Random Chat Logs

[SuperFerret]

 

[Optikal]

Optikal says:
Ghost Rider was just on on Five
Lewis says:
Did you watch? You masochist?
Optikal says:
nope. seen it before though. cracking film
that dude from American Beauty nailed Blackheart
and Cage as the Rider? brilliant casting
Lewis says:
I do love sarcasm
Optikal says:
Eva Mendez dude.
EVA ****ING MENDEZ makes this the best film EVAR
Lewis says:
Eva Mendez can suck a dick... actually that would make the film better
Optikal says:
as far as comic book films go
oh yes. yes it would
http://www.stupidcollege.com/Images/Sexy_Eva_Mendes.jpg
she can suck mine any day
Lewis says:
I came
not due to the picture
no
due to the mental image of sucking your dick
Optikal says:
Chatlogged.

 

[Andy C.]

Not directly Hype related, but I absolutely had to share this with you guys, because I think I may have just struck upon the single greatest business venture of all time.

StopAudacity716: odd thought

StopAudacity716: ever find yourself wishing you had an arch-enemy?

StopAudacity716: not like some *****ebag at work or something like that

timesGodjillion: lmao

timesGodjillion: yes i haev

timesGodjillion: have*

StopAudacity716: I mean, like, a proper blood-oaths-and-curses, battle on the rooftop of a burning building, I'll get you next time arch-enemy

StopAudacity716: at the very least, it would break up the boredom

timesGodjillion: lmao

timesGodjillion: that would be AWESOME

StopAudacity716: we should start a business

StopAudacity716: like for personal trainers, and personal assistants, only instead, you get a personal arch-enemy

timesGodjillion: start the guild of calamitous intent

StopAudacity716: damn right

StopAudacity716: like, break into a client's house and steal his work assignments

StopAudacity716: leave threatnening messages on their voicemail

StopAudacity716: send random, easily-dispatched goons to jump them in the parking lot (who are paid to take a dive)

timesGodjillion: lmao

timesGodjillion: life would so freaking exciting that way

timesGodjillion: if that was just a common thing

StopAudacity716: exactly

StopAudacity716: oh, and premium memers get the "Now it's personal" treatment

StopAudacity716: which is basically the arching equivalent of a friends-and-family plan

StopAudacity716: you pick your ten best friends and family and they get included in the arch-enemy program

StopAudacity716: so we'll have dramatic moments where we hold girlfriends hostage, seduce wives, threaten parents, make their kids love us more than them, etc

StopAudacity716: then have a big fight where I hang from a helicopter and eventually fall into the river

StopAudacity716: "Well, thank God that's the last of him."
"No....he'll be back....he always comes back...."

timesGodjillion: LMAO

timesGodjillion: you sir are a genius

StopAudacity716: holy **** this is the best idea I've ever had

timesGodjillion: i guarantee that'd work

timesGodjillion: or just like 1-time villains

timesGodjillion: to make someone's day

timesGodjillion: make them feel like a hero

timesGodjillion: could be like an anniversary present

StopAudacity716: yeah

StopAudacity716: dude, that's actually a ****ing great thing

StopAudacity716: companies could rent us out for team-building exercises instead of sending people out to some ******** paintball ranch

StopAudacity716: imagine how much easier it would be to get people to cooperate if the office was under siege by the Black Banshee!

timesGodjillion: LMFAO

StopAudacity716: oh man, we have got to do this

timesGodjillion: imagine the kind of self-esteem boost you'd give somebody

timesGodjillion: when they come home and their story is "i stopped a madman from taking over my place of business today"

StopAudacity716: "Well Dad, we were going to throw a big surprise birthday party for you, but now Dr. Mayhem is holding us all hostage! Come save us before it's too late!"

StopAudacity716: oh my God, this could be amazing

StopAudacity716: like, seriously

StopAudacity716: come home from a long grinding day at work, only to discover a DVD with a message letting you know the Mastermind has planted a time-bomb somewhere in your house

StopAudacity716: that'll liven up your ****in' day

StopAudacity716: or one of these ****ing things bursts through your front door:

StopAudacity716: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-epic-mounts-for-real-life/

timesGodjillion: lmao wtf?

