Say What You Want about Schlosser85 4-23-12

[enterthemadness]

Welcome everyone! I'm your host, the man with the most,.....but not the most posts...ETM! Today is the first of what hopefully is many days of just good fun. Our first poster to be roasted as you can all read is...Schlosser85! I don't even know how you say that name in real life.

Now before the fun games, read the rules. Thread closes TBA on Thursday.


Rules:

1. No Cussing. Or as some of us say, no cursing. Now I know...this board is PG and in PG-rated Adventure Time they curse, but I doubt mods will stand for Son-of-a-blee-blob and what not. Since it clearly has the same meaning. and I refuse to pay off the mods like CartoonNetwork seems to do with the FCC.

2. No Threats.

3. Don't bring politics/religion into this.

4. Laugh people. This isn't meant to be serious. It's a roast, a PG roast. Not a attack thread. You can still sound off on the poster that is being roasted, just not PG-13, R, NC-17 style. This isn't a excuse of a thread to make posters cry. Here's a example of what may be posted...

You can post pictures of scumbag steve meme pics...but you must type a few words in the post as to why that poster is like that meme character.

What is not gonna be allowed:

Posting said meme pic or any meme pic and then typing up a few ''choice'' words to anger or make the poster cry. By ''Choice'' words see rule 1.


Updated List:
1. Schlosser85 Being Roasted.
2. SymbioticToxin 4-26-12
3. enterthemadness
4. Parker Wayne
5. Kane52630
6. WillardNation
7. SentinelMind
8. The Squirrel
9. bullets
10. JJJ's Ulcer

 

[Manic]

Whenever I say your username aloud, I occasionally slur my speech on purpose.

 

[Kane52630]

You...dirt, stuck up, sadistic....nah I'm not going there.

I agree with Manic, your username sounds really....dirty.

 

[Colossal Spoons]

I still think you look like Tom Welling but with vacant eyeballs

 

[DarkSovereignty]

your penmanship is atrocious.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

I like Schlosser, but this is supposed to be a roast, right? You look like Tom Welling?! Seriously that's the best people can do?

You possibly have the worst username on these boards. What exactly were you thinking? What the hell does "Schlosser" even mean? Is that the punch line to an Aristocrats joke?

You're gay and haven't been laid lately. We get it. Stop bringing it up every other day.

Heath Ledger's role as the Joker...... Meh, wasn't that great.

BOOM! That's a roast.

 

[Mrs. Sawyer]

His Elijah Wood looking eyes scare me with his cold stares.

And if I were you I probably would have punched my roommates already.

 

[Pink Ranger]

Lol, seriously, is this a roast? Let me see what I got.

A lot of people say that Schloss is gay, but that's simply not true. I mean, if he's gay, he would never have married Nicole Kidman.

Seriously Schloss, Lady GaGa called and asked you to tone it down a bit.

You're so gay, when I stand next to you, I'm just known as "the Chinese guy."

Remember that "It Gets Better" video you made? Geez, that was so bad, it made straight kids want to kill themselves.

And seriously, what's with your avatar? You've had the Joker up for so long, it's beginning to look like how Heath Ledger looks now.

 

[Prison Mike]

Schlosser85...you're gay. Boom. Roasted.

 

[Grillz]

Schlosser85...you're gay. Boom. Roasted.

Seriously? You "roast" someone based by their sexual orientation? Dude, you might get banned for doing that.

Spoiler

 

[Bruce Banner]

I was aimlessly moving through threads and was in one of the albums, clicked on a spoiler of you, saw your cold eyes, then said jesus.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

I'm not done yet! *downs scotch*

Wow, Heath Ledger's Joker as your avatar. Way to be original, buddy. Never seen that before! How come you fanboys never have Marlon Brando ala 'On the Waterfront' as your avatar? You know, a GOOD performance? Is it because he didn't OD on prescription pills? Man, your avatar is such a cliche. Shame the same can't be said about your username, which is the sound I make when I cough up phlegm.

