Master says
That Nightwing figure you have is pretty good, too. I have a NW figure, but it's not nearly as detailed or poseable.
Came in a two-pack with a ninja-styled Bats.
Scot Dy-No-Mite says
This one?
http://scifiblog.net/wp-content/uploads/-2090992807138098620.jpg
Master says
Yep
Scot Dy-No-Mite says
For the life of me, I can't figure out why the distribution of the themed Batmen toys always completely overwhelmed the normal Batmen figures. Assuming that a normal Batman was even made at all in a toyline before the last few years, you'd be lucky to find it at all under the piles of Ninja Strike Batman, Deep Sea Scuba Batman, Undercover Clown Batman, etc
Master says
The only ones I bought had to really appeal to me
Like, I have the scuba one and the glider one.
I bought a brown cowl/cape/glove/boot one with a black bodysuit because I liked the color scheme.
But the other two I have are pretty much standard Batman
Black one with the pouched belt and a blue/gray one with the oval and tube belt.
Scot Dy-No-Mite says
I bought one from the BTAS toyline that was something like "paraglider Batman" with a crappy bodysuit color scheme, but the "cape" it came with folded all the way around him like it did in the show. It looked alright if you just stood him like that, but of course you could open it up and turn it into a hysterical hand glider
Master says
I had that one too!
He was black with white... what was it, lightning? All over the damn suit
Drove me nuts, even as a kid
Scot Dy-No-Mite says
Lightning themed costume, yes, just what kids want to see in Batman
Gotta wonder how much business the toy companies were shortchanging themselves on there, since kids would want the normal one they saw on TV or the movies more than some freaky piece of s**t dreamed up by the marketing department that kids have no interest in.
However many millions of dollars wasted on that stuff over the years could've been spent on products that would sell so much easier
Master says
Some of the paint jobs didn't even make sense in the context of the accessory they were trying to sell.
I mean, I had a parachute Batman figure that was... orange.
What the F**K kind of Batsuit would Bruce need to be ORANGE?!
Scot Dy-No-Mite says
Creamsicle
Master says
Well...
You got me there.
Scot Dy-No-Mite says
Even Batman need to cool down with a tasty treat once in a while
I'm sure there's an edible underwear joke in there
Master says
But he's so anal about it that he can't just have Alfred buy them at the store. He has to make a suit made of creamsicle and lick it while he's going over his crime scene notes.
The Joker is on a mass murdering spree, and he's busy trying to bend over to get the last of it on his knee.
Scot Dy-No-Mite says
Nobody can bring themselves to make eye contact with him at the League meetings, while Bruce is licking his cape when he thinks no one is looking
"No, no, I'm totally listening (licklicklick). Go on."
Master says
He's making everything sticky, too
Makes it really hard to focus when Superman realizes some keys on the JLA computer won't work right
"Okay, either Wally's been watching the monitors while browsing those obscene sites he visits again, or Bruce is behind this..."
Scot Dy-No-Mite says
And Bruce just gets fatter and fatter.
Master says
Bruce has to wheel himself into meetings, each wheelchair getting sturdier and wider
Eventually he just invents a hoverchair to hoist his wideass all over Gotham
Scot Dy-No-Mite says
"I... I am *pantpant* ... I am the night..."
Master says
He just finally collapses when he makes it to the GCPD
Gordon has to just let him sleep it off, right there next to the Bat-signal
Scot Dy-No-Mite says
Bullock checks for a pulse in the morning.
"He's dead, Jim."
Master says
Dick is pissed off, because he just got back into the Nightwing duds.
"Oh, COME ON!"
"At least the Darkseid thing was understandable, but he ATE himself to death?!"
And considering Dick has to master everything Bruce did in order to become Batman again, as evidenced here...
http://www.shortpacked.com/comics/2009-06-18-ddr.png
Master says
He's immediately forced to make a new suit out of creamsicle and become obese aswell
Scot Dy-No-Mite says
Gordon tries to confront Dick. "Ditch the orange. You saw what happened to your fat old boss. That's no weigh to live."
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
Master says
Bullock literally does that as Gordon puts on sunglasses.
Scot Dy-No-Mite says
Cue montage of the GCPD and vigilantes going about their crime fighting business in the swamps of miami
Master says
Along with David Caruso wearing a cape
Scot Dy-No-Mite says
Every time he's in the same room as Dick, more puns come out
"I made him see the error of his weighs"
Master says
"Weigh to think ahead."
Scot Dy-No-Mite says
"That new guy's not bad. He was worth the weight."
"At least he's not as big a jerk as the last Batman."
"No, but this one is still a real Dick."
Master says
Meanwhile, Gotham's crime rate increases by the minute.
Gordon just refuses to acknowledge it because he's so busy thinking up new puns.