StopAudacity716: exactly

StopAudacity716: dude, YouTube is full of people building **** like this in their garages. It wouldn't be too hard to put a roomful of them to work on something insane to terrorize our clients

StopAudacity716: but give them an easy-to-find 'weak spot' that'll shut it down

StopAudacity716: "So how was your day?"

StopAudacity716: "Pretty slow at first. Linda wanted me to re-do the spreadsheets from last week, then Lord Insector busted into the room on a giant mechanical praying mantis and started shooting fire everywhere!"

timesGodjillion: you, sir, a god damn genius

StopAudacity716: "Luckily I had my stapler, and hit it right on the glowing crystal between its eyes, and he was foiled!"

timesGodjillion: LMFAO

timesGodjillion: this is quite possibly the best conversation i've ever had

StopAudacity716: same here

StopAudacity716: half of me is just laughing at the sheer insanity of this

StopAudacity716: and the other half is wondering if it would actually work as a viable business

StopAudacity716: at the very least, we have to make a video about this

timesGodjillion: lol

StopAudacity716: like, ****ing seriously

timesGodjillion: i honestly think it'd workd

timesGodjillion: work*

StopAudacity716: it'd be a very specific clientele

StopAudacity716: rich people with a lot of time on their hands

StopAudacity716: at least at first, until we have enough business that we can lower prices

StopAudacity716: not to mention we'd have to be very careful about the kind of people we'd hire to be our 'villains'

StopAudacity716: make sure they're not going to actually hurt people and ****

timesGodjillion: yeah definately

StopAudacity716: I remember seeing a computer game a few years ago that was kind of like a one-man murder mystery, that you actually would play through your email, your web browser, **** you'd send for in the mail, etc

StopAudacity716: maybe start with something like that as your 'basic' package, where our villain concocts a mystery or challenge for you

timesGodjillion: the basic package is just threatening phone calls and notes

timesGodjillion: but no real appearance

StopAudacity716: right

StopAudacity716: as you go, you can 'upgrade' to personal appearances, goon attacks, etc

StopAudacity716: the premium package gets the whole shebang

StopAudacity716: city-spanning mysteries, climactic battles (with Hulk hands or something), doomsday devices

timesGodjillion: kidnappings

timesGodjillion: of loved ones

StopAudacity716: stage a "why don't you just kill me now and end it once and for all!" moment every time their contract is up

timesGodjillion: LMAO

 

[Andy C.]

timesGodjillion: although

timesGodjillion: the basic package COULD be like..instead of a villain

timesGodjillion: you just get a rival

StopAudacity716: yeah

timesGodjillion: someone that just one-ups you all the time

timesGodjillion: you get a new car

timesGodjillion: he gets a better one

timesGodjillion: same day

StopAudacity716: a new car would be way too expensive for the basic package

timesGodjillion: it was just an example

timesGodjillion: GOSH

StopAudacity716: yeah, but I get what you mean

timesGodjillion: get their employer to let him "work" there

StopAudacity716: and get promoted before him

timesGodjillion: and get the promotion he always wanted

timesGodjillion: damn beat me to it

timesGodjillion: find out his favorite food from the snack machine

timesGodjillion: and just leave 1 in there

timesGodjillion: and buy the last one as he walks in

StopAudacity716: hang around the donuts all the time, just so he can get the last one right before him

StopAudacity716: damn, beat me to it

StopAudacity716: spread embarassing rumors

StopAudacity716: hire professional atheletes for the other company at the annual softball game

StopAudacity716: again, too much money, but still

timesGodjillion: and he always has to be really overly nice to his face

timesGodjillion: but give him menacing looks as he passes by

StopAudacity716: yeah! Like, that kind of '**** you' polite

timesGodjillion: "oh that's too bad about your promotion. i tried to put in a good word for you, but..."

StopAudacity716: hahaha

StopAudacity716: now the question is, how do we get him to go from office-dick to supervillain if the client decides to upgrade?

