Superman Returns Superman Returns caption thread returns!

[Panthro]

SUPERMAN: "Are you Ladiesman217?!"

 

[Panthro]

BATMAN: "Gagck... c-c'mon Clark, this isn't funny anymore... breh... can't... breath..."

 

[Panthro]

SUPERMAN: "There is an idea that is Superman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. And although you can shake my hand and feel warm flesh gripping your hand, and you may even think our lifestyles are compatible, I simply am not there..."

SUPERMAN: "Tom Rothman, there's no escaping us now."

GREEN LANTERN: "You're not getting by us, Rothman! We will avenge the way Cyclops & Deadpool & the Invisible Woman & Daredevil & Elektra were all mistreated!"
SUPERMAN: "Steady Hal. This is a much greater evil we confront this day."
GREEN LANTERN: "We'll confront it, and fight it to the bitter end!"
SUPERMAN: "That's the spirit."

 

[ultimatefan]

Cool stuff Panthro!

 

[ultimatefan]

SUPERMAN: Give me your tickets to see Avatar in IMAX 3-D!!
BATMAN: NEVER!!

SUPERMAN: For the last time, I did use a condom, it just broke!! It happens!!
BATMAN: W-whatever helps you to sleep at night, Clark...

 

[kedrell]

Batman: "That's not how you do the Vulcan neck pinch, dipwad!"

 

[Panthro]

Funny stuff guys.

Batman: "That's not how you do the Vulcan neck pinch, dipwad!"

SUPERMAN: "It's hurting you though, that's all that matters."

BATMAN: "Clark, who are those guys out there?"

SUPERMAN: "Oh them? They're the entertainment for Lois's bachelorette party."
BATMAN: "I see..."

 

[Panthro]

Warner Brothers circa 1986 -

SUPERMAN: "Sorry little Jeremy, but we're phasing out the bastard child storyline. We just don't think modern audiences would be all that interested in seeing me, the granddaddy of all superheroes, have a bastard child. Not good for my image."

SUPERMAN: "So it is true that Katie Holmes turned down the Dark Knight because she didn't like how the Rachel Dawes character got killed?"
BATMAN: "Does it really matter Clark? Her loss was Maggie's gain and it made for a better film overall."

 

[Panthro]

SUPERMAN: "Damn Jimmy, you need to lay off the 'roids."

 

[ultimatefan]

Love the bachelorette party one, the bastard kid one and the roids one!

 

[ultimatefan]

SUPERMAN: I can´t understand it, Bruce! Why can´t people enjoy a wholesome hero who goes out to save the world and does so with style and fireworks?
BATMAN: They have Bono now.
SUPERMAN: Oh.

 

[ultimatefan]

SUPERMAN: Thought you´d catch me by surprise, huh? Newsflash for you, I got full eyes now!

 

[Panthro]

SUPERMAN: Thought you´d catch me by surprise, huh? Newsflash for you, I got full eyes now!

 

[ultimatefan]

Thanks!

 

[ultimatefan]

SUPERMAN: So I hear your new movie´s script is in trouble and production has been postponed.
SPIDER-MAN: Yep.
SUPES: Apparently, Raimi and the studio can´t agree on a villain.
SPIDEY: That is correct.
SUPES: There may be casting conflicts as well.
SPIDEY (pauses for a sec): You´re enjoying the hell outta this, aren´t you?
SUPES: Of course I am.

 

[ultimatefan]

OLSEN: Something´s poking me!
SUPERMAN (whispers): It´s all right, it´s all right, it´s all right... It´s just my penis.

 

[Panthro]

Funny stuff UF. Love Superman giving Spidey a hard time.

 

[ultimatefan]

Thanks!

 

[ultimatefan]

SPIDER-MAN: Admit it, you made Sam Raimi fight with the studio to delay my fourth movie as revenge for the endless troubles of your own franchise!!
SUPES: And I thought Bruce was the paranoid one...

 

[Panthro]

SPIDER-MAN: Admit it, you made Sam Raimi fight with the studio to delay my fourth movie as revenge for the endless troubles of your own franchise!!
SUPES: And I thought Bruce was the paranoid one...

 

[Panthro]

SUPERMAN: "I don't get it Bruce. Rogue was once arguably the sexiest female character in the X-Men titles, but the movies completely desexualized her and as a result her sex appeal in the comics was neutered to the point of being non-existent. I mean have you seen her lately? She looks nothing like the babe she was in the 1990s. Meanwhile, the Fantastic Four movies try to sex up Sue Storm and failed miserably."
BATMAN: "Clark, I may be the world's greatest detective, but I don't pretend to understand the practices at Fox."

 

[ultimatefan]

Thanks and hehehehehehe

 

[ultimatefan]

SUPERMAN: So you can see how Richard Simmons´ attempt to create a superhero group didn´t quite catch on.
BATMAN:Indeed.

 

[ultimatefan]

SPIDER-MAN: Why is that man about to jump?
SUPERMAN: About a decade ago, he bet all his money that Titanic was going to be a huge flop. His wife left him, his family forsaked him, he spent years in the gutter as a junkie, than going from shelter to shelter, then joined a gang, went to prison, got raped, beat up and stabbed, then when he finally got back on his feet, he did exactly the same thing with Avatar!
SPIDEY: Poor bastard.
SUPES: Yep.
SPIDEY: Shouldn´t we save him?
SUPES: Why bother?

 

[Panthro]

SPIDER-MAN: Why is that man about to jump?
SUPERMAN: About a decade ago, he bet all his money that Titanic was going to be a huge flop. His wife left him, his family forsaked him, he spent years in the gutter as a junkie, than going from shelter to shelter, then joined a gang, went to prison, got raped, beat up and stabbed, then when he finally got back on his feet, he did exactly the same thing with Avatar!
SPIDEY: Poor bastard.
SUPES: Yep.
SPIDEY: Shouldn´t we save him?
SUPES: Why bother?

The Richard Simmons gag is funny too.