Strangest conversation you've heard on public transportation

[Kaleb]

While I was living in South Florida I took a bus down to miami and at the back of me there were a group of girls ( must have been between the ages of 14-15 ) and they were discribing the empowerment they got through pleasuring their boyfriends orally.

 

[JayCaz]

Mother to daughter on bus about 3 months ago;

"stop calling your sister big ears, you'll give her a conscience"

duh.

 

[kane9321]

omw to Berkeley and some dude behind me and my friend was talking on his phone to some girl he had on the side begging her not to tell his wife about them. His phone was one of those cells that are turned up too high so you can kinda hear what the other person is saying even though he was trying to be sly or whatever. It was a long sad ordeal, she didnt know he was married, now she's preggo and found out he was married and was going to tell the wife, she was cussing up a storm. I hope she exposed his lying cheating butt.

wow

 

[Immortalfire]

In '05, my friend and I had been to our first Falcons game ever. Afterward, we hop aboard the jam packed MARTA train to head out of the city. On the train was the drunkest dude I've ever seen, singing Happy Birthday over and over.

"It's always someone's birthday!" *starts singing again*

I wasn't sure what to make of it.

 

[Spidey-Bat]

You should have said "Thank you. I'm glad someone remembered."

 

[jaguarr]

The NYC Subway always has the funnest weirdos. One time this guy got on just as the doors were closing on a standing-room only car. As soon as the doors were closed and we started moving (i.e. there was no escape), he started speaking VERY loudly: "My brothers and sisters! I'm glad we could have this time together today so I could tell you about OUR Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ! BLAH BLAH BLAH!" He kept going on and on, building up to his big pitch of soliciting people for change. No sooner did he mention money when a quarter came whizzing out of nowhere and cracked him right in the forehead. He reeled back, clutching his new wound and screamed out "And Jesus shall strike down the non-believers, blah, blah, blah!!!", pointing in the general direction of wherever the quarter came from. He received another quarter for his troubles. I looked down and the person throwing them was this HUGE black guy with a big smile on his face (the "preacher" was also black, btw, so no crying "hate crime, please). As soon as the preacher would start to talk, this guy would hurl a quarter. He had thrown about five quarters when finally he spoke to the preacher in this booming, deep voice "Shut up, you parasite! No one here wants to give you money because you found Jesus except for me, and I don't think you like how I'm sending it to you!" Then another voice spoke up, "That's not true! *I* want to give him money as well!" from this guy in running shorts and a tank-top with a fanny pack. He also started flinging loose change at the preacher. Pretty soon, damn near everyone on the car was flinging pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters at this guy. At first he tried to shield himself, then he tried to pick up some of the loose change, and then he pretty much assumed the fetal position on the floor, covering his head as best he could and screaming biblical damnation on everyone in the car. As soon as we hit the next stop, he bolted out of the car yelling something about how Jesus will punish the sinners. It was absolutely brutal and hilarious. My wife, whom I was dating at the time, and I were just sitting there with our jaws wide open. As soon as the preacher was off the car, everyone started cheering and high-fiving eachother. It was surreal. New Yorkers can be brutal.

jag

 

[Borat]

While I was living in South Florida I took a bus down to miami and at the back of me there were a group of girls ( must have been between the ages of 14-15 ) and they were discribing the empowerment they got through pleasuring their boyfriends orally.

Nice.

 

[StrainedEyes]

The NYC Subway always has the funnest weirdos. One time this guy got on just as the doors were closing on a standing-room only car. As soon as the doors were closed and we started moving (i.e. there was no escape), he started speaking VERY loudly: "My brothers and sisters! I'm glad we could have this time together today so I could tell you about OUR Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ! BLAH BLAH BLAH!" He kept going on and on, building up to his big pitch of soliciting people for change. No sooner did he mention money when a quarter came whizzing out of nowhere and cracked him right in the forehead. He reeled back, clutching his new wound and screamed out "And Jesus shall strike down the non-believers, blah, blah, blah!!!", pointing in the general direction of wherever the quarter came from. He received another quarter for his troubles. I looked down and the person throwing them was this HUGE black guy with a big smile on his face (the "preacher" was also black, btw, so no crying "hate crime, please). As soon as the preacher would start to talk, this guy would hurl a quarter. He had thrown about five quarters when finally he spoke to the preacher in this booming, deep voice "Shut up, you parasite! No one here wants to give you money because you found Jesus except for me, and I don't think you like how I'm sending it to you!" Then another voice spoke up, "That's not true! *I* want to give him money as well!" from this guy in running shorts and a tank-top with a fanny pack. He also started flinging loose change at the preacher. Pretty soon, damn near everyone on the car was flinging pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters at this guy. At first he tried to shield himself, then he tried to pick up some of the loose change, and then he pretty much assumed the fetal position on the floor, covering his head as best he could and screaming biblical damnation on everyone in the car. As soon as we hit the next stop, he bolted out of the car yelling something about how Jesus will punish the sinners. It was absolutely brutal and hilarious. My wife, whom I was dating at the time, and I were just sitting there with our jaws wide open. As soon as the preacher was off the car, everyone started cheering and high-fiving eachother. It was surreal. New Yorkers can be brutal.

jag

I somehow always get the subway cars with the acappella group singing about what a great day it is.

