can. Punch the bad guy, in the face! Kick him in, his special place! Look out, here comes the Spider-Man!"♪♫♪♫♪♫♫

 

[DACMAN]

Haha, some of you guys are actually really funny.

I don't know why, but I really enjoyed:

"Here's your change!" and "I have a knack for that" (during the bank robbery scene in Spider-Man 2 with Doc Ock.)

Also, when he punches Sandman in the chest and it gets stuck there, and he goes,

"Oh oh."

Short, and really really ridiculously funny.

Ok, first off it was "UH oh" Second, you're not that hard to please are you...

 

[Beanjuice]

Just read any issue of Ultimate Spider-Man.

Yeah, I dont really like the series,but Spidey is definitely at his funniest

 

[NinjaCarm]

I think Spider-Man should use nicknames at one point (like SM1) to like Vulture calling him Vulchie like the 60's cartoon.

Gobby! Lizzie!

Ok maybe not....

 

[itsleroy]

Ok, first off it was "UH oh" Second, you're not that hard to please are you...

Yeah my bad. I just thought it was really funny.

 

[NinjaCarm]

How about Spidey says.... "Uh... I don't dance."

 

[Ipodman]

Who's deadpool?

 

[Solidus]

Who's deadpool?

A Marvel character, started in the X-Men spinoffs. What brought on this question?

 

[spider-neil]

I always wanted spidey to sing or at least hum 'spider-man spider-man does whatever a spider can'

it doesn't matter what context it is used that would be so funny, a superhero humming his own theme tune


*superman flying*

superman -
'do, do do do do - do do do...
do, do do, do do - DO DO DO DO!'

 

[Ipodman]

Too bad Sony now wants a gritty, darker Spidey

 

[Ipodman]

Too bad Sony now wants a gritty, darker Spidey

 

[Beanjuice]

Who's deadpool?

I know not everyone knows everything about comic heroes but here on the hype, im shocked at this question

 

[Jennifer Walters]

I'm surprised an Ace of Knaves signal didn't go off alerting him to this thread.

 

[david icke]

Yeh, Jameson was the 'Kiddo' in that scenario. Spider-man and green-goblin were 'Mom and Dad'.

Yeah, well I was tired last night, but my point remains the same, just switch Jameson with GG, it doesn't change my point about why the gag works. I still don't get why you found that a 'strange' joke.

The thread is, pitch your spidey-wisecracks. Not make innacurate arguments, criticize someone else's suggestion and then offer none of your own. Did Spidey offend you with the husband joke?

It wasn't an inaccurate argument, see above.

Look, if you're going to post up something that comes across as offensive, like, 'Spidey shouldn't be making jokes making out he and the Goblin are mom and dad because that would make them a couple and that would make them gay, and that's strange! Spidey is not gay! why would he make such a 'strange' joke?! Change it to 'grown-ups!' Then someone is going to call you out on it.
Because that's what you basically said by saying they should have changed that joke because it was 'strange'.
edit: and if you wonder why someone might find it a little 'iff-y' or offensive that you would want to change that totally innocent joke for that reason, it's because it suggests that you find 'gay' behaviour strange, and wonder why someone straight would make a joke like that.
Tbh, I never thought about the gag that deeply until you brought it up, I find that a little strange.

It's a public discussion board, you post something up, it's open to discussion, if that sounds 'strange' to you, maybe you should stick to jotting things down in a little notepad no-one sees, or get used to the ways of a discussion board.

and if I had thought of a good enough quip of my own for Spidey I would have posted it up, I'm not going to sit and go through my books looking for quips or post up something average. If I think of a good one I'll post it up, but if you're going to post up a critique and opinion of the previous movie's quips, then you probably should expect a rebuttal if someone doesn't agree.

Ok, maybe I shouldn't have offered up a critique of your own joke, but I was still making a general point, I'd rather no quips than ok quips that will get old.

 

[Jennifer Walters]

Spider-Man: -to Green Goblin- Wow, that is an impressive costume. Where ya headed the World of Warcraft convention? Cause you know it's funny...I

Green Goblin: Shut up, you meddlesome trouble-maker! I am the Green Goblin and I demand respect!

Spider-Man: Buddy, dressed like that the only thing you are gonna get is a level up.
Get it, level up? Ah, nobody appreciates my wittyness.

 

[spider-neil]

mysterio behind a curtain

*prepare to witness the majesty of...MYSTERIO!!'

*curtain pulls back*

*spidey takes one look at mysterio*

spidey - 'ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!' 'my spline!!!'

mysterio - 'are you quite finished...'

spidey - 'oohhhh, ahhh...okay...okay...I'm ready...

mysterio - 'good because I...

spidey - 'ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!'

 

[Steyin]

I always enjoyed this one the most from TAS, a slightly modified version would be great:

With Flash impersonating Spidey:

Goon: "Hey, there's two of them!?"

SM: "Congratulations, you can count; and they say the public school system isn't working anymore.

 

[TheWatcher]

Here's One
-First sight of Lizard
Spider-Man"Woah,What is your Origin?Does it involve James Cameron?"
-Talking to Kraven
Spider-Man-"Hey Congo Bill!Run out of Gorillas?
-Talking to Mysterio
Spider-Man-"Mind if I Lift your "Helmet" and Look for Nemo?"
Mysterio-"What?"
Spider-Man-"Wow.....That one went right over your bowl"

That's all I got!

 

[Immortalfire]

One of my favorites was in TAS...

*a gang of thugs run at Spidey*

Thug: Get him! It's three against one!
Spider-Man: As far as I'm concerned, that means you're outnumbered.

 

[Jahu-Momus]

Spider Man holding a criminal to his face.

Criminal: W-Who are you?

Spidey: I'm Bat....I'm Spiderman

 

[DACMAN]

I always wanted spidey to sing or at least hum 'spider-man spider-man does whatever a spider can'

it doesn't matter what context it is used that would be so funny, a superhero humming his own theme tune


*superman flying*

superman -
'do, do do do do - do do do...
do, do do, do do - DO DO DO DO!'

They really over played his theme already don't you think? They played it in all 3 films.

 

[lordofthenerds]

If Sony's really aiming for a darker Spider-Man, I don't think we'll be seeing many wisecracks.