MB and I discuss the finer points of the creative process:
Master Bruce says:Well, best advice I can come up with is this.
(approximately half an hour goes by)
Andrew says:...cliffhangers?
Master Bruce says:My internet went out.
Andrew says:ah
Andrew says:yeah, mine's been cutting in and out all day
Master Bruce says:I'm guessing you didn't get the last message.
Andrew says:sadly no
Master Bruce says:Go back to the comics. Read a couple of your favorite stories featuring Superman. Get inspired to write anything he's doing, even if it's taking a dump at a space gas station.
Andrew says:Gotcha. Taking a dump at a space gas station it is, then!
Master Bruce says:I've always sort of wondered what each superhero does on the toilet.
Master Bruce says:Do they force it out? Or are they silent about it? Do some of the toilets break?
Andrew says:the sad thing is I'm imagining Batman perched on the damn thing, like all those pictures of him on a gargoyle
Master Bruce says:Hahaha.
Master Bruce says:He probably has a roll of toilet paper in his utility belt.
Master Bruce says:Reinforced, bat-shaped squares...
Andrew says:This isn't the toilet I want, or even the toilet I deserve. But it's the toilet this city needs...
Master Bruce says:*grunts* No! The signal! But I'm not done!
Andrew says:Crime doesn't take potty-breaks
Master Bruce says:The Joker fed him a laxitive laced buritto
Master Bruce says:Just so he could go on a crime spree!
Andrew says:fortunately, he had a pair of Depends stashed in his utility belt
Master Bruce says:You know, it's never been clearer to me than now why superheroes wear briefs over their pants.
Andrew says:"The poo in my adult-diaper shifts, like the filth that is the criminal scum of this city."
Andrew says:"I need a change. Like this city needs a change."
Andrew says:"But I'll keep going, full load in my drawers or not. And I'll leave a skidmark all over the face of Gotham's underworld."
Andrew says:"Because I'm the goddamn Batman."
Master Bruce says:The sad thing is, I can see Miller writing all of this./
Andrew says:Are you kidding? That was pulled straight from Dark Knight Strikes Again
Master Bruce says:So the book knows what it itself is?
Andrew says:Miller was just so full of it himself that it just leaked out onto the page
Andrew says:....aaaand I just grossed myself out with that visual
Master Bruce says:What's that smell? It's DKSA!
Andrew says:this is so getting chat-logged
Master Bruce says:It seems every conversation we ever have goes in a weird direction.
Master Bruce says:Brilliant, but weird.
Andrew says:no kidding
Andrew says:we didn't even have to resort to bringing in Bizarro Alfred yet
Master Bruce says:I was tempted to, after the 'I need a change' line.
Andrew says:and now the visual I had is even worse
Andrew says:I'm just imagining Batman charging through the back alleys with a pair of sagging drawers, and Bizarro Alfred chasing after him with a fresh pair
Master Bruce says:He'd be running backwards
Master Bruce says:And the drawers would be inside out
Andrew says:more like a speedy moon-walk, really
Master Bruce says:Bizarro Alfred: Master of The Dance
Andrew says:Bizarro Alfred: You No Am Got SERVED!