 

[zahanbil]

New Yorkers can be brutal.

jag

Jesus Christ, that's harsh

 

[Immortalfire]

While I was living in South Florida I took a bus down to miami and at the back of me there were a group of girls ( must have been between the ages of 14-15 ) and they were discribing the empowerment they got through pleasuring their boyfriends orally.

 

[C.F. Kane]

Once on a metro, I saw some crazy guy who said he was a veteran started an argument with a college-age couple because they were "talking loudly". They were talking at a fairly normal volume, but he didn't care. The male half of the couple just calmly said, "Sir, this is a public place and I can talk as loudly as I want." Then he just got childish and said, "OH YEAH? DO YOU WANT TO HEAR ME TALK LOUD?" It was freaky at the time, but funny in retrospect.

 

[darkseid26]

not really public transportation, but once while walking the streets of Austin with friend we looked in front of us to see some old Nam veteran rolling a baby carriage with an american flag on top talking to himself (with nothing in the carriage), about 20 feet in front of us. well when he was about 3 feet in front of us he said "i scared charlie and my troops were proud" and all this other mumbo jumbo. i felt bad for the guy but was still laughing my butt off with ,y pall.

war can turn a man crazy.

 

[Dew k. Mosi]

I was followed over the bridge by my house and on to the subway by a guy who was talking to himself and saying, "oh, 666 LOOKS good until you know it's the devil's number. But you, you are my teacher, and I am going to get a gun and kill you, come to your house and kill you, because that's what you taught me, oh yes, teacher, I know, I know." I switched cars and sat by the cops who were on the train to check tickets and the guy took off.

 

[Prison Mike]

I was followed over the bridge by my house and on to the subway by a guy who was talking to himself and saying, "oh, 666 LOOKS good until you know it's the devil's number. But you, you are my teacher, and I am going to get a gun and kill you, come to your house and kill you, because that's what you taught me, oh yes, teacher, I know, I know." I switched cars and sat by the cops who were on the train to check tickets and the guy took off.

scary

 

[FreeRadical]

Was on the bus returning from college a few years ago, and these two girls were having an interesting conversation....

'Did you have sex last night?'
'Yeah, it was good'

etc etc

This went on for ages, until one of them left the bus, but before she left she said to her friend...

'Don't forget the condoms!'

 

[spideyboy_1111]

1) how's that working out for you?
2) you never said she was old
3) old people are fun... they have the best stories

1) ummm... ? its who i am, it's what i know, it works fine?
2)i said she was a woman and implied she was crazy
3) yes... but crazy ones are even better

 

[Anubis Raptor]

I was followed over the bridge by my house and on to the subway by a guy who was talking to himself and saying, "oh, 666 LOOKS good until you know it's the devil's number. But you, you are my teacher, and I am going to get a gun and kill you, come to your house and kill you, because that's what you taught me, oh yes, teacher, I know, I know." I switched cars and sat by the cops who were on the train to check tickets and the guy took off.

 

[Logan's Runt]

I sat on a greyhound for 8 hours next to a guy who was on his cell phone several times saying things such as 'Janie, they pulled me off the bus in KC asking all sorts of questions!' 'The feds know what we did, don't go to Sam's house. They'll be there. Just stay where you are!' 'I don't care what he did, I know what he did! We have to get out of this now!' I tried really hard to pretend that my book was really interesting and I heard nothing.

 

[Rando Aces]

I sat on a greyhound for 8 hours next to a guy who was on his cell phone several times saying things such as 'Janie, they pulled me off the bus in KC asking all sorts of questions!' 'The feds know what we did, don't go to Sam's house. They'll be there. Just stay where you are!' 'I don't care what he did, I know what he did! We have to get out of this now!' I tried really hard to pretend that my book was really interesting and I heard nothing.

ill just say it before anyone else. greyhound bus, stab, murderer. still tahts ****ed up.

 

[C.F. Kane]

This other time I was in The Netherlands (my family lives there), and I overheard these American high school kids (there was an American international school in my town) who apparently didn't know that there were other people in the country who spoke English fluently.

So, they started this conversation about some party they were at where people were peeing on each other.