StopAudacity716: GOT IT!

StopAudacity716: stage an 'accident' that 'horribly disfigures' the office-dick, who then vows revenge

timesGodjillion: blames the client

timesGodjillion: for no reason

StopAudacity716: heh

timesGodjillion: wasn't even at work that day

StopAudacity716: he's just the first person he looks at as he emerges from the wreckage

StopAudacity716: ".....YOOOOOUUUUU!!!!!"

timesGodjillion: wait

timesGodjillion: don't even have to disfigure him

timesGodjillion: after he gets promoted

timesGodjillion: have him walking out of the building with a box of his ****

timesGodjillion: but time it with the client coming in

timesGodjillion: just so he could be like, "YOU DO THIS! YOU WERE JEALOUS!"

timesGodjillion: throw his **** on the ground and just run away

StopAudacity716: "I'll get you for this, I swear it!"

StopAudacity716: just immediately starts going into arch-enemy dialogue

StopAudacity716: "No matter if it takes me an eternity, you will pay for this, you will PAAAAYYYY!!!!!!"

 

[SuperFerret]

Damn, that's better than my Tapeworms via E-Mail business idea.

 

[trustyside-kick]

 

[Gallagher]

The single greatest business meeting I've ever seen.

 

[wiegeabo]

This is the single greatest business model in the history of history.

 

[Batman]

The fanboy rationale at work.

Master Bruce says:
Know what I want for Christmas?
Byrd Man says:
*****?
Master Bruce says:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v724/panaf/batmans_harem_by_Bakanekonei.jpg
Damn right.
Byrd Man says:
They can jingle my bells any day
Master Bruce says:
Ho, ho... Hos!
Byrd Man says:
Is Batman that big of a pimp? He's sneaking over the fence and impregnating the Marvel hoes?
Master Bruce says:
Why not? As long as Mephisto's there to erase it ever happening, why not take the shot?
Byrd Man says:
I guess. Then why do it if you won't remember it?
Master Bruce says:
He's Batman.

*brief pause*

Byrd Man says:
Point taken

 

[wiegeabo]

And that right there is the definition of prep-time.


or something.

 

[Johnny Blaze]

Johnny Blaze says:
I missed you

bjarki says:
heeeeey buuuuuddy

Johnny Blaze says:
How's life?

bjarki says:
bobbing along nicely, how about on your end?

Johnny Blaze says:
Eh, can't complain too much
So, you had computer problems?

bjarki says:
For a while, yeah

Johnny Blaze says:
Right on
Well, wrong on
Or ****** on
Something other than right
I guess
Maybe
Possibly
I don't know
Now I'm just rambling

bjarki says:
Vagina

Johnny Blaze says:
James and the Giant Peach
Not playing the vagina game?

bjarki says:
Sure

Johnny Blaze says:
Fun With Dick and Vagina
A Vagina on Elm Street

bjarki says:
The Dark Vagina

Johnny Blaze says:
The Vagina Suicides

bjarki says:
The Vagina Monologues
Oh wait

Johnny Blaze says:
Dirty, Rotten Vaginas

bjarki says:
Inglorious Vaginas

Johnny Blaze says:
Along Came a Vagina

bjarki says:
Once Upon a Vagina

Johnny Blaze says:
The Vagina That Time Forgot

bjarki says:
Million Dollar Vagina

Johnny Blaze says:
The Vagina Redemption

bjarki says:
Men Who Stare at Vaginas

Johnny Blaze says:
Hahahaha
Good one

bjarki says:
Gracias

Johnny Blaze says:
Last Vagina On the Left

bjarki says:
Four Vaginas and a Funeral

Johnny Blaze says:
Fistful of Vagina

bjarki says:
hhahahaha
Dirty Vagina

Johnny Blaze says:
A Few Good Vaginas

bjarki says:
Lars and the Real Vagina

Johnny Blaze says:
Teenage Mutant Ninja Vaginas II: The Secret of the Ooze

bjarki says:
That's it
You win

Johnny Blaze says:
You know this is getting chat logged
It has to

bjarki says:
Of course it is

 

[wiegeabo]

Johnny Blaze says:
Teenage Mutant Ninja Vaginas II: The Secret of the Ooze

I would not be surprised if that was an actual title.