Boom.

 

[Kane52630]

I'm not done yet! *downs scotch*

Wow, Heath Ledger's Joker as your avatar. Way to be original, buddy. Never seen that before! How come you fanboys never have Marlon Brando ala 'On the Waterfront' as your avatar? You know, a GOOD performance? Is it because he didn't OD on prescription pills? Man, your avatar is such a cliche. Shame the same can't be said about your username, which is the sound I make when I cough up phlegm.

Boom.

 

[Victarion]

Schlosser you are a dang troll.

 

[DarkSovereignty]

and you dress in the manner of a male prostitute.

 

[Kane52630]

I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!

 

[SuperFerret]

Schloss, you're a good guy as far as I'm concerned, but please stop posting pictures of your dead-eyed Elijah Wood impersonations. They scar my soul. Though I do find it funny that amid all the gay jokes about Frodo and Sam, there is actually a gay guy out there that looks like a hobbit. Also, your screenname sounds like a word for penis.

Let's see, we've got the requisite gay joke, the photo album thread joke and the name joke... Going well so far...

You're a hard guy to make fun of, probably because you're not that remarkable of a poster. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty fond of you. Well, "fond" isn't the right word. More like... "lukewarm". But anyway, you're always just there, skulking in the background, responding to posts in your way, by which I mean, in a completely average, nearly impossible to make fun of sort of way.

In fact, I'm sure that this whole post I'm writing is in no way funny, and that's your fault. I'm the goddamn SuperFerret, the so-called "Ultimate in Sarcasm" and I'm f***ing bombing here because you're just such a bland guy. This has stopped being a roast now, it's an intervention. Grow a distinct persona, please. I see you're in the Politics forum occasionally, which undoubtedly means that you have what it takes to be an ***hole. Bring that to Community more often.

Then, and only then, will you be free of the vendetta I plan to swear against you for making me unfunny. Damn you and your soulless eyes.

 

[Mrs. Sawyer]

Okay, let me say some good things about Schlosser. I love when he calls out trolls, and wanting to be in the politics threads constantly means he's a brave soul.

 

[The Original Bamfer]

Schloss used to really annoy me. I thought he was a drama-loving attention seeker. It seemed like every post he made was about this friend having forbidden sex with that friend. Then Renee had Carlos' baby even though Carlos was already involved in a civil union with Juan. Then Renee was mysteriously pushed down the steps immediately after having the baby and died. Then Juan killed Carlos' so he could have Renee's baby... it was always Juan's plan. But then the baby ran away that day and became a monk. Juan never saw his partner's son again. Rumor has it, Juan's still wandering the green grasses of Iceland looking for his Icelandic monk stolen son.



Anyway, I realized we all ***** about our problems here and I actually started reading Schloss's posts outside of the confession thread. Turns out, much to Juan's surprise, that Schloss is a very intelligent fellow who cares deeply for his friends. He's a very nice guy (unless you're stupid) and is a vital component to the Community these days.

 

[Schlosser85]

Awww, Bamf!

My frend Robbie just made me take a huge shot of tequila,so this is taking immense concentration and I feel like im floaying outside my body, but I'm glad you appreciate me.

 

[The Original Bamfer]

 

[bored]

Schlosser85, you are the dirty love child of Uwe Boll and Jeph Loeb. I am not actually familiar with you, but hey, it's a roast.

 

[Anubis]

You're almost as bad a person as Rachel Ray.

 

[bullets]

I like you Schlosser but not in a gay way. Also I don't know what the hell your username means.

 

[Hound55]

Your dead soulless eyes used to terrify me, but then I got to know you better and realised that it's just because you're a regular in the Politics forum...

P.S. After you drop the one ring in Mount Doom, I think you're totally in with Sam. Mysty's been shipping you for weeks, but unlike 95% of the time I'm actually inclined to agree with her...