Random Chat Logs

[wiegeabo]

I didn't even think of that.

Damn you! Now I can't stop!

 

[Batman]

Master Bruce says
Soze has something planned
He wants me in on it
Byrd Man says
That Soze. He's a schemer
Master Bruce says
Trying to control their little penises

 

[Spike_x1]

Master Bruce says
Superman takes over the world
Puts it in a bottle like Kandor and starts shaking it
"EAAAAARTHQUAAAAAKE!"
Scot Dy-No-Mite says
Man, I should have him wear that crown from the old "King Superman" silver age story
http://superdickery.com/images/stories/dick/97_4_0000311.jpg
Master Bruce says
"Bah!"
Your Superman should start saying that more often
Even after he comes to his senses
"Bah! Leeme alone, Lois."
"Can't you see I'm busy?! Goddamn you and your smothering, woman!" Then you reveal he's only playing Solitaire on his computer
Scot Dy-No-Mite says
"To think I could be on Almerac banging Maxima! At least SHE knows how to gimme my space."
Master Bruce says
"Fathering despots is sounding pretty dern good right now!"

 

[wiegeabo]

And he won't blow her uterus out when he climaxes.

 

[Spike_x1]

Considering there are any number of unknown variables in the way Kryptonians reproduce compared to humans, I like to think that Clark's ears are actually his genitals. They're pretty sensitive with that superhearing after all.

 

[wiegeabo]

At least Smallville explained it when Clark was talking to Chloe where the comics just gloss over it.

Clark: "Jor-El taught me how to control my whole body."

Chloe: "..."

Clark: "...everything."

Chloe: "...OH!"


Or dialog along those lines

 

[Batman]

Considering there are any number of unknown variables in the way Kryptonians reproduce compared to humans, I like to think that Clark's ears are actually his genitals. They're pretty sensitive with that superhearing after all.

...

Well, that just raises up a whole lot of disturbing mental images.

 

[trustyside-kick]

As funny as the subject is, I can believe it to a degree. I mean us guys have "mental" ways to not "blow our load" as soon as it naturally would sometimes because let's face it if we didn't every woman on the planet would be pissed because they never got pleased haha. Course then there are condoms...which makes everything just suck for the dude most of the time.

 

[Batman]

...That makes you believe that Superman's ears have the capacity to make babies?!

 

[wiegeabo]

...That makes you believe that Superman's ears have the capacity to make babies?!

Or he was referencing my post

 

[trustyside-kick]

Oh yea...was clearly referring to wieg's post.

 

[wiegeabo]

Although the ears thing might help explain why Lois never gets pregnant...

 

[Blacklight]

Explain Superman Returns then...

 

[wiegeabo]

Explain Superman Returns then...

Assuming we're still on the Superman II timeline, he knocked up Lois when he was still powerless.

Little known fact: It comes out the penis when they lose their powers.

 

[Spike_x1]

We don't know what kind of freaky sex they were having up in the Fortress of Solitude.

"Lois, this is going to sound weird, but could you rub your vagina on each of my ears? ...Harder."

 

[Andy C.]

Y'know what drives me insane about the whole "Superman can't sleep with a woman without tearing her in half with his wang" argument? Nobody ever mentions the simplest, most straightforward solution of just having Lois ride on top.

 

[wiegeabo]

He'd still blow right through her.

 

[Rain Dog]

He'd still blow right through her.

This. I'd imagine it being something like a shotgun blast and point blank range.

 

[Byrd Man]

This. I'd imagine it being something like a shotgun blast and point blank range.

Of course! Am I the only one who watched that film Hancock?!

 

[Spike_x1]

Every time I see that argument, though (and ignoring my awesome theory about his ears), the "shotgun blast/woman of kleenex" analogy makes the same silly assumption that Clark's reproductive organs function the same as a human being's. Therefore being enhanced under yellow sunlight, they function just like his other body parts compared to a human's, but are just strengthened by a zillion percent.

On what basis is that assumption made? Sure, he might look like a human on the outside, but we know for a fact that Clark is biologically veeery different on the inside from a human. For all we know, ejaculation (or whatever their equivalent) for Kryptonians doesn't involve much (solar-enhanced) internal muscle movement at all, and is instead similar to a runny nose. Or maybe those bits and pieces of him are unique and aren't affected by solar energy at all.

Or maybe I've thought way too much about this and am disgusting even myself at this point.

 

[Batman]

You know what? I'll just go ahead and say it.

Superman has no dick.

There. Done. Argument over.

 

[wiegeabo]

Or maybe I've thought way too much about this and am disgusting even myself at this point.

Bingo.

 

[Byrd Man]

I say we move on to more important things....


So, do you think Thing's junk is a giant, orange rock?

 

[twylight]

*is veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrryy interested in this discussion*


*takes notes*

 

[wiegeabo]

I say we move on to more important things....


So, do you think Thing's junk is a giant, orange rock?

Who cares about Thing.

Just imagine what Mr. Fantastic can do!