 

[wiegeabo]

Johnny Blaze says:
Teenage Mutant Ninja Vaginas II: The Secret of the Ooze

I would not be surprised if that was an actual title.

 

[Johnny Blaze]

I would not be surprised if that was an actual title.

It is. Was on Skinamax the other night.

 

[Saved]

[02:35] Master Bruce: You both scare and intrigue me.
[02:35] Syn: I'm like swine flu?
[02:35] Syn: or herper?
[02:35] Syn: herpes*
[02:35] Master Bruce: I'd say you're your own illness.
[02:35] Master Bruce: "Syn Flu"
[02:35] Syn: ...that's sounds epic
[02:36] Syn: am I deadly?
[02:36] Master Bruce: See, that statement right there didn't help your cause at all.

 

[wiegeabo]

Where were you when the Syn Flu pandemic struck?!

 

[trustyside-kick]

Bromance at its finest. Innocent and magical.

Johnny Blaze says:
I love you
Serge says:
i know
Johnny Blaze says:
I just had to say it
Serge says:
why dont we say that more often to each other?
something wrong with two grown men telling each other 'i love you'? ;o
Johnny Blaze says:
In some instances, yes
But that's neither here nor there
It's everywhere
Serge says:
i just want to climb the highest treetop and tell everyone how much i love my bud JB
Johnny Blaze says:
Ok
Do it
What the ****'s the hold up?
Serge says:
im scared
Johnny Blaze says:
Just have a few drinks of liquid courage and you'll be good to go

 

[SuperFerret]

He said that last line to me and then I woke up alone.


And cold.

 

[Johnny Blaze]

He said that last line to me and then I woke up alone.


And cold.

I had to go to work, and I didn't want to wake you.

 

[Mr. Majestic]

Bromance at its finest. Innocent and magical.

Johnny Blaze says:
I love you
Serge says:
i know
Johnny Blaze says:
I just had to say it
Serge says:
why dont we say that more often to each other?
something wrong with two grown men telling each other 'i love you'? ;o
Johnny Blaze says:
In some instances, yes
But that's neither here nor there
It's everywhere
Serge says:
i just want to climb the highest treetop and tell everyone how much i love my bud JB
Johnny Blaze says:
Ok
Do it
What the ****'s the hold up?
Serge says:
im scared
Johnny Blaze says:
Just have a few drinks of liquid courage and you'll be good to go

I'm sitting here at work reading all these laughing and people are walking by looking at me. I haven't laugh so hard since i was a little girl, thank you.

Some of these are just priceless. Now im sitting here thinking "Who can i chat with so i can put some stuff on the log?"

 

[Andy C.]

