Stephen King's Epic "The Dark Tower" - Part 2

[Guts]

Nice

Obviously 'Go then, there are other worlds than these' would be good, but most people would be confused by it, I guess.

Or of course it should bloody well be 'The Man In Black Fled Across The Desert, And The Gunslinger Followed'.

Even something like 'To save the universe, he must protect the tower' or some such. At least that would actually be about the story. Instead they chose a strap line that has nothing to do with it. There is no war, and they aren't bringing anything to our world. It's so stupid

That was used for the other poster.

 

[FunkMiller]

That was used for the other poster.

Fair point so... they've basically gone backwards then.

 

[Victarion]

A good many trailer analyses I've seen think that the sallow things done up in black ninja-looking gear are slow mutants...any reason they'd be slow mutants and not low men? Here you can see some of the low men: they're the more human-looking things attacking the dude in black.

And here's another tagline that would be ideal for the final movie in the sequence:

"I am what ka, and the Tower, and the King have made me. We all are. We're caught." - Walter O'Dim, Wolves of the Calla.

 

[FunkMiller]

Just seen the trailer at the cinema, and the movie is a 12a in the UK. The certificate was badged to it. Which means PG13 in USA.

**** everyone involved in this p.o.s.

 

[Marvolo]

If you were expecting this to be rated R you were being foolish.

 

[FunkMiller]

If you were expecting this to be rated R you were being foolish.

I was foolish for expecting a movie adaptation of The Dark Tower to be the story of The Dark Tower? Sounds like you're the foolish one for just accepting when movie companies do a bad job.

 

[FunkMiller]

They clearly have little to no interest in promoting this movie. Here's a new trailer that's only a minute and a half, and shows little new content:

[YT]https://youtu.be/wZC5FoJ-cPU[/YT]

...and what's with the big yellow beam of energy being directed at the tower?

 

[StormC]

I just want the scene where Roland has sex with an invisible demon.

 

[FunkMiller]

I just want the scene where Roland has sex with an invisible demon.

Well, it's an incredibly important sequence in the whole scheme of the story, but there's every chance it won't be in there!

 

[Ipodman]

It's amazing how they wanna cram all the books into 1 movie.
They might have even given up on any sequel plans

 

[Joe Von Zombie]

Just watched the latest trailer... Still looks like ****.

 

[Rowsdower!]

They clearly have little to no interest in promoting this movie. Here's a new trailer that's only a minute and a half, and shows little new content:

[YT]https://youtu.be/wZC5FoJ-cPU[/YT]

...and what's with the big yellow beam of energy being directed at the tower?

I'm guessing that's the path of the beam. Because, you know, you can't trust audiences to understand what it is unless they show a bright yellow BEAM that's clearly visible at all times with signs carefully placed around it saying "CAUTION! DO NOT TOUCH THE BEAM!"

 

[Rowsdower!]

That was used for the other poster.

I think the tagline should be, "There are other ways to spend $12.50 than these..."

 

[The Guard]

I'm guessing that's the path of the beam. Because, you know, you can't trust audiences to understand what it is unless they show a bright yellow BEAM that's clearly visible at all times with signs carefully placed around it saying "CAUTION! DO NOT TOUCH THE BEAM!"

So clouds, animals, people and shadows moving along the path of the beam is just fine, as is having cyborg animal guardians for the beams (incredibly subtle things, clearly)...but actually seeing said beams or the energies of said beams or some kind of energy affecting said beams at some point is just too much?

 

[terry78]

When you mine Stephen King's books for movies and tv shows, at least attempt to do it right.

 

[The Guard]

When you mine Stephen King's books for movies and tv shows, at least attempt to do it right.

Whatever that means.

If "doing it right" means doing absolutely nothing different with the material, ever, then what's the point of adapting it in the first place?

I could see complaining endlessly if they didn't even BOTHER with the concept of the beams...

 

[Flint Marko]

All I needed to know this movie was going to bomb, other than those awful trailers, was the Guard's endorsement.

