Spidey's Wisecracks... SUGGESTIONS

[M.E.H.Z.E.B]

Seeing Venom for the first time:

Spider-Man: Hey! That's my suit!

 

[M.E.H.Z.E.B]

Venom "GRR, ...teeth show for the first time.... *drools*"

spidey: " Please dont eat me"

Nice.

 

[M.E.H.Z.E.B]

Sandman and Spider-Man realize they have to work together if they want to defeat Venom.

Spider-Man: How do we beat this guy?

Sandman: I don't know. Did you see those sharp fingers?

Spider-Man: Yeah, those would come in handy, if his breath doesn't kill us first. Damn! That guy needs a mint...

 

[webhead731]

LOL!!!!!

Spidey saying "damn" will make me laugh.



I don't think Spider-Man will make a wisecrack to Venom. Spider-Man would be too scared and serious to joke around.
Too bad because what you guys say is really funny.

 

[Shoemeister]

Spidey: If I had known that you'd be here Marko, I'd have brought my pail and shovel!

Made me chuckle!

 

[3dman27]

i thinmk upon seeing VENOM spidey will be too busy LOOSING HIS LUNCH to make a wisecrack

 

[Lantern Venom]

OK, I lifted this from the comics but it's one of my all-time favs:

In the process of busting a random thug, the terrified criminal asks:

"What are you??!!"

Spidey: "I'm Bat...eh..cough...cough...I'm Spider-Man!"

 

[Christopher Nolan]

OK, I lifted this from the comics but it's one of my all-time favs:

In the process of busting a random thug, the terrified criminal asks:

"What are you??!!"

Spidey: "I'm Bat...eh..cough...cough...I'm Spider-Man!"

Great

 

[Galactical]

Venom: You cannot defeat me! I have organic Webbing!! haha

spider-man: so do I! ha ha

Venom: what? when did this happen? I'm supposed to be so much your superior that i can even form my own webs with no need for mechanical devices. this is outrageous.

Spider-man: Well webshooters are too farfetched.

Venom: Hello! Alien!

Spider-man: Now that's a good movie.

Venom: Have you ever danced with the devil by the pale moonlight? You made me!

Spider-man: sandman made me first!

Venom: this is nuts

Spider-man: You wanna get nuts, Eric?

Venom: I want mila kunis to play black cat.

Spider-man: totally, she's hot.

Venom: yeah... butter-voice though yunno.

spider-man: ...yeah, I wish she had a mute switch.

 

[webhead731]

[Spider-Man sees Venom for the first time. His tongue is out and he's slobbering.]

Spider-Man: Wow. You can really give someone the tongue.

 

[M.E.H.Z.E.B]

Venom grabs Spider-Man with both his hands, and growls into his face.

Spider-Man: Don't take this personally. But I seriously think we should see other people.

 

[webhead731]

lol.


Or Venom grabs Spider-Man and gets up to his face and puts his tongue in front of it moving it around slowly.

Spider-Man: You gay or something?




Maybe.

 

[Eddie Brock]

After realizing Eddie is Venom: Wow, you're second best at everything. First, I do your job better. Then, I steal Gwen from you. Now, even my old suit chose you after me!

 

[M.E.H.Z.E.B]

After realizing Eddie is Venom: Wow, you're second best at everything. First, I do your job better. Then, I steal Gwen from you. Now, even my old suit chose you after me!

Could work.

 

[M.E.H.Z.E.B]

lol.


Or Venom grabs Spider-Man and gets up to his face and puts his tongue in front of it moving it around slowly.

Spider-Man: You gay or something?

Maybe.

Or, Venom grabs Spider-Man and gets up to his face and puts his tongue in front of it moving it around slowly.

Spider-Man: No offense to you, man. But I like women.

 

[webhead731]

That's better.^

 

[Agent Thermal]

Harry (dressed up in villain attire): "It's no use running, Peter!"

Spidey: "Don't you mean it's SNOW use running, Snowmobiler-Boy?"

Harry: "Just keep joking, Peter! It'll make it that much sweeter when I impale you with the very model glider you killed my FATHER with."

Spider: "Ooh, the Mortal Kombat reject can rhyme now! Peter and sweeter, ooh, that's nice."

Harry: "SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! You're DEAD, YOU HEAR ME!?"

Spider: "Sorry Harry, I left MY paintball gear back home, man. We'll have to play this some other time. Seriously though, I'll meet you at the woods out back by the Jenkins place tomorrow. I'll call up some of the guys, we'll bring beer and crackers; it'll be a hoot, trust me."

-----------------

I realize that Harry and Peter's conflict is serious business, but Harry's outfit nevertheless establishes an TANTALIZING basis for which to hurl insults and wisecracks.

 

[webhead731]

lol. That sounds like something straight out of Ultimate Spider-Man.

 

[sean61675]

Moot topic. I think it has been proven that the writers just can't capture the humor from the comics in the movies (or Tobey just isn't funny).

 

[Eddie Brock]

You know Eddie, i always thought that suit made me look fat, but somehow, you made it work.

 

[M.E.H.Z.E.B]

Moot topic. I think it has been proven that the writers just can't capture the humor from the comics in the movies (or Tobey just isn't funny).

Agreed.

 

[Galactical]

Also agreed.

but a wise crack anyway.

Spidey: Don't you know who I am? I'm the Amazing Spider-man, *****!

 

[XCharlieX]

I found the comic esque back and forth in spiderman 2 to be much better than in 1, so I hope they are good again at it.

 

[Galactical]

I can't remember spidey making any wisecracks in sm2. He did of course. But I just can't remember them. I faintly remember something about keeping change but that's it... he'll be more badass and witty once he has the symbiote and maybe that will trigger that old motor-mouth spidey to surface in this. There's plenty of chances for some really classic cracks in the sandman battles. Venom's cracks are going to be excellent though, probably better than spidey's. topher's just so much more humorous than maguire... Watch any ep of that 70s show. he does it effortlessly.

 

[Asteroid-Man]

*First time spiderman sees sandman *

Spider-Man: Finally a good villain that just wants to build sand castles!
*Gets hit with sandball*
Spider-Man: Or not..

*First time spiderman sees venom*
Spider-Man: A giant monster that wants to suck the life force out of me? Why couldnt their just be a giant teddy bear that wants to hug the life outta me?

*First time spiderman sees GG2*
Spider-Man: So harry whats up with the half mask couldnt afford the other half?

l litraly LOL there