Stupid People Doing Stupid Things Thread

[Teelie]

Good the child fully recovered. It was unclear if the baby had died in there. 16 years sounds more reasonable now. Still not as long as he should be though.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Man Arrested for Assaulting Girlfriend With Easter Eggs

A man is charged with aggravated assault against his girlfriend after an Easter egg decorating party went horribly awry Sunday, leaving the woman with a black eye and the man under arrest after attacking cops with a sword.

When his girlfriend accused him of cheating, Aaron Goempel, a 27-year-old Pittsburgh resident, allegedly attacked her by throwing the hardboiled Easter eggs they were dyeing together. When police arrived, the victim's eye was red and swollen, and Goempel had locked himself in a bedroom with "a makeshift barricade."

As police pushed their way into the room, he reached for a sword from his knife-and-sword collection (why do these guys always seem to keep swords around?) and tried to stab officers. He only succeeded in yelling racist slurs and kicking one cop in the groin, the Pittsburgh Tribune reports.

Goempel can add aggravated assault to his long list of pending charges. He also awaits trial for separate incidents of harassment, prowling, assault, and traffic violations, and his record includes previous convictions for public drunkenness.

http://triblive.com/news/adminpage/5978694-74/police-goempel-officers#axzz2zL6JSBns

Why does it seem like every crazy white guy has a sword collection?

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

High School Student Suspended for Asking Miss America to Prom

A high school senior has been suspended for 3 days after asking the reigning Miss America to prom at an assembly last Thursday.

Nina Davuluri was at Central York (Pa.) High School to discuss the importance of science, technology, and math studies. 18-year-old Patrick Farves used his question to present her with a flower and ask if she'd go to prom with him.

School officials apparently knew about the plan, and had warned Farves not to go ahead with it. He received a 3-day suspension for defying them and "disrupting" the assembly.

But Miss America is on his side. Although she can't be his prom date due to scheduling conflicts, Davuluri wrote on the official Miss America Facebook page that she had written to the school asking them to reconsider Farves' suspension.

Meanwhile, Farves appeared on the Today Show this morning. (Hey, it's not like he had to be in class.)

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20808718,00.html

While it was stupid of him to do it after they told him not to, I would have done the same thing. Pretty stupid of the school to suspend him for a dumb question though

 

[KevanG]

So they told him not to, now he has some free time, became famous for a bit and asked Miss America to prom? Good deal for him. The school just looks like idiots.

 

[Teelie]

That's a non-news event if I ever read one.

 

[Ant-manic]

Man Arrested for Assaulting Girlfriend With Easter Eggs





http://triblive.com/news/adminpage/5978694-74/police-goempel-officers#axzz2zL6JSBns

Why does it seem like every crazy white guy has a sword collection?

i blame Deadpool.

 

[KevanG]

I blame Leifeld.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Alabama Republican Gets Right to the Point With This Gun Parade Float

Are you from Talladega? Do you like guns? But I repeat myself. The point is: Your conservative state representative likes guns. A lot. He's a big fan of big guns. With big barbecue smokers inside of them. Now, who are you voting for in November?

Via Alabama Statehouse reporter Jim Stinson, here's the big gun Hurst is rolling out in his campaign for re-election to the state Legislature:

The District 35 Republican from Talladega gets his message across at parades in a very unmistakable way: He uses a giant revolver as a parade float. (And a barbecue. The gun is actually not a balloon but a large barbecue shaped like a handgun.)
"A picture of the large revolver has drawn notice on social media," Stinson writes, linking to this tweet by a local attorney.

Hurst said the parade float has two purposes: For one, it reminds people Hurst is a small business owner. He owns a fencing company and also Haynes Street Pawn and Gun Shop. He sells guns with his business partner.

And two, the gun-shaped barbecue, often attached to his truck, reminds people he supports gun rights. Hurst pushed for and won a change in Alabama law that no longer requires homeowners to flee from an intruder. Now Alabamians can shoot an intruder, a right often referred to as the "castle" doctrine.
Hurst, a 16-year veteran of the Legislature who flipped from being a Democrat to a Republican in 2010, boasts a winning, uh, grimace and has impeccable academic credentials: he graduated from high school! But most important, he's standing up for gun rights at a time of unparalleled peril for gun owners, who have been victimized by the constant expansion of their rights under anti-gun Imperial Overlord Obama.

This will likely stand him in good stead with voters heading into a June primary against Steve Dean, a local GOP leader who has tea party backing and a college degree. Dean says he loves the Second Amendment. But hey, where's his trailer-mounted Saturday Night Special? Real Alabamians deserve real results. And parade floats. With a slab of ribs.

http://blog.al.com/wire/2014/04/alabama_rep_steve_hurst_uses_h.html#incart_river

'Murica! **** YEAH! STOP THE MUSLIM SOCIALIST OBAMA FROM TAKIN' OUR GUNS!!!