 

[DarthSkywalker]

 

[FunkMiller]

Whatever that means.

If "doing it right" means doing absolutely nothing different with the material, ever, then what's the point of adapting it in the first place?

I could see complaining endlessly if they didn't even BOTHER with the concept of the beams...

There's no issue with doing something different, but reducing a complex, multi-genre, multi-character epic, down to what appears to be a bog standard good vs bad guys science fantasy movie that's rated PG13? That's really not good enough.

I'm guessing that's the path of the beam. Because, you know, you can't trust audiences to understand what it is unless they show a bright yellow BEAM that's clearly visible at all times with signs carefully placed around it saying "CAUTION! DO NOT TOUCH THE BEAM!"

Don't think so. The beams are represented by those white spoke ones - which is as dumb, to be honest. I think the yellow beam is the tower being attacked by something - despite the fact that you can only destroy the tower by destroying the beams. Your central point is still a good one - audiences are too dumb to accept the idea of invisible beams of power that influence the environment, apparently.

 

[Rowsdower!]

So clouds, animals, people and shadows moving along the path of the beam is just fine, as is having cyborg animal guardians for the beams (incredibly subtle things, clearly)...but actually seeing said beams or the energies of said beams or some kind of energy affecting said beams at some point is just too much?

You're just going to keep on making up excuses for this movie until the end, aren't you? I guess I shouldn't be surprised; if I recall, you'll pretty much die on the sword defending BvS too.

 

[Rowsdower!]

When you mine Stephen King's books for movies and tv shows, at least attempt to do it right.

I think it may be a lost cause at this point. I mean, look at some of the recent TV adaptations of his work. Under the Dome was TERRIBLE. I can't believe I hung in there for the entire first season. And then there's The Mist. I really, REALLY tried to give it a shot, but it's just garbage. The acting is atrocious. Even Frances Conroy is terrible in it (and if that happens, you KNOW you're doing something wrong).

I still have hope for It. But if that movie sucks then I think it might be time to just give up hope that King adaptations are going to be any good in the near future.

 

[Gabe99]

Dark Tower TV Plans Would Include Idris Elba
Producer Akiva Goldsman reveals a planned Dark Tower television prequel would see Idris Elba reprise his role as the Gunslinger.

According to producer Akiva Goldsman, the intention is for Idris Elba to reprise his role as Roland Deschain on television.

 

[FunkMiller]

I think it may be a lost cause at this point. I mean, look at some of the recent TV adaptations of his work. Under the Dome was TERRIBLE. I can't believe I hung in there for the entire first season. And then there's The Mist. I really, REALLY tried to give it a shot, but it's just garbage. The acting is atrocious. Even Frances Conroy is terrible in it (and if that happens, you KNOW you're doing something wrong).

I still have hope for It. But if that movie sucks then I think it might be time to just give up hope that King adaptations are going to be any good in the near future.

What exactly is King up to with all of these adaptations? Does he just not give a rosy **** what happens to his work? Is he having zero oversight, and just banking the cash? If so, **** him. Authors like JK Rowling are very protective over their books to make sure the movies do her work Justice, so the fans are happy. It doesn't look like he cares one little bit.

 

[FunkMiller]

Dark Tower TV Plans Would Include Idris Elba
Producer Akiva Goldsman reveals a planned Dark Tower television prequel would see Idris Elba reprise his role as the Gunslinger.

If this goes ahead I'll get 19 tattooed on my ***hole.

 

[Marvolo]

I think it may be a lost cause at this point. I mean, look at some of the recent TV adaptations of his work. Under the Dome was TERRIBLE. I can't believe I hung in there for the entire first season. And then there's The Mist. I really, REALLY tried to give it a shot, but it's just garbage. The acting is atrocious. Even Frances Conroy is terrible in it (and if that happens, you KNOW you're doing something wrong).

I still have hope for It. But if that movie sucks then I think it might be time to just give up hope that King adaptations are going to be any good in the near future.

Edit: Misread your post.