Televangelist: "*********ing Men Will Have Pregnant Hands in the Afterlife"

[Sawyer]

LINK

*looks down at right hand*

Oh Gawd....

 

[KalMart]

And they'll be naming their first kid after you.

What if you wear a rubber…..glove……..though?

 

[zeroapoc]

What about all the hundreds of tissues I've known?

 

[Great Cthulhu]

LINK

*looks down at right hand*

Oh Gawd....

Oh no... I have wiped civilizations off my chest with a gray gym sock! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!

 

[Sawyer]

I like how the hyper-religious sex-shamers have burned through so many reasons to wag their fingers at people who have sex out of wedlock/without the sole intention of making babies, that it's now like... be careful, you'll get pregnant with hand babies!!!!

 

[CGHulk]

Edit.

 

[LizardMan07]

I'm not sure I can picture what exactly a hand baby looks like

Please help

 

[CGHulk]

I'm not sure I can picture what exactly a hand baby looks like

Please help

Each hand will look like water filled balloons where fingers used to be. In those balloons will be fetuses where you can feel their growing unborn bodies moving around in them. Around the ninth month you will have to cut open your hands to deliver them. You will have to be careful when cutting the skin, you don't want to kill the babies, because God doesn't condone killing newborns. Don't leave them in past the ninth month or they will die, and don't cut them out to soon that's an abortion! God doesn't condone abortions!

The cycle will be an on going thing that never stops for all eternity!

 

[Thundercrack85]

Well, we can't all have 19 kids.

 

[CGHulk]

Edit.

 

[Marvolo]

Wear a hand condom:

Or you'll end up with a pregnant hand.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Will it still happen if I sit on my hand until it goes numb? Aka the stranger

 

[Kane52630]

 

[Schlosser85]

I'm trying to fathom just how stupid you would need to be to actually believe this.

Televangelists are after money and don't really believe in anything anyway.

 

[<(o_o)>]

I'm not sure I can picture what exactly a hand baby looks like

Please help

http://fellowshipofminds.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/baby-in-hand1.jpg

 

[<(o_o)>]

LINK

*looks down at right hand*

Oh Gawd....

Good thing I don't practice his religion.

 

[Hypestyle]

I see this clergyperson is Turkish. I'm sure American televangelists are already saying similar things, idiotic as they may be.

 

[KevanG]

In America you're damned no matter what you do and you'll be reminded about it every single second.