 

[webhead9707]

Man Arrested for Assaulting Girlfriend With Easter Eggs

http://triblive.com/news/adminpage/5978694-74/police-goempel-officers#axzz2zL6JSBns

Why does it seem like every crazy white guy has a sword collection?

That's actually pretty fantastic imo.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Man on Trial for Murder Worried "Murder" Tattoo Might Hurt His Case

A Kansas man facing first-degree murder charges is trying to convince the government to let him do something about his giant "MURDER" neck tattoo before the trial begins.

The first-degree murder case against Jeffrey Chapman is scheduled to begin next week. Prosecutors say Chapman killed a man in 2011, leaving the body behind in a roadside ditch for hunters to discover.

According to the AP, Chapman's defense attorney is now seeking to have the state bring in a tattoo artist to obscure or remove the giant mirror-image "MURDER" tag. Prosecutors say no, pointing to the fact that Kansas tattoo artists can only work in licensed facilities, a list that does not include jail cells.

Chapman claims the tattoo is irrelevant to the state's case and unduly prejudicial to jurors; prosecutors seem to agree, suggesting he wear a turtleneck or a bandage. The teardrop tattoo, however, everyone seems to be cool with.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/cri...-neck-prepares-murder-trial-article-1.1765206

Who could have ever imagined that a giant neck tattoo that says MURDER would ever come back to bite you in the ass?

 

[KevanG]

Teardrop tattoo and a giant murder one on your neck? He looks like a fine upstanding citizen. What's he worried about?

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Cardiologist Sued by Strip Club Over $135,000 in Unpaid Bills

The Manhattan Supreme Court will hear the case of a strip club that claims a cardiologist owes $135,000 in bills for four very expensive visits. The doctor says he was drugged by club employees and never authorized the charges.

The West Side location of Scores charges that Zyad Kivaris Younan, a doctor at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital, "voluntarily came to plaintiff's place of business and requested that plaintiff provide him with food, beverages and services."

He compensated them for those services with his American Express card, which the club accepts as payment for its $250 meals, $1,000 bottles of champagne, and tips for dancers. The club's manager says huge tabs aren't unusual.

What is unusual is that Younan contested the charges, claiming that on each of the four nights in question, he had either been drugged by the Scores staff or hadn't been at the club at all.

The club counters that it has video of Younan on all four occasions, and that he was never drugged.

"He was coherent until he saw the bill — or his wife saw the bill," manager Stephen Hyman told the New York Daily News.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nat...es-strip-club-article-1.1764962#ixzz2zdqtEeWk

Something tells me this guy isn't going to win this case

 

[KevanG]

What are you talking about? I'm sure there's no precedence for anything like this. He's sure to win.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Creationists Say Smithsonian Is Pushing "Religion of Naturalism"

Young-Earth creationist Ken Ham—whose non-profit organization has benefited from millions of dollars in subsidies and tax breaks—says that the Smithsonian's recent acquisition of a nearly complete T-Rex fossil is an egregious use of American tax dollars to fund "the religion of naturalism."

The T-Rex—delivered to Washington, D.C. last week—was discovered in 1988 by a Montana rancher near Fort Peck Reservoir and is owned by the Army Corps of Engineers. Thomas P. Bostick, the Army Corps commander who signed off on a 50-year loan of the fossil to the Natural History Museum, declared it to be "a wonderful day for the nation."

But, for Ken Ham, it's a day of reckoning:

This T. Rex is very complete. The museum director, Kirk Johnson, believes the new dinosaur skeleton will draw many children to the National Museum of Natural History, saying, "Dinosaurs are the gateway drug to science for kids."

Of course, secularists know that children love dinosaurs, and they use dinosaurs to indoctrinate kids into evolutionary ideas. "The Nation's T. Rex" will be a centerpiece for the Smithsonian—a museum funded by our tax dollars. In reality, then, the government is imposing the religion of evolution and millions of years on children visiting the Smithsonian, while also claiming a supposed separation of church and state! Our tax dollars are funding the religion of naturalism (atheism) and its evolutionary story to be exhibited in the Smithsonian in the nation's capital!
Perhaps this is also a case of museum-envy. Despite receiving a $43 million tax rebate from the state of Kentucky—as well as a 75 percent property tax discount—Ham is still unable to raise enough funds to build his "Ark Encounter" theme park.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local...8c39aa-c412-11e3-b195-dd0c1174052c_story.html

This freaking idiot again

 

[Marvolo]

Creationists Say Smithsonian Is Pushing "Religion of Naturalism"

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local...8c39aa-c412-11e3-b195-dd0c1174052c_story.html

This freaking idiot again

If I ever meet this man, I will punch him in the dick.