Andrew says:
remember that idea I had a while ago about the Outsiders being a social network feeding information to superheroes?
that could be huge in Gotham in the aftermath of this
and I still say it's how Dick Grayson should meet up with Barbara
Master Bruce says:
Could work
Hell, maybe they meet other future Bat-family members there.
Cass_Cain97
Andrew says:
Bizz-Alfred
Master Bruce says:
No, no
DaquiriButler
Andrew says:
perfect
I swear if you do that, I will overthrow all world governments and crown you king
Master Bruce says:
I can see Dick going through his friends list.
He passes DaquiriButler
Attempts to click on it
Decides not to
Andrew says:
nice
Master Bruce says:
"Even HE couldn't help me now..."
Meanwhile, Bizarro Alfred is off rebuilding planets.
Andrew says:
out of Legos
no, no, no, not Legos
K'Nex
Master Bruce says:
They'd all look like multi-colored Deathstars
Andrew says:
"Here no you am go! Bad as old!"
Master Bruce says:
Meanwhile, rotting Bizarro Batman is being eaten by space slugs
Andrew says:
in fact, that happens no matter where he goes
hopping around space with Bizarro Alfred? space slugs. heading back home after a hard day's work? space slugs. ordering food from the drive-thru? space slugs
Master Bruce says:
And he'd be armed with salt
Infact, that'd be the entirety of the contents of his utility belt
Just pouches and pouches of salt
Andrew says:
nice
that should be established way before the space slugs
"Why the hell does he only carry salt?"
"No am Bizarro prep-time!"
Master Bruce says:
He'd say that as his arm fell off, from years of decomposition.
So he tapes it back on with tape covered in Bat-logos
Andrew says:
awesome
oh man, that could be priceless
Batman tries to fight him
"I don't know what you are, but your game ends right OHGODSALT IT'S IN MY EYES, MY EEEEEYYYYYYESSSS!!!!!"
Master Bruce says:
Bizarro Batman throws a salt-shaker at him. Batman ducks. Bizarro Batman laughs, saying Batman just got fourteen years of good luck
Andrew says:
and it clunks some kid who was complaining about his french fries not having enough salt on them
Master Bruce says:
Bwahaha
Oh god. Bizarro Robin carries pepper.
Andrew says:
wait, wait
movie popcorn butter
Master Bruce says:
Disgusting
I like it
Andrew says:
and instead of the Danny Elfman theme, their song is "Let's go out to the lobby"
wait
Take Me Out to the Ball Game
get it, get it? BAT-man!
Master Bruce says:
Oh, good god.
Instead of a Bat on his chest, he just has a piece of wood lodged into it.
Andrew says:
just completely impaled straight through him
Master Bruce says:
"Bizarro Batman chestpiece feel good in cold."
Andrew says:
instead of night-vision goggles, he just lights the end of fire and uses it like a torch
Master Bruce says:
His Bat-rope could just be his guts, which are exposed due to the bat impalement.
Imagine him trying to latch it to a building.
Andrew says:
but are oddly enough still hooked into the grapnel gun
Master Bruce says:
Then trying to get Bizarro Robin into walking up the building, backwards.
Andrew says:
so it's like the world's worst silly string
Master Bruce says:
I tell you what. Lex Luthor's crisis should just be averted when Bizarro Alfred steps onto the scene.
Andrew says:
and does the Charleston
for a week
Master Bruce says:
Lex Luthor surrenders out of sheer astonishment
Andrew says:
everyone else joins in
credits
Master Bruce says:
Every sequel would be the same thing, afterwards
Andrew says:
no matter what
Master Bruce says:
Just Bizarro Alfred and company doing The Charleston
Andrew says:
Darkseid rises up from Apokolips?
Charleston
Master Bruce says:
Oddly, critics would still hail the first sequel as better than the first, yet pan the third and fourth ones
Andrew says:
Brainiac enslaves all life in the universe?
Charleston
Master Bruce says:
Then there'd be a reboot, which would be hailed as the best ever
Andrew says:
Superman wants a cup of coffee?
Charleston
Batman sleeps in a little late?
Charleston
Master Bruce says:
There'd be a big musical number with Superman trying to find a Starbucks in Metropolis
while doing the Charleston
Andrew says:
and still flying
Master Bruce says:
While on the streets, citizens are led by a Black Lantern Michael Jackson
Andrew says:
holy **** in a hat
you HAVE to end the Blackest Night like that
they all get up and do the Thriller
Master Bruce says:
*Abin Sur and Saint Walker rises*
*Hal Jordan lights his ring*
*Abin Sur's neck twitches, music starts*
Andrew says:
cause this is THRILLER, thril-ler night!
then the needle skips on the record
back to Bizarro Alfred and the ****ing Charleston
Master Bruce says:
EPIC

 

[wiegeabo]

I have no idea what the **** you are talking about.


But it is awesome!

 

[wiegeabo]

I have no idea what the **** you are talking about.


But it is awesome!

 

[SuperFerret]

My ribs hurt from laughing so much.

 

[Batman]

I have no idea what the **** you are talking about.

To be honest, I don't think either of us knew, either.