Random Chat Logs

Discussion in 'Approval & General RPG Discussion' started by Keyser Soze, Aug 21, 2008.

  1. wiegeabo Omniposcient

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2002
    Messages:
    37,116
    Likes Received:
    7
    :word:
     
  2. Batman Dramatic Example

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2003
    Messages:
    19,378
    Likes Received:
    4
    Master Bruce says
    Soze has something planned
    He wants me in on it
    Byrd Man says
    That Soze. He's a schemer
    Master Bruce says
    Trying to control their little penises
     
  3. Spike_x1 Get off my bandwagon!

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2003
    Messages:
    15,514
    Likes Received:
    0
    Master Bruce says
    Superman takes over the world
    Puts it in a bottle like Kandor and starts shaking it
    "EAAAAARTHQUAAAAAKE!"
    Scot Dy-No-Mite says
    Man, I should have him wear that crown from the old "King Superman" silver age story
    http://superdickery.com/images/stories/dick/97_4_0000311.jpg
    Master Bruce says
    "Bah!"
    Your Superman should start saying that more often
    Even after he comes to his senses
    "Bah! Leeme alone, Lois."
    "Can't you see I'm busy?! Goddamn you and your smothering, woman!" Then you reveal he's only playing Solitaire on his computer
    Scot Dy-No-Mite says
    "To think I could be on Almerac banging Maxima! At least SHE knows how to gimme my space."
    Master Bruce says
    "Fathering despots is sounding pretty dern good right now!"
     
  4. wiegeabo Omniposcient

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2002
    Messages:
    37,116
    Likes Received:
    7
    And he won't blow her uterus out when he climaxes.
     
  5. Spike_x1 Get off my bandwagon!

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2003
    Messages:
    15,514
    Likes Received:
    0
    Considering there are any number of unknown variables in the way Kryptonians reproduce compared to humans, I like to think that Clark's ears are actually his genitals. They're pretty sensitive with that superhearing after all.
     
  6. wiegeabo Omniposcient

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2002
    Messages:
    37,116
    Likes Received:
    7
    At least Smallville explained it when Clark was talking to Chloe where the comics just gloss over it.

    Clark: "Jor-El taught me how to control my whole body."

    Chloe: "..."

    Clark: "...everything."

    Chloe: "...OH!"


    Or dialog along those lines
     
  7. Batman Dramatic Example

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2003
    Messages:
    19,378
    Likes Received:
    4
    ...

    Well, that just raises up a whole lot of disturbing mental images.
     
  8. trustyside-kick The Marine Marvel

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2005
    Messages:
    16,475
    Likes Received:
    0
    As funny as the subject is, I can believe it to a degree. I mean us guys have "mental" ways to not "blow our load" as soon as it naturally would sometimes because let's face it if we didn't every woman on the planet would be pissed because they never got pleased haha. Course then there are condoms...which makes everything just suck for the dude most of the time.
     
  9. Batman Dramatic Example

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2003
    Messages:
    19,378
    Likes Received:
    4
    ...That makes you believe that Superman's ears have the capacity to make babies?!
     
  10. wiegeabo Omniposcient

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2002
    Messages:
    37,116
    Likes Received:
    7
    Or he was referencing my post ;) :p
     
  11. trustyside-kick The Marine Marvel

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2005
    Messages:
    16,475
    Likes Received:
    0
    Oh yea...was clearly referring to wieg's post. :awesome:
     
  12. wiegeabo Omniposcient

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2002
    Messages:
    37,116
    Likes Received:
    7
    Although the ears thing might help explain why Lois never gets pregnant... ;)
     
  13. Blacklight Revamped and Renegade.

    Joined:
    May 28, 2007
    Messages:
    6,790
    Likes Received:
    0
    Explain Superman Returns then... :o
     
  14. wiegeabo Omniposcient

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2002
    Messages:
    37,116
    Likes Received:
    7
    Assuming we're still on the Superman II timeline, he knocked up Lois when he was still powerless.

    Little known fact: It comes out the penis when they lose their powers.
     
  15. Spike_x1 Get off my bandwagon!

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2003
    Messages:
    15,514
    Likes Received:
    0
    We don't know what kind of freaky sex they were having up in the Fortress of Solitude.

    "Lois, this is going to sound weird, but could you rub your vagina on each of my ears? ...Harder."
     
  16. Andy C. Repent, Harlequin!

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2006
    Messages:
    3,762
    Likes Received:
    0
    Y'know what drives me insane about the whole "Superman can't sleep with a woman without tearing her in half with his wang" argument? Nobody ever mentions the simplest, most straightforward solution of just having Lois ride on top.
     
  17. wiegeabo Omniposcient

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2002
    Messages:
    37,116
    Likes Received:
    7
    He'd still blow right through her.
     
  18. Rain Dog Failure

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2007
    Messages:
    1,843
    Likes Received:
    0
    This. I'd imagine it being something like a shotgun blast and point blank range.
     
  19. Byrd Man El Hombre Pájaro

    Joined:
    May 25, 2006
    Messages:
    21,645
    Likes Received:
    0
    Of course! Am I the only one who watched that film Hancock?! :cmad:
     
  20. Spike_x1 Get off my bandwagon!

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2003
    Messages:
    15,514
    Likes Received:
    0
    Every time I see that argument, though (and ignoring my awesome theory about his ears), the "shotgun blast/woman of kleenex" analogy makes the same silly assumption that Clark's reproductive organs function the same as a human being's. Therefore being enhanced under yellow sunlight, they function just like his other body parts compared to a human's, but are just strengthened by a zillion percent.

    On what basis is that assumption made? Sure, he might look like a human on the outside, but we know for a fact that Clark is biologically veeery different on the inside from a human. For all we know, ejaculation (or whatever their equivalent) for Kryptonians doesn't involve much (solar-enhanced) internal muscle movement at all, and is instead similar to a runny nose. Or maybe those bits and pieces of him are unique and aren't affected by solar energy at all.

    Or maybe I've thought way too much about this and am disgusting even myself at this point. :cmad:
     
    #795 Spike_x1, Jul 30, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2011
  21. Batman Dramatic Example

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2003
    Messages:
    19,378
    Likes Received:
    4
    You know what? I'll just go ahead and say it.

    Superman has no dick.

    There. Done. Argument over.
     
  22. wiegeabo Omniposcient

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2002
    Messages:
    37,116
    Likes Received:
    7
    Bingo.
     
  23. Byrd Man El Hombre Pájaro

    Joined:
    May 25, 2006
    Messages:
    21,645
    Likes Received:
    0
    I say we move on to more important things....


    So, do you think Thing's junk is a giant, orange rock?
     
  24. twylight One And Only

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2003
    Messages:
    26,099
    Likes Received:
    0
    *is veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrryy interested in this discussion*


    *takes notes*
     
  25. wiegeabo Omniposcient

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2002
    Messages:
    37,116
    Likes Received:
    7
    Who cares about Thing.

    Just imagine what Mr. Fantastic can do! :wow: :awesome:
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice
monitoring_string = "afb8e5d7348ab9e99f73cba908f10802"