Spidey's Wisecracks... SUGGESTIONS

The worst thing you can do to me is get in my shoe and bother me all day......

(SandMan hits Spidey with a huge sand fist )

.....or you could hit me really really hard
 
"Sandman? -- whoa... first the Green Goblin, then Doc Ock... and now this guy??? I must've really pissed someone off in my past life..." *sigh*
 
I think you guys need to ease off the homemade quips.......j/k.

I consulted a graphic novel collection of old Spidey comics (circa late 60s), and came up with these:

"The mighty Kraven, tackling a teenager! Next thing we know, you'll be proving your power by wrestling a parakeet!"

"I'm not denyin' that you're probably Mr. Big in the jungle....but this is the BIG TIME, and you're strictly Bush League here!"

Kraven: "I've defeated every foe I've every battled! I can't let YOU be the only one to mar my record!"
(leaps at Spidey and misses)
Spidey: "Well, you won't change the scoreboard THAT way, big man!"

Kraven: "I planned to defeat you without any weapons....but now....I've changed my mind!"
Spidey: "Good! Any change would be an improvement!"

"Here's a little stunt that may amuse you...try falling backwards while I've got my leg pressing against the back of your knee!" (while kicking Shocker in the face)

To Jameson: "Anyone who pays a DIME for that scandal sheet oughtta get eleven cents change."

To Kingpin: "Okay, skinhead...if you want me, here I am! Think you can manage to waddle over this far?"

There's a few for ya.....
 
Venom picks Spidey up, and growls into his face.

Spidey: "What the hell did you eat for lunch!?!"
 
Spidey to green goblin "halloween come early this year? sorry I would have brought candy, but this suit didn't come with pockets"

spidey to venom "Now theres a face only a mother could love. What did you get hit with a radio active ugly stick?"
 
Jason Martell said:
spidey to carnage. "I see you and Venom have the same dentist"

It would be better with... "the same dental plan". Still not great, but better.
 
Spidey is resting on a wall, and Sandman is on the ground --

Spider-Man : Do you know the worst thing about sand?

Sandman looks up.

Spider-Man: It can be blown away.

Spidey leaps from the wall onto Sandy.
 
Venom Grabs Spidey.
Spidey: Gene Simmons called, he wants his tongue back!
 
Spidey tells Venom, "WOW Grandma, what great big teeth you have".
 
Spidey tells DocOck, "Now that Rosey is gone, which hand do you jerk off with".
 
Venom'sDad said:
Spidey tells DocOck, "Now that Rosey is gone, which hand do you jerk off with".
now THATS a cheap shot
 
mj to spidey
"rey mysterio called he wants the 619 move back"
 
It's you whose out, out of your MIND!!!!!
 
Sandman: Prepare to die, webface!

Spider-Man: So Sandman, uh...I was with your mother last night and well...there was sand in her gulley hole....I don't wanna know what you've been up to...

Sandman: Arghhh!
 
"Sandman, huh? Okay, here's the drill: I'll knock you out and then I'll bring YOU a dream."
 
*Goblin (Harry) about to kill Spidey

Spider-Man: Harry! I'm your best friend!

Harry: Friend? Ha! MY 'friend' wouldn't steal the girl I love away from me; MY 'friend' wouldn't kill my father; MY 'friend' wouldn't dress up like a moron and try to ruin my life!!

Spider-man: ...Well, you're not getting 'Bestest Friend' award either, pal...

Harry: YOU DRESSED UP LIKE SPIDER-MAN AND RUINED MY LIFE! YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND!!

Spider-Man: ....That's just my way of saying 'I love you'...
 
Eddie loses his job, his home, his reputation, his health, and his wife!

later...... Spidey shows Venom a picture of his EB's wife with Flint.



Spidey tells Venom: "Looks like somebody's wife is having a Ball, playing in the Sand."




Later.... Venom bite & kills Sandman......... I guess Sandy want make it to SM4
 
Spidey tells Dr.Ock, "wow, you must spend a fortune on underarm deoderant."
 
While looking around mocking the GG, Spidey tells Green Goblin, "wait....... you hear something".
 

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