 

[KevanG]

"Dinosaurs are the gateway drug to science for kids."

And that's why they're amazing. They're awesome and everybody loves dinosaurs. Ken can go... do things to himself if he doesn't like it.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Tech CEO Dodges Felony Charge Despite Horrifying Abuse Video

RadiumOne CEO Gurbaksh "G" Chahal pled guilty to two misdemeanors for domestic violence and battery last week. The ad-tech executive faced 45 felony charges based on security footage from his San Francisco penthouse apartment, which allegedly showed him hitting and kicking his girlfriend 117 times in half an hour.

Instead of jail time Chahal, who once shared a stage with Oprah, cut a deal for three years probation, 52 weeks in a domestic violence training program, and 25 hours of community service.

You wouldn't know this from recent RadiumOne headlines, however.

His online advertising network plans to raise $100 million from its IPO and just partnered with Condé Nast. Meanwhile Marcom, an international marketing conference that counts the Interactive Advertising Bureau (IAB) as a partner, sent out a press release touting Chahal as a featured speaker on "dark social."

These promising career developments occurred well after Chalal's arrest in August. At the time, the prosecution thought the video handed them an "airtight" conviction, but the San Francisco Chronicle implies that the serial entrepreneur, who sold his previous company to Yahoo for $300 million, bought his way out:

But after Chahal posted $1 million bail and hired attorney James Lassart, the case against him unraveled.

First up, the girlfriend refused to cooperate with the investigation or testify, having hired famed criminal attorney and CNN commentator Mark Geragos to represent her. (Do we hear "big-bucks settlement for not talking"? Geragos didn't return our call, and Lassart's camp is staying tight-lipped.)

But perhaps the biggest blow came when Judge Brendan Conroy ruled that surveillance video from Chahal's bedroom - which reportedly captured the 1 1/2-hour attack - had been seized unlawfully by police. The cops claim they took the video without waiting for a warrant because they feared it might get erased, but the judge didn't buy it.
SFCitizen faults the police and the judge for getting such damning evidence thrown out. Regardless of how Chahal squirmed out of 45 felony convictions, his get out of jail free card looks more like a carte blanche.

Marcom14 still lists Chahal as a speaker on their agenda. . A representative for the conference told Valleywag they were "not aware of this facts [sic]" and requested more information. In addition to IAB, one of the partners is a FEMMEFAB, a collection of websites targeted at women.

I also reached out to RadiumOne to see if Chalal's role at the company would change in light of the guilty plea. He is listed as founder, chairman, and CEO above a lengthy bio noting his TV appearances and best-selling book on RadiumOne's website. The advertising network has yet to submit any IPO filings to the SEC.

According to the Chronicle, no felony convictions mean Chalal "will be allowed to stay on the board." Sam "Master of Disaster" Sifton, told the San Francisco Business Times:

"This now allows Gurbaksh and RadiumOne to move forward with their IPO, which is further down the line," said Sam Singer, a well known public relations consultant. "It was an important conclusion to what was a difficult situation, and all sides are to be commended in the reasonable conclusion of this case."
Chalal is moving forward with gusto. Before, during, and after he pled guilty, he's been dispensing inane executive advice, such as "15 Things Leaders Never Do," like its going out of style. (Sadly, it is not.)

Search Twitter for his handle and the first thing that pops up are people quoting his platitudes—seemingly unaware of the guilty plea, probably because it was covered less than RadiumOne's plans to IPO.

http://m.bizjournals.com/sanfrancis...l-gurbaksh-g-chahal-pleads-guilty-to-two.html

Seriously, is there anything money can't do? No way some random guy from a trailer park could have beat these charges

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

A Call of Duty Loser Called the SWAT Team on His Opponent

A SWAT team descended on a Long Island home Tuesday in response to a Skype call claiming, "I just killed my mother and I might shoot more people." But the person making the call hadn't killed anyone—he was just a hoaxster who was salty about a teenager beating him at Call of Duty.

After Rafael Castillo, 17, won an online match, his angry opponent "swatted" him, reporting a fake multiple murder at Castillo's address so police would surround the place.

The prank worked. In a two-hour standoff, more than 60 officers, including a special operations team, surrounded the house with weapons drawn. Helicopters took up positions overhead.

Castillo's mother and brother came outside, assuring police they were alive, but officers still needed Rafael—the person they believed made the threats—to come out. Rafael, however, was completely oblivious to all of this. He was still playing the game and had his headphones on.

It took 20 minutes to get him outside, at which point police entered the house and confirmed the report was fake.

Police are now trying to track down Rafael's opponent, who they suspect is "probably just an evil little kid."

http://nypost.com/2014/04/22/call-of-duty-loser-calls-in-swat-team-hoax-on-kid-who-beat-him/

Good luck trying to find the kid that did it. That's kind of the whole point of swatting, when you do it right there is basically no way of tracing you

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

News Station Airs In-Depth Coverage of Local Hero's Camel Toe

[YT]c_4tim5iHQE[/YT]

After six Houston teens broke into a house, using a basketball to break a window, local news station KPRC aired an interview with the heroic neighbor who saw them and called police. The witness wanted to remain anonymous, so the station pointed the camera away from her face—and now she's probably wishing they hadn't.

At least 10 full seconds of the woman's crotch made it to air, despite the fact that the station obviously had plenty of footage of the neighborhood that she could have talked over.

She wasn't exactly asking to be put into witness protection. Not spoon-feeding video of an interview subject's labia to radio hosts/camel toe fetishists Opie and Anthony is just basic courtesy.

http://www.click2houston.com/news/d...-in-home-breakin-in-nw-harris-county/25591682

Haha no way these news people didn't know what they were broadcasting. They had to film that? I know blurring faces is expensive but you couldn't have done the thing where you just turn the lights down and silhouette the person?

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Justin Bieber Apologizes for Tribute to Japanese War Criminals

After a minor crime spree in the States, eternal teen Justin Drew Bieber is trying to stay out of trouble these days. Yesterday, he visited a shrine in Tokyo, a safe place where nothing could go wrong. Except inflaming decades-old tensions between China and Japan.

Bieber posted an Instagram photo from the Yasukuni Shrine, which he believed to be a place of prayer. It's actually a controversial tribute to Japan's World War II soldiers—or, from the point of view of China and South Korea, war criminals who routinely tortured prisoners. The shrine made the news when Prime Minister Shinzo Abe visited it last December, provoking outrage from China and South Korea and concern from the U.S.

Bieber's timing was unfortunate, as well. Just yesterday, Japanese ministers visited the controversial shrine again, and Abe sent an offering (though he chose not to risk attending in person again).

After tons of negative comments on his Instagram, Bieber deleted the photo to avoid getting involved in a land war in Asia. It had been liked 660,000 times.

The Biebs issued the following apology:

"While in Japan I asked my driver to pull over for which I saw a beautiful shrine. I was mislead to think the Shrines were only a place of prayer. To anyone I have offended I am extremely sorry. I love you China and I love you Japan."
Even when he's not drag racing, house-egging, or writing racist graffiti, Bieber can't catch a break.

http://www.theguardian.com/world/20...ologises-yasukuni-war-shrine-tokyo-photograph

Alright I can't put all the blame on the Biebs for this one, but still man your rich. He should have people around him familiar with the country he is visiting so things like this don't happen

 

[Teelie]

A Call of Duty Loser Called the SWAT Team on His Opponent

Spoiler

http://nypost.com/2014/04/22/call-of-duty-loser-calls-in-swat-team-hoax-on-kid-who-beat-him/

Good luck trying to find the kid that did it. That's kind of the whole point of swatting, when you do it right there is basically no way of tracing you

And thanks to the military-style tactics of police in increasingly common and domestic cases where it isn't warranted, you too can feel the joy of being swatted.

On top of that these instances show just how quick the police are to believe any claim made by some anonymous ******* and the lack of security in preventing faking or spoofing of emergency calls.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Jail-Bound Teen Busted Trying to Smuggle Loaded Gun in Vagina

As 19-year-old Dallas Archer was being booked into the Kingsport, Tenn. jail on Monday, corrections officers allegedly discovered something unusual hidden in her vagina: a loaded revolver.

The Smoking Gun reports Archer was arrested Monday on charges of driving with a suspended license and taken to the Kingsport jail, where a female corrections officer performed a standard search. According to police, sometime during the procedure the C.O. found an "unidentified item" hidden in Archer's crotch. After a more involved search in a bathroom, the C.O. discovered the "North American Arms 22 LR revolver (loaded) which Ms. Dallas had concealed in her vagina," as the police report put it.

The four-inch-long pistol was stolen last year from a car belonging to 70-year-old John Souther.

When told by the Smoking Gun where his gun was found, Souther responded, "Oh, Gosh," and later added that he would have to give the "little fellow" a "bath in bleach."

Archer was charged with gun possession and introducing contraband into a penal facility, and was later released on $6,000 bond.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/loaded-gun-hidden-in-vagina-576432

How do you even...? I mean really. Freaking kids these days man

 

[Teelie]

She's not the first. Or second. At least it didn't discharge in there. I recall a story of this happening although I can't find the link.

 

[KevanG]

I'd rather you not Teelie. As it is I keep getting flashbacks to the Texas Chainsaw movie.

 

[Teelie]

Lucky for you I didn't subsitute the other story I could find that did involve a saw. And a sex toy. And poor judgement on the part of two adults. No one died in it and as far as I know there were no permanant injuries but it was stupid.